I Accidentally Became Duke Lysander’S Mistress
Why Is he SOO ANNOYING!
Author Kitty___🥀💍
Hi readers 😌
Author Kitty___🥀💍
This is my first Chat story 🥲
Author Kitty___🥀💍
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Author Kitty___🥀💍
*This means action* (This means thinking)
Naomi watched as her world came crashing down.
On screen the brooding duke took slow tortured step towards the woman he had ruined. They stood inches apart. Her eyes shimmered. The music swelled tragic strings in full melodramatic intensity.
Duke Lysander placed his cold hands on her soft cheeks, ‘I beg of you, from now on…take care of my son. Good bye forever…Evelyn Blackwood.’ He smirked, turning around and with all the elegance of a man who’d never paid taxes or showed emotional intelligence, he walked away. The scene faded to black– The credits start rolling.
Naomi
That’s it…THAT’S IT???
Naomi
ARE YOUR FU**ING KIDDING ME!
She stared at the TV in disbelief, then hurled the the remote across the room. It clattered cracked and slid under the couch as if it, too had given up on life. Frustrated she collapsed onto her couch in a heap of betrayal and caffeine - induced rage.
Naomi
*Groaning.* I have never, ever hated a show this much in my life. Three weeks. Three. Weeks of my spare time waisted on this flaming garbage of a plot! 😭
She grabbed a throw pillow and screamed into it.
Naomi
And for WHAT? To watch Evelyn get ghosted with a BABY AND A BASKET of DUKE INFUSED TRAUMA?!
She sat up, her hair now a bit wilder, her eyes manic with emotion.
Naomi
I mean sure, I admitted to deeply despising this series. I mocked it even warned people but deep down I was rooting for Evelyn. I wanted her to punch him. Or poison him or at least sue him for child support!
She grabbed her phone pulling up a picture from of Duke Lysander from the show, all cheekbones, dead eyes, and stormy hair.
Naomi
Tsk… why do you have to be so attractive you emotionally dense war crime of a man. 😡🤧
She stared at it. Unfazed. Blinked once.
Naomi
Oh no. Not now. First Duke Lysander, now my emotionally constipated ex?
—
(Text) Come outside. we need to talk
She stood, arms raised to the heavens.
Naomi
CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?! 😩
Author Kitty___🥀💍
OKAY THATS IT FOR NOW ✨
Author Kitty___🥀💍
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Did he just SHOOT?
Author Kitty___🥀💍
That’s it for now
Naomi stood by the handrail, deep in the middle of the woods, because of course this was where her incompetent ex–boyfriend wanted to meet. The same ex who somehow managed to remind her of Duke Lysander, the emotionally stunted menace from the most hated show she’d ever watched.
Naomi
Ugh… why did I even bother coming? This is probably one of his ridiculous “I’m a changed man” speeches again.
Naomi
😒Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.
In the distance, a tall figure emerged from the shadows, slow and dramatic wearing a hat like he thought he was in some kind of noir film.
She squinted, trying to make out his face.
He steps forward again removing his hat finally close enough for her to recognise the stupidly hopeful grin on his face.
Luke
*Luke beaming.* You actual came.
Naomi
*Cringing* 😬 Yeahhh…what do you want?
He moved in closer, gently grabbing her hand like this was some tragic romance.
Luke
*Eyes widen* I missed you so much pookie bear . 🥹
Naomi
*snatching her hand away.* Can you just get to the point already? Why am I here?
Naomi
*Cuts him off.* We. Are. DONE. What part of that do you not understand?
Naomi
Stop acting like a child and move on Luke.
She sighed, rolled her eyes hard enough to see another dimension, and turned around walking away, fully done.
Naomi
( officially the worst day)
–just in time to see the glint of a gun aimed right at her.
Author Kitty___🥀💍
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WHERE AM I!?
—
We have tried waking her up countless times madam, she out cold, like seriously deep in sleep.
___
*persistent* Then try again, she can’t just sleep like some dead log in this place.
[Shuffling sounds, low mutters]
___
When she wakes up tell her to get into the kitchen immediately. Understood?
—
*all three maids nod* Yes madam.
Raven
😮💨 Phew, peace at last.
Evelyn Blackwood
*Groans, touches forehead * Ughrr… my head. Huh? Where–?
Viviana
*Relieved but blunt * Finally! You’re awake. Now get up.
Her eyes fluttered open.
She was lying on a gigantic royal bed.
In a bedroom way too extravagant to be real.
Velvet drapes. Crystal chandelier.
Everything screamed money.
And three strangers stared down at her.
In what looked like… maid uniforms?
Evelyn Blackwood
(This is definitely a hallucination.
That last triple-shot espresso did me dirty.
I’m dreaming. For sure.)
The maids looked at her in confusion at why she wasn’t saying anything but instead making weird facial expressions.
Alice
Why’s she making that face?
Viviana
*Crossing her arms* Ugh, I don’t have time for this. GET UP AND GO TO THE KITCHEN!
Naomi’s eyes darted across the room.
Her chest tightened.
It looked… familiar.
Too familiar.
Evelyn Blackwood
*Jumps up in shock* Wait is this–?
Viviana
The duke’s bedroom? Exactly! 😌now off the bed. Into the kitchen. Move
Alice
Hurry, you know what happens when she gets impatient.
Then it hit her.
The maids.
Viviana. Alice. Raven.Weathering.
She KNEW them.
From the book.
From the series.
Evelyn Blackwood
No. No fu**ing. way
Evelyn Blackwood
*Pinches arm* Ouch… okay that hurt. This isn’t a dream.
Evelyn Blackwood
*eyes widened* This is real.
I’m actually in the story.
Inside his world.
On his bed.
Author Kitty___🥀💍
That’s it for now ✨
Author Kitty___🥀💍
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