Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst

"In which he keeps breaking your heart but you don’t care because you love him"

*******

“So… are you going to tell him?”

“I…” You sigh, wiping your sweaty palms along your thighs, “I don’t know yet, Y/best friend’s/n.”

“Can I share my opinion?” She asks, and you roll your eyes, responding with, “I already know your opinion.”

“Then you also know my reasons,” She crosses her arms, then sighs as she makes her way to sit next to you. “Or do you want me to share that instead?” You stay silent, so she takes it as an opportunity to continue. 

“Let’s consider how he’s neglected you…”

You woke up, a sudden rush of excitement flooding over you when you remembered what today was. You stretched and even let out a cheeky yawn to cover up the smile forming on your lips. Your hands lowered from raising it above your head and that’s when you noticed the empty side of the bed. Your smile was replaced with a blank frown, confused as to where your beloved boyfriend could have possibly gone. You gather that it’s only 6:52AM, which is pretty early for Jungkook to already be up & atom for the day.

You discard it, your brain making up excuses like considering the possibility that he could just be making you breakfast.

You then decided to go wash up and go to the kitchen, but much to your dismay, he’s not in there either. Confusion takes over you again, and you aimlessly wander around the house to try and search for him. You discover that he’s not home, and the fact that one of the cars in the driveway was missing confirmed this. You’re making yourself breakfast as you thought about where he could possibly be. Your brain continues to make excuses for him, believing that he’s probably out planning a surprise party for you, and so you’re clouded by unsubstantial optimism as you made about your day.  

You decide that you’re going to spend this special day at the mall, treating yourself out. You doll yourself up with your high-end makeup and clothes that make you feel rich. When you check your phone, you’re overfilled with joy when you see texts from your loved ones wishing you a happy birthday. You ignored the hurt in your heart when you didn’t see any notification from him, though, clouding your mind to believe that he probably wants to greet you in person rather than over text message.

As you were shopping in the mall, arms already holding multiple bags of clothes, makeup, and whatnot, you notice a familiar figure in your field of vision. It’s Jungkook, you realize, and he’s wearing his average disguise he uses when he wants to go out in public without the paparazzi seeing him. You decide to watch him from afar, curiosity taking over you and wanted to stalk him to see what he’s doing. He doesn’t know you’re here, and you weren’t supposed to know he’s here either. You couldn’t help but smile sheepishly as you continued to follow him around, but that smile turned upside down when you witnessed him meet up with another girl. This sudden feeling of insecurity and confusion washed over you as you watched closely at how he interacted with her.

Jungkook had his arm around a girl that isn’t you, and your heart panged at the sight of it. “I trust him, I trust him, I trust him,” You kept repeating in your head. You knew him better than for him to cheat on you. “He loves me, he loves me, he loves me,” You began saying, but it was just to convince yourself rather than remind you.

Hours have passed, and now you’re back home. You were still bothered by what you had seen a while ago at the mall. It’s the evening now and Jungkook still isn’t home. Despite the doubt eating away at your conscious, you convince yourself that he’s probably planning to treat you out to a lovely dinner date.

It’s 10:37PM and you’re still waiting for him to arrive home. You’re beginning to fidget a lot; you can’t sit down without bouncing your leg and you can’t stand up without pacing back & forth. You’ve already texted the boys asking about your beloved boyfriend’s whereabouts but they still haven’t answered back yet. Your stomach growls, making you debate whether or not to continue starving yourself to save an appetite for when Jungkook treats you out to this late night dinner or to cheat yourself into a little snack.

Out of the pure silence, you hear the lock of the front door jiggle and that’s how you know Jungkook is finally home. You stand up from sitting on the couch in the living room and await for his presence to greet you. He kicks his shoes off lazy and places them on the side, not bothering to say a word even with your presence. You wait patiently, understanding that he must be tired from a long day. He finally acknowledges your presence, stopping in his tracks and you might be imagining things, but you think he rolls his eyes at you. You’re a little taken aback, feeling this overwhelming urge to crawl back into your shell.

Jungkook forces a sly smile on his face before walking up to you, greeting you a happy birthday, and kissing your forehead. Then he trudges upstairs.

“That’s it?” You ask to yourself in your head, feeling that all this waiting and effort in defending him was all for nothing.

Your stomach growls, reminding you that you still haven’t eaten dinner. You sigh, deciding to go over to the kitchen and fix yourself a snack; you were hungry, yes, but your mood is ruined. So you take out the small cake you bought exclusively for the two of you, light up one candle, made a hopeless wish, and blew out the flame.

