This book is dedicated to my best friend George who

worked alongside me in creating these.

Mid way through writing he passed from complications of

cancer.

           Prologue

 Everyone has at

least one night that will change their lives forever, rather if it's winning

the lottery, or meeting your favorite actor/singer, or even getting drunk and

sleeping with a complete stranger.

Yup!

I had a one-night stand with another man, but before we go

forward let me explain how it happened.

The day before,

In Art class just finishing my test and it took all my

sanity to finish. Good thing class ended early for me.

After testing for most of the day I was free to go home and

sleep preferably the rest of the week away.

"Wit, where are you going?" Mo yelled over the

room chatter.

"Home, I need sleep," said as I packed my books

in the bag, I've spent the last ten days binge studying.

"No man! We're going out getting trashed and live a

little, you my friend will NOT be a ****** by the end of the night." He

laughed hanging off my shoulder; it makes me mad that he keeps pressuring me

about it.

"Fucking ***, I'm not doing that shit," there's

nothing worse than having sex with a girl you don't know, but to do it with a

girl you don't have feelings for too.

"Come on... what's wrong with fucking a chick to get

rid of it?" smacking him on the back of the head.

"Stupid idiot, maybe I want to stay a ******," I

snapped walking away shaking my head.

It was annoying as hell to know that girls didn't even see

me, let alone want to date me, I really don't care about it anyways, studies

and getting out of Maryland was my top goal.

After hitting the food market getting some food, I headed

to my room, the same old room as always, with dark curtains on the windows, I

had a desk with my laptop, game system, and tv hanging on the wall, a little

kitchen nook over by the balcony that overlooked the world, it paid off to be

on the tenth floor.

I turned my walk-in closet into a bedroom just a full-size

bed with a red and gold bed set, a nightstand for my phone dock, and a book for

the night.

Sighing as I started to prepare dinner, it was actually

kind of lonely to know I didn't like going out and being social, but it's what

needed to be done.

Mo's my best friend from elementary school along with

Jerry, they're two peas in a pod.

They've had more girls than I can count.

Gross!

I've told them a few times; I'll laugh if their dicks fall

off shaking my head.

Scrolling through Facebook as I wait for my food to finish

cooking, Mo of course was streaming a live video of the party they were at.

"Wit, I see you, come play man," shaking my head

turning my phone off, jumping at the sound of knocks on my door.

"Shit!!"

"Yes!" I mosey my way to open the door for Jerry,

he was the only other person that it could possibly be here, rolling my eyes

walking away knowing he'll follow.

"Get dressed..."

"I'm not going," I snapped, tired of the same

shit all the time.

"It's stupid man."

"You're going Wit... school is almost over and, you'll

get a job."

"Live a little before you settle down, I'm not telling

you to **** anyone, just come drink and have fun before your life is

over." His words hit just a bit, he arched his eyebrow to me knowing he

won this fight, I huffed walking into the bedroom to change my clothes and get

this over with.

Sitting in his car with my arms crossed, trying to act mad

even though I wasn't, I had to admit he was probably the only person that could

ever talk me into going anywhere with him.

Checking my appearance one last time before walking into

the bar, black skinny jeans, with a white hoodie, my hair pulled back into a

ponytail, all my piercings are studded, no hoops today, even though I prefer

the hoops more.

"You look good man, come on" Jerry threw this arm

over my shoulder pulling me into the place that had music booming through my

head.

Walking up to the group Mo's with, everyone was laughing

and slamming drinks back.

"Wit, God you're out of your cage, Shit Jerry I don't

believe it," smiling cause I knew Jerry and Mo had a bet that if I came

Jerry would get money and of course Mo handed Jerry a fifty. They've bet on

almost anything.

"Here," taking a shot, I'm not a lite weight, but

I also not much of a drinker either, drinking water in between shots to keep me

halfway sober.

Time was flying by I could feel myself loosening up more by

the minute.

"Let's play pool," Mo shouts pulling me from my

seat to the pool tables, three games of whipping Mo, Jerry, and Tommy's asses.

They were so drunk that standing looks like a sport to them.

"Come on man, how can you be so good at this game if

you never come out," smiling at him, he's so drunk he didn't even notice

he never shot any balls into the sockets.

"So, Wit can I ask something," Tommy asked barely

able to hold his head up.

"Sure," Even my words began to slur.

"Why are you reserved? I mean is it religions or

family stuff, sex is fun and helps relieve stress why not try it?" Tommy's

words slurred to the point I barely understood him.

"I'm not religious, and I don't have any family left

to have that issue, it's just..."

I could see everyone leaned closer to me; I had already

said too much might as well say it.

"I just don't want to have different partners, I want

just one for the rest of my life, what wrong with that?" I snapped,

shooting back four shots without water.

Pissing me off half-drunk is never good for anyone.

"It's ok man, we didn't mean to intrude, I promise we

will never bring it up again.

"Okay, let's drink," holding up our drinks

shooting them back.

I drugged Jerry to the dance floor making him feel girly

about dancing with me, Mo and Tommy jumped in laughing and stumbling.

Mo swayed his hips as Tommy grin against me. I was actually

having fun!

