***

I was young when I fell in love with him. He was my classmate in grade school.

"Because all of you have partners already, Shane and I will be partners too," James promised with a smile on his side.

My female classmates are partners with boys. I was just quiet in my seat because I was a shy type at that time. And then,this James, he chose me. Maybe because to irritate me.I secretly admired and pretended to be angry at what he did.

"I really don't like you," I removed his hand at my shoulders at the same time.

"Huh! You react, like you don't like me. If I know you are thrilled," he said proudly.

"I also love the thickness of your face. For your information you are not that handsome for me to like. And I also do not see anything for me to like you!" I promised angrily.

But deep inside I'm already thrilled with excitement hahaha. But I will never admit to him.

Since then, i started to like him or rather had crush on him secretly..

******

"Waaahh" I shouted and hurried down the bed.

"Hey! Can you lower down your voice?!" My sister Eve 'shouted back.

"You are overreacting okay?," I shouted back.

I was just shocked that it was quarter to 6 in the morning and I went to work at 7:00 am.

I was in a hurry to go to the bathroom and viola! After 10 mins I finished.

After taking a bath, I got dressed and hurried to work.

"Hey Elle!" one of my bestfriends at work Kathy called.

"Why? If I know what you are going to say are just gossip," I complained to Her.

"Seriously," she groaned. "I just want to share with you my annoyance with this company."

"Why is there something new? You are always annoyed with this company."

"Before that, I just caught up with the HR people. And guess what? They're on hiring again," she said annoyed.

"Really? Our production is weak now, why do we need more employees?" I got annoyed with the news.

"That's why I don't understand their style".

"Oh my gosh! Early in the morning my day is ruined and I'm almost late".

"What happen?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just woke up and remembered the love I had when I was young," I said.

I told Kath about my crush when I was young. But I did not say everything, even the name she did not know. I don't want to lie but sometimes we have to do it because we know time will come and they will might accidentally meet. I don't want them to know who he really is.

"Maybe you always think of him," she raised an eyebrow.

"I object! There was a saying that 'when you dreamed of someone, an opposite thing happens. Maybe he's the one who's thinking of me." I joked.

"Wow, are you that beautiful to think of by someone? Wake up friend. I think you are still dreaming 'till now,"

'Huh, if you only knew, but erase erase because only happy moments when I was young should be remembered. The following events are not included' she said to herself.

"Yes, but what if, if we feel the same way? Chose! Just kidding," I joked with half truth.

What if we both feel the same way? What if he really likes me and i was not just a dare to him?

There are lots of "what if" I want to answer but I do not want to fool myself because I know the real score between the two of us.

"I thought you moved on with your puppy love?" She asked.

"Of course, my heart may always be weak for him but I know where to stand or my place. And then I know that he won't like me back. You know 'feeling handsome'." I answer. Sadly but true.

"That's true. We should not believe with their flowery lips".

"Correct!" Janice interrupted. Suddenly she appeared somewhere and sat on the vacant seat next to me.

"Hey, preggy! Don't just suddenly appear here like a ghost"

We have also been bestfriends for more than four years so they already know me and what character I have.

I am thankful that I had friends like them.

We are four bestfriends,Thalia Enriquez, Kathy Moriss, Janice Suarez, and yours truly Elle Shane Quinn at your service.

"Ghost? Really Elle huh? Isn't it pretty piggy?" She said after laughing heartily. See? A crazy piggy, maybe.

"Why should I? You're not pretty" I teased her.

"Whatever Elle, if you will got pregnant and the hole in your ugly nose grows, I just don't know. You might be uglier than me," said Janice

"The question is, when will that happen? She doesn't even have a boyfriend in the first place," Kathy said.

"Wow, look who's talking. Another human girl who doesn't have a boyfriend is reacting. Hey Kathy girl, we were just the same loveless so don't me," i teased her.

"Hep hep, we're not the same. Take note, atleast I had a boyfriend and you never," she added and even emphasized the word 'had'.

Of course i had. But it's not counted though.

