Pregnant.

Have you ever stared at a word for so long that the letters begin to merge together, blurring in your vision?

The hold I have on the white stick that has changed my life forever tightens and I feel my knuckles tense with the pressure. My eyes drift across the test result before flickering over to my boyfriend, Jake Melvin. He's watching me with fear in his usually bright blue eyes. His face drains of colour and he remains frozen to the spot —

"What does it say?" Jake murmurs quietly as his entire family stands in the doorway of the bathroom in complete shock, too stunned to speak. I don't need to look back down at the result to double check, the word will forever be carved in my mind.

"It's positive," I whisper in response, watching as the colour completely drains from his face. He stares back at me in complete shock and I continue trembling, unable to hold back my emotions.

"I'm pregnant." I add in disbelief, the words sounding foreign on the tip of my tongue. Jake and I are barely adults. . . How can we be responsible for an entire other human being?

"You should do another test. . . incase it's wrong." Jakes mother, Michelle says to me. I shake my head and hold up the test I'd took previously with the same result written on it.

"I've taken two. I'm definitely pregnant."

"Well damn." Tobias responds, breaking the silence. His dark eyes wonder over to me before flickering over to Jake who hasn't moved an inch. I turn to look at him, worrying thoughts filling my head.

"Jake?" I whisper, feeling a tear slide down my cheek. It rolls onto my bottom lip and I reach up, hastily wiping it away. Jake doesn't respond for several moments, too stunned to move or speak. Eventually he murmurs four words under his breath, darting out of the bathroom and down the stairs. I hear the front door bang and his presence immediately disappears. His words continue to repeat over and over again in my head —

"I need some space."

*****

Jake's POV -

I pace through the dark streets, my mind a bundled up mess of confusion. The image of Emily crouched down on the bathroom floor holding the pregnancy test is etched inside my mind and I can't shake it from my thoughts. . .

I'm going to be a father.

My own left me when I was young and I'd grown up without a father figure. I'd recently left a gang that controlled my life for years and I was still recovering from the traumatic events of the past few months. My life isn't stable and definitely not stable enough for a child . . .

"Wrong timing. Complete wrong timing." I mutter to myself, running a hand over my face. My feet involuntarily takes me to a small area where I spent most of my childhood. As I turn the corner, my eyes land on the small gated off park in front of me. As children, Tobias and I spent hours creating imaginary games in here.

Looking at it years later, I almost laugh at the simplicity of it. A double swing set and a beaten down rusted swing completes the park's entertainment source and I marvel at how children are able to create the best memories with the most basic of items.

I head over to the swing in the far corner, dropping down onto it. My mind wonders back to Emily and I feel my heart tighten inside my chest as I picture her worried expression. Her large brown eyes filled with fear and dread that I couldn't fix. . .

I bow my head, feeling the weight of the world land itself on my shoulders. I've only been with her for months but I already know she's the one. When you know, you know. It's the way your heart reacts when you're around them or at the thought of them. It's the flutters in my stomach when she touches me or smiles in my direction. I smile faintly in the dark night at the memories I'd already created with her.

I breathe in sharply, feeling the cold air circle through my lungs and allow me to breathe easier. I push back on the swing, bending my legs in an awkward position so they don't scrape along the floors.

"I hate tiny seats," I mutter under my breath.

"If you swing high, it won't matter."

I almost jump out of my skin and my head snaps to the sound of the voice. I squint in the dark, my eyes falling on a small figure crouched next to the bin. My eyes widen as I take in her petite form, shivering in the cold. It's almost 1am on Christmas morning. . .

What is a child doing outside in the cold?

"Hey," I say softly, not wanting to scare her away. I glance around worriedly, looking for her parents or an adult. The area is completely deserted.

"What are you doing out here on your own?"

"I'm playing," the little girl replies light heartedly, shuffling away from the bin. The street lamp above her illuminates her features and I immediately breathe in sharply as I study her.

She appears to be around four or five years old and dressed in a red knitted dress with a picture of a duck on the front. Despite the frostiness of the night air, she doesn't wear a coat or a hat to keep her warm. Her dark hair is wild and tangled but it's her face that causes me to freeze in awe.

Her complexion is warm with full lips and high cheekbones. Even at such a young age, I know she'll grow up to be beautiful. Her eyes are dark in the night light, large and protected with thick black lashes. She stares at me so innocently as I study her features, realising how much she reminds me of Emily. The resemblance is truly shocking. I stand up off the swing and lower my hood off my head.

