Why Do I Exist?
It's with the beginning or the end
How should I even start? Is it worth it? The sadness,the loneliness,the being alone,is it worth it? I have a lot of people around me but it's like they don't even exist.
River
River isn't my actual name but I don't care. I have lied a lot yk but who cares. My conscience*laughs* hehe life is funny and every time I remember this saying "regret never comes before an action, it's always after"
Me again
I wanna love,be loved,feel loved, know that I actually have people who want me not just people who are friends. No one is my enemy of course so yeah,we are all friends but what's the use? I don't feel it,I only feel hurt and lost.
Will you ever know it's me? am I allowed to be here? Am I supposed to exist here even. I wanna cry but why? Idk. I want to let you know about everything that's wrong with me but how,I gotta start it from the beginning for it to be understandable and I don't want to do that.
River
Writing is actually fun now that I do it, maybe I will do it lots now when I am bored or sad.
River
I am cold,I feel cold when I am sad and I have been crying easily these days but that gotta stop. I wanna tell Lucas I have been a woman and didn't cry but I can't even find him anymore
River
I miss y'all, almost everyone I have ever known
River
It's different for me,what I feel you can never feel it
River
That's the sad truth tbh
River
Eh,I am bored now
Bye, let's write later
Me again
😌I liked doing this, hope no one steals it from me like always
if life can condone shit, you should too
New day I suppose,today was actually not bad tbh and I am not in a bad mood but I am cold. Really cold,got assignment to submit tonight also and lots more. if I am making a schedule for tonight,it would be
River
I start making dinner by 7pm, meaning I have 56 mins to rest before then (p.s. I just ate since morning)
River
My mom wants us to sleep by 9 pm, let's say I finish cooking by 8pm
River
So I have just one hour to finish the assignment
River
Is that exactly how it's going to go? I doubt that
Me again
Eh, nothing special today but like something came to my mind today: if life can condone shit, you should too
River
Maybe that's true actually
River
Another quote I think was......(I don't remember)
River
Seems like that's all for today
Me again
I might put that as episode name
Noah's chapter so I won't forget
So I am writing this because someone asked for an update and also because one of my friends left mt
I am not sad or anything, just dk what to do ig,also thanks to that reader that asked for update
River
I would love if you don't read it anymore cause I don't know you so it feels like you are entering my space without permission
Me again
I wonder if Mt did something that made that happen
Umm,so for my friend that left I miss you already and will be expecting your return
River
Also,I don't think I have any special thing to talk about tonight
River
Oh by the way,I noticed being on my period this time is actually making me happy,my mood swings have been more on the happy,poke nosing side
Me again
Not that I mind╮(＾▽＾)╭
Me again
Well, good night y'all
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