Hours passed by between shots, darts, and kings' game I was

starting to feel my head ready to explode.

Jerry had his head down on the table along with the other

three guys that were here when I arrived, Mo left and came back, but he's

currently in the bathroom with a girl.

Rubbing my head, I needed to go home and sleep it off, this

is exactly why I don't like going out I always overdo it.

"Jerry call me a cab," looking over to him

snoring, everyone was passed out on the table.

"You're Wit, right?" turning to the voice, it was

Bash is a classmate from last year, we had gear class, he helped me with final

testing.

"Oh, Hi Bash," I haven't seen him since the

school orientation, now he's helping me to my feet.

Odd he's so big for being younger than me. Everything's

blurry and oddly enough I was feeling more confident than before.

Waking outside, the air hit me like a brick, failing to

climb on the back of Bash's bike, he hooked my helmet then he quickly jumped on

and started the engine.

"I've never ridden on a bike before," I could

tell my consciousness was running out.

"It's fun, hold on," He took my hands wrapping

them tightly around his waist.

I could feel the heat of his body, my legs jiggle from the

engine, I could feel myself becoming aroused for the first time in my life.

I've never had a feeling like this before and not with

anyone. I've never even masturbated before.

I thought my **** was broken!

"Where do you live?" he turned his head to me, I

caught his eyes gulping hard.

"Cor...se tower," my words shook hard trying to

keep myself awake and alert.

"Cool, me too, I'm in 16 what's your room,"

smiling at me, maybe because I squeezed his waist harder as he drove toward our

apartment building.

"10" the breeze flew through my ponytail, my

hoodie held what little warmth I had.

I squealed like a girl when he whipped around the corner

without warning, I actually enjoyed the ride, and his sent, the smell of musk

and forest.

Pulling into the parking lot, the air seemed cooler than

sitting on the bike.

"I'll walk you up," He said helping me off the

bike, my legs were shaking.

I stumbled to walk on the ground. My legs nearly drug on the

gravel for a good minute before he sucked his teeth making a growling sound.

"Damn it" before I could ask him what was wrong,

he picked me up, hooking his arm under my legs and the other arm holding my

back in place.

"Hey..." fighting against him holding me like

that.

"Hush, I'll get you to your room faster this

way." Gulping hard laying my head on his shoulder, the doorman smiled at

us, not going to lie we did look a bit odd. My small size didn't seem to bother

him much, he didn't huff or struggle to hold me.

"I like the piercings," his eyes stayed forward

as we entered the elevator.

"Mm, nice tattoo, what is it?" looking around

fighting sleep, my eye his neck caught spotting what looked like wings out the

side of his shirt.

"A dragon, it goes down my back," he made it seem

like I didn't weigh anything, just holding me there.

The elevator only took a minute to get to our floor, but

time seemed to stop.

"I want a tattoo; can I see it?" smiling our

conversation wasn't at all awkward it flowed so easily.

Until Bash bounced me lightly waking me up.

"Wit, wake up" opening my eyes, looking around

before noticing I was at my door.

"I need the keys," pushing myself out of his arms

feeling the heat in my cheeks there it was again that feeling in my lower

belly, seeing his eyes like that, those light brown orbs and his hair obviously

dyed white and red, tan skin, following down with a dark scruffy beard, he's

eyebrow piercing plus a star tattoo I almost didn't notice it.

Everything was heating to a boiling point.

"Wit, Wit" feeling his heavy hand land on my

shoulder.

"Umm," shaking as I tried to unlock my door, the

damn key wouldn't go in, he placed his hand over mine.

"Calm down," I could feel his body heat against

my back, it felt so good.

Turning to face him, only needing to look almost a foot

upper ward, damn I didn't catch the height difference.

I grabbed his face bringing his lips to mine, this feeling

in my body urged to taste him, feel him, know him, to be felt by him.

What I didn't know was what tomorrow will bring when I

sober up.

"Bash come in?" he didn't answer but he followed

me, anxious to know everything.

"Wit, you're still..." He stopped me and for good

reason, I knew what I was, the whole damn school knew I'm twenty-two and never

had sex, never experienced pleasure from another person.

I finally wanted something real, I wanted him...

"I'm never going to have this courage again,"

throwing my hoodie on the floor, unbuttoning his shirt, he didn't stop me in

fact I was in control of most of it. Kissing him, touching him, his well build

body stood before me, my frame was nothing compared to his.

Gulping the lump in my throat looking into his eyes, caught

up in those orbs again as he pulled my hair tie out and undid my belt dropping

my pants to the floor.

"Wit..." he sighs lightly grazing his fingertips

over my shoulders and collar bone, shivering at the air on my skin, the

anticipation was killing me.

Stopping him from stopping me again by running my tongue

across his ****** hoop, my tongue ring hit his ****** ring, he threw his head

back sighing.

I would've had to jump to get to his lips on my own, his

nipples were pierced like mine just I had barbells, his rough finger traced

across my rings letting off a tickling sensation.

We kissed our way to the bed, straddling his hips, grinding

myself against him.

His tongue did things to my rings that can only be

described as heaven, he pulled my hair just enough to force my head back as he

sucked on my neck leaving his mark.

