I love him, I love him so much, I can't help but loving him.

Such an emotion, one day along the way, I forgot about it.

But, I remember only this. In the olden days, I harbored this feeling.

*****************************

Ah, it happened again.

When I saw him fall in love in front of me, I vaguely had such a thought. Because he was maintaining an expressionless face, at first glance, his astonishment couldn’t be seen. However, in his eyes that were never lit with emotion as if they were made of thin ice, there was certainly no doubt that something had settled. For me this was a fact I understood quite clearly. After all, I spent a long time that spanned over ten years with him.

No strictly speaking, we have spent a more, terribly more longer time together.

As such, this scene has been shown many times over. The me of the past used to despair each time, each time, she would tell herself that such a thing couldn’t possibly happen.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, big brother.”

Smiling sweetly, my little sister born from a different mother introduced herself with her lovely voice. This tea party was an occasion prepared to introduce my little sister to my fiancé. This opportunity was arranged for my sister who was sick and had yet to be introduced formally.

“Nice to meet you, little sister. Isn’t it still a bit too soon to call me ‘big brother’ though?”

The pleasant voice of my fiancé reached my ears. It was the same voice as usual. Nevertheless, something was different.

The two of them were staring at each other, and I, who was at their side, had no other choice but to watch. My pretty little sister with her cheeks dyed in colors. My fiancé who took in her appearance with an earnest gaze. The past me was overcome with jealousy and ruined the party. In contrast to I who had ranted and raved, my gentle and innocent little sister had lowered her head and apologized.

“Big sister, I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing for you to apologize for.”

My fiancé had reassured her with a tender and smiling face that I still remembered even today. In the end, because my jealousy inadvertently became the trigger that shortened the distance between the two of them, it made me feel very unsightly and foolish.

“Ilya, is there a problem?”

To me who was absentmindedly gazing at the two people who were deepening their intimacy, my fiancé directed an inquisitive look.

“No, nothing. It is just that I’m feeling a bit unwell.”

“What, again?”

“Yes. That is why, would it be alright with you if I take my leave first?”

When I said such, my fiancé slightly frowned. He silently seemed to say ‘can’t you bear with it at least a bit?’. To this, I responded with a smile and got up as slowly as possible. Never let them realize you are upset.

“I apologize. Silvia. Please, take care of your big brother.”

“Ah, yes!”

I knew that it was impossible for my fiancé to believe in an explanation such as 'feeling a bit unwell’. The one with a weak body was not me, but rather my little sister. My little sister with her delicate, ephemeral, weak body. My little sister who arose in people the desire to protect and who was loved by everyone.

“Wait, Ilya. I’ll escort you back to your room.”

Behind me who has already started walking away, a voice resounded.

“No, there is no need to. It is the long-awaited tea party. Please, take your time and enjoy it.”

In order to not see his face, I softly dropped my line of sight, but carefully answered him in a way that wouldn’t show any disagreeableness.

“No, but.”

My fiancé who argued vehemently all the more was, like always, too serious and honest. I know you are trying to act like a rightful fiancé.

“I have an escort, you do not need to worry.”

I made an eye signal to the escort standing nearby. He took my hint and moved to obstruct the line of sight of my fiancé. My clever escort probably noticed I wanted to go back to my room as soon as possible. But there was no need for him to move. There was no need to obstruct me from his line of sight. My fiancé was no longer looking at me. Because his heart was already at my little sister’s side.

My feet made crunching sound as I was stepping on the lawn. The roses in the large garden were in full bloom. A gentle wind was blowing, a clear blue sky was spreading as far as the eyes could see. These sights I saw many times made me feel pathetic, I wonder if it was because the me of the past was crying when she saw them?

Was I crying because I yearned for my fiancé, because I loved that person?

Once again, it repeats itself. This time that never ends.

*****************************

I was a human being who, by some fate, keeps returning back to the same time.

Some people would call it ‘reincarnation’, other would simply say ‘a time that repeats itself.’ As for me, I don’t know the meaning this time bears. In the first place, I don’t even know whether there is a meaning or not. I just keep going back to the same moment.

It’s always the same instant. It starts at the moment when he falls in love with my little sister, and lasts until I die.

If I must remember my previous lives, then remembering at the time I was born would have been good. That way, I wouldn’t make mistakes when dealing with my fiancé. But the moment I remember is always the same, it is always at that tea party. At that time, it is already too late, between me and my fiancé a gap that cannot be filled is in place, rending the situation impossible to overturn. And finally, inevitably, he falls in love with my little sister.

