Grabbed, dragged. There was no point in screaming or crying, struggling was pointless too. He yanked my arm and pulled me away from my mother's arms that were trembling like a leaf in a hurricane. Soldier's. They must be losing the war and are finding people they can force into it, but what would they need a child for? My mother's cries and screams could be heard as they beat her alive. My father had already gone to war and we never heard from him after he left.

"We found this one. She didn't struggle and although small she's got a stable body, let's take her."

The man holding onto my arm spoke in a slightly soft tone as he addressed the person in front but I could tell he wasn't a soft person. Not even to children. Another man approached me and looked down at my small frame with a calculating gaze.

"What is your name child?"

I pause, my lips are dry and my tongue is frozen in the cold. I breathe out into the mist.

"Xuě háizi. I'm 10."

"I see."

He brushes his beard with his fingers and I keep my gaze down on the pure white snow under my feet.

"Are you frail, do you have any medical conditions."

These aren't questions he's asking me, these are tests disguised as questions. I know if I say I do then that's it for me, but if I tell him I don't then they'll bring me with them...and probably train me as a soldier. They must've run out of Men and women to use. Now their only options are children.

"No sir."

I rely with courtesy.

"So be it. Take her."

I am dragged by the arm again towards a carriage. He places a cloth over my mouth and I feel the world around me fade and blur, must be Chloroform. When I wake up, I am lying on the floor In a dark room. There are small light beams coming from a stone window. bars too like a cell. I stand up, my body is weak and shaky but that doesn't stop me. I reach out and grab one of the bars. I stand on my tip toes and look out. Snow. And more snow...and...red snow. Red snow? No...blood, and bodies of soldiers. Some men, some women, it didn't matter. I stare at them for a moment, sooner or later that will be me. I then moved my gaze down to my wrist and ankles, no chains but to be fair why would you need to bother putting it on a child who couldn't run far even if they tried. Though I'm surprised they didn't at least use rope, it makes me feel like because I'm a child they underestimate me. I hear footsteps and let go of the bars, standing back. The man from before opens the steel door and looks down at me.

"Come."

I don't argue or resist, I follow. He leads me to a tent and we walk in. He tosses some clothes at me.

"Take these and change into them, you'll have one meal a day and training will be from dawn till dusk. You can run if you want but trust me when I tell you at least you have a chance of survival here. Out there is a death zone, you'll die before you get far so I suggest-"

"I won't run."

He looks at me, I don't want to be pitied, I won't be looked down upon.

"I was right when I believed you weren't as fragile as the rest. Alright then girl, let's see how long you'll last."

I nod, once I'm challenged I won't look back. Not until I win.

"Yes sir."

The clothes I am given are plain and dark, I wouldn't call them comfortable and they are thin too but those who are unable to survive the cold are unable to make it to the next step and will die off. I stand with the other children in a line. There are 40 of us. I'm surprised, I thought there'd be more, is this all that's left? The man who questioned me earlier walks in the room with his hands behind his back. A wooden sword in his hands.

"You will fight. And you will die. That is your purpose now. The chances of survival are slim to none. That being said it is not definite that you can't survive. So if you want to live to see the next season or even your next birthday you better work and train till your limbs feel as though they'll fall off. Do you understand?"

Many of the children hesitate, the fear is clear in their eyes and expressions but that won't help them, nor will crying. I raise my hand and eventually all hands are raised. The man nods in approval and then sends us off to a separate room where we begin training.

The training was based on weapons and kung fu. We were taught the basics and then left to train on our own with a partner. Speed and stamina were needed as well. In the end we did wooden sword fighting, punching and kicking practice and running. Compared to what we have to do now, I know things are going to get worse. They aren't just training us. They're testing us once again, those who are unable to keep up will die in training before they can even fight in the actual war.

I sit down in the corner of the room and look down at the food in front of me. Bread and milk, neither is warm but it doesn't matter as long as it's something I can eat. Though, they're going to starve us at this rate if this is all we get a day. After eating I go to the tent where us children will sleep. It's cramped and cold, no blankets or pillows but the snow serves as a cushion at least. I lay down on the floor and look up at the roof of the tent. Mama...I wonder if they actually did kill her, or maybe used her for something else-

A child comes in and flinches as she hears a loud slap noise. I rub my cheek and sit up.