"Ouch! It hurts you know," I act as if i was hurt.

"Truth hurts my friend" Kathy said.

I was struck by what she said. It's true that truth hurts, so maybe until now I still get hurt every time I remember what happened before.

Even though I tried to erase it, my friends always reminded me. Oh well, no one knows about him. All they knew was about my crush in gradeschool. And not what happened after then.

"It's better to start looking for that, later," Janice suggested.

"That's right, you can go and hunt with one of those trainees. You can definitely date at least one of them," Kathy agreed.

"Nice suggestions from you two huh? It really helps," I joked. "What do you think of me guys? A desperate one?".

"It's not like that, maybe just hehehe," kathy joked.

"Morning guys," Thalia interrupted the topic. "Why are you serious? Is there anyone new pregnant in the group ?," she asked innocently.

"No one, okay? It's just that Janice advised Elle for a boy hunting later." Kating explained.

"That's good. There are lots of good looking guys in the new trainees," she screamed as if not a married one.

"You screamed like a single lady," I reacted.

"Even though I am married that does not mean that I have no rights to appreciate God's creation," she explained.

"Yeah, yeah. But we have to go.It's only five minutes before we finish breaktime," she interrupted and looked at her watch.

"I'll see you again here at our lunchtime" I said goodbye to them.

We went out of the canteen together and went to our workplace. Janice and Thalia are in the same workplace. While me and kathy were on the same team also.

"It's a headache for new trainees, since most of us are the same age and they don't listen very well and they don't focus too much," Kathy complained when they went home already.

She got assigned to train some of the trainees.

"Maybe you were too soft to them? Why don't you show your dragon side?" I suggested.

"Yes, and if they still don't want to listen, just light a fire and turn them into ashes! Problem over right?" Thalia added.

"Yeah, and after that ---" Janice suddenly said something else.

"Hey pregnant? Are you okay?" I woke her up.

"Girls!" She said suddenly.

"Do you see what I see ?," she said as if still dreaming.

"Hey crazy, shut up there. Are you crazy already? Or because you are pregnant you can be like that," I turned to her.

"Hahaha," she suddenly laughed.

"This preggy woman has lost her sanity," Kathy reacted.

"Girls, relax ok? You're too hot eh. I should just be hot here that suits another hot one," she added.

"It's really hot, the sun is still high oh. Why don't we have OT? It's still too hot now" Thalia said.

"That's not what I mean. What I mean is, I saw a hot one, I think the hunk is more appropriate. Straight eyes guys' don't go anywhere just in front of us oh," she turned to us while pointing with the snout.

We all followed the person she pointed out to us.

I stopped walking while looking at him. And he turned right in our direction.

"Yeah right? Wait and he's looking at us" Kathy commented.

We just kept walking and I just quietly followed them. I can't react, 'don't know what to say don't know what to do. My brain cells went block.

I don't know why in so many places that will might meet, why outside the company I work for? How did he know i worked here?

"And guys until now he was still looking at us. I didn't expect that even though my stomach was obvious, someone could still be fascinated by my beauty bwahahahha," Janice said laughing like crazy.

"Hormones guys, so let's just let the pregnant woman dream," Kathy said with a laugh.

"Why are you quite, Elle?" Thalia commented to me.

"Huh?" I suddenly turned to her.

"I said, you're quite" she repeated.

"Nothing" i lied.

"You suddenly fell silent there, is there a problem?" Kathy asked.

"Nothing, just thinking," I excused.

I pretended I did not see him. And when he was in front of us I turned my eyes in the other direction. When suddenly he said those words that stopped me.

I stiffened in my position with fists clenched and I angrily looked into the distance.

My friends also stopped and looked at me in amazement as if asking a question.

I said nothing when I heard him speak again.

"I'm sorry, and I was hoping that you could spare a little time with me. I just want us to talk. Please?" He pleaded.

I did not turn around and continued walking.

"Please Shane?" He asked again. But i just keep walking as if i didn't hear anything. My friends just followed along.

"Aww," my three friends said at the same time. They followed me at the same time.