"More," I couldn't get enough, I wanted more I

didn't even know what the hell I was doing it was like someone else took over

my body, I slid down to his long, thick, veiny shaft standing at attention, the

salty taste of pre-*** on my tongue drove me crazy.

"Shit," he hissed as my tongue ring slid up and

down his member, bobbing my head feeling his hands massage my scalp an amazing

feeling.

He grabbed my hips turning me until I was straddling his

face.

"Ahh... Bash No...T ... th...ere..." I protest

him licking my hole, I quickly shut my mouth feeling him push a finger inside.

My stomach felt weird.

My eyes rolled back his finger felt so good.

"That's feels so good Wit," he moans along with

the hardslurping sounds.

Smiling as I smacked his head against my tongue, my eyes

nearly popped out of my head feeling him trying another finger.

One was already too big; I just couldn't get enough rocking

myself back and forth.

Stroking myself for a moment my toes curled, and legs shook

from my first nut, the glorious sensation from something like this.

"Ready?" I couldn't answer, I didn't have that

kind of courage.

He flipped me onto my back, resting my legs on his

shoulder, the tearing sound of a condom wrapper filled the air.

Huffing as I came down from my high, watching his every

move.

"Relax Wit," I cried out digging my nails into

his back, he wiped my eyes waiting for me to give him the okay to move.

"Ow Ow Ow..." I knew this would hurt, but didn't

think it would be this bad, I was completely sober from this.

"Ah Bash"

"You feel so good Wit," he rocked slowly until

the pain had been replaced with pleasure.

"Bash~~" huffing as he kissed down my neck, my

knees banged against my shoulders, sweat dripping from his face our eyes locked

the sounds of pleasure filled the air along with the sound of my bed knock into

the wall.

"Turn over," he said, pulling out just long

enough for me to turn onto my hands and knees, he pushed my stomach down into

the mattress.

"You like it?" Bash wrapped his hand into my hair

pulling me backward, arching my back feeling him slid in further.

"Fu... Ah ~~~" his other hand held me in place as

he ****** roughly, my moans filled the air for a good few minutes, my hands

locked into his hair as I turned my head to kiss him our tongue flipped around.

"Good boy, ride me," he praised as he instructed

me to straddle him, he slid inside me with ease this time, my hands lean

backward holding his legs as he bounced my body.

This was a different feeling, he stroked me, I'm sure he

could see I was close by the expression on my face. I was trying hard to hold

my screams, but it felt so good.

"*** for me Wit," it hit me like a wall, I had

lost my virginity to a man, Bash huffed a few more times, thrusting harder it

made me scream feeling him stretching me to the max.

"Christ~~" biting my lip crying of both pleasure

and pain with a bit of regret, letting my legs relax back onto the bed, it

didn't stop them from shaking though.

"**** Wit, that..." he huffed in between breaths.

I laid on his chest just listening to his heartbeat at

first racing then slowly settling down to a normal beat. I could feel my hole

squeeze him as he filled me.

"Yeah," I said completely unsure what the hell

came over me, but I didn't fight it I just fell asleep.

What the hell just happened? Mom, Dad I'm confused!

Pounding on the door.

"Wit, are you in there?" Mo yelled from the other

side of the door the sound made me shoot upward, he sounds worried and nervous.

"Shit..." hissing and rubbing my lower back the

stabbing pain shot through my body and down my legs, gulping nervously lifting

the blanket to find.

"Shyiaaa..." My shocked expression causes my bed

partner to moan rolling over.

"****! I'm *****," wrapping the sheet around my

body, ignoring the pain I walked to the door, stumbling a few times before I

got there my legs felt wobbly and boneless.

"WIT!" Mo pound harder on the door, I realized

why he sounded so stress.

"YEA, YEA" snapping as I opened the door, his

face went from worried to shocked instantly.

"Christ, what happened to you?" he grabbed my

shoulders only to send shooting pain through my legs hissing as I held on to

the door for stability, my legs wobbled for a minute before I could straighten

up again.

Damn

my back hurt so bad I got that drunk.

"Nothing," stuttering nervously, my memory was

gone there was no telling what the hell happened.

"Dude, don't say nothing, look," he held up his

phone to the camera.

"SHIT~~~" my hair was standing up in every

direction, I had a hickeys on my cheek and down my neck, Looking at Mo, who now

had a shit-eating grin, rolling my eyes at him.

"BOY~~~" he laughed pushing by me.

"No, Mo, where are you going?" I couldn't even

chase him.

"Dude, I need to meet the lady that took my man's

virginity,

Whoo lady put something on, I'm coming to shake your

hand."

"Mo no, don't go in there," I limped to my room

getting to the door, Bash was standing with everything hanging, tattoos,

clothes, and glory.

"Mo..." he turned to me wide-eyed.

I could feel the tension in the air, Bash dressed quickly

looking at me while the silence filled the air.

"To think you're my best friend and you couldn't tell

me," Mo snapped rushing by me, his shoulder collided with mine knocking me

to the floor.

"****," hissing at the impact, the floor hit

harder than Bash, holding my back trying to stand.

