I grew up in a quiet rural area, raised by my uncle after losing my father and older brother. My mother worked abroad, and my older sister was studying in the city. I was left behind — a girl with dreams, pain hidden under her smiles, and a heart that learned to be strong on its own.

Even with all the emptiness inside our home, I pushed through. I finished high school as valedictorian — no boyfriend, just small crushes I kept to myself. I didn’t really believe someone could love me that way.

But all of that changed in college.

That’s where I met Matty — the boy who would slowly become my entire world.

He wasn’t from my school. His family owned the dorm we stayed in. He was just… there. Constantly around. Helpful. Quiet. Kind. He offered water, checked in on us girls, smiled often — and always seemed to show up when I needed a little light.

“Hi,” he said one day. “You’re new here?”

“Yes,” I replied shyly.

“I’m Matty. If you ever need help, don’t hesitate to ask.”

I never knew such simple words could leave a mark on someone’s heart.

We became friends. Then, something more.

We talked every day, sent messages at midnight, and exchanged secrets we never told anyone. Matty made me feel seen, important — loved in a way I had never known before.

He’d text before I went to sleep:

Matty: “Good night, Ryxzz. I miss you already.”

Me: “I miss you more.”

He was obsessed with me in the most intense ways. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. He always said he couldn’t live without me.

And I believed him.

Because I was just as in love — maybe even more.

My mom, though working abroad, knew about him. I told her how kind he was, how he took care of me, and how he made me feel less alone in the city.

My sister met him, too — and she saw how much I smiled whenever I talked about him.

Even Matty’s family knew about me. I wasn’t just a hidden girl he liked. I was someone he introduced proudly.

We were five years into our relationship before anything truly intimate happened between us. I waited, and he did too. At least at first. He said he respected me. And I thought we were solid. I thought our love was unbreakable.

But then… he cheated.

He confessed, saying, “Because you never gave me what I wanted. I needed to feel it.”

My world collapsed in that moment.

It wasn’t just betrayal — it was blame.

As if my worth as a woman depended on what I could give, not who I was.

I cried for days. I couldn’t eat.

But despite the pain, I stayed.

Why?

Because I still loved him. Because I thought love meant holding on, even when you were bleeding.

He changed after that. Said sorry a thousand times. Promised it wouldn’t happen again. He tried harder. Gave me gifts. Cooked for me. Showed up with food when I was broke.

Matty: “Bumaba ka. I left food at the gate.”

He always knew when I had nothing.

Even when I was silent, he noticed.

And slowly, I forgave him — or maybe, I just pretended to.

Because part of me believed I had to.

We had happy memories too.

Celebrated birthdays with soda on the rooftop.

Laughed over instant noodles.

Took silly pictures with broken phones.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.

That love — the early love — made me feel like I was finally home.

But time moved forward.

He had to leave for family reasons. Messages became slower. Calls shorter. Our bond, once so unbreakable, began to crack. I’d wait for his replies. Overthink. Cry quietly.

“Are you still there?” I once asked over the phone.

“I’m here. I’m just tired,” he whispered. “But I still love you, Ryxzz.”

I wanted to believe him.

I needed to.

Because if I stopped believing… what would I have left?

⸻

And still, through all of it — the love, the cheating, the holding on — there was a time when everything was easier.

When our love was pure. When we were both whole.

Before the disappointments.

Before the resentment.

Before everything got too heavy.

Back when love was easy…

There was just me and Matty.

And even if it hurts now, I’ll never forget how much I loved him then.

And how much — at one point — he loved me too.