"What does he mean? Do you know him Elle ?," Thalia asked seriously.

I did not answer her and I just kept walking.

I did not answer because I did not know what to say to them and I was not ready to talk about him.

"I'll spare you for now, but you must tell us everything when you are ready. Well always be here for you and ready to listen. Remember that," I just nodded to Kathy.

We said goodbye to each other.

"'I didn't know you knew a hunk," janice said. Thalia kicked her when she noticed my face was serious.

I stare blankly at the emptiness. Slightly smiling as I feel the heartache. I shouldn't have been because I tried to erase it but now it is back.

I lay down on the bed and secretly cried. I tried to go back to the past which caused a lot of pain and a big scar on my heart.

The past is the reason I have trust issues.

I'm not angry, I'm just in pain.

It may be hard to forgive but it's harder to ease the pain and just forget.

****Flashback *****

The admiration I felt for him intensified until we went to high school.

The crush I thought was turned into love. I never thought that i would fall for him that harder.

Maybe you can say it's too early to say I'm in love with him, but i really do. And that feelings never fade, never change, even when we go to college. Even though we are different in school, I could still see him because they are friends with my brother.

And that's how our story starts.

It was Sunday when he went home and as usual I was hiding in my room. And he disturbed me.

"Shane" he called me once knocking on my door. I did not answer because I was still picking up my spirit because of the suddenness.

But i compose myself as i regain it and answer him like a normal person should be.

"Why?" I ask.

"Come out for a moment".

"Why? I'm busy" I lied.

Because I'm not ready to face him, my gosh! I haven't had a bath yet!

"I will not leave until you come out, I will say something for a moment" he insisted.

I straightened my hair before opening the door.

"Why?" I immediately asked. "Are you drunk? You smell like wine".

"I'm not drunk, i just drink a little" he acknowledged.

"You are not drunk but you can't stand straigt anymore oh".

"Ay_sshhh. I have something to say, right?".

"What is it then? So i can continue what I do".

"I like you".

_ _ ?? _ _ ??.

I could not understand what he was saying. Like what? For real? Oh my gosh! My heart beat faster. I try to calm myself down.

"Do you know what you are saying?" I said angrily.

"I know what I'm doing, and I know what I'm saying. I know you are shocked but you can think about it later as long as I've said what I want to tell you."

I could not speak immediately and just stared at him. It was as if I had swallowed my own tongue.

"All right then. I'll go home now, think about it." He reminded.

I went back to bed, now what? Is what he said true? Or just because he's drunk? Ahhhhhh .... I don't know what I will do tomorrow, it will be awkward.

It was as if my heart was bursting with excitement. Huhu how should i do tomorrow? I can't face him, he might notice my feelings for him.

I was anxious to go to school the next day.

"Shaneeeee !!!" Nice meet me with more screams.

"What's wrong? You look like crazy?" I asked.

"Do you? Fo you really have a lover you didn't even say? What is this? Are we going to be secretive?" She asked.

She was actually my cousin and we happened to have the same course so we are still together.

"What lover?" I asked here.

"That!" She pointed to my chair. Flowers? Wherebdid this come from? Maybe they just gave me a good time.

"What's that trick Nice?".

"When we arrive, it's already there ?."

"Do you really have a boyfriend? I thought? Are you NBSB?" Brina asked softly, but Brian was really the real name of that gay friend of mine.

"I don't have a lover and even more so I don't have a boyfriend, maybe the person who put that was wrong".

"But it has your name in it" Nice insisted. "And then there is a letter, Hope you thought about what I said yesterday, take care and see you soon.JD." she read.

What? He gave the flower? Really crazy, what can I say to them?

"It's just a joke". She recognized.

"Tsk..tsk.... all right, we won't tease you anymore, but tell me later when we go out, huh?"

"But there's nothing for me to say".

I thought he was just drunk and didn't even mean it.

But he lasted for a few months and we have not met since that scene because he has been busy at school.

Until someone texted me and said we would meet.

