Welp. Here I am.

It's been fucking ages since I woke up in this shithole of a room.

It's dark, humid, cold and I have jack shit to do...

Why the **** did I even have to get to know that fucking god of who-knows-what... Who the **** even is he... "Hey look at me I'm god, you isekai, hur dur\~." Asshole... Couldn't he just let me fucking die?

And what the actual **** is this shit in front of me? A fucking gerblin? Why the **** does this shithole only have a single fucking goblin... What the **** am I supposed to do with it.

<< Goblin A is a monster belonging to this dungeon, its purpose is to defend the dungeon-core and deter intruders from gaining access to the core room. >>

OH?! REALLY?! THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT YOU FUCKING CUNT!

<< You are welcome Core >>

God... Not even the fucking system is useful... Next time tell me something I don't know, idiot.

<< System directive updated, will no longer notify about previously acknowledged intel. >>

Thank you!

Holy shit... I can't even think to myself without this fricking system interfering... Do you even know what privacy is?

<< Yes Core, I do know what the noun Privacy stands for. >>

IT WAS A RETHORICAL QUESTION! For fucks sake can this shit even get any worse.

< *PEEEEEEEM* *PEEEEEEM* *PEEEEEEM* >

Now what the fucking heck is that alarm for?

<< Intruders have been spotted around the entrance of the Dungeon, Core. >>

**** me, and for fucks sake stop calling me "Core", It's freaking me out.

<< How would you like to prefer being called? >>

Oh hell, here we go again, call me Master or something.

<< Core is not Master, permission denied. >>

And who the **** is the master?

<< Currently Dungeon Phi has no master, do you accept Gerlingdor as the Dungeon-Master? >>

Who the **** even is Gerlingdor?

<< Gerlingdor is the sole monster in this dungeon. >>

LIKE HELL I'LL HAVE A GOBLIN BE MY MASTER YOU PIECE OF TRASH!

"Let me check real quick if I got what you said... Not only I'll be stuck forever in a fucking cave because I'll become immortal, I also won’t have any contact with humans and if someone hits me hard enough, I die for good and lose my soul and memory? Are you fucking mental?"

"Nah, that's pretty much it, good luck. See you again when you die."

'You fucking assh-..'

Here I am, sat down at a table in front of a smiling businessman. With a hand pressing my eyes and the other tapping onto the table.

"Can you please clarify on that?"

"Sure, don't see where the difficulty is. I think I'm making myself pretty clear, I accidentally slapped a truck out of the interstate, and it fell on you from the overpass. So, you now work for me."

"No... That part I understood... What I'm asking is, how the **** did you get to that conclusion?"

"What? That you now work for me? Isn't that the obvious outcome? I mean, who wouldn't want to work for God himself?"

"Well... I clearly don't"

"Hmmmm, too bad, since you met me in person you can't go back to your world."

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean, you got to know God, I can't have you just go back and make public what you saw here..."

"Ever heard of an NDA? Ain't that complicated to be honest..."

"I don't trust this human stuff, nobody follows it, there's always a whistle-blower. Anyhow, you can't go back to your normal transmigration, so you can't just die either."

"Huh?"

"There's no way they're gonna accept someone who met me in the afterlife so all I can do is get you to my friend's world in a managerial role. You gotta give some sweat for that immortality of yours."

"Immortality? Since when? I have no interest in being immortal, please just let me die."

"Can't do, sorry. VIRGINIAAAAAAA!\~" God, pressed a button on the interphone mic in front of him and screamed a name that I could only guess to be his secretary's.

Soon after, a woman opened the door to the office we were in, it looked just like any CEO's office to be honest, large with gorgeous wooden furniture and very luxurious, with a huge window behind his desk. However, the entire planet could be seen from it, as if we were in a space station.

The woman who was opening the door looked hot as ****. She was fairly young-looking, I'd guess around 23, she had very well-defined facial characteristics, fair skin and a unnatural and alluring pink hair in a bob cut. She looked like something straight out of a dream. Her curves were simply fantastic, her breasts, perfectly sized to just sleep onto them, and she wore a tight pencil black and white dress that only reached an inch over her knees, beneath she wore black translucent thighs and a pair of stylish black stilettos. Damn boy. This guy in front of me must be banging her BIG TIME.

"Yes, Mister President, did you call me?"

"Of course, I did, come here real quick."