In my first life, I liked my fiancé to the point of becoming madly sad. From the first time I met him when I was five, I only had eyes for him. For example, even if it was a political marriage, I never doubt my belief that one day, his heart would warm up and we would build a family. Because that had been the case for my parents.

However, he was from a marquis house and bore a lot of expectations for his future. In that way, even though I was his fiancé, I was not allowed to thoughtlessly approach him. In our country there are different peerages, that are furthermore divided into five court ranks. As the position becomes higher the number of people holding the title diminishes. His marquis house is at the first rank, while my earl house is at the third rank. Among the few marquis houses, his stands at the top, while among the multiple earl houses, mine is middle ranked. In terms of court rank only, we are apart by eight grades. Although my house possesses many financial assets and a long history, nevertheless, I was subjected to malicious gossips because one way or another I was paired with him whose family status I could not match.

As to why such an unfit me and him became engaged to each other, it can only be said that it happened simply due to a coincidence. Originally, he had another fiancé, but that young woman, several months after the engagement was made, she was afflicted with an illness and passed away. Because of that, as our fathers happened to be friends, and I happened to be close in age with him while I didn’t have a fiancé, we were engaged.

Suddenly, I was bestowed with the huge pressure of unexpectedly becoming the betrothed of the son of a marquis. Because I fell in love with him, I was desperate to somehow or another become a suitable match for him, but I knew this wasn’t enough. I happened to have been chosen, but I was always anxious about the fact there were many more suitable ladies. No matter how many efforts I would put in, I could never do anything about my appearance. For example, when I dress up even if I look good, if the raw material is bad there is a limit no matter what is done. On the other hand, around him gathered many young ladies with attractive face and figure whom by no means I could ever surpass.

That is why, I monitored the women that got close to him.

I made full use of my position as his fiancé. Because the only thing I could take pride in, was only this.

… … Right, in this way, my first life was bound to him.

I knew his heart was not on me. Still, I expected that by getting married and living together in the same house, his affection for me would grow. I intended to spend a long time together. I intended to foster his love over time. I also believed I would have enough time for this.

However, at the moment when he met my little sister, I understood that everything was only a wish that would not come true.

Time had nothing to do with it. In a mere instant, he fell in love with my little sister.

I could only watch it happen.

It simply must have been love.

Yes, at the beginning, and until halfway through, it seemed like it.

There is no doubt about it.

The moment from when that feeling started to be distorted, I don’t know when it was.

***********************************

“Oh, it seems like Soleil-sama is with Silvia-sama again, doesn’t it?”

The friend who was walking beside me suddenly let a mutter slip out of her lips as she looked toward the courtyard. If you followed her line of sight, there were the figures of the two intimately cuddled together. Once again, a feeling of déjà-vu rushed forth.

In the academy courtyard, the figures of the two sitting on a bench placed in an isolated spot unexpectedly stood out. Do you realize what you are doing? Or is it that you do not care about the eyes of the surroundings? Even if there are not many passerby, the students who occasionally walked by sent flickering glances toward them.

“Is it really alright to not call out to them?”

My friend who stands out with her magnificent good looks passed a hand in her golden hair while asking me such. To her question, I gently shook my head.

“I’m thankful for Soleil-sama taking great care of my little sister.”

I smoothly uttered words devoid of any heavy emotions to the extent that even I think they are said in a pure tone. In a life that keeps repeating itself countless times, and especially to protect my fiancé who cherish my little sister from the surroundings eyes, I have said this line many times over. While your fiancé is not here, being alone with another young woman is not a behavior worthily of praise, however when the young women is your fiancé’s little sister, the circumstances are different. I knew that the words, ‘It is because eventually they will become family’, can become a correct justification.

“Ilya-sama, you’re very tolerant, right?”

My beautiful friend Marianne laughed without saying anything more. Because she knew I monitored every woman that came close to my fiancé. She used to be one of those women.

In my first life, I heard a rumor saying Marianne was planning to get close to my fiancé, so at once I went to give her a few words. “Do not approach my fiancé.” If I think about it now, my opponent was of higher social standing and I was the one who forgot her own position.