“-and don’t forget that time he’s forgotten about you…”

“Reservation for Y/n, please.” You inform the head waitress.

“Ah, yes, table for two, right?” The girl asks for confirmation as she gets out two menus.

You nod in response and she leads you off to a small table. You tell the girl that your date will be coming later and you request for water, in which she humbly obliges to.

You must’ve read over the menu over 10 times before realizing that Jungkook is late. You text him a couple times, but those messages have yet to be read. The waitress keeps coming over and asking if you would like the second plate to be taken away, but you keep insisting that he’s coming. You even refuse to order any appetizers, wanting to wait for him to eat together; and you continue ordering glasses of water.

Now it’s about 45 minutes until the restaurant closes, and you’re still waiting for him. This feeling of numbness washed over you as you stared off at the window. The waitress doesn’t come around anymore, and you assume it’s because her shift ended an hour ago but you don’t care; you were too busy believing that he’ll come, that he’s not one to stand you up on a date night to realize how long you’ve been sitting at this damn table You watched as other tables come & go, and ignored the stares you were getting as people started to notice that you’re still waiting.

Suddenly, for the first time since you’ve arrived at the restaurant, your phone chimes. Immediately, you check the notification, and you’re relieved when you see it’s a text from Jungkook.

“Where are you? I come home, you’re not here, and there’s no dinner.”

Your heart dropped at reading that text. “Where am I?” You repeat in a low voice. “Where is he?” You ask, and that’s when you put the pieces together that this date slipped out of his mind. 

Without even blinking, tears started to form at the brim of your eyes. You call over the new waiter taking care of your table and tell him that you were going to leave now. Shuffling through your bag, you pull out your wallet and give him a tip even though he hasn’t served you. Though confused, he accepts it and wishes you a good night.

When you arrived home, you put the takeout that you’ve bought on the kitchen table. You inform Jungkook in a monotonous voice (that he doesn’t care to catch) that there’s food in the kitchen, in which he goes off to help himself to. You, on the other hand, weren’t in the mood to eat anymore so you go straight to bed, and cry yourself to sleep.

“-and… what else has he done?” Your best friend trails off and starts to think.

Without thinking, you blurt out in a whisper, “He’s also cheated on me.”

Your best friend looks at you in bewilderment. Unsettlingly, you glance over at her, and you weren’t surprised to see that her eyebrows are furrowed with a concerned look on her face. “…What?” She dares to further question in a soft tone, scared of the explanation that is yet to come from your mouth. “Yeah…” You sigh…

Prior to this moment, you told Jungkook that you would be coming home late tonight; after work, you planned to go visit your parents on the other side of town, which would be a long drive. Jungkook took your absence to his advantage; He made plans immediately after you informed him, but things didn’t go your way after work, for you were held back for an extra shift so your parents preferred if you took the rest of the night to settle back at your house and  come over to visit them the next day.

You decide to inform Jungkook of this change of plans when you actually come home. Knowing him, he was probably out at the studios or he could be lounging around. Coming home to a quiet house was oddly suspicious, though, but you brush it off because then again, he could be out at the studios with the rest of his band. Your first instinct was to go straight to bed and sleep. As you were trudging down the hallway to your shared bedroom, muffled sounds coming from two people could be heard. Each step closer to your room made the noises even louder. Now cautious, you carefully make your way up to the door.

Your first thought was that your house has been broken into and entered, but thinking back to your front door, you realize that there were no signs of forced entry. Confused, you gather that there are two people in your room, and you realize that one voice was of a male and the other was of a female. You then press your ear against the surface of the door, thinking that you could probably try to connect the familiarity of the voices with faces.

“The voices sound so lewd…” You think to yourself, and you realize that they’re sexual moans. You press your ear more firmly on the door to concentrate on the voices even more, and your eyes widen in revelation when you conclude that it’s Jungkook in the room, with another woman.

Ever so slowly, you open up the door and peek your eye through the slightest opening you’ve made, just so that you can test your conclusions. Much to your dismay, your suspicions were proven true. 

There was a ***** Jungkook on top of another woman in your bed.

You had to cover your mouth with your hand so that they wouldn’t hear your gasp. With the same carefulness used to open the door, you closed it. With the tips of your toes, you scurried down the hallway and out of the house, shutting the front door quietly and not letting your overwhelming emotions take over you to slam it. You realize that you didn’t even put on shoes but you didn’t care. You ran off back to your car, where you sat in the driver’s seat, released your hand from covering up your cries, and sobbed your heart out.