"Wit, are you OK?" Bash said holding out his hand

to help me, I smacked him away.

"Get out!" tears ran down my face, not just from

the pain, but from the fact that I had just made the biggest mistake of my

life. Between the rush of memories and what Mo said, I almost instantly

regretted ever meeting Bash.

"No, Wit last night..."

"Yea, I know, look at me, I can't believe I'm that

stupid, look at the mess I've caused. Please leave," A frenzy of unneeded

words shot out of my mouth.

"I left my number on the bed, see you at school"

he snapped walking past me, I heard the door slam shut.

"****~~~~" the outburst was just the beginning of

a very long list of things I would go through.

Crying like a little baby, I hate pain and anything that

comes with it, beyond me how I got fifteen piercings and can't handle sex.

Trying to relax in a nice warm bath to soak my sore body,

looking around the bathroom thinking of last night, the things I did, I said.

Shaking off the thoughts of me sucking his ****, touching

my swollen lips, tracing down to the hickeys on my neck dark bruise-like

colors, running my hand further to my aching hole.

"How long would it take to recover, never going to do

that again," saying to myself as I pulled my legs into my chest.

"Wit, where are you?" Jerry yelled from the door.

"Bathroom," embarrassed enough, but what was one

more nosy person asking questions. He didn't though he just stood in the

doorway.

"What?" I didn't really have a reason to snap at

him, I just felt horrible, and confused.

"Are you okay?" he just said the words without

sarcasm.

"Let me guess Mo ran his mouth," sitting upward

with anger, this was exactly why I didn't tell Mo anything.

"I don't care what you are, I Just want to know if you

are okay?" He walked over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, so

sincere and nurturing.

"No... I don't know what to do," sobbing again

and not even sure why?

"Come on I'll help you today," he said helping me

out of the tub.

"Thank you," sniffing as I dried my hair, getting

dressed.

"What do you want to eat?" he tried to hide the

smile as I struggled to sit on the stool.

"Nothing," holding my hands in my lap, my

emotions were all over the place right now, seeing Bash's face change from

happy to hurt when he left, or even his smile, not to mention his body,

tattoos, piercings, muscles... Shaking my head at the thought Oh God... I scold

myself.

"Look you can't wobble around depressed because your

friend thought you lied to him, you just need to call him here and explain it

to him, it's not a crime to be curious and it sure as hell isn't a crime to

actually be gay dude."

"But I'm not fucking..." I stopped myself from

saying it, I clearly was after what happened, I think!

"Gay, I have no idea what I am right now,"

nervously saying trying to hide from the world if I could, it was starting to

get on my nervous, and sadly enough it was kind of true.

"Sure, but..." he looked down trying to find the

right words to say without pissing me off.

"You never looked at a woman the way you eyed Bash

last night," if he were recording my reaction (priceless), he busted out

laughing.

"Wait you saw us leaving, why didn't you stop

me?"

"I honestly didn't think you would do anything, and

Bash isn't the type of guy that does one-night stands," he sat a cut-up

apple in front of me with water and pain medicine.

"Eat, I'll be back in one hour," nodding as he

left.

Sitting there letting the remainder of the night soak into

my brain, smiling because I actually had sex and weirdly enough, I did in fact

enjoy it, only if it didn't come with this amount of pain. Rubbing my hand over

the hickeys on my neck smiling at the memory of Bash's soft, full lips.

His kisses were just the beginning, those hands holding me

in place or even how his strong legs held me down while his tongue traced my

body.

My hand shot to my lips running a finger across them, I

could still remember his taste.

"Wit..." startled by the sound of the door

closing.

"Huh, oh Hi" blushing as I had just got caught

jacking off.

"Okay, now that we are all here, let's clear the

air." Jerry stood next to Mo.

"No," he snapped, turning to the door.

"Mo, it's not what you think, I'm..." I turned in

the stool, looking at him I needed to clear it up with him, at least Jerry got

the message.

"A fag! Yup got it," He scolds

"What the **** is your problem?" saying as I

hopped off the stool pulling him to look at me.

"You should've told me," I'd only once seen the

hurt in his eyes.

"Why? So, you could run your mouth about it,"

"You know I'm not as bad as you think," it was

true he did do good sometimes.

"For your information, I'm not gay, I just so happen

to do exactly what you two have done a million times, I had a one night stand,

it just happened to be with a man and not a girl, what's the big deal?" I

crossed my arms, shaking my head at him, he blew this way out of proportion.

"Man, you're never going to **** a girl if you keep

looking like one," and there is was again the one thing Jerry and Mo got

away with, calling me a girl because I have long blonde hair and blue eyes, no

amount of hair dye or contacts will change that.

"**** off," with that he hugged me laughing.

"So how does your *** feel?"

"**** you, asshole." Smiling, we ended up

watching movies for the rest of the day eating take out and chatting about

everything and of course, Bash came up in the conversation a few times.

"So, be honest did you enjoy it?" Mo asked I

nearly choked on my dinner.

"MO," Jerry snapped smacking him on the back of

his head, holding back a giggle.

"No, it's fine, and umm I don't know," I was

completely honest, I did and didn't enjoy it.

