Remember Caesar
1
LORD WESTON is seated by the fireplace, a table of books📚 and papers🗒 beside him, talking.Downright is seated MR ROGER CHETWYND, a thin, earnest, absent-minded, and conscientious young person. So conscientious is he that his mind🧠, even when absent, is absent on his employer’s business. He has begun by listening to his master’s lecture, but the lure of his work has been gradually too much for him, and he is now blissfully copying from one paper on to another while the measured words flow over him, his lips forming the phrases while he writes.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Roger, it is not alone a question of duty; there is your own success in the world to be considered. It is not your intention to be a secretary all your life, is it? No. Very well. Diligence, and a respect for detail should be your care. I did not become Lord Weston by twiddling my thumbs and hoping for favours. I won my honours by hard work and zealous service. Today, I am the best-known, and certainly the most impartial, judge in England,and a favoured servant of his gracious majesty, Charles the Second. That, I submit, my good Roger, is an example to be studied. It is now only unbecoming in you to ask for a half-holiday, but it is greatly unlike you. I fear….
He has turned towards his secretary, and discovers his misplaced diligence. After a pause, coldly🥶
Lord Weston aka Richard
Can it be, Mr Chetwynd, that you have not been listening to my discourse?
(brought to the surface by the cessation of the word music):
Roger Chetwynd
What, my lord? Oh, no. Yes, certainly, sir, I am listening.
Lord Weston aka Richard
What was I talking of?
Roger Chetwynd
Yourself, sir. (amending) I mean, of your rise to success, my lord.
(It is apparent that it is an oft-heard tale.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
We were talking of your extraordinary request for a half-holiday, when you had one only last month. Would it be straining courtesy too far if were to inquire what prompts this new demand
for heedless leisure?
Roger Chetwynd
: I thought perhaps if you did not need me this afternoon, my lord, I might personally interview the clerk of the Awards Committee, and find out why he has not sent that document.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Oh, Oh, indeed.
Roger Chetwynd
The lack of it greatly hinders. It holds up my work, you see. And at this most interesting point….
(His glance goes longingly to his desk.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
That, of course, is a different matter. I see no reason why you should not take a walk to Mr.Clay’s in the afternoon if the weather is fine. I am relieved that your thoughts are on sober matters, as befits a rising young man.Diligence,courage, and attention to detail: these are the three.Roger! I said, what day of the month is it?Roger! I said, what day of the month is it? to excel in any of the learned professions.
(He has found a scrap of paper, rather crushed, in his pocket and smooths its out, uninterestedly, to make a rough spill)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Detail, my good Roger, attention to detail. That is the beginning of greatness. That is the…..
(reading automatically and with some difficulty what is written on the scrap of paper)
Lord Weston aka Richard
‘Remember Caesar’
(Repeating, with vague interest. He turns the paper back and forth, at a loss. And then a new idea occurs to him, a rather horrible idea. To ROGER)
Lord Weston aka Richard
What is the date to-day?
(As ROGER, buried again in his work, does not answer)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Roger! I said,what day of the month is it?
Roger Chetwynd
It is the fifteenth,my lord.
Lord Weston aka Richard
The fifteenth! The fifteenth of March. The Ides of March!
(Looking at the paper again; in a horrified whisper)
Lord Weston aka Richard
‘Remember Caesar’!
Lord Weston aka Richard
So they want to kill me, do they? They want to kill me?
(ROGER comes to the surface, surprised😱.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
That is what it is to be a judge over men
(all his pompousness is dissolving in agitation😡)
Lord Weston aka Richard
an instrument of justice. Sooner or later revenge lies await in the by-ways. And the juster a judge has been, the more fearless
(he waves the paper in the astonished ROGER’s face)
Lord Weston aka Richard
so much greater will be the hate that pursues –
Roger Chetwynd
What is it, my lord? What is it?
Lord Weston aka Richard
My death warrant if I am not careful. What cases have we had lately? The treason affair – I refused to be bribed!
(The boast gives him a passing comfort.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
The piracy – both sides hate me for that. Or there was that footpad –
Roger Chetwynd
Is it a threat, the paper? Where did it come from?
Lord Weston aka Richard
It was in my pocket. Someone must have …. Yes, now I remember. A man brushed against me yesterday as I was leaving the courts. A small, evil-looking fellow, very shy.
Roger Chetwynd
What does it say, the paper?
(much too occupied with his own fate to attend to his secretary’s curiosity)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Just at the door, it was, and he didn’t wait for an apology. I remember. Well, I can only thank them for the warning. I may die before my time but it will not be to-day if I can help it. Go downstairs at once, Roger, and lock, bar and chain all the doors. And ask my wife to come to me at once. At once. Stop! Are there any strangers in the house? Work men or such?
