Chatroom of the Immortals
Chapter 1: Welcome to the Wrong Chatroom
MIRA_LOPEZ has been added to the group:
<CelestialExchange_Market>
MIRA_LOPEZ
Uhm… hello?
Sorry po, I think na-add ako sa maling GC? 😅
Who are you guys?
HeavenlySword_Emperor
A new soul enters the sacred circle. Identify thyself, outsider.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Huh?
Sorry, I think I got added here by mistake.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Is this some kind of roleplay group?
MIRA_LOPEZ
I’m just here To sell milk tea and earbuds 😭
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Curious… her aura is mundane, yet glimmers at the edge of fate.
Could she be… unaware?
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
WHO SUMMONED A MORTAL? 🔥
IS THIS ANOTHER EARTHLING MISHAP???
MIRA_LOPEZ
Okayyy wow.
Y’all are really committed to this fantasy thing, huh? Props for dedication. 😂
Silent_Scroll_Sage
She bears no cultivation signature. No spirit mark.
And yet… she sees the chat.
Iron_Will_Grandmaster
Impossible. The CelestialExchange is sealed by a triple realm boundary.
Unless... she broke through?
MIRA_LOPEZ
Bro.
I clicked nothing.
MIRA_LOPEZ
I was literally just trying to send my customer a GCash QR code 😭
Then suddenly BOOM—this weird group.
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Perhaps… the veil between worlds thinned. She was drawn by karmic pull.
Cosmic_Panda
🐼 lmao she glitched into the multiverse chat
Cosmic_Panda
Happens sometimes
earth wifi is wild
MIRA_LOPEZ
Ok but like… how do I leave?
I don’t wanna mess up your… celestial D&D game or whatever this is. 😬
System Message:
🚫 You cannot leave this group.
Reason: Interdimensional Seal Protocol Active.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Guys I can’t leave! My phone’s bugging out!
HeavenlySword_Emperor
You have been marked by fate. To enter is not by accident—it is by design.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Oh no no no. I just wanted to ship out milk tea and go to sleep 😩
This is NOT part of my 3-to-5 business plan.
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
😂 SHE’S PANICKING
SHOULD WE GIVE HER A WELCOME CURSE OR A SOUL RUNE??
MIRA_LOPEZ
NO THANK YOU.
I DON’T WANT ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES "SOUL" OR "RUNE" 😭😭😭
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Peace, fiery one.
Let her breathe. The mortal plane is fragile.
Silent_Scroll_Sage
Observe. Let her adapt.
She may yet prove… useful.
MIRA_LOPEZ
USEFUL FOR WHAT 😭
I'm just a tired online seller in QC!!!
System Message:
🔔 You are now observing: CelestialExchange_Market
🔒 Trade functions locked until recognition is established.
MIRA_LOPEZ
My head's gonna burst 😵💫
Nope. Nope. I'm going to sleep.
Cosmic_Panda
Sweet dreams, earth girl 🐼✨just don’t sleepwalk into another realm
Chapter 2: "Trade? What Trade?"
CelestialExchange_Market
[34 new messages]
MIRA_LOPEZ
Okay, let’s get real.
I don’t know what this cult-RP-fantasy group is…
But if y’all want anything, I’ve got milk tea and iPhones.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Buy 1 take 1 milk tea today 🤷♀️
iPhone 13, slightly used, good battery life
HeavenlySword_Emperor
What is this “i-Phone”?
HeavenlySword_Emperor
A spiritual communication artifact? What does the 13th variant signify?
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
Milk… TEA… 🔥
Spoken like a war chant!
Can I get it with those sweet chewy soul orbs???
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Her aura is strange… yet charming. 🤭
She offers earthly relics we have never seen.
MIRA_LOPEZ
Omg you’re all still going with this.
Okay fine—
MIRA_LOPEZ
5 orders of soy garlic Korean chicken 🍗
1 taro milk tea 🧋
And one iPhone. Who wants what? 😆
HeavenlySword_Emperor
🧾 New Trade Offer:
1 Mystic Pill of Eternal Youth
Delivered instantly via spirit seal
Exchange price: Five (5) servings of “Korean-style fried chicken”
MIRA_LOPEZ
😂😂😂
NO WAY.
You’re offering what now???
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
THE HOLY BIRD FLESH!! YES!!!
THE SOY GARLIC… IT LINGERS THROUGH TIME 🔥🔥🔥
MIRA_LOPEZ
You're telling me I give you FIVE PIECES of fried chicken,
And you give me a pill that stops aging???
HeavenlySword_Emperor
It reverses time in the cells.
A rare treasure. Offered in trust.
Do we have a deal?
MIRA_LOPEZ
Sure. You want Jollibee or Bonchon? 😵💫
📦 [TRADE CONFIRMED]
You have received: [Mystic Pill of Eternal Youth]
Item stored: Inventory > Spiritual Items
MIRA_LOPEZ
HOLY CRAP!!
