Struggle
Struggle #1
Dead
Hi, my name is "Dead" I am a student who currently is interested in writing.
Dead
Originally I just wrote on ******* in my native language, which is german.
Dead
After a while I just wanted to write in english, since it's somehow easier to just don't worry about errors if you re-read to find heavy mistakes that can impact the reading flow as a reader.
Dead
I just want to give a quick example what the differences are between my writing in German and English. So I will describe a random person.
Dead
English:
They have short brown hair which barely covers their ears. Their blue eyes glared at me, they don't seem to like me. They are a bit shorter then I am, but that don't made them less intimidating.
Dead
German:
Ihre braunen Haare sind kurz, verdecken jedoch immernoch ihre Ohren genügend, sodass nur noch das Ohrläppchen hervor blitzt. Mit blauen Augen starrt sie mich an, man konnte klar erkennen, dass sie mich nicht leiden konnte und auch wenn sie ein Stück kleiner war als ich, machte sie das nicht weniger bedrohlich.
Dead
Translation (I just used Google translate for that...):
Her brown hair is short, but it still covers her ears enough so that only the earlobe peeks out. She stares at me with blue eyes, you could clearly see that she didn't like me and even if she was a bit shorter than me, that didn't make her any less threatening.
Dead
As you can see I added more stuff that make a simple text more complicated but the content stays the same. Which maybe more appealing sometimes, but it's time consuming to re-read those phrases again without wanting to change a little bit. At least for me.
Dead
Since I plan on a chat story with direct speech I need to plan certain sentences. Depending on the situation there is the possibility I struggle with my vocabulary. I mean, it's not that I don't know absolutely nothing about english and have very little vocabulary to use. But i still struggle with finding the word I am looking for. Especially if it something like "reciprocate", which I never heard of in my life till a few days ago.
Dead
And this is called having issues with remembering certain rules and words... But that not the point my point is that writing in English is more time consuming and tiresome than in German sometimes. Yes, I set limitations to describing and expressing certain things to the minimum. Not coming to the point and being creating not necessary details is something I do a lot and writing in english helps me to reduce that. This is why I started writing in English. Well of course I just wanted to know how hard it would get as well but that's a different story.
Struggle #2
Dead
Another issue or struggle I have is being afraid of bad representation.
Dead
Of course it's fictional, I don't need to be afraid to represent a character badly if their just a creation of mine.
Obviously if you creat a character that had problems as a child, is queer in any way, has a mental health issue or a certain disorder it's a different story. You should always inform yourself about things that don't get representation often and when they do maybe not always in the best way.
Dead
But in the end I am just a human with a mindset that tells me to treat every person (not every person but, nearly every person) equally even if they are just fictional and if I talk about them, which I somehow do while writing, I want to be a nice person and represent them how they are and don't make a over dramatic characteristic that make them look bad in a way.
Dead
Yeah, that probably made no sense, but I hope you get my point and what I tried to say.
Dead
But yeah me being anxious is a struggle for me.
In the end
Dead
That may just be two struggles I have but there is more behind something than you think. So if you see this: Thank you. This little information book was just to tell how my skills are and my process while writing, without having processes. Of course there is more but those two are the ones that often make me delete over 3.000 words (around 7/8 chapters, maybe a bit less, maybe a bit more) before even getting feedback. And I just wanted to make this for myself to have a explanation why I may be irregular if I will ever update or why I am a terrible write... It's just that I overwhelm myself in a way while I do stuff.
Dead
And if you are a writer yourself and feel stressed by writing. Just think about all the stuff you achieved even if it's not much and try maybe to work from time to time on the current story. If you can just spend five minutes a day for writing it's okay, you don't need to force you to do more. Everybody has their one speed and not everybody always can give everything. In the end it will work somehow and if you plan on publishing there will be a lot of people who will enjoy your content. So yeah a little "advice/ motivation" for writers who have this problem I described, since every stress is different and everyone deals differently with it.
Dead
So that's all I have to say, keep going in this game of life and remember to drink your water.
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