I still didn't know what to do about him, seeing them off

for the night I laid down ready to call it a night, throwing my hands behind my

head, the pain was now nearly gone and for one weird reason, I found myself

thinking about Bash again and this time I focused on sucking him, shaking off

the thoughts again turning overseeing Bash's watch laying on the side he slept

on.

Sitting up holding it in my hands, a leather band with a

silver time dial turning it overseeing it had an engravement, 'Sebastián

Curtter Sr.'

"Shit!" rushing around to find his number finding

it on the floor.

Rolling my eyes as I dialed the number cursing myself, I

didn't know what to say.

'Hello,' click his voice alone sent my body into a frenzy,

the husky sound of his near-perfect accent, I knew he was foreign from the

first day of school.

His family was from Thailand, but he was born here. Looking

down at my phone a text on the screen.

'Are you okay? B'

'Yea, Ummm you left your watch here, sorry'

'Ok, meet me in the entrance hall tomorrow'

'Okay, night,'

'hold on, can we talk?'

'Tomorrow!' I already knew what he wanted to talk about,

and right now I'm not sure I can do that type of talk.

Tossing and turning all night drove me insane to think I

was seeing him again, I needed to keep my cool.

Wearing my normal skinny jeans and oversize shirt, pulling

my hair back into a hair tie, trading my studs for hoops on my lips and

eyebrow.

Sighing deeply this was it, going to chat with the man that

sends chills down my body and this weird butterfly feeling in my belly.

My dorm room wasn't too far from the entrance hall, students

were coming and going I stood at the door until it cleared out a bit.

"Wit," turning to face plant into a chest, I keep

forgetting that he's so damn tall, looking up to his brown eyes instantly my

legs turned into jelly.

"Hey, uh here," holding my hand out to give him

the watch.

"Let's have lunch and talk," he didn't let me

answer he grabbed my hand and lead me to his bike, a flashback memory of riding

with him.

The ride was short, but amazing him hitting bumps hurt a

bit not as much as yesterday though.

"You okay?" he asked seeing my little too obvious

struggle, trying to fix my jeans and trying not to bend.

"Yea, I'm good." Smiling, then following behind

him.

We order the same thing, chicken tenders, and cheeseburger

fries, with strawberry milkshakes.

"Go sit," his stern voice made it almost sound

like an order, but I didn't argue, sitting by the window until he sat next to

me with the tray of food.

"Thank you again, this watch is irreplaceable,"

he said as he hooked the strap.

"I'll never steal," saying as I popped a fry in

mouth smiling.

"So, about..."he's trying to play it smooth,

looking at him playing bashful.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," I cut him off it

was awkward enough, but I'm finally sure what I want from this lunch I just

hopped he feels the same.

"It's okay, but what I wanted to say was, I knew you

were a ******, I shouldn't have done that." His face seemed to change

again, from confused to content and smooth.

"It's fine, I was drunker than I thought, I've always

believed I was straight, but never looked at a woman in a sexual way, it's

weird." Talking between eating it was nice, had a sort of first date feel.

"So, did you discover you're actually gay?" he

arched his eyebrow, the one with the ring and tattoo, my belly did those flips

again. How could he have such an impact on me?

"I'm not sure about that either, how would I

know?" testing my limits would be a disaster, but none the else it needed

to be done one way or another.

"Well, you could go on a few dates and see," my

stomach felt to my feet, I lowered my eating more food fora few quiet minutes.

"Maybe I only want you..." he didn't answer I

slowly followed from the food to his chin then eyes, he wasn't answering me, I

blew it Jerry told me he didn't like one-night stand.

"Umm,"

"Wit, I have a girlfriend," well damn, the rest

of the meal was awkward, we ate quietly.

He cheated on his girlfriend with me, at this minute I felt

like a *****. I didn't bother catching a ride with him back I walked back to

class.

Jerry tried to talk to me, but I blocked him out, I skipped

afternoon class and went to my room hiding from reality.

The next few days I stayed home like always, hanging out

with Mo and Jerry, they tried to get me out to the bar, I hurried to say NO!

We drank the nights away, and before I knew it the weekend

was over, and it was time to go back to school.

"Yo Wit, you pretty enough let's go," of course

Mo teasing yet again.

Smiling today I needed to get on with my life and I intend

to do that.

Walking into the entrance hall spotting Jerry standing with

Tee and Stacy, pretty girls' nice eyes and long legs and good size chest.

"Hey, Jerry,"

"Hey..."

"Wit, you look different," Stacy said standing a

bit too close to me, eyeing Mo knowing that he put them up to this.

"Not really, just..."

"Wit," my heart dropped at the booming voice

behind me, turning to be face plant into his damn chest again, damn it Bash the

giant.

Doesn't he know personal space.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he only took my hand nearly

bragging me through the halls into the bathroom.

I could feel peoples on us as we rushed by.

"Bash..." cut off by his lips, shocked for a

second before pushing him back, smacking him across the face not that it hurt

him.

"I need it," rocking his side to side on my

forehead.

