For some it’s a bane, for some its more pleasured memory of life for me it is my best memory in form of my worst nightmare.I want to forget about all those memories they haunt me .they never let me sleep. Those memories catch my breathe but I can never overcome those memories when I stand on balcony I can sense you in ruthless wind, I can imagine you in infinity sky, I can see you smiling in brutal flower, I can touch you in blaze of snow fall

My life became completely messed in these 3 month.I always question myself why? Why ? Why ? You made me like this. How can you do this with me . Do you think I can live like this after i killed the person whom I liked the most in the world .do you really hate me this much. Of course you hate me that’s why you made me do this. I wanna kill myself !! How can live without you . How can I live with the thought that I killed you .this is nightmare for me I want to wake up but there is no one who can wake me ..you told me that you love me but you never that’s why you left me all alone to endure this. I just wished for a perfect small love life with you.. but you gave me unpredicted love. I hate myself to the death I even hate my shadow I hate my reflection I hate my heart,I hate the fact that I am living that I am breathing when you are not hear. I can’t endure this anymore I want to die but I can’t. Why?why?why?why this has to be with m. You have promised to stay with me forever but you got fed up with me in just 3 month how can you leave like this after making my life so messed

3 month ago :

I hate vacations because I have to go home for vacations I just hate it at the age of 10 I just throw a heck all over the house because I want to go the city for my further studies. I don’t want to stay in house I want to go far and far away I never got any family connections with my family even though I have a father, a step mother, half bother and a grand father. I used to have a dog (robin)

Robin is only member with whom I have spend my most the childhood and share memories. But after robin died I have no reason to go.ahh!!what should I do.

Edam …..Edam ….Edam……(Alex call awaking me from my thoughts)

What!!! why are shouting?? I can hear. What’s the matter?

Hey!why are you so angry? It was you who was daydreaming

Stop it guys there you go again.

A voice interrupted it was mela stop it guys why are you always fighting we have more important issue to discuss where should we go for vacations and most importantly we have this year topic as nature falls .. oh no …my inner me says out of all three only my hometown have something like that I really don’t wanna go home I just don’t I don’t wanna face them please please …. Mela call me( ohh no holy crap she will definitely suggest to go my home town my inner me) lets go to yours few second later right.. alex says well I don’t have choice lets go. Hey! Why are you always like this on this topic grow up after all you all are family

To be continued.....

Well now I think this decision is both best and Worst Decision of my life I ever made

On the way of trip we have to cross lots of mini forest actually they are not forest they are something that left behind from humankind my hometown actually don’t have large population it just have handful families so they all come to know each other

We have taken a break from because of the pavement we just can’t sit anymore. Omg wow mela said. I smiled and moved. I suddenly notice the voice of stream I followed the voice there were a stream I never noticed that it is present maybe because I haven’t came back in while. But suddenly I noticed something more beautiful than steam a girl I don’t know what so special about her but I just can’t take my eyes off she os totally opposite of my taste but still i can’t take my eyes off she is short dressed in light colored with normal length hair no makeup unlike mela with rossey cheek maybe the way her hair float in air because of wind I have imagined the emptiness in air that surrounds me its like all the air stops near her I felt difficulty in breathing. Edam! Alex call I turned back he says what re u doing here I turned to take a look on her but she disappears in thin air I searched for her with anxiety look but I couldn’t find alex says again what happen (i wish I could kill him ..my inner me ) nothing I replied lets get going

We reached my house (I have just thought about her on my own way but that damm road always distract me)

They all rushed in .. but i am still mesmerized by her bueaty i always thought how can beauty attract people but i really dont know if its beauty i am attracted to or what it is ...

But if i give it a second thought i think its her simplicity and decency which attract me most in most simple clothes with sunshine covering her face like it had been kissed by sun she look beautiful .

If i ever get the chance i want to meet him ... Edam ! Alex call again ( i really wanna kill him , he always distrub me ) . Yah! Coming ..

With all i entered the house. We all eat lunch we all was really hungry and craving for food . I was regretting all the way to come here but i dont thinks so i do the same now but still i cant stay at home for long as soon as i finised eating i was all ready to leave , i left with excuse of fresh air alex and mela was all tired due to road and traveling so they left for some rest

I was just taking a walk near the wood and then i saw her again she was sitting with a rabbit playing so innocently with it i found her more adorable than rabbit

Then we just have a eye contact i can fell she is afraid of something but i cannot gusse i can see that in her hers they are as clear as cystal. I take a step toward her , she backed off .

To be continued..........