Have you ever have that feeling wherein you can't enter a certain relationship? I am no gamophobic. It's just that I hate to hurt people and I have this "priorities". I continuously wonder as I looked outside the company's window.

I'm Dane by the way. I am a graphic designer in a place where everything feels so monotonous. I don't know, there are times that I, myself wanting some thrills. Wanting for adventure. Wanting for so much more.

"Hey Dane Lunch time!!!" Louie called me as he approaches I can see his smile. Oh such a great friend, he never ever forgets to remind me eat.

"Where do you like to eat?"

"Anywhere is fine, as if we have other choices" I laughed. Around the company all stalls and place to eat were fastfood chains.

"Well yeah, anywhere is fine as long as I'm with you" he said. I laughed as he teases me. He always does that. I think it's part of our friendship.

"That's a lame one my dear, try again next time" I said and chuckled. But he seems off. Nah nevermind.

"Bars Louie, you can't even make little Dane blush" they teased him Well, those pick up line really doesn't have a work on me.

It's been years since he and I was friend. Both of us knew that things will be the same forever. There maybe sometimes he joke around, hold me. I mean many people mistaken he and I were you know?

"Hey I am goin to get our orders" Ahri said and she rushes to the counter.

Louie made his move. He put her arms on the back of my chair. I didn't mind. I mean he do that lot often and I am very very much used to it.

"Shocks, what took her so lon..

"Dane I like you" he cut in. "I like you for a very long time"

"eh?"

"I like when you smile, I like how hardworking you are, I like how you laugh problems away. I like you Dane. I want to be more than friends." he said. I don't know how to react or I don' t even now what he mean.

In my head it was just a continuous word saying "Wait what?".

Now I eventually and successfully organized my thoughts. And it was I don't know.

"Louie is this some sort of a joke? Because if this is, then it's not funny" I said in an irritating tone. I felt strange and I don't know what should I do.

"Dane do I look like joking?" I knkw that he was irritated. The breaking in his voice, I can assume that he was sad.

"Louie, if you are serious, I'm sorry, I can't". I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.

"Hey Louie, does that ended up well?" Ahri asked. That time I knew this was all planned.

He walked out and seems that he was not in a mood to talk about it. I feel bad for him. I guess it's my fault.

Louie and I were friends. Nothing more nothing less. I should be honest to tell that I don't want to go overboard. Stepping out in the line to help him out and save him.

Pity? Love? Care? I can't even tell the difference. Maybe I am the problem. Heart is always deceitful, a reason why I always try to be cautious somehow.

"Louie, can you help me with this pap.." he pull the paper out of my hand and soon left. I was dumbfounded. Can't he see that I am trying my best to make this 'thing' right. I just want everything to be normal

"Hey Louie, wanna go get som..."

"Ahri, let's grab a coffee" he shouted. Soon he left.

"some coffee" I whispered in the thin air. I approached him many times and I can't even count it in my bare hands. I sure am dense but I know if a person is mad at me or what. But this thinhg? This type of tag-your-it game is completely crazy.

I saw Louie enter the kitchen like room in the office. I don't what the hell is happening to me, I followed him inside. I am sure, very very sure that I am luring myself to a great danger. But it was worth the risk. He is one kf my important friends and I want to help him before it's too late.

"Louie, can you tell me what's the matter? Have I done something unpleasant to you? Tell me maybe we..." I said but I was being shut out. He pinned me in a wall. I cam hear nothing but my heart's throbbing.

Everything went slow. The room was sound proofed, no one will hear us if we shout. Did I lock the door? What will they think if they saw us like this. My mind was in complete daze. So chaotic that I can't even put it together.

"You ask me what was my problem when you are exactly the problem!" he shouted at me. Every word is spouted eventually pierce to my heart. Am I really a bother? Do everyone think that I am like that?

" I ummmm... so.. soor.rry" after so many years, I felt the same vibe they gave. I was frightened. I stuttered. I want to tell him more not just sorry.

I felt like I want to burst into tears "hold it in" I keep telling myself. This is not the first time, Dane calm down. You can do this.

"I am just afraid about the fact that you'll reject me" he continued but now his face was covered in red. An extreme tenderness was drawn in his face. Dugdug dugdug dugdug I heard it the sound of our hearts.

Slowly... nearly... I didn't know what cross his mind but slowly he was approaching me. A kiss i guess. I then want to push him but... I can't move, my body seems that it won't cooperate at all. MOVE!!!!

Closely. Breathing heavily. Our breath becoming one. I fell his hand holding my cheeks. I only watched him approached me, slowly. But unlike the other time. This was fast enough to think for a solution.

Pak!!! I slapped him in the face leaving a mark. Looking at him intently. I feel nothing but disgust. Not just to him but to myself.

"I knew it, not an easy fish in the sea. This is a goodbye then Dane" he looked at me. The sadness in his eyes, the coldness of his aura giving off. He wasn't the Louie I know before. Or maybe this is the real him...

I never thought that, that was the end. Everything was just blank and I can't explain what to feel. Impulsiveness. Unknown thoughs. Broken friendships. I wonder if it's all my fault? I'm not that beautiful anyway.

The night was long and cold. My fingertips are iced and my mind was wandering off. I thought... I thought I can't sleep but.. I'm wrong. It was a satisfying night to begin with.

Saturday was a free day for me. And just so you know, a girl like me, wasa type of girl wherein working is my passion. I don't want to call it workaholic tho. But I think it's fine. I'm Workaholic.

Well you see, I'm a part timer in a film crew. Nope, I am not an actress. I am pary of thw editing crew. The behind the scenes crew. The I-can't describe-it anymore crew. Our director was umm... I think he's kind. Professionalism never leaves him. He's great in different terms. Camera angles, emotions, editing skills, cinematography, he's awesome. I never hoped and wanted or even dared to imagine to surpass him. He is way to good. He is just ummm. how do I put it? Attitude.

"Dane? DANE!!!!" awakened by this daydream and eventually saw that Director Mikael was talking to me. And I feel like someone was staring at us. Not that bad but my gut says that it wasn't a good stare. Geezzz, too much chill in my spines.

" Sup?" I said. Unintentionally. I mean we are close? aren't we? We talked a lot about stuffs, but can we consider it as closeness? Why do I feel this weird feeling of nervousness?

"Sup? I said look at this" he said. He look so serious. And I obeyed the stuff he said. Fine. I watch it. Everything was beautifully taken. Every shot, angle, focuses everything was... perfect.

"AWESOME!!!" I exclaimed. " You are so good at this, direc" I said. He now look like a tomato. A tomato? Weird tho. " Even you can do it, ma.. maybe even better or best or I don't know, stop praising me!!!" He said. Yep proffesionalism is part of him but I do like his humbleness. I stared at him and then to his work. Can i really do such thing?

"Wait, I'll be back" he left me. And then now someone approches. " Hey senior, I see it... " she said. Missy, the scriptwriter, lot of ideas iverflowing on her mind. A lot of mystery and a lot of pain I can see in her eyes. I somehow feel that her scripts and stories were fragments of her painful past.

"See what?" I asked. She was staring at me with her wide smile. Kinda iritating and I don't know I feel that I want to burat into laughter. " Ummmm nothing, But I see it" now I am completely clueless.

" Here have some, freshen up senior, we've got a long way to go" she said and gave me a peach. A peach again? Of all the fruits why peach. Does this have any symbolism or special meaning. Arrrrghhh, that girl.