.(1) It is a word that means déjà vu.

It is a sensation that a memory has happened before, even though it has never been experienced in reality.

My life was full of . But mine is different from what déjà vu normally is – rather, it felt more like this “never happened before”.

My name is Lycoris Radiata. I just turned 6 years old. I am often told that my way of talking is not like a child. In impressions as well, rather than being called “cute”, the compliment that is usually given to me is “grown up”. Even though in my opinion, “cute” is the universal compliment for a child.

My social position is also remarkable – I was a duke’s daughter.

My mother, who died long before I could make sound judgement, had a lot of portraits that were left of her. Although she was very beautiful, she looked like she would have been a cold woman. My father, who is a duke, constantly travels to foreign countries due to his work. He rarely returns home. However, since there are a lot of servants and tutors at home, I never feel lonely.

Since I am often praised on how good my memory is, I have often thought that it was my special skill. But when I carefully think about my memories like this, a sense of discomfort swells up.

Wrong. Wrong, absolutely wrong – there’s definitely something wrong, my heart would cry out. But “what” that something was, I don’t know.

This unexplainable uncertainty within me, I resolved to consult with a sensible adult.

The person who I chose, a familiar adult who I trusted deeply, was my wet nurse. When I confided to her my troubles with clumsy words, my nanny’s eyes widened her wrinkled eyes and said, “Oh my…”

She was bewildered for a while, and with a stunned expression she replied. “My lady, what you told me is too difficult for me to understand, is a word that I am not accustomed to hearing”

—-Come to think of it…

Where did the word come from? How come I know that word? I thought that was used in writing before, but from which country’s language did this come from?

The result of my resolve ended up with more questions that further increased my confusion.

From then on, I eagerly began reading books. I sought the answers to my question from the wisdom of my ancestors. Aside from eating, sleeping, and studying, I spent nearly all my time reading.

Absorbed with reading a variety of books and having no interest in playing childish games, I was unaware of the divided opinions inside the Duke’s mansion on whether “Our lady is a genius” or whether “Our lady is crazy”.

Around this time, I formed the habit of wrinkling my eyebrows. Exhaustive worry and overworked eyes are most likely the reason.

I don’t like being a six-year-old.

Several years have passed since I started a life of indiscriminate reading. To what was called that brought incomprehensible discomfort, one answer was brought forth.

An unforgettable day happened, just before my tenth birthday.

On this day, I heard about my fiancé from my father.

「Hey… It’s been a while, hasn’t it, my little princess」

The teeth grinding greeting came from my father. The duke of Lilia was that kind of person.

「It seems you are well, Father」

While giving a greeting unlike that of a child to a parent, I stared at my father’s face motionlessly.

With combed slick back hair that had combined colors of gold and brown, the impression of a baby-face could not be wiped off from his face.

Only having hit thirty years old, with a presence  more like a young nobleman than a duke, the impression that he was my father is weak.

It’s not as if I’m questioning my blood relation to him. It’s just that the time we talk as parent and child is too little.

With majority of the year spent outside the country, on those rare occasions he comes back, however, he’s the type of father that will bring souvenirs without fail. It’s hard to say whether this person thought about his actual daughter or not.

Brightly giving endearing words to his daughter, there wasn’t a chance this father was anywhere reserved.

This situation, which was explained based on the souvenirs, looks as if he enjoys spending time with his daughter.

However the other party, as a duke, displays competency in diplomacy. The subtle emotions of a young lady probably wouldn’t get past him. Is that really a heart-felt smile? Or is it a trick he learned due to sociability? …Or could it be that I had over-analyzed it too much?

There is one thing that I can say about my father,『I don’t know whether I dislike him or not』.

That same father, while smiling and laughing, held out a hand gesturing me to sit on the sofa.

「I came to tell you great news」

Once he began the introduction, with a few words, my normal everyday life collapsed.

「Your fiancé has been oficially decided. That person is Viscount Wolfgang Eisenhut. Duke Ranuncula’s first born child. His heir. I borrowed a recent painting of him」

When my father mentioned it, a butler that was at the side of the wall came out with an oil painting, taking several steps closer so that the painting was easily visible.

「What do you think? He’s a pretty boy, isn’t he? Tomorrow is your first meeting with him. I’m certain you’ll like him」

My father’s voice seemed far away, as my gaze was glued to the picture.

