My eyes drooped, giving way to hot undistilled tears. Frustration stared at me and suddenly everything became blank. My world was crashing right before me. My life's end had kissed me and I did nothing but stare.

As I walked back home on the sturdy road. Stealthily, I passed by the neighbors that celebrated. Some parents cheered their kids in front of their cabins and some by the roadside. But I was alone, drenched in the sudden awareness of my hideous fate.

I was overwhelmed by thoughts, so much that I did not notice my surrounding. In a bid to avoid any discussion; when I saw Mr Edmundo from afar, I changed my direction.

I cornered to the left turn that led to the woods. The pathway was scarcely trod because of the rugged landscape. There were no cabins close by, nor were there farm steads along the path.

I walked swiftly, combating with the thoughts in my head; then faster and faster. I began racing into the green valley, allayed with a beautiful scenery of hills, tall trees and grasses. I wished I could steal a little peace from this sublime environment.

I ran in the lonely woods with every strength in me. Only the sound of chirping of birds permeated the silence of my world and the ray of morning sun cutting through the foliage of Cedar and eucalyptus grove trees.

I breathed heavily, gasping for breath as if this was a compulsory marathon. Although exhausted, I kept running. In a short time I had gone a long distance into the woods. What could stop the bleeding of a wounded heart?

Boom ...

That was the sound of my body hitting the ground. A stump of a tree did the work, aided by my right foot. I fell face flat on the hard ground and that was the well defined end of my race.

I rustle passed some cover crops and broken twigs with navigating hands. I long seated on the ground resting my back on the base of a wild olive tree. I sat there for a while in an aim to reassemble the many scattered thoughts my head.

"What am I going to tell Mom... And dad! He will be so disappointed."

My eyes grew red and steamy grief had eroded every bit of sanity in me and it suddenly erupted into a loud trembling sob. I couldn't help it. I felt my world, crumbling into rumbles.

"Keren you failed, you failed again you always fail, you are a failure, I hate you I hate you Keren..."

I stopped to catch my breathe. Calmly, I continued scolding,

"You couldn't be like your sister, she made dad proud, all you know is to write bunch of rubbish, and eat lots of food. You are just stupid and insensitive...how! How could you do this! How!"

My voice trembled, with my mouth curved downward. I wept loudly beating myself in anger and hitting my legs on the ground. I wish I could scrape the pain off my flesh, I wish it was not true, I only wish.

A flood of tears had made my face wet and slightly pink. My brown hair was messy, with stray strands at all corners. I used both hands to move it backwards, before clasping my head, letting my elbows rest on my huddled up knees.

I was burning inside me, as though a volcano erupted in me. I felt the hurting, spiraling into a physical pain. It affected my dilated nostrils, hoarding the inflow of air.

"What am I going to do?" I worried.

The pain seem to regulate at a rather irregular pace. When I think of the circumstances surrounding my existence the pain intensified.

At one point, I grappled with the letter strangling it until it tore into two halves. Nevertheless, I was quick to stop myself from doing more. In my exhaustion, I couldn't tell when I laid there and slept peacefully for hours.

Hours later, I woke up to reality. It was airy and darker, I saw a few squirrels run passed me. I only wondered how many creatures must have passed by. I sluggishly picked myself off the ground and started my journey home. It was getting late and I had gone very far away.

The terrain seemed a little different from the familiar. The houses were no longer in sight. My searching eyes scrambled for the right route homeward.

The more I ambled forth the more confused I became. At each turn, I would convince myself that I was on the right track, sadly, in a short time, I realized that I wasn't. I thought of going back but the bushes had no tracks nor pathways.

As the day grew darker, I pretended I was not afraid. But the fear kept mounting in an ascending manner. I called out at the top of my voice as I moved around.

"Is anybody here!"

The echoes of my voice came back to it's source. "What do I do?" I worried.

I surveyed the scenery; there were overlapping hills and mountains. A dark waterfall buzzed a short distance away. I made my way on a grassy hill scanning further for a way. Then, my eyes glistened at the faint sight of a hill top house. "Thank God" I sighed in relief.

"This house would certainly be compass to lead me home." I thought as I swiftly dash towards it's direction.

I made my way through the tall bushes on the hilly terrain. I was grateful that my black joggers covered me well, else, the cuts and insects bites on my skin would have been intense. I kept walking faster and faster, not minding my waning strength.

On one side of the hill was a clean flowing cascade, surrounded by boulders. It was a lovely sight but at this point, I was in no mood to appreciate nature. The sky grew yellowish brown sending goosebumps over me, as it informed me of the coming twilight.

The closer I got, the more revealed was this impressive building. It had brown roof and tall trees around it. The outdoor lights from the building shone brighter as I got nearer. This gave me the needed encouragement to pace a wider distance.

