Since kid... Im always alone.

No one to talk to

No friends

Useless

Loser

Lifeless...

I was alone at the school backyard, watching ants and insects work together.

Suddenly, I felt a light tap in my shoulder. I looked behind, but there's no one.

???

Weird. Who was that? And why didn't I felt its presence? Im this kind of person who feels everybody's presence, they're careful or not, I'll always know if someone is around me.

The school bell rang, lunch is over and time to get back to classes.

What a boring day...

Finally, going home.

I rushed straight to my room and fwoom, jumped in my bed from a boring day. Im about to sleep but came a knock from my bed room door. Woah? Mom, how come your so early from work today?

I opened the door. No one...

Living room? No one...

Kitchen? No one...

Bathroom? No one...

Theres no one inside the house except me. What is this? Am I hallucinating things? From the back yard in school to my house, something is wrong with me.🥴

The night came, and my mom is finally home.

" How was your day sweetie? " asked my mom.

" Its all good mom, what's yours? " I dont want my mom to about me. I need to lie and smile all this times, from the pain Im always holding inside.

" Its also good sweetie. " She answered. " Oh, and about your fieldtrip, Im abou to have the fees- "

" Mom, I dont need feildtrip. " Yes, I wanted it so bad. So bad that I wanted to burst out from hearing she's about to complete the fees. But... I'll gain nothing from it, I'll never enjoy it. I dont have friends, I dont have anyone to talk to. I'll look like an idiot there, alone in a corner while everyone else is laughing and chattering. But most of all, I know everything is going hard since dad left, were in lack of money.

" But, everyone needs. Its the best part of the school, and best memories for friends. " Said my mom.

Best memories for friends? All of them are betrayal, all of them sucks. They'll just leave you alone after using you. Im just like a tool to them.

Deep Breath

" Mom, I dont want to go feildtrip, I dont need it. Besides, I'll be joining a party of my cousin the same day. Isn't relatives more important? " Im sorry mom, Im such a liar. All I said are lies, I know its bad. But...

" Oh, cousin? Tell your cousin a greeting from me too. Tell your cousin Im sorry I cant attend, I've been busy these days. " Replied my mom with a smile.

" Dont worry mom. Im sure she will understand. " I smiled back. " Im done eating... I'll go to my room now. Good night mom. " I kissed her in the cheeks.

" Good night dear. Sleep tight, dont let the bugs bite. " Said my mom.

" Dont worry mom, I'll clean my room tomorrow. " I chuckled.

She laughed with her beautiful and gentle face. A face full of love and worry for her daughter. Mom, Im sorry I lied to you all this times that Im always happy.

The next day came, and I cant believe Im late. I rushed out my door bringing my cup of juice.

Im late Im late!

Boom

I bumped to a guy, spilled my orange juice to his uniform.

Oh shit.

" Im really really really sorry sir. I- It was an accident- uhmm- " I said, muttering.

" Its oka- "

" Oh shoot, its already start of the classes. I- " I pulled out a paper and pen in my bag, wrote my number and gave it to him.

" Just contact me how much you want! " I said, then run away.

I opened the door in my class, " Sorry teacher Im late! "

" 15 minutes late, detention for 30 minutes later. " said my teacher.

" Yes teacher. ಠ◡ಠ " I went to my seat. And started thinking about the guy I just bumped to. How much money will he take?

The door banged open, " Sorry teacher Im late! "

This guy-

" How old are you to spill a juice on your uniform? " asked my teacher.

The whole class giggled.

While I was just staring surprisingly at him, cant believe were classmates.

" Teacher I just bumped- " the guy suddenly caught my eye. Oh no, did he realized it was me? " I just bumped to a cute girl, on my way. " He said

ರ_ರ cute girl? Who was that?

" Sigh... Children these days... I guess your the new student, please introduce yourself to everyone. " Ordered my teacher.

" Im Nathan Abrigo, 16, from California. Lets be friends everyone! " He said with a gentle smile.