At that time, I didn’t have that much of a grasp about my surroundings and the comportment I should upfold. ‘A woman blinded by love’, that expression was the most fitting for the past me. It was such an incident that it would not have been strange if Marianne’s house had sent formal protest demanding compensation. Because misled by the rumor, I acted without confirming the facts and uttered false accusations. I wondered why the situation didn’t became serious and instead we became good friends in this current life.

“I do not feel like disturbing the two of you.” She said this and laughed with a gorgeous expression. “To come in between two people who are in love, I’m not such a boorish person.”

If it had been after that tea party, I would have thought those words were loaded with sarcasm, but the time when Marianne and I exchanged such words was long before my fiancé and little sister met.

That was why, when I had heard her words, I simply became ecstatic. From the surroundings' perspective, my fiancé and I looked like we had affection for each other. My fiancé seemed to like me. Because I was harboring such foolish illusions, my dislike of Marianne was turned into friendliness. In other words, the tolerant person was not me, rather it was her.

Then, as to why there was a disturbing rumor that ‘Marianne is planning to get close to Soleil’, everything was due to Marianne’s family status as well as her eye-catching gorgeous appearance. Her house held the first grade among the earls, it was close to Soleil’s family, and the plausible rumor was that if I hadn’t been here, it’s without doubt Marianne who would have become Soleil’s fiancé. Even if the rumor was put aside, it was a fact that Soleil and Marianne suited each other.

If this was told to her, she would show a smile and answer, “My head is already completely filled with my own fiancé, so even in a life time such a thought would not cross my mind.” Her eyes were those of a woman in love. At that time, because it was the same eyes that I saw when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I was easily convinced by her words.

… … In my former life, she and I didn’t become friends though.

A long, long time ago, the me of that first life, even if she had met Marianne several times at social gatherings, they barely exchanged a few words. With the same peerage, but with a different court rank, we were always perceived as rivals. The people in our circle would not permit us to approach each other.

However, even if in my other life she treated me like an enemy, in this life we became close friends.

In this way, in the lives that piled up, sometimes several discrepancies are born.

I don’t know why. At any rate, until that tea party, I do not possess any memory of the previous lives. It’s not like I did anything intentionally. I thought that perhaps, my actions were unconsciously affected and a trifling difference was maybe born this way, but I don’t know if this hypothesis is accurate. I just know that even if my life repeats itself, the actions of the other persons won’t be limited to the same course than in the previous times.

That’s what happened with Marianne. In my previous life, Marianne and her fiancé could not have been said to have had a harmonious relationship. However, in this life, they are in mutual love.

If I must give a reason for the creation of this slight disparity, I can only say that a big force that I cannot influence is at work. And because of that, everybody, me included, become little by little a slightly different person .

… … And yet.

And yet, no matter how many times life repeats, only his deep love for my little sister never changed.

To what extent does he love my little sister?

“Ilya-sama, you are truly very kind. You even persuaded your parents to let Silvia-sama attends the academy.”

Marianne pursued the conversation while directing her line of sight toward my fiancé Soleil and my little sister. Soleil who had glossy dark hairs combed to the back of his head exuded the dignity and imposing air of a senior, while my small little sister, because of her delicate and weak constitution, looked very young. Seen from behind, their figures were very disparate. Yet they didn’t feel out of place, the difference in height rather fit them. As if, from the beginning, they had been created as a pair. I followed Marianne’s gaze and the smooth and fluttering silver hairs of Silvia came into my sight. I muttered in my heart, ‘I’m not kind. I didn’t have any kindness in my heart when I did everything possible to assist my little sister to enroll. I simply could not bear with it any longer.’

“Big sister, how is Soleil-sama at the academy? Are you going to have lunch together?” With her lovely voice, my little sister kept inquiring about my fiancé habits. I simply could no longer bear with it. I was afraid to expose that I knew barely anything about my own fiancé.

How Soleil acted at the academy, I didn’t know. Not even once did he invite me to spend lunch time together.

If it’s about the friend that got along with him, then even I knew him, but only up till his face and name. Like Soleil, he was from a good house and because he was a young man that stood out, there were many rumors about him among the young ladies. I knew this because I heard it by chance. Because I have lived several lives, this person’s temperament, how long he would associate with Soleil, the color of his eyes, I knew all these details. But Soleil directly introducing him to me, such a thing never happened. In every one of my lives, he was beside Soleil, but the number of words I exchanged with him were not even enough to be counted.