Suddenly, I heard a hissing sound. I looked around but I saw nothing. The sound was less faint and it drew closer. I wondered what the source of the hissing was. Then a suddenly realization struck me as I turned see a long green creature crawling towards me. In a twinkled of an eye it dawned on me.

"Snake!" I screamed frantically.

Impelled by this fear, I pushed myself forward running twice faster than the speed of light.

"Help! Help!" I screamed while racing far passed my lingering shadow.

I ran breathlessly through the bushes until I reached a hedge fence. I was happy that I finally arrived the building. I leaned over the knee high hedge to rest, when I caught sight of a huge pitbull. It rushed towards me like a hungry lion.

"OMG not again!" I groaned, "Here I am, standing before the only living house and a dog is ready to devour me! What I'm going to do? Should I go back or should I stay?" I was trembling in fear.

I was sweating profusely. Just staring at the barking dog, sent a chill through my spine. God knows that I fear pitbulls, but I was determined to stay still. I couldn't possibly go back, not to a snake or something worse.

My hands were clenched in a fist beside me and I was panting, " Oh God help me."

I could pee on myself if this dog continued barking. "What do I do?"

The only space between the dog and I, was the hedge fence. I was sure it won't give the dog any trouble, jumping over it to get me. I looked around but no-one was forthcoming. The main building was a short distance away and my voice couldn't possibly outweigh the loud barking of this dog.

Then came the bold masculine voice striking through my ears, "Jasper! Jasper! Stop!" He called.

At the sound of his voice the black coloured pitbull recoiled to a humble, non-threatening position. It let it's tongue out dripping saliva as it stopped barking. Nonetheless, it's black, small eyes were firmly fixed on me.

I remained on the spot, slightly fidgeting as I cast my gaze forward, in search of the bearer of the voice. I called out.

"Hello!"

There was no response, just footfalls. The sounds grew louder at each stride. Within seconds, he approached me. At that time, it was dark, but I could see clearly his tall muscular figure, wrapped loosely in a short sleeve blue shirt and a pair of jeans.

When he drew closer, I tilted my head forward so I could see his face. My eyes widened as it uncovered the fact that, he was a known person.

"You?!" We spoke at the same time.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine."

In an instant, my self-conscious instinct was ignited. "It could have been anyone, not him." I lamented in under my breathe.

I irked the shame that my newest crush was staring at me in the weirdest possibly situation. I stretched my legs, supporting my weight with my hands pressed on the hedge, as I crossed to his side.

"Be careful." He warned, extended a hand of help.

"Yes, I got it!" I said and inched closer.

As unconventional as it was, I was standing before Mr Addison, the son of my dad's boss. I quickly let out a "Hi," He had no difficulty recognising me at all, he even remembered my named!

"Keren...ha..p..." He stuttered. When he saw pronouncing my name was not working, he just continued.

"What are you doing here?!" He sounded rather amazed than confused.

He glanced around making sure I was alone. He turned to me, with one hand on his flank and another gesturing the "what" sign.

"I was ...I was kind of... lost." I stuttered, blinking twice faster.

Those words practically escaped my mouth. Certainly, it was not a reasonable explanation for my presence. I wrapped my hands together, as I gazed downward avoiding eye contact. Somehow he was wise enough not to wait for any comment from me.

"lost? ..." he shook his head in disbelief, tapping his nose for a second. Then added,

"Alright! Come with me, I'll take you home. perhaps, we can talk when it's convenient for you" He stretched his hand forward showing the way.

Without a word I follow him, marking my steps by his short strides. I glanced at myself, and I was disappointed. My yellow T-Shirt had grown into a lighter shade of brown.

Dried leaves and tenacious weeds had stuck to my hair and my dusty black joggers. My feet was clung with mud, turning my grey flip-on into a darker shade of grey. I subtly picked some of this debris off my hair. If I could see a mirror now, I'm sure I would look like a fish vomit.

I walked beside him turning my attention to my surrounding, I could see the impressive mansion on my left side. It glimmered in the young night like an auspicious star. The white bulbs around it, shone brightly from fanciful lamp holders.

There were stylish sculptures on different sides of the building. Some of which held flowers, while, some were only useful for the sensation it gave when viewed.

The building was large, spreading on the slopy hilltop. Due to this gully surface, it was easy to get confused as to whether you were on the top or the ground floor.

I looked down towards the far left and saw a well lighted swimming pool in the shallow valley. The still water shimmered like blue sea, with reflections of the building, and an arrayed silver-grey lounge chairs beside the pool.

This section of the house was connected to the garden which I was walking on by a curvy stairway. The stairway ascended to the walkway which I was walking on. And it was aligned with a set of Bugamvilia, Myrtle, larkspur and other flowers, giving the stairway a breath-taking sight.

I cast my gaze across the pool, towards the left wing of the building. There were close knitted tall trees. I couldn't say for sure what sort of trees they were, but in my opinion, it was rather unsafe to leave them that tall and in proximity to the building.

