"She was a very vibrant woman until she lost her joy, now she's just a gloomy old woman who can only be seen when she leaves for work, I think she's now an atheist," Ronke explained to me when I asked about the mansion across the road from our hostel.

Strange things really do happen in life, and some are very unexplainable. I noticed the gate to the mansion has never been open, I've never seen it open, I guess it only opens up when she leaves early for work and returns home late at night.

"Are you sure about what you're saying Ronke?" I asked with doubt creeping into my mind.

"Definitely," she answered me. "I've been here before you remember?"

"Yeah, that's right," I responded, "but, how do you know she lost her joy?"

"Uh...I was told by a man who said he only came to visit her...he said he once worked there but she told him to leave, along with his co-workers, that she lost her joy and doesn't want to be involved in anything with people."

"Mmmm... mysterious."

"Yeeaaappp."

Truth is, I only wanted to know why such a huge mansion was rarely seen with people, although at night, I've seen shadows through the windows, but if it's only one woman that lives there, why do I keep seeing shadows of people at night?

"Life is so sweet when you're living your dream and you're fulfilled.

Life is so sweet until tragedy strikes."

F.A.B

School life is such a bliss, why? In the University you meet new people not knowing what year they're in and well, they tend to deceive you with their stature and looks, you could meet a sheepish looking person thinking he's a first year student not knowing he's in his final year, it's so funny and sometimes embarrassing realizing your mistake at times. I stay at an off-campus hostel for reasons best known to me...it's dangerous but still, it's fun, I'm not against being on-campus, but my childhood trauma wouldn't let me stay on campus, because somehow they could be linked... giving me flashes of the past.

"Hey, Fiyin, how's everything going?" Shola, a hostel mate asked me, and all I could say was "Fine." That four letter word, "fine" hides more than it is to carry, it's the word used by everyone, whether they're happy or sad...that four letter word has ended relationships, eased tensions, cleared doubts, and of course hidden secrets.

"I'm fine"

People hide things just by saying "fine" not everyone wants to talk about their hectic day at work or their true opinions of something, so instead, they end up saying "I'm fine" or "it's fine" or "fine." The number of times I've used it everytime I've been asked a sensitive question cannot be numbered, still...I keep living, I can't let the past keep on haunting me, sometimes I have to shove it away and try to live happily, but trust me, it's not easy, sometimes it comes back with more power than before, hitting me right in the face, leading to a burst of tears, who do I have to lean on? No one, absolutely no one, but that's fine. I've been like this for years now, nothing's going to change it, what's done is done, and it's going to remain that way forever, no edits, no going back.

Ever.

"No one can predict change and the conditions it brings along, so you just have to accept it the way it presents itself, you have no power over it anyway..."

F.A.B

I lived across from a huge mansion and it's so beautiful from the exterior, each day I wonder what the interior would look like, and I hope I'll be given the chance to see it for myself. I stood from the spot I was sitting and went back into my hostel room, turning to face the mirror immediately I got in, I took in my features, I own russet-brown eyes which look so large and cute, raven-black hair which brushed my shoulder a bit, I wouldn't say I'm dark skinned, I think chocolate would do just fine.

But the thing is no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, what your character is is a waste to your beauty if it doesn't commend it, but not everyone knows this, so also if you have secrets you might be so beautiful no one would ever suspect you, but still, once one secret is leaked, that's the end for you.

I straightened my outfit and picked up my bag as I left for school, staring at my reflection in the mirror wouldn't get me to school early, so I better get going to school, it's fine being a second year student as long as you know what it is you're doing in school. I can't spend my days in gloom.

As the taxi I was in drove into the school premises I couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing crazy people that are unavoidable in life, I have to admit, without them, life would be so boring.

One would look at me and be like, "that snobby spoilt girl," yes I am spoilt but I don't display it, except if the situation calls for it. There were times back then in secondary school, when teachers would like to be acting all difficult and wicked with me even when I did nothing wrong, so anytime they tried it with me, I showed them the spoilt girl that I am, speaking rudely to them and threatening to report them to the school authorities or the police...even though that was a little extra since in Nigeria, the police might not take you serious, it worked anyway I always got left alone like I've always wanted to be.

Sadly in the University, no lecturer gives a damn, but your coursemates wouldn't like to trespass if they know you have an aggressive side, it works everytime and it's always very effective. I don't have friends in school, let's say I'm pretty much a loner, it's not like I want to be a loner, it's just that I don't want to get too attached to someone like I once did, so that if I loose the person, it wouldn't have that much effect on me, relationships fade overtime if they aren't taken proper care of, bonds become worthless if there's no effort made on either part of the relationship.

That's just how life is, throwing at you things that aren't meant to last forever, which is why we have memories to keep them fresh....