Andi is an adult man who experiences life problems like in a movie, he cannot express what he is feeling to other people directly so he writes down all the feelings in his heart what has happened to him until now so that at least the people who have the same problem as he could arise unlike himself who kept all the pains of his heart alone.

People look Andi with happiness and lucky life but all are wrong. He just cover all of his struggle, pain, anger, disappointment and tired with pretending He is strong and happy from outside of his life.

He was born with unhappy family and unhappy life, starting born they already not like him because the family predicts He is girl but born as boy, His childhood are disaster, His father treating and raising him without love. when Andi naughty his father always beat him and make Andi hate his father beause always make him cried, he just a kid at the time.

His living in house which land coming from his father family and staying together in one land with different houses, His mother is weak person, she have 4 sisters-in-law always threating her very bad. Andi always remember whenever his mother fighting with his aunty his father always hitting his mother in front his eyes and never listen his mother explanation whatever the problem. When his parents fighting Andi, His mother and His brother always run away to the his mother family for couple of days and coming back again to the house this happened routines again and again which giving Andi bad memory of his childhood.

When Andi 5 years old he was kidnapped by someone while playing near in his house. He just can crying without knowing anything, He was put in dark room for one night luckily someone saw when Andi was kidnapped and report to family and police and Andi returned home with safely but the kidnapped is his nightmare until now.

When Andi aged ready for start school his father never care of him asper His father Andi no need school he will never success and he will be stupid boy forever that word always make Andi painful inside his heart but his mother fight for him so that Andi can go to school.

Finally Andi can school even late he just started 2nd of semester of elementary school. Kid Andi was different with other kid. He is to teen, small, black color body with big mouth so that he is target of bullying in the school from all his friends.

During elementary school, Andi was always sad because bullying from all schoold friend, he always got bad treatment from his friends through verbal and physical violence and even got punches and kicks, he didn't have any friends but he was excited to learn even though he was not smart.

When middle school was a hard time for Andi too, his parents' flight often made him sick of staying at home, he left home and stayed at his friend's house for a few days, he had no money, to buy food he sang on the streets and also sleep on the street. Andi's brother looked for him and persuaded him to go home because his mother was so sad that he finally came home.

Andi's father is not the best father, he doesn't care about his family, Andi's mother fights for his children by selling food so that his children can go to school, the suffering of his life makes Andi a strong but fragile person in his heart.

Andi's character is very unpredictable, He keeps all the bitterness of his own life by acting as if nothing has happened in his life, he is a closed person and feels lonely in his life because his family is not an easy family to give love openly, He realizing that his family is different from other people's families so that Andi feels always jealous of the lives of his friends and other people who always look warm and harmonious.

Andi goes to college while working, He is very hardworking and never gives up because he wants to be successful one day, he gets the opportunity to work abroad, he has a lot of considerations because he wants to finish his studies but his hopes must be buried deep because he thinks of his family.

Andi started working abroad but his mind was always reminded of his family, every month he always sent all his salary to the family, but his father took Andi's money that he always sent and it was a dark and bitter start to his family life because he knew his father was having an affair with a good friend from his mother and married secretly from his family.

The condition of his family made Andi decides to returned to his country and get rid of his dream of a career abroad because his mother really needs him. Finally Andi's parents divorced, Andi's mother was devastated and became hurt and mentally hurt because she didn't believe what Andi's father had done to betray their marriage.

After the divorce of his parents, Andi's father kick out his Mother, Andi and his brothers out from the house, they rented a house to start life without Andi's father, the problems continued, Andi mother was very depressed after her divorce, her psyche became disturbed and had to get treatment from a doctor and had to routinely taking medication in order to recover from the severe depression her suffered.

Andi's eldest brother ran away from his responsibility as a substitute for the head of the household, he went with his wife and lived with his wife's family in the village, Andi's second brother suffered as much as his parents' divorce, he took it out by using drugs so he was expelled from his job, At that time Andi's brother arrested by the police for using drugs in front of Andi's eyes.

Andi does not want his mother to be sick again if she finds out that his brother has been arrested by the police so that he does not tell his mother, Andi has to spend a large amount of money to get his brother out of prison, he seeks a loan from his friend so that his brother can return home without being monitored for the problems he is facing.

Andi is aware of the big responsibility he has to fight for his family by keeping all his problems alone, Andi does not have anyone and cannot tell anyone about his life problems. Andi returned to work, he was a hard worker and professional with his job, besides that he started to open a business to be able to make additional money.

For the second time Andi's brother was arrested by the police for using drugs, he wanted his brother to be aware of his mistakes and not get him out of prison but Andi saw that his mother was so sad and depressed about what his brother was facing so that Andi took out all of his savings to pay fines to the police so that his brother can returned home.

Andi never thinks of himself, all his hard work is given to his family, he tries to get up and start thinking for himself, Andi has several close female friends but his relationship has never been successful, he has dated a different religion, he has been dating who already had a husband but Andi realized that it was wrong, he was introduced to a woman from her village until the engagement stage, but the relationship still failed.

A year passed after the divorce of Andi's parents but Andi's family life was not yet normal, he found out that his younger brother was using drugs also as same as his 2nd brother because of depression parent's divorced, Andi sent his younger brother to the village so he could get rid of his drug habit, Andi's business went bankrupt because of his money being corrupted by the oldest sister-in-law. Andi, to cover his debt he sold the car he bought.

Andi feels that he must start leaving his family so that his family can be independent if Andi is not there. Andi returns to work abroad, he wants to start a new life, he cuts all connections from family, friends and erases all social media he has with the aim of removing the burden he has been facing and can focus on his work, for 2 years Andi never contacted his family and friends, his workers also succeeded in getting Andi to get promotions and rewards from the company where he worked.

Andi returned to his home after 3 years of working abroad, but what he got was not what he expected, his family was the same who never understood his feelings and understood what Andi needed, one by one his friends left him where he could see which theme was which really is where Andi is happy and unhappiness.

The world was hit by the Corona pandemic, not long after that Andi returned to his country, all the plans he hoped for were dashed, Andi had a little savings, he thought what to do so that his money would not run out before he got a new job, he started an online business in suggested by the theme, but his business did not run smoothly and all the saved money ran out.

Andi is jealous of other people who have someone who can take his side regardless of his condition, he is introduced by his theme a woman who might be a match with Andi, they get acquainted and have a good relationship, Andi expressed his seriousness to his girlfriend's family to marry her, girlfriend Andi's father allowed and ordered Andi brought his family to be able to propose to his girlfriend and asked for the conditions to hold a big party because his girlfriend was the last child of his family so Andi needed a lot of money.