Drive Me Crazy, Literally
Long drive
Everyone this is my first cs hope you love it 🚶
Title: Three Devils and a Roadtrip (21+, chaotic edition)
Engine running. Suitcases loaded. But the real weight? Zade’s unwilling soul and Zain’s infinite energy.
Zain
Zaddy bro, move! I’m not sitting next to Ales papa, I’ll be dead from his lectures in 10 mins
Zade
You’re 21. Act like it. And I’m not moving. My back hurts just thinking about the backseat
Zain
Your back hurts ‘cause you sleep like a corpse. Get a life
Zade
Got one. Left it at home
Ales
If you both don’t shut up in the next ten seconds, I swear I’ll turn this car around like some middle-aged dad.
Zain
Papa, you are a middle-aged dad. Emotionally. Also, did you pack snacks?
Ales
"Yeah, I packed patience. Want some?"
An hour later – in the middle of nowhere
Zain
I’m bored. Let’s play ‘truth or punch.
Zade
Why not ‘truth or shut the hell up’?
Zain
Boooooring! Ales papa, back me up.
Ales
If either of you makes me stop here, I’m ditching you both in the desert. Figure it out like grownups
Zain
You can’t ditch your cub, papa... that’s abuse
Zade
Ales, your cub is about to climb into the glovebox out of boredom
Ales
Good. He might find a brain in there
Zain
Dada, he roasted you. You just gonna sit there?
Zade
Shotgun! He roast you not me
Zain
( another topic to bicker on )
Ughhh, Zaddy, you're always in that seat!
Zade
Because I deserve peace, which doesn’t exist next to you
Ales
Shut the fuck up you both
I’m not babysitting full-grown disasters all day
Zain
Papa, why are you so mean to your cub?
Ales
Because my cub behaves like an untrained hyena
Zade
That’s an insult to hyenas
Zain
Wow. Betrayed by blood and by... semi-blood
Ales
Call me ‘semi’ one more time, and I’ll semi-kick your ass out
Zade
Can we just drive in silence before my will to live dies again?
Zain
(again )
Let’s play truth or dare!
Zain
Scared you’ll get exposed?
Zade
Scared tch more like I’ll lose more brain cells
Ales
Both of you shut it. Five minutes of silence, I beg
Zain
Fine. But if I die of boredom, I’ll haunt you
Zade
You already haunt me when you’re alive
Zain
"Papa, Dada’s being mean."
Ales
"Handle your own mess, Cub."
Zain
"Papa, can I play music?"
Zain
"I wasn’t asking you, Dada."
Ales
"One song. No chaos remixes."
Zain
"Play Baby Shark trap remix"
Ales
"Turn it off or I’ll break your phone."
Zain
"You both are boring. Old men."
Zade
"And you're an overgrown toddler."
Zain
"I think we’re lost."
Zade
"No. We’re exactly where my regrets brought me."
Ales
"We’re fine. One wrong turn. Chill."
Zain
"Define ‘fine’ without using sarcasm."
Zade
"Impossible. I’m me."
Ales
"Zade, help with the map."
Zade
"I have no idea where we are, baby."
Ales
"Don’t 'baby' me while being useless."
Zain
"Aww, couple fight. Should I play romantic violin?"
Zade
eww couples and Play your funeral song instead
Zade
"You can’t even park your thoughts properly."
Zade
too bad you are already dead 🚶🚶
Zain
like comment and share your review
Zade
And reason for this story I was being bored 🥱
Zade
And half credit goes to my princess
Crimson muse
Who help me write this shit
Zade
next part will be come soon
Zain driving chaos
Zain
Papa... come on. Just ten minutes. I swear on Dada’s skincare routine I’ll be careful
Zade
Don’t drag my glow into your death wish
Zain
Zadd pleaseee, you said you want me to grow up—let me do man things
Ales
Man things don’t include crashing into mailboxes
Zain
I’ll be careful! Promise! Pinky swear with extra guilt
Ales
.....Fine. But one scratch, and you’re walking home in socks
Zain
YES! Outta the way peasants! The king is taking the wheel!
Zade
King? You drive like a court jester
Five minutes later, Zain is driving. Zade in the backseat looking dead. Ales in passenger seat regretting life.
Zain
See? Smooth. Elegant. Like butter sliding down a hot dosa
Zade
You’re in the middle of two lanes
Ales
Stay in one lane before I yeet you into the other
Zain
I got this! Watch how I overtake this slow grandpa car—
Zade
That’s a cop. Sit down, Vin Diesel
Zain
I got nerves of steel
Ales
You have the brain of a deflated balloon
Zain turns to look at them while talking.