Today, my everyday life until that point and the life that I had hoped, in one morning, shattered. This was by no mean an exaggeration.

Wolfgang Eisenhut.

When I heard that particular name, something flashed through my eyes. It felt like I had just awoken – the feeling as if I was stumbling through the dark and then suddenly given light.

Déjà vu. The strange knowledge. Everything was connected.

That déjà vu was my 『former life』.  The knowledge was also gained from my 『former life』.

The name, Wolfgang Eisenhut, was also included that memory. Embracing a woman with soft golden hair, the grown up version of the young man in the portrait whom I had just laid eyes on, came to mind.

Rather than saying it was an accurate portrait, it looked like it was actually a still picture from the game.

Frankly, if you want to form this situation into a phrase…

It seems like I got reincarnated with some of the memory from a previous life.

Inside the world of a yandere otome game.

Furthermore, my position was the rival character of the golden haired heroine. And there was a death route available for me.

This is bad.

In more than one way.

The reincarnation part is okay. I loved reading those kinds of stories.

But, why was it a world of a yandere otome game of all things?

As a game player, if you get in contact with a capturable character, whether it be a Tsundere or a Yandere, it wouldn’t be scary. But, in real life, you wouldn’t ever want to meet a Yandere.

You might be able to endure the cutting words that a Tsundere brandishes, but would you be able to endure a kitchen knife that a Yandere brandishes? Absolutely not.

No, actually the kitchen knife was just my imagination. In the game, there was no scene like that.

In any case, when confronting a Yandere, an LCD screen was the strongest shield required. Seriously.

Even more, if the heroine doesn’t have any special skills to compensate, if for example, a Yandere appears as an obstructive supporting character, it’s no different from being in the same league as when you encounter a zombie. Give me a shotgun!

No – I wouldn’t really shoot though.

I’ll say it again.

This is bad.

(1) She first used the japanese term, “kishikan”. Before using the french word “deja vu”. When she consulted with her nurse, she used the latin word and that resulted in the confusion.

Telling my father a suitable excuse (the contents of which I couldn’t remember), I withdrew to my room to clear my muddled thoughts.

If I believe the sudden memories that overflowed within me, then I have just obtained the memories of my past life.

Are these… really memories from my previous life, or are these just well-thought out fantasies? With these questions, a practical answer was brought out. That is, when the time comes, and I end up getting my foot stuck from going forward because I couldn’t see, then at that time, I’ll stop.

In the meantime, I decided to believe in myself. These were my memories from a previous life.

The “me” from my previous life was an office lady that was from Japan. In the administration division of a small company, I would stare at numbers and grappling with the photo-copying machine everyday. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a lover. But if I could have had 3 – no, 5 more years, I would have had an incredibly electrifying romance.

— is what I like to believe.

I died due to a traffic accident. If it was painful or if it was scary, I was fortunate enough not to remember. But I did remember feeling frightened when I saw myself about to get struck by a car. At that time, I felt like I received a huge shock, but now, it felt like the incident happened much too fast.

Dying earlier than my parents might make me a person who lacks respect to her own family. But I’m fortunate enough to have siblings that will take care of my parents in their later years, so I have nothing to worry about.

Although I might incline my head from doubt to most claims that something could be achieved in a person’s short span of life, I did believe that living life to the fullest would grant eternal peace.

On a different note, since a while ago, the thoughts that came flowing naturally before has started making my head hurt when I got more details. When I overworked the limited operations of my nerves, an unpleasant feeling overwhelmed me.

Thanks to that, I could only remember a few detail about each individual’s life. In spite of that, strangely enough, I could vividly remember the few details about them. For example, how I used to play a game… that had those characters.

Wiping my head with a handkerchief to cool down from a fever that broke out, I found myself standing. (1) In front of the full length mirror, an actor half its size looked to be also standing.

It feels uncomfortable finding myself reflected in the mirror, and it might be because I know the reason why. Oddly, and without hesitating, I had the urge to face my own reflection.

A girl in a crimson dress stared back at me. When I raised my hand, the girl in the mirror raised her own. And when I pulled at the corners of my lip, the girl in the mirror also made a firmly funny-looking face.