My eyes never leave hers and the more I look, the more I feel drawn in and almost spun into a trance.

"Who are you?" I murmur, taking a small step forward before crouching down so I'm eye level with her. It's freezing conditions out here, no place for a child.

"I'm Ruby," she smiles at me, sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the bin. Her hands play with broken sticks in front of her.

"Hi Ruby, I'm Jake." I smile at her, overwhelmed with sadness. I shake my head at the sight of her, wondering where her parents are and how they haven't noticed her missing.

"Do you have a family Ruby? A home I can take you back to?" I ask. Ruby shakes her head, the smile never leaving her face. She draws circles in the mud by her feet and seems to be fascinated by them, her eyes following the action of her hand.

"Do you have a family?" She suddenly asks me, dropping the stick and staring at me deeply, brown eyes shining in the dark. I blink and take a step back, feeling her words hit me straight in the gut. A deep lump lodges itself inside my throat and I nod slowly, feeling uneasiness settle upon me. She's now watching me, her head tilted to the side and I frown at the aura around her. . .

Weird.

Goosebumps erupt over my arms and I shudder, feeling like her gaze is staring deep inside my soul. I stand up, swallowing the lump in my throat and put some distance between Ruby and I.

"What's wrong? Don't you like your family?" She asks me innocently, filling the silence between us. Her eyes are fixated on mine, never once blinking. My mind wander off to Emily and the baby she's carrying this very moment.

Do I want this baby? Am I ready to be a father?

Emily and I haven't spoken a word about a possible family together in the future. I know I definitely want kids but the thought of having one so soon makes it all too real for me. Emily's sweet face flashes through my mind, her large innocent brown eyes and full lips. The smile on her face as I make her laugh or blush. I smile at the image of her, still feeling the same excitement as when I first fell in love with her. I don't think I'd ever lose that feeling, it's too pure and rare to fade.

"No, I do like my family," I murmur. We may not have been together for years but every day I spend with Emily, we grow closer. Quickly she became my family, someone I couldn't imagine life without. I've confided in her, told her all of my secrets and tore down my walls to show her my vulnerable side. I love her unconditionally and open myself to be loved by her. I'll always protect her fiercely no matter what.

"So what's the problem?" Ruby replies, frowning as she can't understand the dilemma I'm facing.

"I don't know if I'm ready," I reveal, the truth finally slapping me hard in the face. The little girl stands to her feet, dusting off her hands. Throughout her every move, her eyes never leave mine and I can't bring myself to look away either. Ruby gives me a small smile, large eyes sparkling brightly despite the darkness of the night —

"You are ready."

Her words are soft, warm. I frown as I realise she cant possibly have a clue what I'm talking about . . .

So why does it feel like she does?

I stare at her harder, my eyes studying her as I stand rooted to the spot. She seems to look amused at my reaction, her lips turning up further in a smile.

"Merry Christmas Jake," she says before turning and walking away into the dark, disappearing right before my eyes. Moments pass and I finally snap out of my daze, realising I need to find her before the temperature drops any further. Small snowflakes begin falling from the sky and litter my shoulders, melting to water.

"Ruby!" I yell out in the dark, following the path I saw her disappear down. It's completely deserted, no sign of a single soul. I feel my heart beat faster as I scan the area, desperately looking for the little girl who simply vanished into thin air.

How can that be possible?

Oddly I feel calm about the thoughts running through my head, my body relaxed and at peace. Ruby's words run through my mind as I eventually give up searching for her and walk home. I shake my head in confusion, feeling exhausted and drained from the day's events.

There is no way in hell I'll ever forget this Christmas Eve.

Jake's POV -

I slowly open the front door, careful not to make any noise. The hallway is deserted and I glance at the clock on the wall, it reads five am. I searched for Ruby for almost two hours before finally giving up, admitting defeat. There's something about her I can't quite figure out. . . It feels like I know the mysterious little girl.

I shudder from the cold air and shrug off my jacket, grateful to finally be out of the cold harsh winds outside. The Christmas tree in the living room is lit up brightly, guiding me easily through the dark. I take my shoes off and sigh heavily, running a hand over my face.

Do I talk to Emily or do I go straight to bed?