In the academy, even if Soleil would pass near me, he would never raise his voice to call out to me, and the very rare occurrences of having our line of sights met were our sole contacts. The details I could narrate to my little sister were only what I knew.

If it had been before the tea party, I would never have thought of letting my little sister attend the academy. Soleil was an attractive young man. At the same time, my little sister too was a charming person. If there was the possibility of the two of them getting close, then at any cost, I would have certainly prevented her to enroll in the academy. Indeed, the me of my past lives had taken such measures.

But after the tea party where my memories were restored, where my little sister fell in love with my fiancé, and after I knew that my fiancé too once again fell in love with my little sister, my way of thinking greatly changed.

If you want to know about him so much, then go and see by yourself. It is fine for you to ask him directly. That was what I thought.

Because she had a weak constitution, my parents were afraid something would happen to her and were against letting her go to school. I convinced them for the sake of my little sister. 'For Silvia’s future, it was necessary to let her attend the academy. Because it would become a great opportunity for my little sister whose fiancé had not been decided even now. If it’s my little sister with her weak body, then as soon as possible she must look for a person that could protect and support her. If her physical condition were to deteriorate, I would back her up without fail.' I made such a fervent speech. It was completely as if, as long as it was for the sake of my sister, I could keep words flowing out of my mouth.

“I’m so happy I can go to school! Big sister, thank you!” My little sister’s round cheeks were dyed red in excitement. "It’s nothing" I answered and while laughing, I pretended to ignore the pain that rose from the depth of my heart. The me of the past was raising her voice inside my head.

… … Why would you do such a thing!

… … Don’t let Silvia and Soleil get close together!

Even I am not sure. What am I doing, what was it that I wanted to do, I didn’t know. Before that tea party, I was certainly in love with Soleil. My love for him was my life’s… no my existence’s raison d’être. I was only five years old when I first met him, but because I decided to become a person worthy of standing by his side, the me who was ‘Soleil’s fiancé’ was born at that time. After putting in so much efforts to the point of feeling sick, finally lately, the people around us had started to approve of me.

When I learnt that all my efforts, everything had been pointless, my despair was beyond description.

Soleil was gazing at my little sister. My little sister was gazing at Soleil. In order to never let their entourage find out, they understood they must hide out their feelings. Never let them breach the surface. However, their gaze was telling the others of the heat that filled them, while I was watching over them from afar.

Even though I have seen that scene any number of times, in this life, it is the first time. Every time I saw that scene, I certainly was hurt. As I was looking at my little sister on whom was directed a gaze I would never receive myself, I wonder why I could remain so calm. In my first life, after that tea party, I who was still confused, was criticized by my surroundings for my persecutions. “Your little sister is pitiful, why are you persecuting her”, said our parents while making a condemning face.

… … “Having a daughter like you is such a disgrace.”

If this was a story, the main character would certainly have been my little sister. A poor child who had fallen in love with a young man she could never be wedded to, her older sister’s fiancé. It sounds like the heroine of a tragedy, doesn’t it? In this kind of story that attracted a vast audience, I would play the role of the villainess noble daughter who gets in the way of the heroine’s love story. But this is not a fiction, it is without doubt the story of my life. Since it’s the case, why must I be condemned for taking pity on my own life?

It’s heartless, it’s cruel, why, what for?

I cried and shouted so much that even now I can still hear the voice of the past me.

… … Why is it that nobody will understand me?

If what you’re saying is true, then why is it only you?

Why is it only you that keep repeating the same time?

**********************************

Why, why, why.

After she recalled her memories, the me at that time was controlled by these words for the rest of her life. Every time my life gets repeated, even though something changes a bit, my fiancé will always be in love with my little sister. And I too, fall in love with him. No matter what happens, only those don’t change. Every incident results from these facts. Even so, they remain unchangeable no matter what.

The realization that I keep repeating the same time always comes after that tea party. Maybe, if my fiancé and my little sister hadn’t met, then fate would have taken a different direction. But as if it was inevitable, at that tea party those two achieve their destined encounter. The one who guide them to this encounter, is none other than me, who is in love with him. I can’t even laugh at such a pathetic sight. Preventing this incident cannot be done.

The two of them meet and fall in love. At first, they think it’s one-side, but before long, they notice it’s a mutual love and exchange the thought that they mustn’t let anyone notice it. And I, who was the closest to them, watch them start to develop and raise such feelings. No, you can say that I am shown such development. The two of them who wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t existed. But because I’m here, they cannot be together.