Roger Chetwynd
Only Joel the gardener, my lord; he is cleaning the windows on the landing.
(He indicates with his head that Joel is just outside.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Send him away at once. Tell him to leave everything and go and lock the door behind him. And the windows – see that the windows, too, are closed.
(facing the cupboard with a levelled pistol🔫)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Come out! Come out! I say.
Lord Weston aka Richard
Drop your weapon and come out or I shall shoot you now.
(As there is still silence he forces himself to close in on the cupboard door, and standing
to the side pulls it quickly open. It is empty. As soon as his relief abates he is ashamed, and hastily returns the pistol to its drawer.)
(Enter, bright and purposeful, LADY WESTON. A charming creature. One knows at a glance that she is an excellent housewife, but to the last one is never sure how much intelligence and sweet malice there lies behind her practical simplicity.)
2
(looking back as she comes in)
Lady weston aka Frences
i do wish that Joel wouldn’t leave pails of water on the landing! What is it, Richard?
Lord Weston aka Richard
My dear, your husband’s life is in grave danger.
Lady weston aka Frences
The last time it was in danger you had been eating game pie. What is it this time?
(annihilating her flippancy with one broadside):
Lord Weston aka Richard
Assassination!
Lady weston aka Frences
Well, well! You always wanted to be a great man and now you have got your wish!
Lord Weston aka Richard
What do you mean?
Lady weston aka Frences
They don’t assassinate nobodies.
(showing her the paper🗒):
Lord Weston aka Richard
Read that, and see if you can laugh.
Lady weston aka Frences
I’m not laughing.
Lady weston aka Frences
What a dreadful scrawl
Lord Weston aka Richard
Yes, the venomous scribbling of an illiterate.
Lady weston aka Frences
‘Remember Caesar’. Is it a riddle?
Lord Weston aka Richard
It is a death warrant. Do you know what day this is?
Lady weston aka Frences
Thursday.
Lord Weston aka Richard
What day of the month?
Lady weston aka Frences
About the twelfth, I should guess
Lord Weston aka Richard
(with meaning): It is the
fifteenth. The fifteenth of March.
Lady weston aka Frences
Lawdamussy! Your good sister’s birthday🎉! And we haven’t sent her as much as a lily!
Lord Weston aka Richard
I have deplored before, Frances, the incurable lightness of your mind. On the fifteenth of March, Caesar was murdered in the Forum.
Lady weston aka Frences
Yes, of course, I remember. They couldn’t stand his airs any longer.
Lord Weston aka Richard
he was a great man.
Lady weston aka Frences
Yes, my dear, I am sure he was.
(Looking again at the scrap of paper)
Lady weston aka Frences
And is someone thinking
of murdering you?
Lord Weston aka Richard
Obviously.
Lady weston aka Frences
I wonder someone hasn’t done it long ago.
(Before the look of wonder can grow in his eye)
Lady weston aka Frences
A great many people must hate judges. And you are a strict judge, they say
Lord Weston aka Richard
It is the law that is strict. I am a judge, my good Frances, not a juggler. I have never twisted the law to please the mob, and, I shall not please them by dying on the day of their choice.
Lady weston aka Frences
No, of course not. You shall not go out of the house to-day. A nice light dinner and a good glass of –
Lord Weston aka Richard
I have sent Roger to barricade all the doors, and I think it would be wise to close the ground floor shutters and see that they are not opened for any –
Lady weston aka Frences
is it the French and the Dutch together you are expecting! And this is the morning. Mr.Gammon’s boy
Lord Weston aka Richard
My dear, is a little pepper🌶more to you than your husband’s life?
Lady weston aka Frences
It isn’t a little pepper, it’s a great deal of flour. And you would be the first to complain if the bread 🍞were short, or the gravy thin.
(Giving him back the paper)
Lady weston aka Frences
How do you know that the little paper was meant for you?
Lord Weston aka Richard
Because it was in my pocket. I found it there when I was looking for something to light my pipe. (With meaning) There were no spills.
Lady weston aka Frences
No spills. What, again?
Richard, you smoke 🚬far too much.
Lord Weston aka Richard
It was slipped into my pocket by a man who brushed against me yesterday. A dark, lean fellow with an evil face.
Lady weston aka Frences
I don’t think he was very evil.
Lord Weston aka Richard
What do you know about it?
Lord Weston aka Richard
Stop, Frances, stop!
It upsets me to
(Enter ROGER a little out of breath after his flying tour round the house.)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Ah, Roger. Have you seen to it all? Every door barred, every window shut, all workmen out –
3
Roger Chetwynd
(a little embarrassed): Every door except the kitchen one, my lord.