All this time, I had managed to subdue my awe for this place. I loved talking by nature. I only wished my sister was with me, and in a more convenient situation. The beauty of this mansion would be a good topic to decipher.

Mr Addison had been unusually quiet, I wondered. could it be I was too distracted to notice his countenance? When I looked forward I saw that I was way behind him.

He and the dog were standing in the middle of the garden, by a fine sculpture of a perching eagle. The eagle's wings were broad and it's beak was parted. it lavishly poured out water like an endless puke. This fountain stood a few yards away from the mansion's entrance, at the same time adjacent to a gazebo.

I could tell he had been watching me the whole time but didn't interrupt my distracted mind. I scurried forward and met him.

"I was uhm-"

"It's alright you don't have to explain." He cut in.

"Do you live here?" I asked.

"Yes I do."

"Gosh! this is a palace!" I thought to myself sadly it was a little louder than a whisper.

"What did you say?"

"uhm... nothing!" I countered, " ...I ... I just want to say sorry for badging in on you."

"Nah it's ok. On the contrary, I was a little bored and I needed company. I should say thanks."

"You really don't have to."

"No, I should really say, thank you." He affirmed. A whisper of smile showed on his face, as his one hand slipped into his pocket.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Maybe not, it's been a long time since I saw you. Let's just say, It's good to see you again." He comfirm. Stealing a glance at me as he took the right turn.

" It's- good to see you too" I retorted. I was surprised he felt that way. I tugged at the edge of my shirt in hope to relieve the nervousness I felt.

We were approaching the gazebo and the dog kept following us as if on guard in case of emergency.

The huge dog glared at me or perhaps, I was just imagining it. I was certain of one thing though, that it would attack at the slightest sense of danger. I stupidly refrained from expressing my fear. I drew closer to Mr Addison, in fear of the dog.

I was sure, he wondered why I came so close to him, as if struggling to get into the gazebo before him. He stopped for a moment, look at me in amazement but said nothing. He simply shook his head, glancing at my frightened face and gave way for me to get in before him.

"Ladies first." He gestured (go in) with his hands. A warm smile grazed his broad bearded face and I reciprocated.

The gazebo was not very spacious, it's concrete walls were about 3 inches high, with a hearth at the base of the rear wall.

The chandelier emitted light in the middle making it easier to find my way through a set of cream and coffee brown cotton armchairs.

The gazebo was unique, much more like a study, than it's purpose of relaxation. I sat nervously on the couch closest to the hearthside, as Mr Addison bent over the centre table. He arranged the unusually large books that splattered on the table into a pile as he spoke to me,

"Keren."

"Yes sir."

"pardon me, I have to take these inside"

"It's okay. I- will just sit here and wait." I said. On looking at the dog, I reiterated,

"I'll sit here and wait, alone."

He could see through my words, acknowledging my fear, I knew these by his mirthful response, "yes, Jasper is coming with me."

"Thank you." I replied.

"I will be right back." He said before leaving.

I sat there savouring the smell of the flowers that were few metres away. The couch was fluffy unlike the one at home. My eyes travelled to all corners of the gazebo.

The well carved flowerpots were delicately placed on various sides of the building. The weather was chill, so I rubbed my palms together to get warmer, I could not wait to go home.

My eyes trailed further to a small squared basket full of four red crispy apples. It was on the table and it stared furiously at me. No!, I lied. The apples were not staring at me.

Although it's not in my habit to do so, but I had to. I felt this sudden realization of a compulsory duty that I had neglected and this was: lunch and dinner.

So truthfully, I was staring at the apples. I swallowed hungrily, slyly looking at the apples and looking away. The temptation mounted until my hands betrayed me and I grabbed an apple.

I looked around a second time damning the rules as I took the first bite, then the second and the third. I munched it hungrily, savouring he sweet taste of this organic fruit, as it enchanted my taste buds. I enjoyed every bite and grabbed one more.

It was passed twilight already, the young night was welcomed with the buzzy sound of happy fire flies. They glittered in the dark atmosphere, multiplying by the passing of each second.

While I ate, I could perceive a dissonant smell. It was not thoroughly the sweet smell of apple. My nose did the search until I uncovered the truth. The sad truth that I had not bathed all day.

"Gosh! I stink!" I murmured.

My wrinkled nose sent an expression of displeasure. "Keren what is wrong with you? How could you forget this!" I queried.

The sweaty smell was not so musty but I was overly self conscious. Who wouldn't be? I felt so embarrassed and I regretted getting close to him. I quickly perceived my under arm and turned my nose away quickly.

Could it be, I wondered, that he noticed my stench? Genuine concern was written all over my face, I wished I could disappear from this place. I could rightly term this day: THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

My mind traveled to the events that led me to this point in my life. it's sad that I had to wallow in what some would call self-pity but truly bad things happen and there was nothing anyone could do about.

It all began three months ago.