In my first life, it was like hell.

At the tea party where they were introduced to each other, the eyes of Soleil when he looked at me who made a disgrace of myself, completely lost their warmth. Until then, when I criticized every single woman who approached Soleil with harsh words, every time he had scold me with frank advice. “What you are doing will not benefit me, and neither you.” In spite of his opinion, I didn’t stop. At that tea party too.

“Don’t make eyes at Soleil-sama” “Pretending to be delicate, what an awful child” “Trying to steal Soleil-sama from me”

While crying, while almost shouting, I uttered all the abusive words that came to my mind. It can be said that my appearance at that time was rather ugly and disgraceful. Indeed, my parents who heard the scene I was making were so furious they could have hit me. They lowered their head to apology to Soleil and harshly condemned me. “Your behavior is so embarrassing, such a disgrace.” The him who had fell in love with my little sister at first glance and whose eyes were still full of emotion, while he accepted my parents’ apologies, it seemed he started to feel disgusted by me who had directed abusive language toward my little sister.

However, the clever him didn’t let it show in his countenance.

Because the marriage between him and I had already been decided, and overturning this situation would have been very difficult.

I had been raised to become Soleil’s partner, in other words it meant that I had been studying to learn how to rule over a territory. It didn’t happen overnight. I learnt about the history, about the land, the people, their management. I mastered foreign languages, I memorized numbers, I comprehended the social situation. Because I received scorn as the standing of our families didn’t match, I desperately memorized everything to the point I could be on par with even men. That’s why it took many years and hardships to arrive there. Because I was raised for the purpose of becoming the mistress of a marquis house, the one most suitable to fulfill this duty was me. There was nobody else with the same competences. Anyone could clearly see that.

And above all of this, the fact that I loved Soleil was what made it even harder to break up our relationship. A political marriage accompanied with feelings from the beginning was extremely rare. The people in our entourage, and especially my and Soleil’s parents, welcomed the fact I had him in my heart. The thought that Soleil could possibly love Silvia would never cross their mind. These eyes of him that are like a layer of thin ice would conceal all his emotions.

After all, even if Soleil didn’t seem to have taken a liking to me, he still accepted that political marriage. Rather than bothering breaking off the engagement, he used it as a political strategy and properly treated me as his fiancé. Soleil was an ordinary man who fell in love. But as the same time, he was a noble in charge of ruling over a territory. To carry out his responsibility and duty, he seemed to have settled on taking me as his wife.

In the first place, political marriages were such a thing.

I was dissatisfied with the fact he didn’t have me in his heart, but even so, at that time I thought it was still alright. I truly believed it was the proper stand to take as Soleil’s fiancé. Getting married, living together, ruling over the territory, eventually having a child, I kept telling myself that after spending some time together and getting to know each other, it would have been alright. Because I loved him. I simply loved him with all my heart. It was as if the feelings that I harbored in my childhood had been deeply engraved in my heart and would never disappear. That’s why I never wanted to imagine that our relation might not go well.

And finally, Soleil and I got married.

I was eighteen, Soleil was twenty, and Silvia was seventeen years old. We got married at the same time I graduated from the academy. Since that tea party where Soleil and Silvia had met, two years had passed. At that time, Soleil had finally been recognized as a full-fledged knight and he was so busy with his work that it was really difficult for him to return to the territory. I think that fact contributed to dim my judgement. From an outsider perspective, Soleil and I were by no means hostile to each other. I also thought like this. If I were to exchange words with him, he wouldn’t treat me coldly and answered with amiable words. He had always treated me in the proper way as a fiancé, and after our marriage he continued to act like a proper husband. He treated his wife as a wife should be treated. If he were to see me tired, he would call out to me and gently tell me, “Are you alright? You should take a little rest.” If I needed to consult about a problem with him, he would kindly think of a solution. If I was worried about something, he would give me advices. During this hectic interval, I was deceived by the kindness I could catch a glimpse of.

He was a good husband. It was as though he was embodying the very picture of the proper ordinary ‘husband’.

In that way, one year, then two years passed. Around that time, I gradually started to notice. That in his eyes, the were no warmth at all.

In his words and his attitude, he was the kind husband who acted like a gentlemanly knight. Like a model of a ‘husband’. Yes, that’s it, a model. At some point, I started to see through his thoughts, ‘If I do this, it seems my wife will be obedient’, ‘If I say that, my wife will surely stay quiet.’ I probably found out because I witnessed his gestures, behavior and the look he gave when he was in front of my little sister.