I nervously entered a restaurant. My chest throbbed even harder when I saw him waving at me. I immediately approached it.

"Thank you and you accepted my invitation" he said together and pulled me to a chair.

I just smiled in response to him.

"It's been 3 months since I confess with you" it began. "It only took a while before I showed up to you because I was also busy at school. But I hope in those days you thought about it. Im serious, I have liked you for a long time. And that's how i become friends with your brother "his long explanation.

It took me a long time to recover. I nervously stared at him. Dugdugdug, shit! My heart. I might faint.

"Are you surprised?" He asked.

" I don't know how to start, or what I'm going to tell you. It's very awkward, and then I don't know that you are serious about what you said" I replied nervously.

"Believe me, I've never been this serious. But I come to you seriously" he said sincerely. I shudder.

"Shane" he said as he took my hand. "Can I be your boyfriend ?," he promised with a smile.

Not only my hands are shaking but also my flesh hahaha..shit meme ... my hair is long hahaha ....

"The truth is I've been wanting you for a long time" I said shyly. "But I would also like to ask you something," I said shyly.

"So, is it a yes then?" He asked with a smile.

"Uuhhmm, yes !," I replied with a smile. "Just promise no one will know this first," I added.

"Really? Oh my god! You don't know how happy I am" and he suddenly hugged me.

I am happy that there is a response of my love for him. I thought there was no response, but look! He's my boyfriend now. Who would have thought? It all seems like a dream.

"Wait, it's embarrassing for people here in the restaurant. You can't tell it to anyone. Maybe later when we graduate".

"Why? I'm proud to tell them and I waited for this day". He complained.

"Just promise me, nothing will know, ok?" I convinced him.

"Ok, if that's what you want. The important thing is that you are mine now," he said. My heart flatters.

"I love you" he said with a very sweet smile.

"I love you too" I replied with prim and proper posture. Trying to hold my giggles. But I really want to shout how much I love him.

I really want to sing 🎶 queen of the night, cause i am the queen of the night oh yeah oh yeahhhhhh🎶. I just didn't continue, maybe he'll take back his love hahaha ..

After our dinner we held hands and went out to the nearby park and there we spent time, talking. Talking about ourselves and the that we fall for each other.

It had been three months since I had answered James, and during those three months was the happiest day for me.

Even though we only met secretly, I was still happy. Cause we make everything worth it.

Sometimes my friends also notice that something has changed but my mouth is still shut. When we graduate, I will tell them and I know they'll be shocked. Who would have thought that I could fall in love with a hearthrob with someone as simple like me.

My graduation comes! I studied Hotel Management while he goes for Engineering. And I bought gifts for him and I intend to give it to him. I heard from my brother that they were going to have a drink at his house.

While holding the paper bag, I hurried down the road to their house. I bought a couple bracelet with our name written on it. I also plan to tell my friends now but since my older brother is also here, it's ok that they will be the first to know. I want to surprise him, so he didn't know that i was coming.

But I was the one who was surprised by what I heard. My brother Anton and Robi talked.

"How is your sister Shane, Anton?" Asked Robi who is a friend of my brother and James. They were the only two at the table, maybe James just went somewhere.

The plants that i was hiding are lush so I will not be seen immediately.

"She's fine, why?" Asked my older brother.

"Don't tell James, huh?" He said, while looked from side to side

I listened to it nervously.

"Last time when we had a drink at your house, we had a bet" said Robi.

"Bet? What bet?".

"We bet Shane to fall for him." I could not believe what I heard. It was as if I had fallen into a deep well. I clenched my fist, as my tears flowed freely.

The pain, it seems, breaks my heart. I cried uncontrollably. I can't believe what I've just heard.

Bet, that's all I am for him. All along i thought he loved me as much as I loved him. The pain hurts. I wiped my tears and tried to be calm.

"Hahahaha, Shane? She's harder than a rock. I don't think she'll fall for him."I heard my older brother.

"You think so? But until now, he didn't say anything".

"Maybe it's because he lost? Hahaha. But seriously, I don't like that idea. She's still my sister and you are my friend" my brother said. Somehow the pain felt was reduced.