As she walked past me, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She noticed it and gave me a cute little side smile as she walked right past me and sat on the table between me and God. He immediately passed his arm over her waist pulled her closer. And after brushing her hair aside with his other hand, kissed her neck. Making her make a very tame moan and blush.

**** I was right, no way he's not banging her.

"Thanks honey, please get this man into the reassignment portal and input these files into the system. Oh, while you're at it, activate Gloria for him."

"Yes dear, I’m not trying to pry into this or anything but are you sure you want me to get him Gloria of all people? She's... just... you know."

Holy ****, what the hell is with her voice? she sounds like a fucking angel! But the face she's making when talking about this girl is making me a little worried... I better not interrupt them yet though.

"Nah, this jack-*** is gonna be just fine with her, give them a couple decades and I don't doubt them getting married"

Nevermind.

"Ahem, you know I'm still here, right? Also, who is Gloria?"

"Yeah, chill. Gloria is just a sidekick. She's gonna help you out with stuff albeit not very willingly. Relax though, she’s just gonna be like a telemarketing attendant at worst."

"You mean... Annoying and completely useless?"

"Bahahahahaha"

"kuku"

Yeah... they're laughing, guess my guess was right on point.

"hahaha... Sorry, back where we were, yes. She is a tough cookie to bite. It had been eons since I last heard Virgie laugh so, you get a bonus. Here, take my blessing."

His hand touched my head and Virgie hand an expression full of anticipation but...

"Was I supposed to feel anything?"

"Well, it varies from person to person, who knows." He said while shrugging.

"Also, my name is Friedrich, since you didn't ask. Virgie, please do as I said."

"Yes dear, please come with me." Virgie promptly stood up as soon as he took his hands off of her.

*Clap*

And flushed from the slap she got on the ***.

She said nothing and just kept walking.

I was mortified, but since it didn't have anything to do with me, I just stood up, thanked the unmindful god, since who knows when he may become useful, and followed her out of the room.

"Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." As I walked out, I heard him complete the sentence by muttering to himself, but preferred to pretend I didn't hear him. "What an interesting subject..."

I followed Virgie through many corridors, entranced with her *** that swayed from side to side with every step she took. As we approached an ivory door her pace started to slow down, and I realized she wanted me to catch up with her. As soon as I reached her side, she stopped walking and smiled.

"This is your destination, but before you go."

She put one of her arms around my neck and grabbed my already hard **** over my pants while giving me a hot kiss...

My hands moved on their own and grabbed onto her juicy ***.

"Ahh..." She moaned softly and took a step back giggling.

"Thank you for making me feel like a woman again... It had been centuries since he last treated me like today. And while I'm at it, nice **** you got there. Too bad we don't have the time."

"Err... You're welcome... I guess?"

"Ah, don't get me wrong, he is my husband but that is another thing, I may not look like it, but I am also a goddess. Life gets pretty boring when you live forever. And shoving my work onto him while only having to be his assistant is way easier. This world has dozens of us though."

"Oh, that makes sense. Thank you for everything, also, you kiss pretty damn well."

"Thank you." She said while blushing. "Also, please take good care of my sister... She can be a little rough at times but she's a lovely girl"

"I guess you're talking about Gloria, right? I'll keep that in mind."

"Thank you again, now, I hope we see each other soon enough. If you ever need me, here is my card. Also, here is Fried’s, I think he forgot to hand you his"

Well that is odd... Gods having business cards, and there being many of them... It stinks of Bureaucracy. Fair enough for earth I'd say.

Oh, about me? Not much to say. I was just a depressed university student trying my 3rd graduation after dropping both Engineering and Administration. Med school was fine I guess; too bad I won't get to finish it. Welp. At least now I don't have to deal with my family anymore. They were a solid nightmare. My parents were good people, but they had their issues. My father was a complete piece of trash, worthless for all I could care, and barely showed up at all. But he was a nice guy. My mom on the other hand was pretty diligent and steadfast... too much for me I'd say. Being around her suffocated me just imagining having to do half what she did a day, also she had the habit of badmouthing everyone and everything and cherry-picking things to complain about so... yeah, rough. Dying was, honestly, a good way of getting rid of my problems, too bad I don't have that choice anymore. Let's hope life will be at least somewhat enjoyable wherever I'm going.

Huh.

'Virginia Pudoris, Goddess of Chastity and Virginity'

'Earth Divine Management Service, Inc.'

'47th Floor, Office 5'

'ERX-DGD-CHASTE'

WHAT THE ****? That makes no fucking sense.

