The days were long. Long as they had never been. The air was still in the room. Nothing

moved. It had been three days since I had locked myself in. It had been three days since I had broken up with Avantika. I read a page from my old diary, from three years back, where I used to recount every important day of my life, and the first time I had met Avantika was one of them.

There were other people in that incident, who were no longer in my life, but Avantika was and she always will be

.

I guess …

September 2019

Today was a day when I spent most of my time with my eyes and mouth wide open. Avantika had just landed and my best friend wanted me to meet her.

I was told that Avantika had been in rehab for her drugs and alcohol problem but that was more than a year back. I had already started imagining Avantika as a leather-jacketed gothic chick with metal piercings and black nail paint.

And then ....ther she was... !

That could have been the last thing I remembered from today had I had a weak heart. I had passed out for a few seconds for sure. My heart skipped a beat or maybe it just stopped beating altogether. I was choking. My stomach churned. I felt the blood rush down to the ends of my arteries and then burst out. I could feel my brain imploding. I was going to die and I was sure.

She is breathtakingly beautiful! She is a dream. Even better, you could not even dream of something so perfect. Plastic surgeons still cannot rival God, I thought.

She is so hard to describe. Those limpid, constantly wet black eyes and melancholic face screamed for love. The moonlight that reflected off her perfectly sculpted cheekbones seemed the only light illuminating the surroundings. Somebody stood with a blower nearby to get her long, black hair to cover her face so that she could look sexier flicking it away from her eyes. She has the big eyes of a month-old child—big and screaming for attention—a perfectly drafted nose, flawless bright pink lips and a smooth, pale complexion that would put Photoshop to shame.

Oh hell, she is way out of my league.

She was a goddamn goddess or she was the devil.

She could not possibly be human.

I just could not look beyond her face.

I was not seeing right, I was not hearing right. I was just lost in the reflecting pools in those

beautiful eyes. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it would pop out of my chest any moment. She asked me how I was doing; her voice was music to my ears.

Drugs? Alcohol? Leather? She would not even know all that. I did see the remnants of a piercing just above her left eyebrow, and sure enough, a tattoo peeked out from under her sleeve: a red swastik sign. I told myself it was just a dream and I didn’t just see the prettiest girl ever.

I managed to answer her in what seemed like my fourth attempt at speaking after the first three ended in some soundless flapping of my tongue. It was a strange feeling—I was nervous, shit nervous. I felt small. I felt ugly. I felt insignificant. I looked at her and smiled stupidly. I wondered if her dog looked cuter than I did.

I spent the evening trying not to stare into those fall-in-love-with-me eyes.

I like your nose, can I touch it? I wanted to say.

I like your lips, are they for real? I wanted to say.

I like your eyes, can I stare into them forever? I wanted to say.

I truly have not seen someone who is so perfect in her existence that you feel worthless and depressed. The simplicity of what she came wearing, the honesty in her smile, the serenading voice, the depth of her eyes—unforgettable.

It has been four hours since I took her leave but I cannot get her out of my head. That smile, those eyes … they are just not leaving me. As I sleep today, I wish to see her again. Soon.

This was the day that marked the end of my reckless dating days, when the only

consideration while choosing a girl used to be whether she would kiss me or not. That day

was different. I needed her.

It had been three and a half years since then, and I had fallen in love with Avantika every

single day of the twelve hundred and seventy-five days that we had been together. I have

been more in love with her every new day. Between that day and today, she has only got

more beautiful, more charming, more adorable and lovelier.

Why me, of all the guys she could have dated? I had never managed to figure that one out. I closed my eyes and thought about what had got me here, alone and suicidal.

1

I had been tense for the last few days. Interviews for summer internships at Management

Development Institute, Gurgaon, had started; Avantika and I did not want to go to different

cities for our internships.

I had first met Avantika when I was studying engineering at Delhi College of Engineering

and she was studying at Shri Ram College of Commerce. We graduated from our colleges,

and joined the same firm in Hyderabad; things were going perfect for us. We were just

twenty-two but had started planning our future together. On days when we were sure that we

would always be together, she even told me what names she had decided for her kids. We

were that serious.

It had been a while that we had been working when recession hit our firm and I was

thrown out of the company. I worked for a smaller firm for a couple of months but it wasn’t

really the same. That is when we decided we needed to study further and started studying

for the management entrance examinations. Three months later, we were at MDI, a top-rung

management institution in Gurgaon, and we couldn’t be happier.

