My name is Park Jimin. I'm a loner. Not so much by choice, more so due to the many events that have unfolded throughout my short life.

When I was eight my grandparents died in a car accident. I was really close with them. They would come over every weekend and have dinner with me and my parents. We'd usually hang out and tell stories by the fireplace. Mine were always very expressive stories about animals. Everyone would laugh when I placed myself in the middle of the room and acted them out. I always went into great detail when talking about penguins. For some odd reason I had an unhealthy obsession with them at the time. I still find them extremely cute to this day though.

I would make sure to steal my grandma or grandpa's lap whenever I could. I loved the feeling of their hugs, and their sweet smell. It always made me feel so cheerful. I was a total sucker for hugs, I think I still am actually.

Every Christmas I would run down the stairs and eagerly await my grandparents arrival. I was more excited for them than I was my presents, which is kind of unusual for kids. I guess I'm just a leech for any type of affection. My mom and dad would always laugh at how clingy I was. I'd even stick to them. Whenever my grandparents were gone I would migrate towards my parents like a magnate.

We've had so many great moments that whenever I think back I can't help but to smile.

One night in November my grandparents were coming over for dinner. I remember being glued to the glass of the front door, like some kind of plunger. I watched as the thick snowflakes drifted from the gloomy sky and hit the pavement. Before I knew it, it was already seven-thirty, and my grandparents still hadn't shown. They were warned by my parents that the roads were slippery, so I assumed they were just being cautious, until about nine that night. We got a call reporting a crash. My father rushed out the door wearing a look of distress unlike any I've seen before. My mind couldn't processes what was going on at the time so I stood still, clueless. My mom took me by the hand, into the living room so we could watch TV. She tried to comfort me, but now that I look back on it she was more frightened than I was. I fell asleep on the couch still confused as to what was going on.

I woke up about an hour later to hear the door pop open and chatter coming from the same direction. I crept over to the noise and poked my head out the corner. My father looked horrified as he forcefully pressed the heavy words from his lips. What had come out of his mouth shook our worlds. He confirmed the death of Mrs.soyoona and Mr. Hyunmin, my grandparents. My mother fell to her knees, breaking out into tears. I soon followed behind, startling my unsuspecting parents. My mom crawled over to me and wrapped me in a tight embrace as I bawled my eyes out.

After that night everything started going downhill. My father grew into a deep depression that eventually lead into a drinking problem. I could never fall asleep at night without crying my eyes out for a half an hour first, unless I had my mom by my side. She held it together better than all of us.

With every passing day things only got harder. My dad eventually got fired from his job. He had a lot of trouble finding another, and when he finally did we had to move all the way across country. We bought an apartment and moved in some of the stuff from our previous house. Our new home was nothing like the other. It was cheap since my father was trying to save money. When I entered the dingy looking apartment a musky smell swept pass my nose. I wasn't used to this kind of environment. I spent the previous nine years of my life growing up in a clean, beautiful home. This one definitely had mold, not to mention the neighbors were loud. My room had a much better layout this time around though, so it wasn't a complete loss. Even so, I couldn't sleep properly the first couple of nights. I felt uneasy sleeping in an unknown space.

One night when I was struggling to fall asleep so I listened in on what I thought was the neighbors arguing, like they usually do. I suddenly realized it wasn't them, rather, my parents. It was really uncommon for them to fight so I started to worry. I curled up under my blankets and hoped to fall asleep. The noise didn't die down until I heard a shatter and a yelp. I shot up in my bed, alarmed. Silence swept the house for a minute then I heard my mom crying at the doorway to their room. I waddled out of bed and down the hall to comfort her. I asked her what happened but she kept telling me everything was alright and that I didn't need to worry. Even then I could tell she was lying. My question was answered days later when my father decided to beat her in front of me. I tried stopping him, screaming "Dad, stop! You're hurting her!" That earned me a backhand into the table of course. My mom immediately jumped to my side checking to see if I was alright. Later she told me never to approach him when they're fighting or when she's not around.

The beatings continued for another two years. I don't know how she pulled through, but she did. And through out it all she continued to comfort me, making sure I was okay. I wished I could do something for her, but anything I did try I would only end up getting in her way.