" Well, nice to meet you Nathan, please be seated at the back. "

At the back?! Beside me?! ಠ‿ಠ

He seated beside me, and I who's trying to hide my face 🌚

" Nathan, you have extra clothes? "

" I forgot to bring one. " He scratched his head.

There! Maybe I can hand my spare clothes to him, and... apologize to what just happened.

Lunch...

Bringing spare clothes, and looking for guy named Nathan... where is he?

" Sigh... I hope he can accept my apology. " I murmured.

" Who? " Someone whispered near my ear.

I felt a shiver down my spine. I turned around-

" You?! " I said, while my face is is flustered to what he just did.

" Ahaha, your red as a tomato, are your ears that sensitive? " He chuckled.

" I-Im fine. " I shaked my head, clearing myself. " Anyway, Im sorry for spilling my juice to your uniform, here are some spare clothes, please accept is as an apology. " I said.

" Thanks! Oh and- I dont know your name yet... " He said.

" Call me Deethra. Weird name, right? " I replied.

" Not weird, its beautiful.... nice to meet you, lets be friends. " He muttered, with a big gentle smile.

Friends?

I run away without saying anything. I dont need a friend... all of you are bastards!

I baldly feel sorry, for turning away without answering his question. But I cant help running away. Im really sorry for turning you down. I dont need friends, I also dont need you, sorry...

Am the last one left in the classroom. I was about to leave when a classmate asked me a favor.

" Hi Deethra, would you mind doing me a favor. " Said Angie.

" Yeah? " I said, sounding bored or whatever I know what's she up to.

" Thanks, please clean the classroom for me. " The she ran away.

-_- Duh......

" Hi Deethra! "

I looked to the man who mentioned my name.

" Na-Nathan, need something? "

" Ah, I was just hoping we could go home together, since were neighbors. "

Neighbors?ರ_ರ

"You bumped into me just infront of your house remember? Next to the right is mine. We could talk by the window anytime!😄 " reminded Nathan.

" So? " I said it in a tone, pretending not to care.

" Let me help you cleaning... " He offered.

" Ah! No thank you, I can do it. You should go back home now, I'll walk with you next time. "

" Walk together with me next time? Promise? " He raised his pinky.

" sigh... " I raised my pinky. " I promise. "

And made a pinky promise.

Walking home together... doesn't sound so bad...

I went in my room, surprised with a little gift in my bed. I opened it up, and found a dress.

I read the letter mom sticked beside it.

Remember to wear this dress at your counsin's birthday party okay? Its my most precious gift to you... designed by your dad, before he passed away.

I felt my tears dropped... this lie I made was horrible... I made her worry too much, and give me this dress, worth a million, made by my own dad, mom.... why didn't you realized it was a lie? All our relatives hates us because of our past... why would they be kind all of the sudden, when dad just died, blaming it to both of us?

Its useless... theres no party and theres no cousin. No birthday gift to send and no one to greet to. Why give this dress now?

Phone ranged....

I wipe my tears....

A phone call? Who would call me this days? Mom?

I checked the name of the caller, but I dont know who...

" Hello? " I said.

" Ah! Deethra! I taught you'll not pick up the phone... I had few miscalls... to you, saw it? " Nathan said over the phone

" Wait! How did you know my number!? " 😲

" Don't you remember. you gave it to me the first day we met? "

Flashbacks started in my head, my face turning red at the same time...

Im such an idiot

" So why did you cal Mr. Nathan? Need anything? " I replied. Wiping my tears.

" Nah, I was just worried seeing yu crying there alone. "

I was surprised.

I quickly face to the window, saw him staring at me.

" Are you okay Ms. Deethra? " He asked over the phone, making a gentle smile.

" I- I- Im ok... " I was hiding my face under the bed sheet. Thinking why did I let anyone see me cry like a baby. Gosh... your gonna be laughed at again.

" Hey, are you really okay? " He asked again.

" Im fine, anyway... I need to hang up now. " I replied.

" Sure... but Deethra? "

" Yeah? "

" Dont cry again... okay"

Those words... made me smile.

" Yeah..." I replied, then hang up.