“Fucking hell, Y/n! Why didn’t you tell me?” Your best friend scolds you, and you wince in response. “That’s a code red! A fucking red flag! Not only has he neglected you, forgotten about you, but he’s also cheated on you! Why the hell are you still with him when he treats you like shit?”

“Because…” You whisper, but you pause because you know Y/best friend’s/n is going to get mad at you, but you say it anyway. “I love him.”

“Oh my…” Your best friend grumbles, standing up and rubbing her temples. You bite your lip to hold back the tears threatening to form from this pressure. The silence lingers and the tension grows heavy. You bow your head down to look at your lap but you look at your best friend through your eyelashes as she walks over to the window to look over at the view for a moment. She rolls her jaw and shakes her head a little, but once she turns around to walk back to you, you avert your eyes back to your lap.

You resume looking at her when she kneels in front of you, taking your hand in hers and her vibe of a caring one. “Leave him, Y/n.” She advises you, and you bite your lip even harder. “I’ll buy an extra plane ticket for you to come back to our hometown tonight, with me.” She suggests, and you don’t know what to think.

She understands your silence and continues, “The flight is at 10:30PM, okay? You have from now until then to think about your decision. If you do decide to come, then bag check-ins are at 9PM, but if you don’t show up then I understand.”

You nod your head, but it was mostly just to fight off the tears. Your best friend sighs before getting up to leave. “I’m going to go now, I gotta flight to prepare for and you have a decision to make.”

You sat still as you heard her leave your house, but once you heard her car engine turn on and leave out into the street, the tears that you were holding back slipped down your cheeks and you laid back in your bed. This conversation was too much for you, so you decide to sleep off these emotions and decide when you wake up.

The problem was that you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. Sure, you were able to get some shut-eye to discard these emotions, but that left you to think about your best friend’s offer. You look over at the clock and see that it’s 4:38PM, and you calculate that you have a good 4 hours to pack up and still have time to call an Uber to drive you to the airport. You bite your lip again as you stared at the clock to think about this.

“If he’s willing to neglect, forget, and even cheat on me, will he also do it to…” You begin, but you couldn’t even bear to finish the thought.

You love him, you want to stay with him, even through all this pain he’s bringing you, and you know it’s selfish, so you think about the opposite side of the spectrum. You already gathered the pros & cons of staying, so you compare it to the pros & cons of leaving. That’s when you’ve come to the conclusion to be selfless, just this once, for the both of you. You’ve come to face the fact that Jungkook doesn’t even love you anyways.

…

You finished packing up all your belongings just in time to order an Uber and go off to the airport. As you bring your luggage down to the front door, you realize that you can’t just leave Jungkook without an explanation, so you hurry back up to the bedroom. You put the secret that you told Y/best friend’s/n in a box, with a post-it containing two words, and you place it on the bed.

In a scurry, you meet up at the destination of your designated Uber driver, and after you settled all your stuff in the trunk of the car & sit in the back seat, you kept your eyes steady on the house as you left.

It’s about 9:15PM when you arrive at the airport, and you were in a hurry to go and meet up with Y/best friend’s/n and still have time to check in your luggage. While wandering around, you notice your best friend sitting with her leg bouncing impatiently and her phone in her hands. She must’ve been waiting for you to text her your decision, you conclude, but she noticed you make your way up to her and she smiled, delighted that you’ve chosen to leave rather than stay in your unhealthy relationship with Jungkook. She greets you with a hug, which you accept thankfully.

“So,” Your best friend starts once you two part from the embrace, “What made you finalize your decision?”

You sigh, looking off to the side. “I love him, you know? I’ll take him any way I can, but not like this…” You respond, putting a hand on your stomach. “Not for our child.”

Y/best friend’s/n smiles appreciatively. “I’m proud of you.” She responds, and you smile.

“Now, c’mon,” She beckons, linking her arm in yours. “Let’s go get your stuff checked-in.”

…

Hours after you leave, Jungkook arrives home too, but he isn’t alone. He’s brought another girl home, and he’s more than ready to have some fun in bed with her. He’s too busy planting kisses on this other woman to notice your stuff is missing. Jungkook has this woman’s legs around his waist as he carries her upstairs, and not once has their lips ever parted away from each other. He secures one arm around the woman’s waist so that he can use his other hand to open up the door to the bedroom.

“Ouch!” The girl yelped once Jungkook put her on the bed. She puts her hand behind her back and pulls out the box you left. She looks at him in confusion. “What the ****?” She comments as she gives the object to him.

Jungkook was about to discard the box, but your post-it with your handwriting of, “I’m sorry” caught his attention. He’s got a bad feeling about this, so he kicks the girl out of his house.

