Do you sometimes feel so lonely that it hurts,  but in a good way? maybe I'm just rambling,  but i kind of do,  like when your going on a trip, your sitting by the window, the glass is down,dad is talking everybody,  almost everybody is happy, the wind is in your hair,  your not feeling worthless, everybody is in the background the road trip playlist is really good,  and your just there, existing,  everything is F I N E.

"Luca?" dad called from the driving seat in front of me.

"you okay, Lu? " he asked "yeah, dad" i  reply. i have never been better,  can you get high from happiness? Jonah said you can,  Naz said shut the **** up. 

"seems  uncle simon is sad " leo says, 

"did you call him? " dad asks

"nah,  its 1:10 in the morning,  why would i do that?  hes messaging me,  seems he really wanted to come " leo says, 

" SeE,  i told him to take a freaking break!  i told lets go to the beach,  and go apeshit!  " dad says,

  uncle simon dropped by right before we were leaving,  and had a full on crisis about coming to the seabeach with us,  or not,  and reluctantly decided not to. 

the songs in the playlist are mixed,  some are english,  hindi, bangla and a few tamil ones.  there are

really good songs in here i have heard some them before,  but most of them are unknown to me,  leo  continues on his banter with dad about dad haircut, its too short and we've only once seen dads hair this short, its jarring..   Laila is out cold, her face mushed against the sit, her neck at an uncomfortable angle

" dad, uncle simon is coming. " leo says out of nowhere, " What?" dad looks backs at leo

" hes not picking up, he must be driving" leo says looking at his phone. Delailah wakes up, and while rubbing her left eye quietly says

" called it " "tell him to share location, " i say to leo, he gives a slight nod, and goes back to his phone again, " this is going to be a fun vacation, huh" delilah say as she puts her head on my shoulder, and closes her eyes, i gently scratch and pull on her short hair and she falls asleep again...

(AN : hi, to whoever reading this, this is my first story here, i have other stories on *******. i will probably try to transfer those here, this story will probably see the light of day here first, and then the full thing on *******.

Also if you enjoy this chapter, stick around for more. and i would like it very much if you comment and im always open to criticism. also like and subscribe if you want. but please, please, please, please comment or else my shit brain will just tell me that nobody read it)

******* : rainofyellow2007

facebook: Aurunima Chowdhury

* i post artworks there*

ps. my others stories can be a little sucky and generally bad.. i have no excuses. also pls don't focus on my grammar too much, i am not a native speaker

  so, sometimes there are good days,  where you... well have a nice day. AND sometimes you have days where,  your best friend is sitting on the edge of a lake, soaking wet , wrapped in your hijab,  ...and you don't know what tf to do because..this is not what you expected on a nice saturday afternoon.

For context,  my best friend jonah, pencil dived into a lake, and i had to pull him out because hes a bitch ,  and my another best friend left fo a nice trip that he deserves after the nose deep shit we got ourselves into,  and then this assface decides to drown himself, 

"sorry naz... " the little seaweed says,  " you better be,  so what was it this time,  and why didn't you call me before you decided to go for a swim to afterlife? " i ask,

" I thought some OTHER dumbass was drowning, tuns out it was our dumbass, i pulled your *** up and now its time to answer " i am mad. i am fucking furious, because, nobody saw, nobody saw him drown, nobody helped, if i didn't happen to miss this lil shit, only Allah knows what would've happened.

" Luca told me to keep an extra eye on you, and you do this, " he looks at me, his expression since i pulled him out of the lake haven’t changed, hes terrified, the look of abject horror is not a good sign. l am more concerned now,

" jonah? jo? jonah? johna look at me " i kneel beside him pleading, he looks at me, " whats wrong jo " i ask, he looks at me for a while, then he screams "i hate you " as he sobs,

i hug him tightly, then he starts to apologise between sobs, and we sit there. he eventually stops, but i don't let go, neither does he,

"wasn’t me, it wasn’t me i - i " he starts to talk but chokes on his words, "shh sh its fine, i know, i know" those weren't sweet nothings, i did know that feeling,

shit.. luca goes away for one day....and the house is fire, what kind fucked up mentality do we have... Allah protect these two shits.

jonah wasn't always this impulsive or fucked up, it was in 5th grade that lotta shit hit the fan and....

after that year, every year sucked ***, so since 6th grade the responsibility of keeping this asshole alive by his mother before she ran away to paris.... and luca was given the responsibility to keep him company.  and this is the first time in years these dumbasses arent together.

i watched them both go through stuff together,  and honestly,  i knew this was coming,  i thought i was ready for this situation,i trained myself to protect him often from his own damn self,  but i didn't expect this soon like its only been half a day,  but i think i can save him,  even if i have to aggressively tell him how much i love him,  and that he's valid

well,  sometimes there are days when you have to hug your soaking wet best friend, because life wont be life without him.

ok, I get it, it wasn't cool of me to jump into the lake with full clothing and it wasn't cool to yell at naz that i hate her, and it wasn't cool to throw a curve ball at naz while Lulu was out of town. he deserves this break and and also deserves to be alone.