"...sorry. I had a bad dream."

I tell the girl, she nods slowly and moves to a corner of the room to sleep. I'm disgusted, I doubt even if I survive this, I'll never be able to see my mother's body or grave...they don't bury people anymore they just throw them away and then burn them. I'm sorry mama, if I was stronger or older and less useless... perhaps we could've run...at least then we would have seen the end together. After an hour, all the children are asleep. I lie awake, how was I meant to sleep with this suspense constantly playing in my head. It's quiet and for once... it's peaceful. I shut my eyes and let my exhaustion take over. A loud banging noise is heard as a soldier wakes us up. All the children huddle and move away, scared. I stood up and rubbed my eyes, it felt like I slept 5 minutes even though it was 2 hours. My body is shaking, not from fear but from the cold and pain.

"Get up and go to the training room. No slacking."

They get up and slowly make their way there. I follow, once we get there the same soldiers from earlier train us and again it's wooden swords, karate and running. We have a five minute break and I go outside to get water. Whilst walking I look over at the other soldiers training with guns on animals they caught that will later be cooked and eaten. Sometimes when they are unable to find meat they take one of the women. I slap myself again, these horrible thoughts need to stop or else I'll corrupt myself. I fill up a sack of water and then turn to walk back but as I do I bump into someone and fall.

"Sorry."

I hear a dry and emotionless voice speak. I look up at a boy with black hair, tied with red braided string into a short ponytail and light grey eyes standing in front of me. I shake my head and stand up.

"It's fine."

He nods and then goes to get some water. I walk back to the training room and then look back to the side to get a glimpse of the soldiers again. I jump as I see the boy from earlier walking two steps behind me on my right. He's fast, I didn't hear him walking how weird.

"Hm. Did I scare you?"

I blink before shaking my head slowly.

"No I just didn't notice you walking so close to me, I was surprised is all"

He stares at me for a moment.

"Syaoran..."

I pause.

"Syaoran...is that your name?"

He nods, his gaze not shifting off my face. 'he who is a little wolf' a strangely unique name.

"My name is Xuě háizi."

He blinks and then repeats it.

"Xuě háizi..."

"Yes."

He looks down at the ground for a moment looking lost in thought. He's quiet and it's hard to tell what he's thinking. He then takes my hand and starts walking back. I stare at him in confusion. I can walk on my own... he's weird.

"Hurry up, break is over."

The soldier shouts as we walk back in. I set my water down and then walk over to stand in line. Wooden sword fighting again. I hold back a sigh of annoyance, I suppose it's important we get skilled at it but what I really want to learn is how to use a feifa. Why would you need to use a sword when you have a weapon that can shoot from long and short distances. It's much better to learn than waste time on this.

"Xuě háizi."

I snap out of my thoughts and look to my left. It's him again.

"Will you be my partner?"

I pause for a moment before nodding.

"Alright."

As we fight, I can tell he's got strong arms. His hits are fast and hard and his gaze shifts quickly. He's good. Really good actually, it's almost like he's done it before. I move to try and land a hit and he quickly notices before I could even swing i get hit in the face and fall. His eyes widen and he kneels down in front of me quickly.

"Xuě háizi! I- I'm sorry... Your nose is bleeding"

I stare at his face the blood running down my lips and down to my chin.

"Syaoran."

"Yes?"

I take his hand in mine.

"Would you be my partner again next time too?"

He just stares at me in disbelief.

"You- what?"

"And maybe even the training after that?"

He looks at my eyes which are full of determination and then sighs.

"If that's what you want, but I can't understand why"

He nods and I smile.

"Thank you."

He helps me up and holds my nose with his hand, stopping the bleeding. After asking for permission he walks me to the well. Using a cloth he cleans my face up from the blood.

"Blegh"

He looks over.

"Hm?"

"Blood tastes awful..."