“What?” The girl asks, obviously hurt.

“You heard me,” He snaps, “Get out.”

With a huff, the girl collects herself and exits the room. Jungkook could care less about her attitude right now; he’s too focused on finding out what could possibly be in the box to deal with her. After he catches the front door slam shut, he opens up the lid, and he’s shocked to see a pregnancy test in there. His eyes scan the room and that’s when he notices your belongings are missing. Then his eyes go back to your apology note, and he throws the pregnancy test at the wall.

”Damn it,” Jungkook couldn’t help but curse. ”God fucking damn it…”

*****

Author : ****Yna**** / Am I the queen of angst yet?

All credits go to her for this amazing Imagine (~°°)~

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst

*****

“How the hell did you find me?”

“ARMYs.” Jungkook answers as if it was that simple.

You roll your eyes at him. At first thought, you found the explanation ridiculous, but as you continued dwelling upon the idea of Jungkook using his fanbase to help him look for you, the more you realize that it didn’t seem so radical at all. The BTS fandom is basically whipped for these boys. You scowl at him as he makes himself comfortable in the seat in front of you.

“I tweeted out that I needed to find you,” He continues, “Those who really shipped us together were willing to help. It wasn’t that hard, actually, considering that you’re a regular customer here.” He then looks around the cafe in a judging manner, and you were looking at him as if looks could kill. When he looks back at you, you changed your hatred stare into one that didn’t show any emotion, “All they did was tweet me a picture of you here, with the city and saying that you come here at this time.”

You purposely sigh with annoyance. “Anyways, what do you want?” You ask, crossing your arms. Jungkook rolls his eyes, sitting back as he crosses his arms, and his tongue poking at his cheek. “Isn’t obvious? You’re carrying my baby.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, “What, and you want something to do with our child?” You ask, but before he could answer, you correct yourself, “I mean, my child?”

“Your child, you say?” Jungkook repeats, and you can imagine smoke coming out of his ears. “What about me? Don’t I get a say in this matter too?”

You slam your hands on the table, not too harshly, though, just loud enough to make an emphasis on him. “You lost your say when you couldn’t even treat me right, Jungkook. If you have the audacity to treat me like shit, then what more of a baby?”

“Treat you like shit? What the ****? When did that ever happen?” He pressed accusingly. You scoff and roll your eyes before answering, “First of all, you forgot about our dinner date. I don’t even think you realize—” Jungkook then cuts you off, “Oh boo-hoo. I forgot a date. Did you search up ‘Top 5 Signs Your Relationship is Going Downhill’ and based your conclusions off of that?”

“I don’t think you realize,” You continue, ignoring his interruption. “How important it was to me. It was just another date, yeah,” You take his words into consideration mockingly, “I mean, I waited for you for hours, Jungkook! Then you text me asking me where I am and why there isn’t dinner at home -well, that’s because dinner was supposed to be our date out!” You argue, out of breath. You pause for a moment, inhaling & exhaling deeply before whispering, “My heart kept on insisting on a man who would never come.” Tears started to build up in your eyes at this point, but you fought them off. “If you forgot about your responsibility to me as your girlfriend, then what about your responsibility to your child as a father?”

“Even on my birthday!” You bring up, “I still don’t even know where you went that day. I woke up so early, wanting my first birthday greeting to be from my boyfriend, but instead I wake up to an empty bed, and a fucking empty house. My heart kept on defending you, insisting to me that you probably have some surprise going on for me and that the only reason you didn’t contact me all day was so you can greet me in person.” You then twiddle with your thumbs because looking back at this past makes you feel embarrassed. “You know, I even went to the mall…” You add softly, and you’re looking down at your hands but you look up through your eyelashes to see his reaction. He’s currently still as stone and his eyes wide. If you focused closely, you can see Jungkook’s Adam’s apple bob up & down, and you can imagine sweat running down his temple.

“I saw you there, and I thought you were going out to buy me a present or something but instead, I see you meet up with another woman. Care to explain?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

Jungkook opens his mouth to say something but there is no response that could possibly help him. You feel proud of his loss for words and continue, “And then you come home when the day is almost over, and I thought you were gonna treat me out to dinner, but instead, you finally greet me a happy birthday -begrudgingly, may I also add, and then you go upstairs to sleep! I bought a cake for the two of us -did you know that? Like why does the birthday girl have to buy her own cake?”

You pause there, taking a moment to breathe again, and you look off to the side. “I felt so neglected… It really fucking hurt, Jungkook, and I don’t want to risk the possibility of you to cause that same pain to this baby.”