I looked at her confused.

"Ah, that just means I rule over, and oversee when people give up on it, it's actually the opposite of what you were thinking."

"Oh, that makes way more sense... Nice." I now looked at the other card she gave me.

'Friedrich Organisiert, God of Logistics and Freight'

'Earth Divine Management Service, Inc.'

'45th Floor, Office 1'

'ERX-DGD-CARGO'

Holy ****, it really is a Bureaucracy, even worse, it's corporativism. I my greatest reward will be leaving this damned place.

"Also, what are these codes?"

"There is a skill called Divine Communication, like a magical god telephone, doesn't really matter to you though."

So, if I learnt it, I could theoretically talk to them. That's handy.

"See you then."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it." She answered while licking her lips.

As I open the door and a white inside starts to appear, I finally start to freak out internally.

I mean, what the heck? Did I just flirt a married woman? with a god, nonetheless? What the heck is up with that? Well, who cares, I won't see her again in a long time.

As I got into the white room my mind started to become hazy and my body felt like I was dissolving.

And I soon found myself in a dark cave.

< Dungeon STATUS System Intel: >

< Dungeon: CODENAME Φ Phi >

< >

< Rank: UNRANKED (G) >

< Nº. of rooms: 1 >

< Nº. of Animals: 0 >

< Nº. of Monsters: 1 >

< Nº. of Fake Cores: 0 >

< Nº. of Chests: 0 >

< Value of Treasury: 0G >

< Warehouse Size: NA >

< Evolution Status: Nil >

< Evolution Points: 1 >

< EP Passive Income: 1 >

< Core: Coexisting Organism for Regeneration and Evolution >

< >

< Lvl.: 0 >

< Rank: UNRANKED (G) >

< Attributes: >

< ◘ VITALITY(VIT): 10 >

< ◘ RESISTANCE(HAR): 10 >

< ◘ MANA(MAN): 100 >

< ◘ STAMINA(RES): 5 >

< ◘ INTELIGENCE(INT): 58 >

< >

< Passive Sills: >

< • Regeneration I >

< • Magic Resistance I >

< • Increased Mana Recovery Rate I >

< • Wandering Gaze I >

< >

< Active Sills: >

< • Body Manifestation >

< >

< Curses and Blessings: >

< • Earth's God of Logistics Blessing >

< • Earth's God of Virginity Blessing >

< Dungeon Master: ABSENT >

<>

As all that information flowed into my head and manifested into a floating GUI in the air the reality finally clicked, I was already in another world. The voice I heard sounded very familiar, it resembled a lot the voice of the cute and hot goddess I met just before. I have the blessing of both gods... I will never show this to anyone... Having the blessing of the god of virginity makes me sound like a weeb... Anyhow, what the heck have I become?

I just realized; my eyesight is completely different... the angle is the same but the height is way lower... What if I look down...? Wa\~

You joking? Oh, the wandering gaze thing... This is weird as ****... It’s like I'm a floating pair of eyes... Uh, found myself, I'm this box in the middle of the room.

Now that's underwhelming... It just looks like a blackish cube... Hey Gloria, is there anything else to that underwhelming box?

<< There is some lighting to the dungeon core, although you can't control the Pattern of the lights themselves since that is an identifier of the individual core, you can control the colors, intensity and speed in which the lights change using the Chroma subtab in the Menu. Keep in mind the Menu is both word and thought controlled.>>

Yay, I became a Razer Chroma RGB Cube... Everything I ever wanted to be in my entire life...

Open Chroma

< CHROMA >

< >

< R \= 0 >

< G \= 0 >

< B \= 0 >

< Gamma \= -0 >

< Brightness \= OFF >

< >

< Primary Color: OFF >

< Secondary Color: OFF >

< Light Effect: OFF >

< Effect Speed: OFF >

Are you fucking serious? I really have RGB? That sounds fun.

Set Primary Color to Indigo and Secondary Color to Very Dark Purple. Set Brightness to 255, Effect to Breathing and Speed to Slow.

Nice.

The box started to slowly change colors; the main body was still a very deep black but the lights lit up the entire room. It had a very beautiful fractal being lit up and slowly changing from bright dark blue to a dim almost black, purple.

I played around with the setting for a few hours but ended up deciding this one was the best for me. I then realized there was a single goblin in the room. It was sitting up in a lotus, like a person, staring at me, that is, the cube. Since I had nothing better to do now, I tried using body manifestation and finally became the human I always had been.

