The night was warm ♥️ filled with love and care i was on a journey to find how world works .... in this huge world i was into endless suffering that i forget how is it too be in pain ... Now Pain doesn't exist in my life .....

i was in the crowd singing and dancing with the people i met right now i was physically there but mentally i was lost in my. imagination..😱

every step that i walk every move i make. it was like a dead person who is no more than a zombie who only goes in urge for human flesh .... flesh that i want was sucess in my life 🤵 and my body only moved to full fill it failed to enjoy the crowd

Today ..15nov The day of dewali it was a festival where people make the night bright like the day fo fill the sky with stars which made every persons flutter and give warm smile but the year of 2020 was bad luck who hope to see the night sky shine ... Now

...people got drunk to enjoy there life to the fullest i was in the crowd trying to enjoy with them. trying to get myself drunk but i guess the alcohol also Quit on me because it was against me enjoying...

in that darkness i just trying to open my eyes

to live happy and smile when i saw the worst part of human kind ....we were all enjoying in a blink of eye everything changed like a monster who is trying to kill his prey he was fighting with his wife beating his wife like he never loved her .... The resultt of their love eyes filled with tears lost in the crowd

in the urge of love ..... looking at this i m even scared to look at a woman before get successful..i m scared that i might bocame that beast if i fail in my life

IT felt like they took me out of the coffin and made me a zombie and threw me in a cave where i urge for blood everytime ....

end of day i hate humans more .....

....

The next day will be out 2marrow wait for more

I know i m not good at darma or anything like that but all i know is death is a uncertain thing which can happen anytime ...

on the day of 16th November when i opened my eyes 👀 and went out of the door to see what suprise the new world would give me .....

i found that smile that glittered around the Night and A person who saved my bored time talking about her experience in life....has come to an end which no one would ever guessed..

i saw her child regretting for not taking good care of his mother when she lived. Tears filled my ❤️ heart but it never flowed out from my eyes because in the end i m more like the dead body laying out there.. mentally dead..

i walked by and saw people in pain loosing whom they loved. i knew how the pain was i lost so many people in my life also ....

Humans are strange no matter how they are at the daytime .. in the night 🌃they can drink and forget about the pain that they suffered and move on from next morning . all the pain that they have suffered are like a bad memory that they don't want to keep in mind but for me pain is only the thing that keeps me alive...

i sometimes thought i can end my pain if i end my life but i was wrong ,The pain only starts from there when people drink one sip of alcohol 🍾 and forget you like you never existed

on this day the thing i learned is we need to enjoy the pains and suffering in our life.it is only the thing that will keep you alive in the end when you have no more person to lose in your life...

.... thats how i m living...

" i was long dead before you knew me"

see you in the next day if i wake up tomorrow ....... uncertain

hello 🤩...

17th nov ..i guess i survived the night.No one or nth was meant to be permanent , today i m moving out of this place.

every one has to depart from the place they are while depar ting i don't feel sad because all my feelings went under depression 😢 i was like a zombie in the world waiting for car to pick me up. This journey gave me a brother,mother,and a father. i found my mother and father were important because they gave birth to me in this world. but when i learn to know this world if you are good you have unlimited numbers of parents....

today i packed my luggage and said bye to every person with a smile on my face 💗 with love and care they send me away

....

on my way the air touched my cheeks and blew my hair i felt like i was living but in the end i was only leaving .... from step to step from miles to miles i was moving away from the people who took care of me

i said to the place don't be sad i be here soon...... i requested the road please bring me here in the near future ....😐

from the window looking at the road moving backward me going forward to a. new place felt like i m drowning in ocean of sadness 🥺 but never the less i created a dust bin in my mind and deleted all the pain i was suffering by this time even pain couldn't do any thing to me

because i was mentally dead.....

pain of departure could bring me back to life in the end .....

as the new hell gate opened. to me with a. wellcome from the demons suffering out there ....

i be in the new level of hell 2marrow stay tunned