She did not want to look miserable in front of them so she just left. It was as if she wad floating on the ground, while walking home. She did not care about the heat of the sun, because he felt even more pain now than the sun.

What a day !.

When I got home, I immediately went into the room and there I continued to cry.

I have poured out all the grief I feel. Eyes are swollen with tears all day. My mom knocked at night for dinner but I didn't say anything to make her think I was sleeping.

Until our graduation day I was still silent, I did not reply to him and I did not answer his calls. And every time my older brother talks to me about him, I cut him off, I don't want to hear anything about him first.

Our happy graduation have been like a hill to me. I can't smile in front of the camera no matter how hard i try. They thought I was just sad because we were going to separate, but the truth is it is more than that.

That same night he came to my house.

"Shane, James is outside" her older brother called.

I didn't want to talk to him but I thought it might be time for me to be clear. So I went out to talk to him.

"Shane" he said when he saw me.

"Do we have a problem? Why don't you answer my calls and txt?".

"We? Why? Do we have any?" I laughed. Trying to hide the pain.

We were outside the house so I could only speak softly.

"What are you saying?" He asked.

"Tell me, did you bet on me?" I boldly asked him while I did not look away from him. He did not immediately answer. Silence means yes right? Haha it hurts even more than my mother's beating.

"Shane, where did_ _ _ ??".

"So, it's true?" I interrupted.

"Please i can explain everything_ _ _".

"No need, you don't have to expalin i got it and i want to end this bullsh * ts here" i said in a sobbed.

"Please don't do this to me" he pleaded.

"I'm done, and I don't want to hear your explanation anymore because everything is clear. So just go home and don't com back or evwn text me, because this game is over."I said and I hurried into the room.

"Is there a problem?" My older brother asked me when he saw me crying.

"I'm fine," i answer.

******End of flashback ******

After that scene we never saw each other again. I left to look for a job while I heard he went to the states and finished his studies.

I cried again when I remembered the past. Even if it's been 5 years, the scars are still fresh for me.

******

Because I fell asleep early in the morning so I woke up late. And i was not able to eat my breakfast.

When she arrived at the workstation, Kathy immediately approached her.

"We have new Engineers, and they're all good looking, guys." She told me.

"Wow! Good looking. And it really came from you Kathy, huh?" I reacted to her.

"I thought you don't like men?" Janice said.

"In a relationship but I know how to appreciate the creation of god." She defended herself.

"I thought only Koreans in a drama appreciates you?" Said Thalia.

"They're also handsome! What will i do? If they captured my delicate heart?" She said passionately.

"You are so corny" I replied. "The time is so long." I complained while looking at my watch. "I'm hungry huhuhu".

"That's what happen to late comers . You should take me for ecamples, even if I'm pregnant i'm always early. I'm always 1hour ahead of time." said Janice.

"It's 9:30am still. You should ask your stomach worms to wait more longer." Thalia laughed.

"You don't want to take a break?" She asked them.

"I'm full". Janice complained holding her stomach. They just looked at Janice and they didn't comment anymore. Because it is obvious that it is still full. Actually full even more.

At 10 am she was one of those who hurried out to the canteen. She hurriedly walk because they only had a 10mins break.

She needs to eat rice. Bread alone can not satisfy his hunger and their lunchbreak is 12 noon.

She was distracted by groups of engineers sitting at the far end. Because they laugh so hard  and they maybe think they are the only people.

She would have ignored them when he heard one of them mention the name James.

She turned to them.

She stopped walking and her eyes widened staring at the person he was referring to.

She was dazzled.

'Why is he here and why is he with our engineers ?. She just ignore it afterwards. And didin't pay more attention with him.

She tried to ignore what she saw and continued to get food. She  only have  6mins more so she had to hurry.

"I heard that one of our new engineers are from the states" said Thalia.

"And where did you heard those gossips?" Kathy asked.

"I heard the HR people talking about them." Thalia said.

"Wow really? I'm excited to meet him."Kathy said.

