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Until Love Found Him

Chapter 1: The Scent of Amma and the Cousin's Deceit

The world, for ten-year-old Anand, was a tapestry woven from three simple threads: the molten gold of the Tamil evening sun filtering through the coconut palms, the soft, off-key hum of a Thirukkural verse from his mother’s lips, and the sacred, enveloping scent of *sambar* powder kissing the hot gingelly oil.

He sat cross-legged on the cool, red-oxide floor of their small kitchen. His real education was her—his Amma. Her back was to him, a silhouette against the flickering orange flame of the kerosene stove. The pallu of her simple, cotton sari was tucked neatly at her waist. This kitchen was his sanctuary.

“Anand, *kanna*,” she said without turning around. “Is the lesson not getting into that clever head of yours?”

He grinned. “The lesson is boring, Amma. It’s about the rivers. But I already know the Kaveri is our mother.”

She turned then, her face glowing. Her eyes, dark as ripe jamun, crinkled at the corners. “Aha! My little scholar. But do you know why she is our mother? Because she gives, and gives, and asks for nothing in return.” She walked over and knelt before him. Her scent was his universe—the earthy fragrance of rice flour, the sharp note of nelli kai, and beneath it all, the undeniable, comforting essence that was purely her.

“Here,” she murmured, pressing a small piece of jaggery to his lips. The sweetness exploded on his tongue. He closed his eyes, committing the moment to memory.

Outside, the world was peaceful. But then, the sound came. A voice, young and arrogant, that cut through the calm.

It was Suresh. Suresh *Anna*. His cousin, the son of his father's own brother.

Anand’s small shoulders tensed. The argument was about the *varapu*, the boundary ridge between their two fields. Anand crept to the doorway.

His father, a man whose strength was for the soil, not for arguments, stood silently, his gaze fixed on the earth. But his Amma stood tall, her chin raised, facing Suresh.

“You think just because your father is the elder brother, you can steal my land?” Suresh sneered. He was a young man, barely twenty, but his eyes held a greed that aged him. “This varapu has shifted. Your side has eaten into my property.”

“Suresha, don’t talk nonsense,” Anand’s mother replied, her voice firm but calm. “The survey stone has not moved. Your own father helped place it. This land is ours. Do not let greed blind you to the truth.”

Suresh took a step forward, his face contorting. “Don’t you dare speak of my father! This is between you and me. And I am telling you, that ridge is mine. I will not let you people cheat us.”

Anand watched his mother, a pillar of strength against Suresh’s storm. He saw the flicker of pain in her eyes—not fear of him, but pain at the betrayal. This was the boy she had fed sweets to, the young man she had welcomed into her home. And now he stood there, claiming their land with a liar’s conviction.

“Enough, Suresh,” she said, her finality ringing in the air. “The matter is closed. The land is ours. Now, please leave.”

Suresh stared at her, a long, hateful look. A promise of something terrible glittered in his eyes. He spat on the ground, right at the boundary line he was disputing, a final act of defiance. Then, he turned and walked away, his shoulders stiff with rage.

Anand’s mother watched him go, a deep sadness on her face. She turned and saw Anand peeking from the doorway. Forcing a smile that didn't reach her eyes, she walked back to him.

“It is nothing, kanna,” she whispered, pulling him into a hug. Her heart was pounding against his ear. “Just a small misunderstanding. Don’t be afraid.”

She smelled of jaggery, sambar, and unwavering love. Anand buried his face in her sari, wanting to believe her. He didn't understand the complexities of land and greed. He only knew that the person he loved most in the world was sad, and the cause was the cousin who had once carried him on his shoulders.

He didn't know that this argument over a few inches of mud was a fuse that had just been lit. He didn't know that the scent of his Amma, the very essence of his safety, was about to be forever replaced by the smell of cold, unforgiving earth and loss.

Chapter 2: The Silence After the Storm

The world did not end with a bang, but with a whisper—a whisper that coiled through the village like a venomous snake, carrying a truth so horrific it stole the very air from your lungs.

It was not a formal announcement. There were no police sirens wailing through the dusty lanes of Keezhambur, no official voices of authority. The news arrived on the frantic, bare feet of old Mrs. Parvathi from two houses down, her chest heaving, her eyes wide with a terror that was contagious.

“Muthu! Muthu!” she gasped, collapsing against their doorframe, her voice a ragged tear in the fabric of the evening. “Come quickly… to the well near the fields… It’s… it’s Selvi…”

Anand’s father, who had been sitting in a corner, staring blankly at the wall, jolted as if struck by lightning. The colour drained from his face, leaving behind the grey pallor of ash. He didn’t ask for details. The raw panic in his neighbour’s voice was detail enough. He stumbled out of the house, his movements clumsy and disoriented.

Anand, his heart a frantic drum against his ribs, tried to follow. “Amma?” he called out, his voice small and thin. “Where is Amma?”

His elder sister, Raji, grabbed his arm, her grip like iron. Her face was pale, her lips pressed into a tight, bloodless line. “Stay here,” she commanded, but her voice trembled, betraying her own fear.

