It's been three months since I've seen him...with his bunny smile and kindness. but then it all disappeared...he could've got anyone he wanted. But he wanted me', I who was broken and couldn't be fixed at the time, i who was lonely and desperate. I never could tell anyone about what i was going through. Everyone always said i have a medium house and two parents i should be fine. But they don't understand. My parents are never home so i can't tell them I've always been bullied and don't have friends. Well, until jungkook i had no one to tell, and for me to finally get out what if been holding was a relief. Maybe i told him too much about me then...when i told him that i had feelings for him, he didn't say anything and we didn't talk for a couple days. Then monday he suddenly asks me to be his boyfriend..i always find myself wondering what he was thinking at that moment, and if what he felt for me was real...*heh* but i guess i know that already, he never really loved me. I told myself everyday that him just liking me would be enough, i guess it wasn't enough for me cause he didn't even like me. I guess i should've seen that coming. Who could love someone as hurt as me. I still wanted him even though he left me, i still can't shake what he said away. His words still burning in my mind. " I only stayed because my parents were friends with your parents. Now I'm free of all of your feelings and depression...I'm leaving" All I ever thought about when we were together was what i could do to change myself...was i enough? am i too fat?is it because i wear glasses and sweatshirts?? I really tried to change so he would stay with me, but in the end he left me anyways. Why is it always me who has to suffer and feel bad about myself??? why can everyone else be happy while i have to be depressed...why couldn't I be a normal kid like everyone else? I don't have any friends, jungkook left me, now the bullies at school were starting to hit me again. Jungkook, he never talks to me or sits by me anymore he has even been bullying me. Everyone at school calls me gay and disgusting. I don't know why they would hate me, why am i in trouble for loving a person no matter the gender. It's the same as being straight. We all love someone and cherish them...so why can't i do the same!!!! I-i loved him and now because of m-me being stupid he left m-me....since no one cares for me anymore why should i keep on living...w-why do i have to be in pain?? i won't ever be hurt again if i do this right?? *goes into bathroom and locks it* I-i love you mom, dad...i'm sorry...**fills bathtub* I won't be around anymore....* takes off clothes and gets into the water* I really wish i could've spend my last breath holding jungkook tightly...........

To be continued.....bye❤

I always feel like i'm drowning\, suffocating\, in this cruel world full of people who only see you and think shame. I can't help but think that when people are nice to me that they just want to use me or fool me. It's been like this for awhile and i'm so tired of pretending i'm fine\, who should i pretend for? my friends family? well it's sad to say but i really don't have any of those. My family tries to avoid me i think\, everything was fine on the first day of high school. I had met one friend that day and i thought wow he's handsome\, his eyes were a beautiful brown\, his hair was a bit curled\, and his smile was as wide as a galaxy.  Kim Taehyung was the name of my first friend in high school and also my first crush. On a boy that is\, taehyung was the first person i met at school and he showed me around the school. After a few weeks we became best friends and i-i thought that he liked me back. I confessed to taehyung with a love letter from the school printer and i somehow left a paper behind. One of the school bullies found the letter and read it out to everyone including taehyung. I ran home crying before i even heard taehyung's response and i stayed home from school for a week to find out taehyung moved to a school in Daegu where he once lived. Since the whole school found out i'm gay they avoid or pick on me. There are other gay people in the school but\,    they hide it or don't say anything to avoid being picked on. After four months the bullies still bullied me\, but it got better than before. In December our class got notified of a new student from the school of Busan i was surprised yet happy someone from busan is coming to our school. I was still scared the other students would tell the person i was gay and then they wouldn't want to go near me. I later found out that the student would arrive Monday and i would be their escort around the school. At that time i didn't care who it would be girl or boy\, I just wanted a friend. That night i found out it was a boy i would be escorting and i suddenly got reminded of taehyung and got goosebumps. In reality i was afraid of the same thing happening again and i couldn't let it happen to me. I stayed up all night thinking about the boy and i decided to not fall in love with him. But of course i knew that my heart was uncontrollable and fragile. This was it\, this was the day i would meet him\, the boy who i would show around the school that was dangerous and cruel. Now since i'm saying this i should feel bad for this kid\, i wish i could skip school everyday but i just can't let myself down. I walked to school this morning instead of riding the bus in hopes that the new student got showed by someone else but no. As i walk into the principles office i see a boy with brown hair and doe eyes that sparkled like diamonds. As i thought that i scolded myself to get that thought out of my head. (jimin this is how it happened last time you'll get hurt) I still didn't know what to do\, on the outside i was calm but on the inside i was screaming. How could someone look this good? After thinking that i heard a sweet soft voice. (New Student): Hi my name is jungkook\, jeon jungkook but you can call me anything*smiles*. And from that moment i didn't want to be fooled but i didn't want to be mean. Jm: *smiles* Hi\, i-i'm Jimin park. *shakes hands* JK: jimin\, i like that......The End