I'm shattered, exhausted. My body is weak and my mind craves sleep. I silently begin climbing the steps, feeling my body grow heavy with the idea of some much needed rest.

"Jake?"

I snap my eyes up to her as she stands on top of the stairs, dark bags underneath her eyes. I freeze on the step midway and look at her, really look at her. Her long dark hair tumbles past her shoulders, ending just above her waist. The same large innocent doe eyes that captured my heart months ago never fail to do the same to me now. Her eyelashes are thick, dark and long, only adding to her beauty. I breathe in sharply, unable to believe she's mine.

"Hey Muffin," I whisper, giving her a warm smile.

Her shoulders visibly relax and her eyes search mine desperately, looking for an answer. I reach out and travel my fingers down her bare arm, feeling her tremble. My hand travel further down until I intertwine our fingers together and squeeze gently to reassure her.

"I thought you were going to leave me," she whispers, hiding behind her hair. I shake my head, immediately bringing my other hand up to tilt her chin upwards. Sadness fills me from the pain in her words. I stare into her eyes, searching them —

"I'll never leave you Emily. I needed some space. You did just tell me I'm going to be a father," I chuckle unbelievably, not quite believing how the words sound coming from my lips.

"Does that mean you want to keep the baby?" Emily whispers and I frown, searching her eyes once again.

"That's our baby you have growing inside you. No matter how scared or surprised I am, I would never ask you to give up a healthy child." I say firmly, shaking my head. A worrying thought runs through my mind and I pause —

"Do you want to keep the baby?"

Emily remains silent and I feel an invisible hand wrap itself around my throat, squeezing. I didn't think she'd ever consider an abortion however we never really had the chance to speak about it. I wait patiently for her decision, feeling like my heart is ready to burst through my chest.

"I don't know. I'm so scared Jake." Emily replies eventually, looking at me wide eyed. I can see the terror in her eyes, the fear is practically seeping out of her. I nod silently, completely understanding how she's feeling right now.

"I'm scared too." I murmur, pulling her gently into my chest. She cuddles into me, the warmth of her body heating mine.

"Do you want to talk about it now? It's your choice Emily, I'm here for you."

"Can we sleep and talk about this tomorrow?" She mumbles her response into my shirt and I nod silently, stroking her hair.

"Of course, let's go to bed. We can think more clearly with a rested mind."

Emily nods, agreeing with me. Leading me by the hand, she walks into our bedroom and I use my free hand to shut the door behind us. I breathe a sigh of relief, feeling like I've locked out the weight of the world for just one night.

Tonight will be about us, no-one else.

I lead her towards the bed and she climbs up onto it, following me closely. As I lay back, I gently lie her between my legs and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She inhales deeply, placing her hands over mine as we both stare up at the ceiling. When I have her in my arms, everything in the world seems okay again.

"You're mine, right?" Emily whispers in the dark. I tighten my hold on her, leaning down to plant a firm kiss on the top of the head.

"Always."

She turns to look at me and my eyes flicker down to her full lips. I lean down and press mine against hers, the kiss slow but full of honesty and trust.

We both hold onto each other tightly, fearful that the severity of our problems would eventually tear us apart. They soon became a distant thought as I deepen the kiss, exploring her mouth with forceful passion. When she leans back, her eyes are full of concern and worry —

"What are we going to do?"

"Forget about it for tonight," I murmur, my palm resting against her cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into it. Silence falls upon us, the only sound of our laboured breathing filling the air. Eventually Emily leans up and kisses me again, her lips pressing against mine with force.

I breathe against her, my hands finding their way to caress her body. It's amazing how every night we spend together feels like our first. The electricity, butterflies and goosebumps.

Every single god damn time.

Emily's POV —

I wake up the next morning to the sound of the bedroom door squeaking open. Hesitantly, I open one eye and notice Tobias and Ivory poke their head around the door. I stifle a laughter, still half asleep as I notice the Santa hats on their heads that are currently flashing red and yellow. Beside me, Jake stirs in his sleep, oblivious to the Christmas cheer he's about to receive from his cousins.

"Merry Christmas!" Tobias and Ivory both scream loudly, jumping up and down. I laugh, reaching up to rub at my tired eyes. Jake almost jumps straight out of his skin, bolting upright in a protective pose.