Naz deserves a break from always saving my ***, I can see that why she needs to...

its just not comfortable or easy without luca, i know i shouldn't cling to him. its creepy and weird

But in my defence, I wasn't really aware that i was doing that, I mean I know that I went to the lake, I know that I jumped but I was only aware when i was underwater, but once I was there, I didn't really resist because I really didn't need to tho.

I couldn't speak or breath because I didn't need to, my lungs didn't fill up with water, it didn't hurt.

it was oddly freeing, like, I was floating, no restrains, and I saw everything clear. I was freaking weightless!  and to be honest it was amazing, but it didn't last because only after a few minutes shit goes down.

I got the ability to breath back therefore, the water didn't feel freeing it was choking me. It gave me a moment of happiness then snatched it away. That's when I started flailing, opening my mouth to shout for help but it didn't work, the water filled my mouth and throat.

I wanted to swim up but it didn't work, I tried again, and, again and. then I felt someone pull me, and there was someone, honestly I was terrified because the person who pulled me was a monster.

it had tentacles coming out of their head and waist , it's eyes were glassy black its face had no blood, I'm pretty sure that, that's when I passed out...

when I  woke up naz was there. she told me that she pulled me out, but didn't that creature pulled me up.  I  was confused and hurting,  and i screamed at her.  I  told her i hated her   but,  she hugged me.

Then the headache came,  and I  couldn't see anything,  its like,  I  slipped away from reality. Everything was dark,  then it wasn't,  in front of me came a red mist that slowly turned to a hazy white.

And luca was there,  standing there,  looking at me with his calm green eyes,  then,  he reached his hand towards me.

And I  looked at his hand,  stained with a sort of glimmering purple, then I  looked at him,  and then  he started to change, his forehead split open slowly,  achingly,  his both eyes showed pain,  and tears came streaming down,  thick black tears.

  The split on the middle of his forehead gaped  and took the shape of an eye. It was hauntingly black,  and both of his eyes turn the same shade. The gentle specks of freckles glowed  and there were lines connecting them,  the lines bled.  It bled ,  gold,  glimmering beautiful shade of gold.

He was crying,  and trying to scream,  but when he opened his mouth thick violet liquid filled his mouth.  It came out pouring from the sides.

I  stared in horror,  unable to move,  I  saw everything,  every moment.  I  couldn't go to him,  I  couldn't look away, i couldn't close my eyes,  I  couldn't  stop watching. I watched and watched.

And he was fully covered in it,  the purple goop,  the golden blood the black tears,  all of it.  The mix of three made a mess out him as he reached for me,  crawling and scratching, and when he grabbed my leg.  I  felt cold, cold as in my mind froze,  I  couldn't  think,  my body solidified and then he was gone and i,  i.. i

 I don't know what happened, i have just fell, i was supposedly staring at the ceiling, a weird translucent shades of neon pink and green and purple were dancing in front of my eyes, then i lifted my hand in front of my face.

 for a second i thought i was something else, my hand... hand was red, well i mean half to my fingers were red, and i had eyes on the back of my hand, and i screamed, but nothing came out, i didn't have a mouth, and i noticed that i wasnt breathing, my whole body felt cold and heavy and.... i could see everything, every direction, every possible way.

 And there was the mist again and i could see my self there, and tried to scream again but this time i knew that it wouldnt come out, beacausd i didnt have eyes or a nose, i just had eyes, i had eyes all over my body, my face, the skin around area of the eyes were red and the eyes, they were peircing black and they were staring at me, i was staring at me i couldnt stop, i didnt know how to..

an: hey there my beatiful readers i forgot u existed , sorry , i didnt think anybody likes my work , but HELLO THERE !  im continuing this story on W . A . T . T .P. A. D my id was give in first chapter author note byee love you guys .