The wait was a form of torture. The golden light of the evening, which just moments ago had felt so warm, now seemed sickly and ominous. The familiar sounds of the village—the bleating of goats, the chatter of women—had vanished, replaced by a heavy, suffocating silence. Anand stood frozen in the courtyard, his textbook still lying forgotten on the kitchen floor. The taste of jaggery had turned to ash in his mouth.

When his father returned, he was a broken man. He did not walk; he was carried by two other men from the village, his legs unable to support him. His eyes were vacant, staring at something far away, something terrible. His clothes were wet, clinging to him, and Anand’s young mind couldn't understand why.

And then he saw it. In his father’s hand, clutched so tightly his knuckles were white, was a faded, jasmine-coloured piece of cotton. It was torn and muddy. It was the pallu of his mother’s sari.

A wail tore from the house—a primal, gut-wrenching sound from his grandmother that seemed to make the very walls shudder. It was the sound of a world breaking.

“Amma fell,” someone whispered, but the words felt wrong, a flimsy blanket over a gaping wound. “An accident… by the well…”

But Anand remembered. He remembered the argument. He remembered the hate in Suresh Anna’s eyes. He remembered the promise of violence that had hung in the air. This was no accident. This was the culmination of that hatred.

He looked at his father, searching for answers, for rage, for something. But his Appa just sat on the floor, rocking back and forth, the scrap of his wife’s sari pressed to his face, his entire body shaking with silent, helpless sobs. He was a farmer who could command the earth, but he could not protect the woman he loved. His silence was not just grief; it was a profound surrender, an admission of his own powerlessness against the evil that had touched his family.

In that moment, as the shadows lengthened and the reality of his mother’s absence began to solidify into a permanent, cold stone in his gut, Anand understood something that changed him forever. The world was not a safe place. The people you called family could harbour monsters. And the greatest pain in the world was not a loud scream, but the deafening, unbearable silence that a mother leaves behind.

Chapter 3: The Unspoken Truth

The house became a museum of grief. Every corner held a relic of her presence: the empty stone grinder where she would grind fresh coconut chutney, the single chappal left by the door, the faint, fading smear of turmeric on the kitchen wall where she would wipe her hands. The air, once thick with the promise of food and love, was now thin and cold, tasting only of dust and tears.

The funeral was a blur of white clothes, mournful hymns, and the acrid smell of sandalwood smoke. Anand, draped in a rough, white cotton veshti that scratched his skin, felt like a ghost watching a play about his own life. People patted his head, their touches heavy with pity, but their words were empty sounds. He saw Suresh Anna there, standing with his parents. Suresh’s face was a mask of appropriate sorrow, but his eyes, when they met Anand’s for a fleeting second, were flat and cold as river stones. There was no remorse, only a guarded defiance.

It was that look, more than anything else, that cemented the terrible truth in Anand’s heart. *He did it.*

He waited for someone to say it. He waited for his Appa to stand up, point a trembling finger, and roar the accusation to the entire village. He waited for his elder brother, Muthu, to grab Suresh by his shirt and demand justice. He waited for the police to arrive and take the monster away.

But none of that happened.

The adults spoke in hushed, complicated tones. They used words like “fate” and “a tragic accident.” They talked about the slippery moss on the well’s edge, about how dangerous those old wells are. They clucked their tongues about the burden of a young life lost, but they carefully skirted the unspoken name that hung in the air like a poison cloud.

That night, as the last of the relatives left and an eerie quiet settled over the house, Anand found his courage. He approached his father, who was sitting alone on the porch, staring into the impenetrable darkness.

“Appa,” Anand whispered, his voice small but clear in the silence. “It wasn’t an accident.”

His father didn’t look at him. He didn’t move.

“Appa,” Anand insisted, a tremor of desperation in his voice. “It was Suresh Anna. I saw… I saw how he looked at Amma. He was so angry.”

Finally, his father stirred. He turned his head slowly, and in the dim light, his face was a landscape of pure agony. “Stop it, Anand,” he said, his voice a hollow rasp. “Don’t say these things.”

“But it’s true!” Anand cried, hot tears spilling down his cheeks. “He killed Amma! For the land!”

His father’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm, not in anger, but in a desperate, painful plea. “Enough!” he hissed, his eyes wide with a fear Anand had never seen in them before. “Do you want to get us all killed? Do you want more blood on this land? It is over. She is gone. Speaking of it will only bring more ruin upon this house. You will be silent. Do you understand me? You will be *silent*.”

The words hit Anand with the force of a physical blow. He wasn’t just grieving. He was alone. The one person who should have been his ally in seeking justice was too broken, too terrified, to even acknowledge the truth.

He pulled his arm away and ran, not to any particular place, but simply away from the suffocating weight of that silence. He hid behind the haystack at the back of their compound, curling into a tight ball. The sobs that wracked his small body were silent, just as his father had demanded. He cried for his Amma. He cried for the betrayal. And he cried for the terrible, crushing realization that in this world, sometimes evil wins, and the good are too afraid to even name it.

The unspoken truth became a wall between him and his family, a wall that was thicker and higher than any boundary *varapu*. He was ten years old, and he had just learned that the greatest secrets are not the ones we keep from our enemies, but the devastating truths we are forced to bury, alive and screaming, within our own hearts.

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