The thing called family was really bothersome. Although some distance could be taken, ties couldn't be severed. That was especially true for those born in a noble family. Even if it’s only on the outward, you must appear to be on good terms. Because the house could suffer disadvantages from disquieting rumors. That’s why, after that first tea party, we attended several others and extorted efforts to deepen our friendship. No, in reality, the one who needed to exert efforts was only me. I always felt that to compensate for my failure at that first tea party, I was half-forced to participate.

At the tea party that was held that way, I was at the sides of Silvia and Soleil who were facing each other, and while looking at them, under the table I grasped my hands tightly. I told myself that I mustn’t commit the same blunder as the first time. Before the tea party, Soleil had gently preached me to absolutely treat my little sister well. In front of Soleil who was acting the role of a proper husband, I too, had to act the part of a proper wife. I believed that if I did that, his eyes would turn toward me.

But such a thing was bound to never happen.

Soleil’s long fingers touched my little sister’s thin silver hairs that look as if they would become untidy even if lightly stroked. My little sister laughed in embarrassment. Those perfect lips of her shaped like flower petals made a pure but gentle smile. If I could close my eyes, I would do so immediately. However, it was a situation where I couldn’t. Because I was Soleil’s wife.

Without having been able to force out a smile, I thanked him. “Thank you for being nice to my little sister.” After I said that, like always, Soleil smiled while his eyes remained cold, “It was the natural thing to do. We are family after all, so it’s a matter of course”.

Seeing us like this, my little sister with her innocent expression dropped a few lines, “Big sister, you’re really blessed. You have such a good husband.”

However, I knew that envy and jealousy were blended in her eyes. Because her body was frail and it would be difficult for her to give birth, she had yet to find a fiancé. In her eyes I wondered if what was reflected was the figure of an older sister that had everything she couldn’t get. I wondered what my little sister thought of me, who could only deceive her entourage with a smile.

With the social standing of a marquis’s wife, I had both the honor and the wealth, I also had a husband who was the head of the knights. If you looked from the outside, it certainly seemed I was blessed.

That’s right, those were the things I myself had wished for.

After all, I had been married into a ‘marquis house’. After all, I had been raised to this end. That’s why, the me who hadn’t notice had been foolish.

I hadn’t been married to Soleil.

“Big sister, you’re really blessed.”

The voice of my little sister who had said that line wouldn’t cease to echo in my head.

… … And then, after around three years had passed that way.

Suddenly, my little sister passed away.

As she was a young woman with a weak body, everybody had thought that if she were to die, it would have been due to her illness. But in fact, on her way back from a relaxing trip to the city theater, she had been attacked and killed by bandits.

When the news reached us, Soleil and I were having dinner together. It was a suggestion I had made to Soleil who was considerably busy with his knight work and barely could come back to the mansion. I had asked him to please free up some time to have a meal together occasionally. Even though three years had passed, I hadn’t show any sign of getting pregnant. Because our surrounding had slowly started to become critical, Soleil had to take my suggestion in consideration. He had agreed while straightforwardly looking at me in the eyes.

It was a dinner with barely any discussion at all. Still, I was satisfied. I was enjoying the pleasure of eating while looking at the face of the man I loved.

Such an ordinary dinner scene was suddenly stained by a pitch-black shadow.

The steward quietly whispered something in Soleil’s ear. While I was watching over him thinking it must have been something about work, Soleil suddenly looked at me with an expression I had never seen until then. It was a pitch-black glare, like a hole, where every emotion had been removed, excepted from a darkness that looked deeper than hate.

“You?”

That’s what he said to me who didn’t understand what had happened. With one hand he swept away the dishes aligned on the table and directed his pale face in my direction.

“You, was it your doing?”

He said it quietly, but I distinctly heard him.

With him saying that line so abruptly, I still didn’t know what had happened. I could neither affirm or deny his question, but I was overwhelmed by the glare directed at me and was trembling in fear. Soleil took my reaction as a confession and abruptly grabbed a knife from the dining table.

“Master!”

Maybe, if at that time, the steward hadn’t stop him, I would certainly have been killed. I, who was trembling in fear and had fallen at the foot of the table, was condemned by my husband.

“You, you killed Silvia, right?!”