Things started getting better around that time. My father calmed his drinking and lowered his temper. My mother didn't receive a single bruise when my father eventually took control of himself.

We even went to the zoo. I saw the cute little penguins waddling around. I remember getting as close to them as possible. My little heart felt like it was going to burst from happiness. My mom giggled at my excitement. Things were going so well for us as a family. We started conversing at the table again, we watched movies on the small TV we had in the living room, and we could all finally sleep comfortably in our beds.

Something was weighing on my chest though. Around the time I turned twelve I noticed I started having feelings... for men. I wanted to wait before telling my parents but the timing felt as best it could be. So the next morning I hesitantly made my way down to the living room. Both my parents were already up and eating breakfast so it seemed like perfect timing.

"Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something." I began, looking between them scared. At that point there was no turning back.

"What is it sweety?" My mom replied, digging into a bowl of cereal. My dad just looked at me, waiting for me to speak. I hesitated awhile before choking up the next few words.

"I... I think I'm g-gay." The room went quite, my mom opening her mouth, and my father with an unreadable look on his face. My mother stood up from the table and hugged me. "Its alright. I accept you so there's no need to worry, okay?" A weight lifted off my chest when I received her support. Seconds later the weight came crashing back, doubling in size after my father spoke.

"You're f***ing with me, right?" He spoke with anger obvious in his tone. I was frightened. I had never heard my father use that word.

"I-I..." was all I could get out before having my knees give out on me. That was a sure sign to him that it wasn't a joke.

"You don't know what you're saying, you don't know what you're saying!" He repeated as he held his head with both his hands and paced aggressively across the room. My mom was just as shocked as me, and didn't dare stand in his way knowing what would happen. At this point I was wishing and hoping I could take it all back, but sadly it had already slipped through my mouth.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry dad!" I repeated several times after he sent a plate flying at me.

"This is going to be the end of our bloodline. I'm an only child and... and so are you!" He shouted gesturing both his hands to me.

"And, and now I find out you're a fag**t." My mom twitched at the last part, giving notice to him. He pranced over to her and lifted her by the collar of her shirt. He yelled foul things to her before ruffing her up.

"You can just accept that your only son is a living piece of sh**." Those words hurt me beyond belief. I was already weeping in the corner due to the previous events. After he was finished with her he approached me with a hostile look for the first time, which made me freeze up right in my spot. He grabbed me by the neck and smashed me against the wall, knocking pictures from it. I squirmed for air and his fist connected with my stomach. My mom called out to him, and begged for him not to hurt me. The scene eventually died down as my father had to go to work. I apologized to my mom over and over, but she kept assuring me everything was alright. Everything went dark from that day on.

My father reverted back to his old drinking ways, and his beatings got much worse, now extending out to me. My mom eventually had to quit her job cause people were starting to question her about all the bruises she was receiving. She considered going to the police a couple times but he threatened her and told her that if anyone started poking their noses into our affairs he would make sure to punish us.

Fast forward two years. My mom was getting weak from all of the beatings. Now that I was fourteen, and getting bigger I tried to step in and take as much of the punches as I could. I wasn't strong enough to stop him though. All I could do was take the blows. Me and my mom were both surprised he hadn't gotten tired of beating on us by now.

One night my mom came into my room to check on me. We ended up talking for awhile. She asked if my feeling towards men had changed, since I was still young and extremely hormonal at the time I came out. My feelings were clear enough to confirm that I was indeed gay. We heard a noise at the door and shot our heads in the direction. It was dad. He stood just outside my doorway wearing an unreadable look.

"We need to have a talk." He said to mom in a frightening tone. She hesitantly got up from the floor and followed him downstairs. He shut my door and told me not to come out. That worried me, a lot. I positioned myself against the door, ready to charge to my mothers aid in case something happened. I couldn't make out all of what he was saying, but I got the gist of it. He told her to leave the house, and if he ever saw her near me or the house again he would make sure to go all out on me. Fear struck my legs, as I wasn't able to stand. I reached out for my mom begging her not to go as she made her way to the room to packed her things. Tears fled her eyes as she hugged me one last time before leaving through the front door. She was the only thing that was keeping me stable. I knew a life without her would lead to little or no affection.