Zain
I’m literally doing amazing right now—
CRASH!!
Thump. Zain’s car hits a trash can. It flies. Drama. Honk. A dog barks in the distance.
Zain
...I think it was already dead?
Zade
You hit a THUMB-SIZED trash can, dumbass. How?? It wasn’t even moving!
Ales
GET OUT. GET. OUT OF THE SEAT. NOW
Zain
But I only sneezed for like one second—
Zade
You sneezed, blinked, looked at us, and took the CAN on a honeymoon
Ales
New rule. Zain drives never. Not even a toy car. Not even in dreams
Zain
Wow. I try to grow, and y’all crush my soul
Zade
You crushed that can’s soul
Ales
Pray that was the only thing
Zain, Zade, and Ales standing by the roadside, trying (and failing) to get help after the trashcan-crashing disaster
Zain
Okay, slight hiccup in the journey. But look! I parked it... eventually
Zade
Into a pole. You parked it into a pole
Ales
Now we’re stranded. In the middle of nowhere. With zero network. With you
Zain
Look on the bright side! At least we’re bonding?
Zade
Don’t talk to me unless a car appears or I do
Zain sticks out his thumb to hitchhike as cars whiz by.
Zain
Hey! Friendly stranded faces here! Possibly hot if you squint!
Zade
Don’t advertise us like we’re on discount
Ales
Lower your shirt. We’re not that desperate yet
Zain
What if I cry? People usually stop for crying boys
Zade
Not when the crying boy looks like he just committed arson
Zain
Wow. I feel so supported
A car slows down… and zooms past.
Zain
They made eye contact with me and STILL left??
Zade
Even strangers sense the chaos in your aura.
Ales
I think you scared them off. Maybe less 'lost puppy', more 'not wanted criminal'?
Zain
Okay, wow. Y’all roast me like I’m tonight’s barbecue
Zade
You’re the main course
Ales
And dessert’s your driving license. Oh wait—you don’t have one
Another car approaches. Zain runs to the road, arms waving like a madman.
Zain
HELLOOO! FAMILY IN NEED! GOOD HAIR AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
Zade
Give reviews and ignore the mistakes
Destiny
Zain
HELLOOO! FAMILY IN NEED! GOOD HAIR AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Zade
Get out of the road before you become a speed bump.
Ales
Your best got us here. In the middle of nowhere. Next to a twitching trashcan
Finally, a pickup truck slows down and stops.
Driver (from window):
"Y’all okay?"
Zain
(hopeful)
Yes! We are three emotionally unstable but hot men in need of rescue!
Zade
Just say we need a lift. For the love of peace
Ales
Please ignore him. Can you help us get to the next town?
Driver:
"...Only got space for two."
Zain
GASP! Pick me! I’m small and adorable!
Zade
Then walk, Bambi. I’m not squeezing with your chaos
Ales
I’ll go arrange help. You two? Don’t kill each other before I’m back
Zain
Papa’s abandoning his cub!!
Zade
"And Dada’s about to sell you to forest spirits."
Driver (of the truck):
"Two of you hop in. Rest gotta figure it out."
Zain
But what about Dada—?
Zade
(eyes narrowing, suddenly smirking)
Hold that truck, boys. I spot... salvation in heels.
A sleek black car slows down. A gorgeous woman in shades and red lipstick is driving. Zade runs fingers through his hair and saunters to the window like he owns the her
Zade
Now that’s a sight more beautiful than this cursed highway
Zade
Sorry—had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. You know, queens don’t usually drive cars
Destiny
Are you trying to flirt for a ride?
Zade
I’m trying to flirt for a miracle, darling
Zain
(whispering excitedly):
ZADDY IS FLIRTING! ZADD IS—mmph!
Ales
(hand clamped on Zain's mouth)
Shut. Up. Let the peacock work
Zade
(grinning)
Desperate times. But if I were to be stranded anywhere, I’d want it to be next to you
Destiny
Flattery’s dangerous, you know
Destiny
(shakes her head, smiling)
Fine. Hop in, pretty boy. Backseat's open for your friends too
Zain
(muffled under Ales’s hand)
MMMM I KNEW IT!!
Ales
(removing hand)
You're lucky she didn’t slap him
Zain
She probably wanted to. Or kiss him. I can't tell anymore
Zade
(opening the door dramatically)
Your chariot awaits, losers. Courtesy of charm, bone structure, and zero shame
Ales
(chuckle and pushes zain inside)
One day, your flirting’s gonna get us arrested
Zade
And until then? It's getting us rides
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