Completely shocked and ever felt the need for him in my

belly. "Wit, I need you again,"

"Ask your girlfriend," I reached for the door his

hand covered mine, for a second, I stood my back to him, we didn't talk or move

just stood there heavily breathing.

The air was so thin I felt like I would choke on it

anytime.

"Please, don't do that again," I said, then left

him standing there.

Sitting in class listen to another lesson project for the

spring concert, Mo suggested Moon Pies, Jerry said Crazy Oats, it was going to

be one crazy spring concert thanks to them.

 Most of the time I've spent with Mo and Jerry started to die down when Jerry finally 'announced his relationship with Tee' (I saw that coming) Mo seemed to have a new girl every day too.

As for me well, I finally got that tattoo I've been wanting a mini stormtrooper on my inner thigh, I love it and yes it hurt like hell but totally worth it.

Dave is the best! I've gone to him for all my work over the past ten years, still remembering his words.

"So, who hurt you now," he smiled, he knows more about me than Jerry and Mo when it came to inner family, Dave is my uncle and I got my first piercing at twelve.

It was my way to vent my Bi-Polar and Depression.

Just my weird way to cope.

"No one!"

"You only get work done when you're heart hurts so tell me, this tattoo will take a good hour let it out," he nods listening hard to my words, and to tell my uncle that I believed I was gay was a big step for me. I let out a sigh when he didn't look me in the eyes and say I hate you.

"Dude that's some deep shit." he looked me in the eyes after I finished speaking, he knew about my promise and it hit us both hard to think about it.

This hippie man was so amazing. Knowing I won't have to hide from him.

"Yea, well at least everyone can get off my back about being a ****** though," I tempered, he smiled nodding

"Yea, but dude it hurt hearing about it, do you talk to him?"

"He tries to talk to me, but I've pushed him away,"

"Maybe he had a legit reason to cheat, or maybe he's not with her and it's a rumor, you know people make stuff up all day, every day." Sadly, enough he had a point I didn't really hear Bash out completely and I'm not really sure his girlfriend is the real deal or just for show.

I read that a lot of closet gays hide behind a false relationship.

"Okay all done, and my next client should be here soon," he huffed wiping and wrapping my leg.

"Okay, thanks" I turned to leave only to run into the giant I've been avoiding.

I turned back to Dave, who now had a cheesy grin, with an arched eyebrow.

****!

I began walking to the door, stopping at Bash's voice, that stern tome made my pants go HI!

"Stay!" Bash said as he sat in the chair, part of me wanted to run out the door, but another part of me wanted to see him again.

I'm currently confusingly dizzy at the turn of events in the pace of a few weeks.

Dave pulled another stool out for me.

"What are we doing today?" Dave asked Bash while he began setting up.

"I want what he got in the same place," there were no emotions in his voice, as for me I was stunned by his voice.

"What? No Bash doesn't do that," rushing to say as I waved my arms side to side before Dave began drawing it up.

"My body, my choice." I swallowed my pride and sat watching intently, he didn't move or flinch, I, on the other hand, was crying and begging for mercy.

I kept my head down even though Bash tried several times to talk to me, he ran his fingers through my hair, he was doing everything in his power to get my attention, but the only thing going through my mind was why was I still sitting here, what makes me so drawn to him.

"You know what this staredown is getting on my nerves, you two need to talk and I mean actually talk things out,"

"By the way Wit, if you stare and harder, you'll end up eye pregnant." Dave smiled leaving us sitting there, I looked around seeing that he had indeed left us there alone.

I felt my face burning as Bash and Dave laughed, this is harder than I thought

"Wit, I think it's time I told you the truth and I can only hope you will be okay with it," His face the same cold and emotionless. No matter how hard he pleaded I didn't want the truth to come out of his mouth.

"It's your business, I need to go," standing to leave, now I knew how women felt when guys used them aside.

"Wit wait, please," of course I stood there like an idiot, my boiling point hit.

"No! You cheated on your girlfriend..."I turned to face him again, his eyes were glossy and sad.

"Yes, I admit I was drunk and stupid, but you were sober and you choose to do that even after you heard me say, my first will be my Only." His hand reached for my face, those strong yet soft hands.

"I'm sorry, I really do want to have something with you..."

What?

Stepping back looking him in the eyes, he really just said that. What the hell did I look like to him?

"Are you kidding me?" I raved

"I'm not going to be your side bitch," I headed to the front, as my hand hit the knob he stopped me.

"I'm only with Tracy for my son," Like a wall was dropped on me.

My heart sunk, no words could describe how I felt to know the vow I made to my parents had been broken by him, I blame myself completely.

Pushing the door open to leave.

"Tracy was my first," he rushed, I don't what stopped me from leaving, but I stopped keeping my back facing him, if I looked at him right now, I'd probably punch him.

"I didn't know what I was doing with her, I have no feelings for her, and I haven't touched her in over two years, I want you Wit," feeling tears coming to the surface, I left welcoming the cold air, but it was a welcoming feeling after nearly losing what little bit of dignity I had left.

Why did I make such a bad choice? Was what he said true? How am I different from her? He has a child to think about.

"Wit, is that you?" Amber came into view, she's a classmate, I've known her since we started school, she tutored me a few times we're not exactly close, but I'll say she a good friend.