"What the — " He yells, his blue eyes wide in surprise. Upon noticing his cousins, he groans and drops down onto the bed with his hand over his eyes.

"You're both adults!" Jake protests. Ivory and Tobias look at one another before shrugging.

"It's Christmas Day." Ivory responds, walking towards Jake before nudging him with her foot. Jake opens one eye, his face the definition of grumpy.

"What time is it?" Jake asks. Ivory glances down at her watch and grimaces, knowing he won't like the answer. Behind her, Tobias' smile fades and he removes his Santa hat.

"Come on man, we've had a rough few months. Let's enjoy Christmas together and be grateful for the family we have." Tobias says quietly, his eyes falling to the floor. My thoughts turn back towards the events of the last few months and I nod my head in agreement. A silence falls upon us before Jake clears his throat, standing from the bed.

I watch as he walks towards Tobias, embracing him.

"Merry Christmas T," Jake says firmly before walking back and hugging Ivory. I lean over to grab my dressing gown before wrapping it around me. When I step out of bed, all three of the Melvin family turn towards me with their arms outstretched.

"Come and join us." Jake smiles, his blue eyes searching mine. I feel a warmth spread through my chest as my eyes fall on each one of them. For different reasons, they've all become my family and I love them deeply.

"Merry Christmas everyone," I smile, walking towards them to embrace them tightly. Despite the Christmas joy in the morning, I can't help but think back to yesterday's news. My eyes briefly drop down to my stomach and I feel a lump lodge itself in my throat.

"Hey. . . Are you okay?" Tobias murmurs quietly under his breath as Jake and Ivory talk amongst themselves. I nod my head gingerly, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yes, let's just enjoy Christmas Day."

*****

"Emily? Are you almost ready?" Jake asks from outside the bedroom door. I finish putting in my earring, smoothing my dress down in the mirror.

"Almost!" I respond back. His bedroom door opens and he saunters in, fiddling with his shirt buttons. His blue eyes flicker up for a second and when they land on me, he pauses completely —

"What is it? Do I look okay?" I ask nervously, thrown off by his reaction. I settled on a simple form fitting baby blue dress. My hair is curled and falling in soft waves on my shoulders. I'd applied natural makeup with a nude lip, wanting to make an effort for the famous Melvin Christmas Dinner.

Jake's eyes roam over my appearance and he blinks, snapping himself out of the trance he's in.

"You look. . . beautiful." He breathes out. My shoulders sink in relief and I smile at him. He's wearing black suit pants with a tight fitting white shirt that highlights the structure and definition of his shoulders. His dark hair is combed backwards and he looks as handsome as ever.

"Thank you . . . You look divine in a suit." I tell him, throwing him a sultry smile. Jake grins, blue eyes shining in my direction as he takes slow steps towards me. His eyes roam down my body and back up again before flashing with approval. As he slides a hand around my waist, he leans down and whispers in my ear —

"Merry Christmas to me. . . "

I giggle and hold onto him, leaning my head back to look up into his eyes. Despite the light in them, I know something is troubling him deep down and it's bothering me too. It's difficult to pretend everything is okay when the future is so uncertain. . .

"Should we talk?" I whisper, searching his eyes for an answer. He remains silent for a few moments, thinking hard about his response. Before he makes a decision, a knock on the bedroom door interrupts us.

"Yes?" Jake says, turning his head to face the door. It's pushed open and Tobias appears in the doorway, his dark eyes falling on us.

"Dinner is almost ready. Mum wanted me to let you know so you're not late."

"We won't be late." Jake responds firmly. Tobias nods and ducks out of the door, disappearing. I breathe sharply, closing my eyes for a moment.

"My Pops is coming to the dinner, right?" I state, biting down on my lower lip. Jake nods slowly before sighing heavily —

"He's going to kill me when he finds out."

Grandad is fiercely protective and I know the news of the pregnancy will be a massive shock to him. I'm unsure on how he'll take it and begin to worry about him being angry or disappointed... I couldn't handle disappointing my Pops.

"He doesn't need to find out. . . Not yet. We don't have to tell anybody else until we figure it out for ourselves." I tell him. Jake leans forward, placing his hand on the back of my head before slowly inching forward and placing a kiss on my forehead.

"It's going to be okay Muffin."

"You don't sound so certain." I mumble into his shirt. I feel his body tense next to mine before he responds, his words quiet —

"I'll make sure of it."