Jungkook looks down at his hands, his jaw is clenched because he wants to say something to prove you wrong but there’s no argument coming to his mind. “-And don’t think I’m gonna let you get away with you cheating on me.” You bring up too. Jungkook’s eyes snap up to look at you, his lids going wide. “…What? How did you…” He asks in a whisper.

“I caught you with another woman in our own-fucking-bed that day I was supposed to go visit my parents after work. My boss held me to work another shift, and my parents wanted me to get some rest instead of visiting them. They said I could visit them anytime, anyways, so I went home early.” You end there, because you know Jungkook can put the pieces together from there.

“You think I’m gonna let our child see how bad our relationship is?” You ask. “I’d rather have nothing to do with you at all rather than let my child be influenced by your indecent, selfish ways.”

“I…” Jungkook sighs, “I’m sorry,” He whispers.

You stay silent because you don’t know how to respond to his apology. He’s usually too stubborn to apologize so you know that when he does, it’s not a moment to be taken for granted. You look at him, remembering all the moments you spent with him, the good & the bad, the beginning until the end. You bite your lip, hesitant to ask, but you do it anyways.

“Do you even love me anymore?” You question, biting your lip afterward.

He hesitates, obviously taken aback by this sudden change of topic, and he lets a moment linger too long before you finally get your answer. He says nothing. You scoff and shake your head. “Look, Jungkook,” You sigh, sitting forward to put your intertwined hands on the table. “I appreciate that you want to be a father to our child, but we can’t be proper parents if we can’t even tolerate each other—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Jungkook cuts you off, offended. “I admit, I don’t have the same feelings I held for you before now, but I never said anything about not being able to tolerate you!” He argues. “What, can you not tolerate me?” He asks.

“Well, can you blame me?” You ask, a single tear rolling down your cheek. “You treated me like shit when we were together. I’m not gonna let you do that to me again, and I’m certainly not going to let you do it to my child.”

“If you told me you were pregnant, then I would’ve cleaned up my act!” He rebuttals.

“Oh, so were you going to clean up your act after you forgotten a date & left me waiting for you for fucking nothing? After you neglected me on my fucking birthday? Or were you going to clean up your act after you fucking cheated on me?” You spat.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything to this, but you can see him tense up. “I’ll get you back, Y/n.” He tells you in a low voice, and you roll your eyes. “I’ll be a father to our child… I’ll do whatever it takes, I’ll do it in any way I can.”

“Not like this, not anymore, Jungkook. You’re already too late.” You shake your head at him. “Besides, taking care of a child with the person you no longer love isn’t the family dream, now is it?” You reason lightly.

You get up to leave, but as you were about to exit the cafe, Jungkook says, “I’ll come back in 8 months, Y/n! If I can’t be a father to my child, then I want to at least be for our child’s birth.”

…

This was supposed to be another check-up appointment for the progress of your baby. Never in your wildest dreams would you even consider the possibility of your doctor giving you such horrible news. You’re 4 months into your pregnancy, and in a couple weeks, you’re supposed to get your first ultrasound -all in which you were more than excited for. You & your best friend walked in, arm linked to arm as you entered, but you felt you were suffocating as you rush to get out of that hospital, your best friend helplessly following behind.

After you discovered that you lost your baby, you went silent. Your best friend tried to talk to and comfort you in the car, but it was of no avail. Your mouth was slightly agape and you were holding back the tears threatening to fill your eyes as your best friend drove you back to your guys’ house. When you arrived home, you went straight to your room, and your best friend tried to catch up but after she adjusted her parking & locked the car, you had already locked the door.

It’s been 2 weeks after learning of your miscarriage, and never have you once been out of your room. You went out to use the bathroom and to eat, but that was only when it was late at night, when you know your best friend is back in her own room. Your best friend has attempted endlessly to get you out of your room, to vent out about this loss, but you continued to remain in the confinements of your room.

It wasn’t until Jungkook just couldn’t stop calling you that you finally opened up the door. He’s done his research and he knows that about 20 weeks into pregnancy is when the ultrasound appointments begin. There is no doubt that he wants you to send a picture of the progress of your baby to him. When you didn’t answer his first couple calls and texts, he thought you were avoiding him again, so he decided to spam you with calls.

Hitting the decline button became tiring and the fact that Jungkook couldn’t get the memo that you don’t want to talk now (and maybe ever) was so annoying. As your best friend was doing her daily routine of cleaning up the house, she sees your door open, and she freezes at the sight of you. At first glance, it isn’t hard to tell that you aren’t taking care of yourself. You take one look at her, quickly acknowledging her presence, and she’s about to say something to you, but you throw your phone out of your room, close the door, and lock yourself in again.