Jimin's POV

A year went by and I cried myself to sleep every night, missing my mom. I assume she went to live with her mother. She was a total opposite from my other grandma. She's mean and sour, though nothing like my father. Things are probably better for mom since she doesn't have to receive the beatings anymore.

Things got so lonely that I was desperate for any kind of attention or affection. I started talking to this guy in class who seemed bored in my presence. He didn't really talk to me much so it was usually just a one sided conversation. He didn't pay much attention to me, until... I mentioned I'd been saving money. He got all buddy buddy with me and at the time I was too desperate to notice why he suddenly seemed so interested. Him and his friends would come up to me everyday and eventually got me to start paying for their lunch. I was a little hesitant at first, but I really needed someone to talk to, so I didn't want to push them away. Soon I was paying for more than just lunch. Now things ranging from snacks, to parking tickets. When I realized I was always just a third or fifth wheel to them and how much of my savings I'd already blown just to keep their attention I decided it was enough. If they couldn't be friends with me when I decided to stop paying for everything that would be fine by me. I needed as much money as possible to move out that excuse of an apartment, and away for my excuse of a father by the time I'm eighteen.

When my grandparents died they left their heritage to their only son, my father. He gave me twenty-thousand to spend on whatever I wanted while he split the rest with mom. I was a spoiled kid, but the only thing I took for granted at the time was my loving family. Now its in pieces.

Out of the twenty-thousand I'd received four was blown, the majority being on my "friends". When I told them I couldn't pay for their stuff the next day they gave me dirty looks and got rough with me. Ever since that day they've always been distant and cruel. When I saw their reactions I knew it was probably a good sign to stop conversing with people. No matter what I did, things would always go down the drain. I don't know if its cause I'm a terrible human being, and everyone has reason to hate on me, or if I'm just very unlucky.

I'm now sixteen and have shut myself away from communication. I feel its better for everyone, including myself. I've always been a sucker for affection, but that only seems to cause me problems. It would be better if I shut those feelings away. At school I'm a nobody. Luckily I'm not a target to bullies like some of the other kids in my school. I'm more like a shadow, people can see me but don't pay attention to me. That's a bit unfortunate though, since there are some really attractive guys in my school. I know I'm probably nothing special to the eye, hence why I am ignored but it would make me happy even if they only acknowledged my existence.

When I said it would probably be better for me to shut my feelings away I didn't really believe it. Wanting to get close to people but knowing you can't because your afraid of being used and rejected, or even getting in their way. That's really stressful and depressing to someone like myself.

My life has been so hard these past eight years that I just want it to end. No one likes me and no one wants anything to do with me... I mean, my mom didn't even try to come back for me. I can understand that she's scared of dad, but it just, it really hurts.

I started feeling like I would just be better off dead. That's when the suicidal thoughts began to trickle in. I felt so lost and emotional that I started self harming. It didn't stack up well with all of the bruises that I had already received from my father.

I spent spring break taking walks around the neighborhood and reading books in my room. That was the best I could entertain myself.

Whenever there is anything in the fridge when my father isn't home I make sure to eat it. He would always be to drunk to notice anything missing. Other than that I use my own money to buy myself food. I don't have the healthiest diet to be honest. It mostly consists of sandwiches and stir-fried veggies. It could be worse though.

One day after class a teacher made a sudden announcement as the final bells rang. "We will be having a school trip next week. We are going to a cabin park a couple towns from here for a week. You don't have to come along, but if you do and you participate in the events you'll have a chance at earning extra credit." She winked speaking the last part. "Since its a week long trip you will have to get a parent or guardian to sign one of these before your allowed come along!" I mentally sighed hearing the last part. I would love nothing more than to spend a week away from that hell of a home. It would probably be a good way to collect some of my thoughts, and maybe, maybe avoid further negative thoughts. Though I don't know if I see that happening.

A brilliant idea popped into my head. I'll just fake my fathers signature. He won't even notice I was away for a week. Though if this is anything like a school camping trip then I may be bunked with a few other people. Though, in the end I'd still be better off than staying at home. "Your parents can come too if they want. Only, they'll have to pay for a hotel themselves." Yeah... there's no way in hell I'm inviting my father.