Giving a gentle smile as I walked.

"Hey wait, Are you okay?" She said holding onto my jacket to stop me, her blue eyes looked glossy from the cold air, her nose and cheeks were red too. I found her attractive if I didn't have all Bash bull going on.

"I'm fine thanks," keeping my answer short and sweet, just until I got home.

"Hey, I'll walk you home you look a little out of sorts," his face showed concern, I would never confide in a girl for help with my problems.

"K" with that she walked with me, she wasn't nosy, not once did she ask what was wrong or why was I crying like a damn girl again.

"Wit, can I ask you something?" I was already prepared for any question out there.

Why am I so short? Am I transgender? Where do I get my hair cut? Who does my piercings?

"Sure," faking a smile.

"Are you gay?" stopping mid-step lowering my head further.

Shit!

"Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude, it's just everyone is saying it, so..." she rushed the words I barely caught half of what she said.

Looking at her dumbfounded!

"Everyone is saying what?"

"Well, it's just that since school started all the guys say you're gay cause you never have sex and Tommy said he saw Bash leaving your room early one morning," Rolling my eyes as I walked.

I knew this would come back in bite me in the ***!

"All because I vowed to not have sex until I was in a committed relationship doesn't make me gay," I jerked my head to the side then looked up to the night sky sighing deeply.

"Bash spent the night to make sure I didn't choke on my own puke; doesn't anyone know Bash has a girlfriend?" People will say anything, I'm no different I just don't want people to know Bash cheat on his girlfriend.

If that means I have to lie about it then I would.

"Yea, everyone knows about her, but they were never been seen together, I heard she came to the school making a fuss a couple of months ago and Bash had her band from coming, now the only time he sees her is when he goes to his parent's house."

How does she know this information? Why is she telling me?

"Oh, well thanks for walking me, I'll see you around class,"

"Uh, Wit..." she smiled and blushed I barely saw it under the redness from the air.

"Errr. Do you want to come up?" I said smiling, she nods rushing to my side.

"Want some tea or coffee?" saying as I opened my door, her sweet rose perfume filled my nose as she brushed by me to enter the apartment.

"Tea in fine, Wow! this place is cozy looking," I watched her spin around taking in the room.

"Here you go."

"Yum, it's so good, where did you get this?"

"I made it." her face lit up in shock.

"No way, that's awesome, I turned to the TV, watching two movies and talking she's a great person to talk to.

"Wit?" I said as I brushed my fingers through her hair, midway through the first movie she leaned overlaying her head on my shoulder.

"Hmm,"

"Can I kiss you?" I didn't answer just slowly closing the gap between us.

Starting slowly, feeling a rush of heat through my body, grabbing the back of her head kissing her deeper. I hesitated only for a second sliding my hand down rubbing her back then bringing it to the front to her, not small-sized tits.

"Wit... Are you sure you want me?" she stopped staring into my eyes, I know what I'm suggesting, and I want it, not sure why, but I want her.

Minutes later between kissing and striping we ended up in my bedroom, she showed me where to lick her, I tried my best to mimic what I did to Bash. While she mastered my ****, her soft and breathless moans filled the air as she came with me.

Looking at her seeing if she wanting to go all the way. She spread her legs, panting hard with tears in her eyes.

"100% sure?" I asked again while rolling on a condom.

"Please Wit," before she could finish her statement, I ****** hard into her.

"Ahhh," she let out a sharp grunt wrapping her legs around my waist.

"Does it hurt?" I questioned if I was too harsh cause her eyes filled with tears.

"No? Feels good," she smiled, I slowly rocked in and out feeling her fingers squeeze my back, kissing me again. It felt weird, but good at the same time, I'm sure I'll do this again, but right now I was lost.

"Can I go faster?" she vigorously shook her head, yes, picking up my pace, I muffled her screams with my mouth and then pushing three fingers into her mouth, the sensation of her tongue flipping around my fingers made me squeeze the pillow with the other hand.

"I'm close," she gaped

"Wit, Oh... I'm there... Oh...God..." her cave gripping my shaft hurt forcing my seed to release. I could feel her legs were shaking like mine, this was definitely going on my Oh Shit! list.

Dropping my head on her should letting both our pulses level out and for her to stop trying to rip my **** off. Sliding out she hissed looking down...

"****!"

"What?" she leaned up on her arms looking down.

"The condom broke,"

"Amber, I'm so sorry." I saw her face go from happy to scare and she wasn't the only one.

"I'll get the plan B on my way home, uh thanks, see you around the school." she huffed rushing to dress and leave.

I sat on the bed trying to gain my burins that just happened, I had sex with a girl.

A few hours later, Mo and Jerry stopped by, and I just couldn't hide that I was lost. My brain was going to explode any minute. I just had to talk to someone.

"So let me get this straight, Bash has a kid and a girlfriend that he cheated on with you, you are having all these weird feelings and urges, and you had sex with Amber, Did I miss anything?" Jerry said sarcastically pacing the floor with Mo, I just laid on the bed staring at the ceiling hiding my tears.

It wasn't a bad experience I just don't know where to turn two things are currently running through my head and that is Did, she get the pill? Is it going to work?