Your best friend sighs, thinking that this might be the closest she’ll ever get to you coming out of your room. She goes over to where your phone has landed, not surprised that the screen is shattered, considering that you’ve been bottling up your feelings in your room and this was an opportunity you took to express it by throwing your hurling your phone at the wall. She is surprised, though, that it’s still working, and that Jungkook is still calling.

Your best friend stares at his caller ID; She knows that you haven’t told him about the miscarriage. You haven’t uttered a word ever since finding out, not to her nor your parents, so you obviously wouldn’t say anything to your ex-boyfriend, who was also the father of your late child. A lump forms in her throat, scared of breaking the news to him. She inhales deeply before answering his call.

“Heya Jungkook,” Your best friend greets awkwardly.

“… This doesn’t sound like Y/n.” Jungkook quickly notices. “Who are you?”

‘It’s Y/best friend’s/n, Y/n’s best friend.” She answers.

“Alright, and where’s Y/n?” He asks, straight to the point.

“She’s locked up in her room right now.” She answers, and then adds in a mutter, “Has been for the past couple weeks, actually.”

“What?” Jungkook then questions, “Why?”

Your best friend bites her lip, unsure of how to break it to him. There’s no simple way to put this, and she doesn’t want to say bluntly that you had a miscarriage; She wants to sugarcoat this. “Well, you see,” And she pauses, her brain working real hard to try to find an easy way to say this, but she didn’t want the silence to linger for too long and she honestly can’t think of another way to phrase this so she says, “Y/n lost the baby.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to be silent, but it wasn’t long until he says, “Fuck.”

Your best friend doesn’t say anything in response, because she doesn’t know what to say. Jungkook then tells her, “I’m going over there,” before hanging up.

Your best friend decides to keep ahold of your phone just in case he calls again. She knew Jungkook had to fly over from South Korea to your hometown, so she expects him to call when he lands so that she can pick him up and bring you here. So, of course, she was surprised when she saw an Uber pull up at the driveway in the middle of the night. Jungkook exits out of the car and immediately makes his way to the front door, and your best friend doesn’t hesitate to open it. She leads him to your room, where the first thing he does is knock on the door and talk to you. You don’t answer.

His voice starts to waver as he continues thumping at the door, and your best friend was a little taken aback at the sight of him breaking down. He’s crying as he pounds on your door. “Let me in, Y/n. Let me in.”

Your best friend is watching in pity as Jungkook kneels down to the ground with his fist still hitting the door -his knees probably went weak for him to properly stand. She doesn’t know what to do to help.

“Let me in!” Jungkook suddenly yells as warm tears streamed down his cheeks. His tone then changed to a soft one to match his devastation at the reality hitting him now. He’s crying because not only has he lost his child, but he’s also lost you. “Just please,” He pleads, “Let me in.”

*******

Author : Yna / Am I the queen of angst yet?

All credits go to the author, this doesn't belong to me ✔

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst to Fluff (?)

*****

“Let me in!” Jungkook suddenly yells as warm tears streamed down his cheeks. His tone changed to a soft one to match his devastation at the reality hitting him now. He’s crying because not only has he lost his child, but he’s also lost you. “Just please,” He pleads, “Let me in.”

While he’s hopelessly pleading to you from the hallway, you sit on the floor with your back on your bedroom door. Your chin is atop of your knees, one arm is hugging your legs, and your other hand is formed into a fist in your mouth to muffle up your cries. Warm tears are furiously flowing down your cheeks now, but it’s no surprise to you because these tears have been shedding ever since you learned of your miscarriage.

You know it’s childish; shutting your loved ones out like this, but you just can’t help it. You were ready for the responsibility of becoming a mother and you were excited for it. You were willing to sacrifice your sleep in the middle of the night to tend to your baby’s sudden wailing, to spend extra money on baby clothes & toys, and to have the house filled up with baby food & diapers. You were ready for the responsibility because this child is supposed to be your motivation, your key to living, your reason to be happy.

Not to color you heartbroken & depressed, but after the hardships you’ve faced with your family, the stress from school, and now the breakup with Jungkook, you were hoping that your child would be your light. Now that you lost your child, you can’t help but feel that there’s no hope for you; that you were destined to live life with no purpose. You’ve left your family, you went through years of stress, you lost your love, and you lost your baby. Maybe it’s time to face the facts: You can’t be happy. Life just won’t allow you to be happy.