I spent the rest of the week packing things I needed, in secret. I already sent in the fake signature, so all I had left to do was wait.

I didn't want to ruin my chances of going so on the day of the trip I snuck out extra early so my father wouldn't spot me. I was sure to be as silent as possible. When I got to the school I saw people being loaded onto the buses. It would be awhile before everyone got here though, so I decided to take my seat. I took the seat closest to the window in the second last row. It wasn't a very popular seat so it would probably be left vacant if the bus wasn't full.

Sometime later everyone was ready. Sadly the bus did fill, and the seat next to me was indeed that last to get taken. The girl who sat there didn't look too pleased, she didn't even bat an eye at me. At least I know she wasn't upset cause I was sitting there.

The buses finally took off. When on the road I noticed that some of the attractive guys from my school were riding as well. I made sure not to stare too long cause I didn't want to seem creepy, I instead turned my gaze to the parted window. The light spring breeze that blasted through the cracks smelled so good. The experience made me feel a bit odd. Its been awhile since I've done anything like this.

Jimin's POV

Even with all of the chatter and noise going around the bus I still managed to doze off a bit. I didn't wake, even with the bus stopping and people pouring out. I don't know how long I was out.

I woke to a gentle shake on the shoulder. Thank goodness it was gentle cause if anymore pressure was applied I fear I would have scared who ever it was that was waking me. I'm very sensitive and jumpy. I try keeping my guard up at all times, probably due to my father. I never know when he's going to strike so I guess I've grown very, very, alert.

I turned my head to see who it was that woke me. There stood an asian guy, probably around the same age as me.

"Sorry to wake you... Its just, well, the teachers already assigned cabin keys to all of the students. Yours is the only one left." He said, pointing to the exit of the bus. "We all assumed, that maybe you didn't come on the trip. I just came to get my bag and well... saw you sleeping here." He continued before grabbing his bag.

"T-Thanks for telling me... I didn't really plan on falling asleep." I replied shyly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"I'll fill you in on the briefing the teachers gave to everyone earlier." He said giving me a faint half smile while nudging his head to the door. I followed him out the bus in silence. When I got outside the atmosphere hit me like a punch in the face. The sky was a solid blue, growing lighter near the retreating sun. Crap, I must have been knocked out for sometime if the sun was already setting.

"What time is it?" I hiss rubbing my eyes again.

"Around four-twenty." He answered after studying his watch for a moment. I guess its good that I got some sleep in though. Its kind of challenging trying to fall asleep, knowing that there's someone in your home that has it out for you. That being my father.

He took me over to a stump near a bunch of trees lined up near the ocean. There were several thing littered about, making it look like a camp. I heard voices of cheerful students coming from many directions. It seems they've already gotten settled into their cabins.

"Alright so, this is your key." He pointed to a single key lying in a box on the stump. "It has your cabin number, but if you aren't sure where to go it should be right in that direction." He pointed to my west. "We'll be having a tour of the town tomorrow. Teach said we get extra cred if we come along." He cracks a goofy smile. I couldn't help but to let it sneak onto my face. I looked up at him and the sun hit my eye, making me squint a little. "The day after we'll go hiking in the mountains and forest near by. I'm all about that extra cred man." He let out a slight chuckle. I'm not here for the extra credit, I don't care about my grades, I know I won't be going to collage anyway, due to the lack of support. I came here to get some time away from home. I suppose the tours could be fun though. "The teachers have a schedule near the main building so if you need anymore help, head there. I'm sure you can tell but the school can be a little scatterbrained at times so if something doesn't make sense you can always come to me. My cabin number is four." He explain pointing in the directions.

"That would explain why I was able to fake my fathers signature without them questioning it." I mumble, mentally rolling my eyes.

"Wait, what?" He asked sounding confused.

"N-nothing." I reply quickly shotting my eyes in the opposite direction of him.

"Anyway, I'm off." He said grabbing his backpack and heading east. "Oh, one more thing, dinner is at six-thirty, near the center of the park." He says spinning my way with a raised finger. He turned back and continued walking.

"T-Thanks for the help!" I forcefully squeeze out, raising my voice. He turned halfway and gave me a little smile before disappearing behind a cabin.