Lord Weston aka Richard
(angry): And why not the
kitchen one?
Roger Chetwynd
(stammering): The cook seemed to think…. That is, she said…..
Lord Weston aka Richard
Well, speak, man, what did she say, and how does what the cook thinks affect my order to bar the kitchen door?
Roger Chetwynd
(in a rush): The cook said she was a respectable woman and had never been behind bars in her life and she wasn’t going to begin at her age, and she was quite capable of dealing with anyone who came to the kitchen door –
Lord Weston aka Richard
Tell her to pack her things and leave the house at once.
Lady weston aka Frences
And who will cook your pet dishes? I shall also see that all the downstairs windows are shuttered as you suggest. We can always haul the groceries through an upper window
Lord Weston aka Richard
(controlling himself): I think
that so frivolous a suggestion at so anxious a time is in poor taste, Frances, and unworthy of you –
Lady weston aka Frences
Did it appear frivolous to you? How strange! I had thought it odd to shutter the walls and yet leave openings in the roof that one could drive a coach and horses through. However!
(She comes back into the room, takes two candelabra from different places in the room, and goes to the door).
Lord Weston aka Richard
What do you want with these?
Lady weston aka Frences
If we are to be in darkness below we shall want all the candles 🕯we can gather.
Lord Weston aka Richard
The aptness of the female
mind to busy itself about irrelevant and inconsiderable minutiae is a source of endless wonder to me.
(Almost without noticing what he is doing he moves over to the fireplace and sticks his head into the chimney to view the width of it. As he withdraws it, he becomes aware of ROGER, standing watching).
Lord Weston aka Richard
I see no reason now why you should not resume your work, Roger.
Roger Chetwynd
Oh, my lord, it is beyond my power to work while you are in danger. Is there not something I could do?
Lord Weston aka Richard
(mightily flattered): Nonsense, my good Roger, nonsense Nothing is going to happen to me.
Roger Chetwynd
I could perhaps go and warn the authorities, and so prevent–
Lord Weston aka Richard
(very brave): No, no, no. Am
I to spend the rest of my life with a guard at my heels? Go on with your work and…
(his eye has lighted on a package which is lying on a chair against the right wall. The box is oblong – roughly 18 in. by 10 in. by 4 in. – and tied with cord. Sharply)
Lord Weston aka Richard
What is this?
Roger Chetwynd
That came for you this morning, sir.
Lord Weston aka Richard
What is it?
(with the faint beginnings of doubt in his voice):
Roger Chetwynd
I don’t know, my lord. A man came with it and said that it was important that you should have it to-day
Lord Weston aka Richard
: And you didn’t ask what it
was! You fool!
Roger Chetwynd
(humbly): It didn’t seem to be my business. I never do ask about the contents of your lordship’s…. I showed your lordship the package when it came, and you said to leave it there.
(peering with growing uneasiness at the thing):
Lord Weston aka Richard
The man who brought it, what did he look like? Was he small? Dark?
Roger Chetwynd
(who obviously had taken no notice): I think he was smallish. But as to dark – his hat was pulled over his face, I think - I think he appeared to have a mole on his chin, but I would not …. It may have been just a –
Lord Weston aka Richard
A mole?●
(his imagination at work)
Lord Weston aka Richard
A mole ! Yes. Yes. That man had a mole. The man who brushed against me. On the right side of his jaw. I can see it as if he were standing here. We must get rid of this. At once
Roger Chetwynd
Do you think it is some infernal machine, sir? What shall we do with it?
(indicating the side window)
Lord Weston aka Richard
Open the window and I shall throw it as far into the garden as I can.
Roger Chetwynd
But it may explode, sir, if we
throw it.
Lord Weston aka Richard
What is certain is that it will explode if we do not! How long has it been lying here?
Roger Chetwynd
It came about nine o’clock, my lord.
Lord Weston aka Richard
(in an agony): Nearly three hours ago! Open the window, Roger.
Roger Chetwynd
No, sir. You open the window. Let me handle the thing. My life is nothing. Yours is of great value to England.
Lord Weston aka Richard
No, Roger, no. You are young. I have had my life. There are still great things for you to do in the world. You must live, and write my life for posterity. Do as I say. I promise you shall exercise the greatest care.
(As ROGER rushes to the window)
Lord Weston aka Richard
No. Wait. A better idea. The
gardener’s pail. It is still on the landing!
Roger Chetwynd
Yes! Yes, of course!
(He is out of the room and back in a moment with the wooden pail of water, which still has the wet cleaning rag hung over its edge.)
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