Hi
my name is -simo-and i'm 18 years old, i'm very depressed for almost a year ,my situation is very complicated to explain it but i'll do my best, in simple words i can say that my life is a big bad joke, i'm always helping the people around me but when I need them no one cares,that's why i stopped talking to my friends, even my parents don't understand my feelings at all, they thinking that if i have food and place to live then i won't need anything else, it was almost a year but no one of them realized that It was so long since I smiled or maked any expression that means i'm happy, what make the matter worst... the girl that I loved for a whole 5 years has turned me down... ,i feel like everything is against my will, i feel like I'm unwanted ,hated, when i'm sitting in the table with my family i feel like I'm far away from them,all those thoughts are making my studying very difficult that i faled my last year, this i don't have any friends in my class and i'm sitting alone without talking to anyone ,even if someone talked to me i will try to end the conversation as fast as possible ,i even started to make a distance between me and everyone even though i always felt that i have no one close to me ,I'm really tired of everything right now, i wish somehow everything will vanish and disappear, should I just die?? yeah I have those thoughts alot about killing or harming myself , every time I go to sleep i wish that i won't wake up again ,but unfortunately everything is against me, my life is completely ruined...,should i just end every thing right now by suicide? but I'm am really afraid of being forgotten … thats makes my mind want to explode, the only thing I can do now is to write about my ruined life to you wishing that will make me feel better …
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(sorry but don't read what i will randomly write under that)
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