After she left, I looked it up, one out of every one-hundred-thousand pills are defective and won't work.

"One more thing I didn't tell you guys..." dropping my head into my hands.

"The condom broke," I said it so low if I had barely heard it.

"WHAT???"

"Are you fucking insane?"

"What the hell? Did you feel it pop?"

"Did you two realize I've only had sex with one guy and I was the receiver, I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing?" I snapped, cause it was true and I should've done it, No I don't regret it as I did with Bash after I found out he had a girlfriend.

"**** man, I need a drink after that, shit!" They've had some shitty experience but to be honest I think mine is worse.

"Wit; why don't you see where things go between you and Bash?" shooting upward glaring at Jerry of all people saying this, he snapped stopping me from speaking.

"Hear me out first, you said, he said he hasn't been with her for over two years, maybe their relationship is over and he's only financially caring for his son." Arching my eyebrow.

"What exactly do you want from Bash?" Jerry said as if he was seeking more information, that was a good question, I've never had anything nearly as close to this feeling I have when I think of him.

It's like being in the same room sends me into a frenzy, not just for sex, but to feel complete.

"I think he completes me!" This is all so new I huffed standing there scratching the back of my head.

Jerry and Mo stared at one another then back at me, as if I said something wrong.

"What did I say?" hunching my shoulders.

"Oh, nothing umm Jerry I'm going to go get some beer, by back in ten." Mo rushed as he ran out the door before I could speak.

"Well damn," I looked up at Jerry who huffed and sat next to me.

"Man, this is deep." he shook his head, I just sighed walking over to my dresser, might as well get dress.

"Dude!" Jerry shouted wide-eyed.

"What?" my dumb self looking around thinking it was a spider or something.

His hands shot to his eyes covering them.

"You have your **** pierced, dam I think you'd go that far, you must love pain."

"Yea, I thought you knew that, it's a good two or three years old now" I looked down admiring it.

"**** no I didn't know, did it hurt?" he folded his eyebrows up his nose making me smile.

"Why you want it done too?" smiling as I jumped into my pants.

"**** no, oh shit, mine's hurting seeing it did bash see it?" he held his bugle making me laugh.

"Well, yeah we had sex, of course, he saw it he even sucked it too," the face he made had me dying I wished I could have recorded.

"Does it hurt? You know when you get hard doesn't it hurt?"

"It works the same as yours," I arched my eyebrow laughing.

"Can I ask you a serious question?"

"Shoot"

"How do you feel right now?"

I don't know really it's all so new and weird at the same time I wouldn't change it." I hoped he understood my answer.

"I don't know how to explain it, it's just I feel full of life when he's around me, I know it sounds stupid, Amber is a good girl and doesn't know the outcome between us, but I really want to be with Bash."

"It's not stupid just surprising My Witty's in love" he grabbed my shoulders rocking side to side.

I held my head in my hands this wasn't good, only my friends know me this way, they know me inside and out.

Even when my grandmother and my uncle died, they knew before everyone else they could sense my mood change.

"Okay let's change the subject, I want to play cards." Jerry jumped up pulling out the folding table setting it up, with cards, chips and dips now just waiting for Mo to return with beer and smokes.

Jerry and I played two games of rummy until Mo came back.

"I got the drinks man, let's play cards," Mo shouts holding the bags in the air.

"Why is he here?" I snapped seeing Bash the giant standing behind him.

"He's here to play cards," Mo smiled sitting everything down on the counter, snapping out beers for all of us.

"Is that a good idea," Jerry said Mo just smiled as we all sat down at the table.

The first two hands of spades were awkward cause Mo was my partner, but after switching from Mo to Bash things eased up and oddly enough, we laughed and loosen up a bit.

"We're going 6 what about guys?" Mo sets the scoreboard, I hit another drink.

"We're going 7," Bash said looking at me, this eerie shiver runs through my spine, he has a way with those brown eyes.

Of course, we played three games in Bash and I won two games after Mo tried to cheat once. Laughs and jokes flew by with time I was actually having fun and remembering how fun it is with my friends.

"Time for a movie, let's watched Knocked up" Mo held up the DVD smiling.

"No" Jerry, Bash, and I snapped, laughing.

"Terminator," Bash says, Mo and Jerry look at me, I look at them.

"What? It's a great movie, one of my favorites," I nearly choked to death my eyes shot up to Mo and Jerry.

"Uh that's Wit's favorite movie dude," Jerry looked dumbfounded, none the less we sat and watched them.

Bash sat next to me, Jerry and Mo took the armchair, I knew they were up to something, and making sure we were side by side didn't help either.

"Wit, Wit, wake up," groaning because I didn't want to get up and I didn't want to go to school pouting as I opened my eyes following the dark outline until my eyes meant with brown soulful, dreamy orbs, Bash!

"Shit! Sorry," I rushed to get up only to be stopped by his hand squeezing my shoulder gently.

"Stay," no idea why I listened to him and stayed there just lying on his chest listening to his heart, the soothing sound kept me from falling asleep again and I also couldn't concentrate on the movie not that I had seen it a million times.