Black hair and white skin under a monotone color scheme and, whether it was painted on or not, red lips and cheeks that attracted attention. With that, the name “Snow White”, from my past life came to mind, but the projection in the mirror did not feel like the princess in the fairy tale story. What I mean is, not only did I have a pair of slightly intense-looking upturned eyes, I also had – although it’s small – a mole under one eye.

The crimson dress, which was far from the impression of cute and refreshing, might also be a contributing factor. It seems like it is the image color for the Lilia household. Almost all the dresses that come out of the wardrobe also appeared to be of this color.

Although I filled my smile with charm as much as I could, I felt extremely embarrassed, so I stopped.

（With this appearance, even in the game… laughing didn’t fit this image）

The game’s Lycoris Radiata. The『Me』- no, let us call her『That girl』- that girl was the heroine’s rival, or to be exact, the villain of the game.

Incidentally, when Wolfgang Eisenhut and the heroine became involved in a youthful love, she was the obstacle that had to be climbed over.

Appearing as Wolfgang Eisenhut’s fiancée, she was known to rampage aggressively. She, who had an unusual obsession over her family-chosen fiancé, injured the heroine with her relentless bullying, carried out many acts of intimidation, and even used self-injury to get her way. A truly frightening woman. She was, as some might call, a yandere.

But then, she wasn’t the only yandere in the game. The male character, Wolfgang, was also of the same sort. Furthermore, the heroine’s other love interests’ all had yandere tendencies as well.

（The game’s title was… huh?）

Somehow, I couldn’t remember it. And to think, I could remember the game’s content so well.

How weird. I had the feeling it certainly wasn’t Japanese, I wonder if my catastrophic English proficiency was to blame.

Despite agonizing over that fact for a while, I felt like my head was sluggish and heavy. For some reason, I couldn’t clear my head, so I decided to give up.

In any case, because there were all sorts of developments and violent actions in it, the game was given an adult rating.

Way before its release, there were a lot of discussion over it. The director and main scenario writer was a shotacon who loved yandere.（Even when he was a novelist, he was known to write those kinds of stories）Additionally, the person responsible for the sub scenario gave users a lot of psychological damage, showing that he was also the type to enjoy writing those stories. And among other things, the person who was previously in charge of the endings had a habit of adding in the cruelest of bad endings.

Considering these, the advertised text, which was released earlier than the game’s title, was 『More and more… you’ll want to be killed』

The actual『Lycoris Radiata』and the me now were two completely different people, so this sales message was unthinkable. Although the『you』referred in the message was definitely the game’s heroine, it could’ve referred to Lycoris, as she was subsequently and swiftly killed.

I could vividly remember a portion of that ending.

After Lycoris harmed the heroine, she ended up getting killed by Wolfgang; Then he and the heroine ran away and led a fugitive life. Burdened with a high social standing, he, who didn’t trust even his own family and bounded with obligations, threw everything away so that he could be together alone with his beloved person. A merry bad ending.

That is what I absolutely want to avoid.

Not only did I die, I also burned myself out in that hopeless sense of love. On top of that, I definitely don’t want to become a hurtful human that could only harm everyone around her.

Lycoris might have been just a supporting character in the game, but, right now, I am the brilliant and sparkling hero of my life. The one and only lead.

Adding to my determination, I glared at the mirror. I will definitely find happiness.

But – just as I was about to conclude things after organizing the information, Father’s words came back to me in a flashback.

「Tomorrow is your first meeting with him. I’m certain you’ll like him」

First meeting. With whom, you say?

Your fiancé.

The fellow that could possibly kill you in the future, that’s who.

Blood quickly drained from my entire body. All of a sudden, the situation went downhill.

(1)知恵熱 – teething fever; developmental fever, fever that brings with it an intellectual or psycho-developmental growth spurt

Just in case, I made an effort to avoid the situation.

When I visited my father for the second time, I resorted to playing the part of duke’s weak daughter with all my might. Saying things like: I don’t want to meet my fiancé, tomorrow’s meeting is way too soon, and『Rather than hate, I’m afraid of meeting him 』, I appealed with tear-filled eyes of which, weren’t part of the act.