He lifts my chin slightly.

"Spit and then I'll give you some water."

I nod and spit down on the snow, I cover it with snow using my foot and then he holds water out to me using his hands.

"I didn't bring my water sorry, drink here"

I look at the water he holds in his palms, I can see my reflection and my nose is red, my cheeks are pink and my skin is pale. I slowly drink it from his hand and the taste of blood is washed away. Due to the cold weather the water stays cold and refreshing. I then sit back, he wipes his wet hands on his clothes before lifting my chin again to see if my nose is still bleeding.

"It's stopped, that's good"

He almost sounds relieved. I stare at his eyes for a moment, grey... despite the fact that grey is seen as a dull colour, his is a pretty grey. Like the fur on a wolf...a wolf... little wolf...

"So that's why you have that name..."

He looks puzzled for a moment. I'm not sure but...

"Syaoran? Were you named after your eye colour because it's the same colour as a wolf's fur?"

He stares at me with wide eyes and is speechless for a moment before his gaze softens and he nods.

"I had a feeling, I was looking at your eyes...and I thought that such a beautiful grey suits you. I like it"

For a moment I see a spark of what looks like joy on his face but it quickly fades, masked by his expressionless demeanor.

"I'm glad"

I stand up and we walk back to the tent. The other children are already there eating.

"Soup..."

I mutter, slightly relieved that it's something warm this time.

"Yeah..."

He replies softly. We both take our portions and sit down. I have a spoon and gasp.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!"

I blow out trying to cool down my tongue and Syaoran chuckles slightly.

"Slowly, don't burn yourself."

"Too late for that."

I take another spoon and blow down on it, he does on his too and we both eat. A grateful smile forms on my lips.

"Warm...and yummy..."

He nods.

"Yeah, it's actually good..."

I end up finishing it quickly.

"I wish we could get seconds... I'm still hungry."

He looks over at me.

"Want the rest of mine?"

I look at him in surprise.

"What? No, that's yours I can't take it from you then you'll be hungry."

"Trust me I'm fine plus there's only a little bit left and I don't mind sharing"

I frown.

"Still, even that small bit is important"

He hands it to me.

"Think of it this way, I'm repaying you after hitting you earlier. Okay?"

I pause and look down at it.

"Fine...thank you, really"

He nods and watches me eat the rest with a small smile.

At twilight, we go to sleep. Again, I struggle to sleep due to my crude dreams. I groan and bury my face in my sleeve.

A whole week. It's been a whole week and despite the fact I have tried to focus on something else, I even hit my head on purpose to get those stupid thoughts out but nothing's worked...and it will probably get even worse.

I stare blankly when I am interrupted by Syaoran.

"Xuě háizi, you're spilling your water on the floor."

I blink and then look down to see half of my water in a puddle on the floor.

"Ah- gahh-! I'm so stupid!"

I wipe it using my long burgundy skirt.

"You've been in your own world a lot lately, is something or someone troubling you?"

I pause and my expression goes neutral as I shake my head.

"No, I suppose you could say I'm just slightly afraid...of dying. There's...so much I want to do when I get older...and If I survive I might be able to do them... though, the chances are low. I hate this."

He listens to me in silence.

"...and if I'm being honest, I've been having the most gruesome thoughts and dreams. No matter what I do they won't go away-"

"So that's why you've been harming yourself."

I flinch. Ugh he's so perceptive...and I can tell by his expression he's unhappy.

"...well, what else am I supposed to do huh?"

I say defensively and cross my arms. Arguing is pointless if you know you're going to lose, but I'm just too stubborn and I hate losing.

"Honestly..."

I open one eye to glance at him.

"What am I going to do with you..."

He paused to think, What's up with him? He usually fights me back so he can point out the obvious so that I have to listen to him and give in.

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

He places his hand on my shoulder.

"Please"

I groan before closing my eyes slowly. At first it's all darkness and then...one of my ugly memories replay's. My mother, getting beaten and used and then... My eyes snap open and I hold back a scream.

"One minute..."

"H-Huh?"

I say in a shaky voice as Syaoran counts under his breath. I have no idea what he's on about.