The goblin immediately became confused at the sight of a human being but soon calmed down, sitting back down where he was.

After some time I realized the consumption from manifesting my body was pretty low, only 1 mana every 2 hours. I figured it was because I was doing nothing. And as such we stood there, sat on the humid rock, staring at each other for fricking hours while nothing ever happened.

After a lot of time I realized I felt no urge to sleep, only some fatigue.

Hey Gloria.

<< Yes Core. >>

Is there anything to do down here?

<< Your purpose as a dungeon core is to maintain and evolve the dungeon. >>

Yeah, I got that part from the name C.O.R.E. I mean, is there anything I can do?

<< You can use your EP to improve the dungeon in many ways. There are specific menus for building floors and rooms, increasing their number and size, relocating them, invoking items, treasures and hiring monsters. >>

What about setting up traps and stuff?

<< That menu is only available to the Dungeon Master >>

And since I don't have one?

<< You do not have access to the menu. You need to find a Dungeon Master. >>

And what if I don't want to have one?

<< There is no report of a Dungeon Core without a master for long throughout history. >>

Are there any rules about it?

<< There is no report of a Dungeon Core without a master for long throughout history. >>

I got it the first time what I'm asking is if it is possible to not have one.

<< There is no report of a Dungeon Core without a master for long throughout history. >>

Oh, for fucks sake. Just shut up I'll figure it on my own.

Select Dungeon Master.

< Dungeon Master Selection >

< >

< Available Choices >

< • Goblin A >

< • .Ǝ.ꓤ.O.Ͻ (Unavailable) >

Select C.O.R.E as Dungeon Master.

< Dungeon Master Selection >

< Selection unavailable, there are >

< other possible Masters available >

Interesting, how do I solve this...

A handful of hours passed as I tried to break through the system. Nothing worked though. I ordered the goblin to move around the room, to the corners, to push against a wall, to move him all the way out of the dungeon, which turned out to be impossible. Everything. I tried everything to unlock that option.

Why the **** did I even have to get to know that fucking god of who-knows-what... Who the **** even is he... "Hey look at me I'm god, you isekai, hur dur\~." Asshole... Couldn't he just let me fucking die?

And what the actual **** is this shit in front of me? A fucking gerblin? Why the **** does this shithole only have a single fucking goblin... What the **** am I supposed to do with it.

<< Goblin A is a monster belonging to this dungeon, its purpose is to defend the dungeon-core and deter intruders from gaining access to the core room. >>

OH?! REALLY?! THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT YOU FUCKING CUNT!

<< You are welcome Core >>

God... Not even the fucking system is useful... Next time tell me something I don't know, idiot.

<< System directive updated, will no longer notify about previously acknowledged intel. >>

Thank you!

Holy shit... I can't even think to myself without this fricking system interfering... Do you even know what privacy is?

<< Yes Core, I do know what the noun Privacy stands for. >>

IT WAS A RETHORICAL QUESTION! For fucks sake can this shit even get any worse.

< *PEEEEEEEM* *PEEEEEEM* *PEEEEEEM* >

Now what the fucking heck is that alarm for?

<< Intruders have been spotted around the entrance of the Dungeon, Core. >>

**** me, and for fucks sake stop calling me "Core", It's freaking me out.

<< How would you like to prefer being called? >

Oh hell, here we go again, call me Master or something.

<< Core is not Master, permission denied. >>

And who the **** is the master?

<< Currently Dungeon Phi has no master, do you accept Gerlingdor as the Dungeon Master? >>

Who the **** even is Gerlingdor?

<< Gerlingdor is the sole monster in this dungeon. >>

LIKE HELL I'LL HAVE A GOBLIN BE MY MASTER YOU PIECE OF TRASH!

And how the **** does the goblin have a name?

<< Gerlingdor is a rare kind of monster, a Named one. Named monsters have better stats then their unnamed counterparts and more potential for improvement. >>

"That useless piece of crap is special? what the ****?"

For the first time I got nervous enough to speak out loud since I came to this idiotic dungeon. And much to my dismay the goblin seemed to have understood my words.

It started rising from the floor and grabbed his rudimentary dagger.

"What the **** is up with you now?"

The Goblin continued coming with the blade towards my manifested body.

"I am still the core of this dungeon, don't dare make a move against me!"

< Gerlingdor Requests becoming the Dungeon Master. >