「In any case, if you don’t meet the person, you wouldn’t know whether you’ll dislike him, right? Since I’ll be coming along, I’m sure it’ll be fine. For now, just go to sleep.」

That’s right. I’ll go back. This is what an adult does.(1)

And so on the next day, in a horse-drawn carriage that rocked to and fro, I headed to my fiancé’s residence, Duke Ranuncula’s mansion, to meet him.

I heard the trip would usually take around ten days or more with a carriage.

What played a big part in the shortened voyage was the teleportation tower. As a fairly large-scale magical tower, it was indispensable as a continental long-range transportation.

We jumped from the lone teleportation tower in the Dukedom of Lilia to the – similarly – only tower in the Dukedom of Ranuncula. With that, the ten-day trip was reduced to half a day.

That ten-day trip sounded nicer.

Moreover, if we arrived at the destination of a lifetime, it would’ve been even better.

That was my current state of mind.

Nevertheless, time was too cruel for being too quick, I thought, as I stepped out of my carriage and into the battlefield without so much as a plan.

（I screwed up……）

As I down on the soft chair at the reception area, regret swiftly overcame me.

Sitting beside me, my father, who noticed my terrible complexion, recommended a warm drink. However, feeling like it wouldn’t likely pass through my throat, I declined.

When I say “screw up”, I mean about the fact that from night till morning, I was anxious about various things and as a result, didn’t get any rest at all. I could’ve had some time to sleep in the quiet carriage, but instead, I had stared out the window in order to escape reality.

If the engagement doesn’t follow through, I can at least rest easy – It would be nice if my physical condition improves after I come back from this place.

No use crying over spilled milk, is the maxim I reflected on as I waited. Soon after, a knock resounded across the room.

In accordance, my father stood up and greeted the person who entered.

With hair mixed with white, the person who entered the room with brisk movement, was a good-natured old man. Next to him, with glossy black hair, was a young boy.

I intentionally cleared any expression from my gaze. It was the proper behavior for a lady when being introduced to another person. Although, it might not seem proper for a child.

When the gentleman finished exchanging greetings with my father, he immediately turned his gaze towards me.

「Let me introduce you, Duke Ranuncula. This is my daughter, Lycoris. Lycoris. This is his excellency, Duke Ranuncula」

Introducing the duke to me, and vise versa with very concise words, my father pulled me forward. Naturally, I ended up directly facing the gentleman.

「It is an honor meeting you. My name is Lycoris Radiata.」

After ending my bow, I spotted a gentle smile on his face. His eyes, which were very clear but in a shade similar to when peering into a deep deep ocean, crinkled in a smile.

Compared to my father, Duke Ranuncula was much older; he should be close to around fifty years old. His old age was evident from the visible wrinkles on his face and hands.

「Yes, it’s nice to meet you too – but having said that, I’ve already met you when you were a baby though」The duke said with a light-hearted tone before kissing the back of my hand. His white speckled grey mustached traced over my hand, tickling the thin skin.

When I mentioned that, the corners of the duke’s eye wrinkled even further. After sharing a good laugh together, our short conversation ended.

「You grew up to be quite charming that you surprised me. Although, you got the hair and eye color from your mother, you definitely inherited the shape of your eyes from your father」

With those words that voiced the similarity between my father and I, my father became a bit flustered and returned it with a “I’m often told that”.

As for me, I became unnerved for being called “charming”, a compliment that I was unaccustomed to hearing.

「But you don’t look so well. It seems like you’re exhausted from the long journey. Is it your first time riding a carriage for such a long distance? 」

Worry and sympathy filled his light blue eyes. Then he placed a warm hand on my shoulder and with a gentle voice said「It’s okay to sit down」, as he urged me to do so.

「I-I’m alright. It’s better if I stand or walk, at least I can get distracted…」

In vain, I stuttered an answer.

「As I thought, it was because I asked you to come here. I’m really sorry」

「No!　Uhm… I like going to new places. It was refreshing to get to view the sea in a large town. And I got to see the windmills at the main roads, it was very interesting to get to see the sights for the first time… ah – no, what I mean is, today, I was incredibly happy to be invited here」

When I finished giving him nothing but greetings, I felt ashamed because it ended up turning into a weird babble. It was unusual for me to be jittery like this.

Thankfully, Duke Ranuncula looked happy as he smiled and laugh asking me to describe to him the shape of the windmills.