"What are you doing? Why did you ask me to close my eyes?"

He looks back at me.

"Tell me one of your happy memories."

"No."

"Xuě háizi-"

"Not until you tell me what it is your scheming."

He sighs.

"I'm not scheming at all. I'm trying to help you so just... trust me please."

I don't fully understand what this help is but I know he doesn't lie, not to me at least.

"Fine, I trust you"

He smiles slightly and nods.

"My... happy memories..."

"That's right..."

I think hard, it's almost as though I've forgotten them...but how can anyone forget the wonderful moments in their life?

"There-....is one I can think of..."

He gestures for me to continue.

"My...me and my mother were making yuèbǐng (mooncakes) I was 6...and then father...he came home after 3 years of war...he told us he was going to only be there for a few days but we were so happy we didn't care as long as he was with us. We were together, I helped father with work and...we were so happy. It only lasted a week though."

He opens his eyes.

"That's bittersweet..."

I chuckle bitterly.

"It was...after that I never saw him again. We assumed he had either left us or died fighting. He had no reason to go, it had nothing to do with the small happy village we were in. Nothing. My mother said he was brave but I think he was stupid."

"I won't pity you I promise"

I look up at him and he pats my back.

"Now close off all that hatred, think only of the happy memory of you, your mother and father...and once again close your eyes."

I close my eyes again. This is hard...I see my mother being beaten again and just when I can't watch anymore it shifts. I am sitting on the wooden table in our small house, mother is hugging father and I stare at them before standing up and running over to them. I feel my father's big strong arms embrace me and it's warm. My mother follows, it's so peaceful...I feel safe and relieved...and...

Syaoran smiles softly in approval.

"Good... you're relaxing"

I smile slightly and then after a few moments I open my eyes and meet his grey ones.

"All better?"

I nod.

"You're welcome"

I pout.

"Now I really owe you don't I?"

He chuckles lightly.

"No need, I'm just glad I could help. Every time you go to bed, do the same method. I'll even help you if you need it."

"Thank you, really. I don't think I'll ever stop needing your help."

He pats my head.

"I'll be here whether you need me"

We stand up and the soldiers shout out that our break it over. Training has been nothing short of tough and painful but if we want to survive complaining is not an option. I won't let it get to me, the fear of death nor those fatal thoughts. I'll focus on living. No matter what I have to sacrifice. The days grow colder and darker and the snow is neverending. I stand in the training tent and look around.

"That's odd... where is he?"

"Xuě háizi."

I look over to see Syaoran and I smile for a split second before it drops.

"What..."

I notice an oddly nice ring on his left hand. He follows my gaze and then takes it off and shoves it in his pocket.

"It's nothing, and old trinket, nothing too important"

I don't trust that. It's an obvious lie why is he even hiding it? Is there something he's not telling me?...

"You're looking at me as if I'm something you despise Xuě háizi."

I flinch and shake my head.

"N-no it's nothing...just like that ring of yours..."

I mumble. He stares at me.

"Excuse me..."

Syaoran turns away and begins to walk out of the tent.

"H-hey where are you goi-"

" For a drink... that's all. Don't worry yourself I'll be back soon"

I blink in confusion and hesitate.

"S-sure...be safe..."

"Yes"

He smiles softly before leaving with a questionable look.

"How odd... I've never seen him so..."

I stare at my feet before shaking my head.

"No...I need to focus on training, like he said it was nothing. Nothing at all...

I pinch my arm.

"...Right...?

He walks in silence, the snow crunching under his boots. His expression is unreadable. Walking past the soldiers they didn't say a word to him either.

"I mustn't slip up like that again. I can tell..."

The memory of my expression appears back in his mind.

"It's alright... I'm sure I can."

Snow fell gently from the overcast sky, like a veil blanketing the ground in a soft layer of white. trees stood still, their naked branches dusted with frost each flake drifting lazily through the cold, crisp air. Everything felt hushed as if the world had paused beneath winter’s embrace. The silence was deep, broken only by the whisper of wind weaving through his dark hair.