I just quietly listened to them. I still absurb everything. I can't imagine that we will meet here again. After all these years that I was quietly inside, he suddenly appeared.

After 5 years we meet again. How ironically, I am an HM grad but I work in a production and he is an engineer but in this feild.

"Why are you silent now?" Kathy commented.

"I'm just sleepy" she reasoned.

"Do you still not want to talk about the guy, last Monday?". Janice asked.

"I don't want to keep secrets from you guys but I still don't want to talk about him" she explained.

"We will wait until you are ready to talk about that". Thalia said.

"Thank you" was her short answer.

The day passed quickly it's been 1 week already since the last time I saw him.

"Listen guys" their TL calls attention to them. "Today our engineers will do rounds and to show our new engineers this work area. And those who are assigned in machines please, don't ever make mistakes. No talking no roaming arounds, is that clear?"

"Yes TL" they all answered.

She stand up straight when they entered. She was nervous trying to focus. Why did she has to be assigned to the machine today.

Even though the aircon was strong, she was still sweating profusely. Maybe he won't notice me, because she is wearing a bunnysuit that only his eyes can see.

When they were near with her, she just focused on the machine. She did not even look back when they passed by.

She was thankful that she was not asked to do a demo and their engineer just explain it to him, whatever it was for.

When she thought they were gone she turned around. Which is a wrong move. She met his stares. He looked at her intently. In a serious way.

She immediately turned her gaze to her machine.

She became alert when they're about to leave from work. Those stares of him earlier are telling her something. She guess that he might be outside the company, waiting. But she's afraid to met him. Her heart might betray her.

And she made no mistake, he was outside the gate and leaning on his car.

She immediately pulled his friends to the other side of the road.

The pregnant woman immediately complained. "Elle it's hot on this side. Why won't we just stay there on the other side".

"It's not too hot," she excused herself. "And then it's over crowded on that side so we'll stay here" she excused.

"I have an umbrella here Janice, if you want" Kathy offered.

"No thanks, i'm too tired to hold it."

She secretly glanced at the other side. And he does not notice them.

****

Meanwhile.

**

'It's been more than an hour but Shane still hasn't left the company' James thought. I'll just wait for her the next day. I still have a lot of times, he reminded himself.

When he arrived home, his Mom Sherie greeted him immediately. He was adopted by her so he was very grateful to them. He was 15 years old when the couple adopted him.

And he will do everything to at least reciprocate everything it has given him.

"How's the company?" She asked immediately.

"Doing good and everything is perfect. I was able to inspect everything and roam every department as their new engineer of course" he said proudly here.

"You know that you can do more than that. You can have the company if you wanted, and not their engineers only." she reminded.

"Mom" he softly hugged her. "You know that i want to do it on my own. I want them to acknowledge my capability not because I'm your son but because I can."

"If that's what you want. By the way your father keeps on reminding me about this coming holiday, he wants us to be there".

"I'm not sure if i can. We're kind of busy this coming weekend. We have a new model orders and i need to be there."

"That's what i said before. Once you start your job in the company, you'll start to forget me. You know how important this is to your father".

"He'll understand. I'll talk to him."

"Ok if that's what you want." She surrendered.

After their small talked. He went upstairs.

5 years have passed. Still, Shane is still the one he wants. She is the only one that he wants after all those years. And now that he's back, he'll make sure to make her fall again. He made mistake once and he already paid for it by losing her. And now by hook or by crook he is going to have her no matter what.

'Is she still single?'. He asked himself.

I hope so, because I can't see her with anyone else.

He and his mother returned to their hometown. They want him to take over their business. They are the owners of one of the largest camera manufacturing companies.

He wants to study all the ins and outs first before accepting his father's offer.

But he never thought that Shane was working for their company. He thought that she'll be managing one of those biggest hotels in their town once they'll met again. But fate brings him to her.

He wanted to know everything about her since they separated. He was just embarrassed to ask her older brother because of what had happened before. And he knows that Anton already knew what he did to his sister......

******