Seeing him listening to my story attentively, I was astonished from the bottom of my heart.

With a sincere smile on his face, this was our country’s prime minister.

This country was a monarchy – under the noble royal family stood five dukedoms. Among them were the Dukedom of Ranuncula and my very own, the Dukedom of Lilia, and so the standing of a prime minister was established within the nobility.

With that standing, and my bias that he was above all 『That yandere man’s father』, I didn’t expect that he would turn out to be a good-natured man. It was very rude of me. I shall reflect on it.

That Prime minister-sama(2), said「Your hunger for knowledge is truly a remarkable talent」with a smile that couldn’t be mistaken for anything but joy.

Honestly, I felt my heart throb.

How much did it throb? Well, it was so much that I momentarily forgot the existence of the yandere – I mean, my fiancé, next to him.

Father, who stood behind me, cleared his throat, and I finally recalled the purpose of this visit.

I sent a sidelong glance to the young boy next to Prime Minister-sama.

「I’m terrible sorry. Lycoris, let me introduce you to my son」

Prime Minister-sama’s big hands guided the ten-year old, Wolfgang Eisenhut to stand forward; the boy gave the barest of greeting,「Best regards」with his eyes on the floor.

With a「Same here」returned to him, our conversation was cut off.

The atmosphere in the room grew dead silent, causing the two adults to grow anxious.

「Our conversation will be complicated」

「Lycoris, why don’t you take my son to the gardens?」

With a sudden『Go take a stroll…』, the two ten-year old children were thrown out to the gardens.

This wasn’t what you’d expect from a scheme made by an appointed minister who supports a country – Honestly, this was a poor plan.

First of all, the two adults should’ve soften it up by bringing up a topic, the right thing to do would be give one or two common topics for the two of us to talk about. But as I began thinking, I felt like I was playing the role of a woman who did a lot of matchmaking in a drama. Even if a man could work for a living, he might be weak at playing as a matchmaker.

… realizing I went off track, I shook my head.

The young boy, who continued to walk together to with me to the garden, was a slender good-looking youth.

Whether it was unexpected or not, or maybe it was due to our age, but between the two of us who were in the same age, he was comparatively shorter.

His black hair and violet eyes were astounding.

And even though the outline of his cheeks were of a young boy, he had plenty of intellectual features. His form had a steady movement as he walked smoothly; although, it might be because he is aware that a lot of people pay close attention to him that he developed this gift.

Though the game characters had an outlined image color associated to each of them, for him, that color was just black. During work, he would only wear black clothes. Even now, he was wearing an expensive outfit with silver embroidery that was certainly black.

When the rose arch of the garden was nearly visible, that beautiful young boy blocked my path as we were about to arrive and said.

「You – do you understand what it means to be decided as my fiancée?(3)」

Because it happened too fast, my reaction was delayed and all I could do was nod my head.

That beautiful young boy, with his astounding violet eyes, quickly glared at me.

「Yup. I don’t like you. Your face is okay, but to begin with an overall gloomy person is not my type. Not only that, you’re way too big. –But, your linage balances it off. I’ll compromise. Don’t you dare misunderstand your position as my fiancée and think of telling anyone about my behavior」

Ah… That’s right.

He had this kind of character.

While thinking that in the corner of my head, in truth, my feelings were filled relief.

My worst fears didn’t happen.

I mean that at the moment I met Wolfgang Eisenhut, I didn’t change.

Without understanding my heart’s working, wasn’t I unable to control my feelings and nearly grew to like him? Although I knew about my destruction before hand, didn’t his dazzling eyes almost pierced the passion of my heart. It was most frightening.

Yeah. It’s good. It is….『Not』.

That’s because I’m not masochistic.

I want to hit this cheeky brat on the head.

But I’m already an adult from my previous life. It would be impossible not to have obstacles as a life experience.

I pulled my own eyes down, enjoying the fact that I could laugh at him under my nose.

「If you prefer a smaller body, then yours would be suitable」

Ah, it slipped.

(1) A bit ironic since she’s being sent to her room by her daddy…

(2) Really, I’ll stick to this translation until someone gives me a better one. Because god damn, that little lady has the hots for that gentleman…

(3) In here, he uses the pronoun (ore). It will be a detail later mentioned in chapter 4