Your Problem Now!!!.
This Isn’t My Baby!?
The moon's gentle glow fades
as the sun's fiery kiss awakens the day.
📜 NOTE FOUND WITH THE BABY
Your problem now.
This is your kid. Don’t screw it up.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
Why is there a screaming bundle in my bedchamber??
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
WHERE is my sword?
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
Why is it... drooling?
Aster Baby
[tiny burp noise]
Aster Baby
[poops dramatically]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
THIS IS AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
Sire, it appears to be a... child. Yours, possibly.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
Mine?! I’ve never even held a baby. Let alone made one! 😒
Aster Baby
Ok, listen. I was seventeen. Normal kid.
Aster Baby
Headphones, exams, TikToks, Instagram.
Aster Baby
Now? I just got reincarnated into a baby’s body and this prince looks like a K-pop villain with a grudge.
Aster Baby
Also, I think I pooped myself again.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
He drew... this.
[Holds up napkin with squiggles. It perfectly resembles next week’s political assassination.]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
...What fresh sorcery is this?🙄
Aster Baby
[smiles innocently] 😄
Aster Baby
[gags on his own fist]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
No. Absolutely not. Return it.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
Can’t. Paperwork’s already filed. Heir to the North Throne. Congratulations, Your Grace.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
I WILL SUE DESTINY.
(ノ｀Д´)ノ
Aster
3 month old.
17 years (mentally)
Gender: Boy
Hair: Silky ash-brown with soft pastel-blue streaks near the bangs
Eyes: Golden-hazel with sparkly flecks (slightly glowing when he predicts stuff)
He Bit the Empress
Royal Audience Hall | 11:02 AM
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
I told you we weren’t ready for public exposure.(ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
The Empress Dowager demanded to meet your alleged heir.
Please do not throw the child.
Aster Baby
[burps loudly]
[smiles at old lady like a gremlin] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
If she tries to pinch his cheeks, I’m not responsible for what happens.
Queen Seraphina DeRose
(terrifying, 70% perfume)
Queen Seraphina DeRose
So this is it?
Queen Seraphina DeRose
This is the… “child”?
Queen Seraphina DeRose
Hmm. Rather... damp.
Aster Baby
Gurgle
[bites her finger]
Queen Seraphina DeRose
OH LORD.
Queen Seraphina DeRose
HE BIT ME!(✧Д✧)
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
He likes to test people for poison.
Consider yourself safe.
Queen Seraphina DeRose
He drew a goat on my robe. With fangs.
And flames.
Aster Baby
(internally)
She smells like vengeance and roses.
I like her.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
He’s drawing again... wait—
That's the royal ballroom… exploding.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
When?
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
Next Thursday.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
So cancel the gala.
Queen Seraphina DeRose
This... thing... might be more useful than you, Kael.
Aster Baby
[blows raspberry]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
You just bit a national treasure. (ò_ó)
Aster Baby
[giggles, then spits up on his collar]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
I’m raising a tiny tyrant.
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
He is your blood.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
I want a refund.
( ⊡ 益 ⊡ )
The Royal Nanny Massacre
[Royal Nursery | 8:00 AM]
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
Today begins the Nanny Trials.
Four elite childcare experts have been summoned from across the empire.
We will find one who survives… I mean, suits the baby.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
This sounds like a gladiator match.(-_-)
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
For legal reasons, it’s not.
Aster Baby
[drawing on the floor with mashed banana]
✨ [Image: a woman slipping on soap, labeled “in 14 mins”] ✨
Madame Petralia nanny 1
*Raised 17 noble brats
Weakness: Overconfident*
Aster Baby
[gurgles adorably]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
He likes her?
Crash.
Screaming.
Banana footslide incident confirmed.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
…One down.
Miss Periwig nanny 2
*“Creative development expert”
Weakness: Believes babies should express emotions with interpretive dance*
Aster Baby
[silent stare]
[slowly spits apple puree onto her notes]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
Okay, even I wouldn’t do that.
And I once lit a throne room curtain on fire.
Miss Periwig is seen leaving in tears, covered in glitter and betrayal.
Nana Bloom nanny 3
*Ancient, wise, smells like cookies
Weakness: Literally can’t see*
Aster Baby
[grabs her glasses and throws them into a fountain]
Nana Bloom nanny 3
Oh what a strong little cherub!
Now where’s the window—
Eliz nanny 4
* Applied accidentally. Was delivering soup.
Weakness: Zero patience. Maximum sarcasm.*
Aster Baby
[throws spoon]
[pouts]
Eliz nanny 4
No. Try again without attitude, potato.
Aster Baby
[blinks]
[sits down quietly]
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
How... how did she do that? (⁰▿⁰?)
Lord Finneas Royal Advisor
I don’t know whether to hire her or crown her.
Aster Baby
*internally*( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)
She smells like garlic and violence.
I respect her.
Eliz nanny 4
I’m not a nanny. I just make soup.
Crown Prince Kael DeRose
You’re hired.
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