“Y/n! You can’t keep ignoring us -ignoring me forever!” Jungkook yells, still pounding at your door and snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Fucking watch me!” You want to scream back, but instead, you sobbed into your fist even harder.

…

Later on that night, when it’s the late AM and when Jungkook is done trying to reach out to you, you became hungry. So you got up from bed and walked up to your door. Once you put your hand on the handle, you hesitated. You couldn’t help but wonder where Jungkook is; He just stopped yelling & knocking beating at your door so suddenly. You shake off that thought though; You had no reason to think, to worry about him, not anymore.

With a sigh, you open up your door, but you were surprised to see Jungkook lying on the floor, dead asleep. You shake your head at him, being cautious as you step over him so that he won’t wake up. Once you got your food, you trudged back upstairs, sighing as you were stepping over Jungkook again, but he caught you by surprise when he grabbed onto your ankle. Your eyes were wide, but you kept a straight face to show no emotion to his sudden action.

“Can we talk now?” Jungkook grumbles, his groggy voice prominent.

You seeth out an exhale and shake his grip off you leg before going into your room and slamming the door. You sit on the side of your bed, brushing your hand through your hair and fighting off the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. You then sigh for the umph-teenth time as you go through your drawer of your nightstand and take out a pacifier. You bit your lip as you stare at it in the palms of your hands. There was so much unfulfilled potential, so much wasted memories held within this little object; It made you want to scream at fate being so cruel to take away your child. Instead, you held it to your chest and cried.

In the early morning, which was around 5:45AM, you woke up. You sat up, this heavy weight of devastation controlling your aura right now, and for a second there, you forgot why. When you realized you were still holding the pacifier in your hands, your mind suddenly flashed back to when your doctor told you of your miscarriage, and you shook your head, not wanting to be in any more grief than what you’re already feeling. So, you sighed, deciding that you need to get something to eat before your best friend could catch you and force you to stay out of your room.

You got up to go to your door but you freeze once you put your hand on the handle because it came to your attention that Jungkook could still be out there. Immediately, you ignored any thoughts of what you could do just in case he tries to grab at your ankle again because why should you pay any regard to him? You just need to go out and come back in just like you have been doing for the past couple weeks.

Once you opened the door, you admit, you were a little surprised to see that he wasn’t still sleeping in the hallway, but that didn’t catch you off guard. You continued your business, going to the kitchen to fix yourself up some cereal & milk. As usual, you ate in the silence of the dining table, and when you finished, you cleaned up after yourself, making sure to put away your utensils as they were before, to make sure you make no trace that you were out of your room.

You trudged back upstairs and locked yourself up in your room again, but much to your surprise, Jungkook was in your bed, holding the pacifier in his hands and simply staring at it. You roll your jaw & cross your arms, a gesture that Jungkook knows all too well that you’re irritated. He ignores your unwelcoming glare. “Get out of my room, Jungkook.” You demand, your voice low and firm.

Jungkook scoffs, “What makes you think I’m going to do that?” He takes his eyes off the pacifier and looks at you. “You think I’m going to leave after I finally get the opportunity to fucking talk to you?”

“You’re going to get out of my room because you are going to respect the fact that I don’t want you here.” You responded through gritted teeth. Jungkook shrugged and you rolled your eyes, looking off to the side. “We have nothing to talk about anyways.”

“Oh really now?” Jungkook presses, and you turn your attention back to him with a raised eyebrow. “Because it seems like you have a lot of bottled up feelings you need to let out.” He points out, even holding up the pacifier for emphasis.

“Well, I certainly don’t want to let out my bottled up feelings to the likes of you.” You replied, your words rather venomous. “Since when did you care, anyways…” You mumbled.

“Goddamn it, Y/n, I always cared!” Jungkook snapped, and you were taken aback. “Just because I lost that spark for you doesn’t mean I can’t tolerate you, and it doesn’t mean I don’t care! Can you please get that into your thick skull?”

You were hurt by his outburst, and he could tell because you’re not responding & you’re just looking at the ground. Jungkook sighs, knowing that he went a little too far. “I’m sorry,” He whispers before getting up from bed and going up to you. “It’s just… I’m worried, alright? You and I both know that this isn’t healthy for you. Not physically, not mentally, and not emotionally. I want to help you, Y/n.”

“I never asked for your help.” You grumble, refusing to look at him.

“Well, you need it, and I’m willing to provide that for you.” He responds, “And I’m sure your best friend is willing to, and even your parents, too.”