I sat in my spot thinking a little before lifting my stuff and carrying it towards my cabin. The line of trees casting beautiful shadows over the park was like something from a movie or painting. The ocean air only added to the already pleasing atmosphere.

While heading off to my cabin I looked around and saw many of the students already enjoying themselves. I was a little shocked they weren't all on their phones. Like the guy said earlier, the school was a bit scatterbrained and forgot to ban cellphones. I brought mine in case I needed it for anything. I won't be receiving or giving any calls though, cause my contact list is totally empty.

After a couple minutes of walking I finally reached cabin twenty. When I took to the stairs I heard footsteps cross the deck. I spotted the source of the noise, it was a guy heading for the door.

"E-excuse me, is this cabin twenty?" I ask just to be sure. I didn't want to walk into the wrong cabin and make a total fool of myself. He turned around and oH CRAP its one of the attractive guys I mentioned earlier. I suddenly got nervous in his presence. I felt like nothing in comparison to him, which intimidated me greatly. I don't know what I would do if we were sharing cabin.

"Yeaaaah... can I help you?" He asked looking pretty confused. His look made me a little nervous so I started playing with the strap of my backpack.

"Well, my uh... my key, says this is where I-I'm supposed to be staying?" I clumsily pull it out of my pocket, almost dropping it. I held it up to him while trying to cover my embarrassment.

"Oh, so you're the kid that didn't show earlier, huh?" He sighed. "I guess I won't have a whole cabin to myself after all." Wait, did he just say we're sharing a cabin? together?

"I uh... sorry." I quietly apologized, lowering my head. I didn't want to burden anyone while on this trip, but it seems like I'm already causing problems.

"Its cool, you seem like an okay dude at least." He gave me half smile before heading through the door. I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat. After recovering for my little moment I struggled carrying my bag up the steps. I filled it with snacks and books in case they didn't give us any here. I finally managed to work my way up the steps and through the door with the little pantry stuffed inside my bag. Upon entering the house I spotted the kitchen to my left, and a little down the hall off to the right was a merged bedroom and living room, and a bathroom to the left. There's a door at the end of the hall which I assume leads to the backyard.

I made my way to the bedroom and saw the guy sitting on the a bed. He glanced at me a second before going back to whatever he was doing. I dropped the heavy bag on a bed placed on the opposite side of the room from the guy's. I sat on the bed with my legs crossed and pulled out a book from my bag. I planned on reading the rest of the day.

It felt very unusual having a stranger in the same bedroom as me. I peeked at him a few times before opening my book. I heard him ruffling through some of his things before coming to an abrupt stop. He turned my way and started speaking, almost startling me.

"Name's Jeongguk. Yours?" He asked before going back to rummaging through his stuff.

"I-I'm Jimin, Park Jimin." I answer, surprised he cared enough to ask.

He let out a breathy laugh before speaking again. "Sounds pretty dorky." I gave him a little smile knowing it was a joke before going back to my book. It seemed like he found what he was looking for because all of the noise stopped. A moment later he turned my way again.

"I uh, I want to set some rules, since we'll be living together for a week in this cabin." I bring my eyes up to him once more and give him a slight nod, even though I was worried as to what he might propose. "Tell me in advance when inviting any friends over, and please, no parties." He spoke soft but stern.

"Its okay, I-I don't have friends anyway." I replied as blandly as I possibly could, but a little sadness escaped with my words. I look back down to my book, and the room washed with silence once again.

After a minute Jeongguk spoke again. "You have any rules you wanna lay down?" He asked, playing with his hand and looking ever to me. I felt very nervous having his attention on me, but at the same time I felt content being in his presence.

"Y-yeah. My only rule is that you not restrain yourself cause of me, you can do whatever you want. Though I would ask for some peace and quiet every once in awhile." I responded, then give him a shy half smile. He smiled back, only his was much brighter.

"I'll be out back." He announced. It looked like he was holding his phone and a pair of airbuds, so I assume he's going to listen to music. I gave him another half smile before going back to my book. I heard his footsteps slowly growing quieter until he reached the back door. When he left, the cabin was peaceful, with no other sound than the pages of my book.