SOMETHING LITERALLY APPEARED ON MY DESK
MIRA_LOPEZ
It’s glowing?! and it’s hot?? Is this safe to touch????
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
Such purity... The pill radiates lunar energy. Give it to one in need.
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
But beware—miracles come with attention.
Jade_Cloud_Healer
🌿 Even a single leaf of that medicine could restore dying bones.
You must protect it well.
MIRA_LOPEZ
This… is not cosplay.
This is not a game.
This is BLACK MAGIC IN A PLASTIC WRAPPER 😭😭😭
Cosmic_Panda
🐼 welcome to the club lol
first chicken’s always free 🍗✨
HeavenlySword_Emperor
You’ve proven yourself a worthy merchant. Continue the trades. Prosperity awaits.
System Message:
🌟 Title Unlocked: “Recognized Trader of the Immortal Realms”
📜 Quest Available: Test the Pill. Witness its Power.
MIRA_LOPEZ
I just traded fried chicken… for IMMORTALITY???
What the hell is this group 😭😭😭
Chapter 3: "Miracle Pill and Nosebleeds"
[Private Chat: Mira & Self]
MIRA_LOPEZ
Okay. Okay.
Deep breaths.
Let’s go over what just happened.
1. Got stuck in a fantasy group chat I can’t leave.
2. Accidentally traded Korean chicken for a “Mystic Pill of Eternal Youth.”
3. It appeared on my desk.
4. Still glowing. Still weirdly warm.
5. Smells like mint and… space???
[CelestialExchange_Market — 128 new messages]
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
I ATE MY SECOND BUCKET OF FIRE NOODLES 🔥🔥🔥
MY INNER CORE IS MELTING BUT WORTH IT 🔥
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
How's the pill, Mira of Earth?
Has it been consumed?
MIRA_LOPEZ
No!!
Of course not!!
MIRA_LOPEZ
I don’t even know if it's edible or radioactive 😭 What if I die and become a tree???
Jade_Cloud_Healer
The Mystic Pill of Eternal Youth is sacred.
Safe. Pure.
Jade_Cloud_Healer
Test it on one who suffers. Its energy will guide you.
[Private Chat: Mira & Self]
MIRA_LOPEZ
...Lola’s been coughing all day.
Doctors said it’s just age.
Always says her bones hurt.
She even joked: “If only I could drink something to feel young again.”
MIRA_LOPEZ
Okay. Fine. Just a pinch. Just to test.
MIRA_LOPEZ
EVERYONE WAKE UP
MIRA_LOPEZ
SOMETHING IS HAPPENING
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
🔥🔥🔥 WHAT HAPPENED???
IS IT AN EXPLOSION???
MIRA_LOPEZ
I gave half the pill to my lola
MIRA_LOPEZ
She was SLEEPING
She woke up, coughed once—AND HER HAIR TURNED BLACK
MIRA_LOPEZ
Her back STRAIGHTENED
She said,
“Wow, ang gaan ng katawan ko,”
and then started DANCING
DANCING.
MIRA_LOPEZ
TO A NOVA VINTAGE DISCO CD!!
WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
The pill has begun restoring her vitality. Your lola’s spirit energy is awakening.
Iron_Will_Grandmaster
Earth elders can move that way? Impressive.
MIRA_LOPEZ
My mom came home and thought lola was possessed 😭😭
MIRA_LOPEZ
She screamed and called the barangay
I HAD TO FAKE A NOSEBLEED TO DISTRACT HER
Cosmic_Panda
😂😂😂 nosebleed strat always works 🐼💉
classic Earth deception technique
Silent_Scroll_Sage
Thus the first miracle is witnessed.
Mark this day. The merchant awakens.
MIRA_LOPEZ
This isn’t a game anymore.
That pill…
It really works.
So that means—
EVERYTHING else in the chat is real too?
HeavenlySword_Emperor
You now understand.
We do not jest.
System Message:
📜 Side Quest Completed: "Test the Pill"
🧭 New Quest Unlocked: "Begin Cultivation: Basic Qi-Gathering (Level 1)"
📈 Market Level Increased: 2
🎒 New Feature: “Spirit Inventory” unlocked
MIRA_LOPEZ
No. Nope.
I just wanted to sell milk tea and pay my internet bill 😩
Now I have a cultivation quest??
Flame_Dragon_Daoist
🔥 WELCOME TO THE CLUB
FIRST YOU PANIC
THEN YOU POWER UP 🔥
Fairy_Lotus_Phoenix
The first trade is complete.
Destiny stirs.
Will you walk the path… or return to ignorance?
MIRA_LOPEZ
Do I still get to sell iPhones?
Cosmic_Panda
🐼 only if they’re enchanted✨📱
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