Your eyes grow wide at the mention of your parents, and you try to hide your reaction by walking off to the foot of your bed to sit on. But Jungkook took notice of your actions and furrowed his eyebrows as he watched you move. “What?” He questions. “Did I say something wrong?”

“My parents,” You whisper, twiddling your fingers. You bit your lip when you pause, taking a short moment to look at him. “They still don’t know.”

“What?” Jungkook whispers intensely. “Why not?”

You roll your eyes at his rather stupid question. “If I didn’t want to talk to you nor Y/best friend’s/n, then what makes you think I want to talk to my parents?”

Jungkook’s jaw clenches, not really liking your attitude right now, but he brushes it off because he doesn’t want to ruin his chance to talk to you now that you two are together. “Call them.” He decides to respond, but before you can ask “What?”, he cuts you off saying, “Right now.”

“I’m not going to tell them over the phone!” You say in a matter-of-factly manner. “That’s like breaking up over— What are you doing?” You break your train of thought when you see him going over to your landline phone and looking for your parent’s number.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, which only adds to your worries. He presses a button on the phone, and your eyes go wide when you hear the ringing tone put on speaker. “Oh my fucking god!” You hiss, going up to the boy and trying to get the phone so you can disconnect. Unfortunately, due to his height, he was able to raise the phone out of your reach.

Your heart pounds against your chest when your parents finally answer. “Hello?” Your mother’s voice greets. Your hand lowers from attempting to grab the phone, knowing it’s too late to try and hang up now. Your breath catches in your throat and you stare at Jungkook with eyes wide. He gestures the phone to you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. So, he purses his lips and brings the phone to his ear.

“Hello, Mrs. Y/last/n?” Jungkook greets, his tone of voice welcoming.

“Oh, I could’ve sworn Y/n or Y/best friend’s/n called…” She mumbles. “I’m sorry, who is this?”

“This is Jungkook, Ma’am…” He answers, biting his lip and peering over at you because he doesn’t know if you told her about your guys’ breakup.

“Oh,” Your mother responds, her attitude rather distasteful. “Jeon Jungkook. I don’t know what’s happened between you and my daughter, but it obviously isn’t good.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll explain myself later, but Y/n has something important to tell you.” He says, walking up to you so that you can talk to your mother.

“Something important to tell me?” Your mother repeats in a concerned nature. “What? Y/n?”

When you don’t take the phone from Jungkook, he takes your hand and forces it into your palms. Your hand shakes as you bring it up to your ear, and you look at Jungkook for some reassurance, some guidance, for fucking something. Instead, he crosses his arms and motions his chin towards you, an indication of your cue to talk.

“Hey, Mama,” Your trembling voice finally addresses, but you pause there to take a gulp, an action to help you calm your nerves.

“Y/n, darling, what’s wrong?” Your mother asks.

“I have something to tell you…”

…

Jungkook comes back to your room 5 minutes later. He left once you started talking to your mother so that you can break the news privately. Though, he must admit, he was surprised to find out that you didn’t lock the door on him. You sat on the side of your bed, elbows on your knees and your head in your hands. You were currently trying to fight off the tears and reminding yourself that your miscarriage isn’t your fault. You did notice Jungkook’s presence, but you don’t do anything to acknowledge it.

“So…” Jungkook starts, wanting to break the silence. He sits down next to you. “How did it go?”

“Um, better than I expected, I guess.” You answer softly, sniffling a bit. You then shift your head a little to look at him. “I’m kind of glad I got that out of the way.”

Jungkook smiles warmly and rubs your back. “There wasn’t anything to be worried about in the first place.”

You curve your lips upwards into a small smile, knowing that he’s right. Ideally, Jungkook wants you to be a little happier about this, but he can tell that your smile is genuine so he takes it. He moves his hand from rubbing your back to giving you a side hug.

“I know we ended on bad terms, and I know we aren’t going to be getting back together -Not that I want to, anyway. You know I still lost my feelings for you, and I’m sure you don’t want to get back together with me, but…” Jungkook pauses, because at first he was rambling and he doesn’t know why he’s getting nervous now.

You lift your head off your hands and peer at him with an eyebrow perked, wondering where he was going with this. Jungkook bites his lip, and his grip on your arm tightens a little, but not enough to hurt you. He then looks into your eyes.

“I’d really like for us to be friends.” He whispers.

There was a moment of silence; You were thinking hard about his offer and it was making him regret proposing the idea in the first place.

“Yeah,” You finally answer, “I’d really like that.”

*****

Author : Yna / Am I the queen of angst yet?

All credits to the author (~♡♡)~