I hadn’t stayed away from her for a really long time now, and the prospect of going to

different cities for our internship scared me.

‘I am sure I will screw this one up,’ I said, rubbing my sweaty palms together. The

company had shortlisted fifteen students for the interview stage. They had planned to take

just four. Avantika and I were among the last few in the preference order that the company

had stated.

‘You will not screw it up. Relax,’she said and rubbed my hands.

‘But what if they take the first four guys and leave the campus? We might not even get a

chance for an interview!’ I grumbled.

Many companies did that. They did not want to interview a whole lot of people to choose

their interns. They specified an order in which the students should come. If they liked the

person, they would take him or her and close the placement process. The students lower

down in the interview schedule often didn’t get a chance!

‘Let’s hope for the best!’she said.

‘Avantika? Rubbing your hand like that on my shoulder would only distract me,’ I pointed

out.

‘You clear the interview and I will do it without your clothes on,’she winked.

‘I won’t get through.’

‘You will. Trust me,’she said.

When two beautiful eyes look at you and say something with conviction, you cannot help

but believe it. She smiled at me and it calmed my nerves a little.

The first interview was over. The guy came out smiling and with an offer letter in hand.

My hopes died. There were just three more seats to fill up and there were ten interviews

before me. There was no way Avantika and I were clearing this interview together.

‘Now what!’ I said.

‘Relax, Deb. There are still three seats left.’

‘And ten guys to interview! What if they choose even two?’

For the first time that morning, I saw her a little tense. ‘I should go talk to the guy

handling this thing.’

‘What can he change?’ I asked irritably.

‘Let’s see,’she said and handed over her file to me.

Avantika looked stunning that day. She seemed to have jumped out of a women’s formal-

wear fashion magazine: the short business skirt she wore looked fabulous on her, and a

perfectly fitting blazer and shiny black pointed stilettos completed the power-woman

picture. She made the clothes look good and not vice versa. There were whispers in the

corridors of our college that morning, ‘Obviously, she will get through! She is so hot!’

Avantika got up and walked up to the college representative who was handling the

interview process. There were hushed whispers around me. I saw Avantika tell him

something, her eyes stern, but her smile was in place.

‘What is she doing?’ I heard the guy sitting next to me ask his friend. Avantika talked to

that senior for a little while, came back, and sat next to me.

‘What was going on there?’ I asked.

‘Nothing. Just be prepared. You will be the next one to be interviewed. Do well,’she

pulled up my tie.

What!

The guy from the interview room came out. He was not selected.

‘Debashish Roy, you’re next,’ the college representative said.

I got up and entered the room. The whispers of other shortlisted students grew louder; no

one was happy that Avantika had charmed her way into getting her boyfriend into the

interview room.

No one said anything to her.

Avantika had always been intimidating for people who did not know her. One stern

statement from her and the authority crushes you. One smile of hers and you are charmed,

lost in those beautiful sparkling eyes and the dazzling smile. It had been three years and I

was still trying to cope with these.

The interview was slightly long, but I had been taught well by Avantika. Soon, they

slipped the offer letter in front of me. I signed the document and came out smiling. People

looked at me, disgusted. ‘Fuck you,’ I muttered under my breath.

I sat there with Avantika and hoped no one else made it. The next few went in for the

interview and no one got selected. Eat that, motherfuckers, I said in my head every time

someone left that room without an offer.

Finally, they called Avantika in. There were still two seats left. And as expected, she

came out flashing an offer letter.

‘To my room,’she said, even before I could congratulate her.

Twenty minutes later, we were in her hostel room, wrapped around each other. Our well-

ironed suits lay crumpled and strewn across the floor. Our bodies were a tangled heap,

intertwined, our fingers wrapped around each other’s. She was still wearing her stilettos.

My socks had still not left my feet.

‘That was good,’she said.

‘Good? That was awesome.’

‘Yeah. You were good. I was the awesome part of this entire session,’she winked.

I was still tired and panting from the lovemaking, when I saw a few tears in her eyes.

‘Aw! What happened, baby?’ I asked her.

‘I heard someone call me a slut today,’she answered.

I knew people would talk. ‘You’re mine, baby,’ I said.

‘They don’t matter anyway. We do,’she said and wiped off her tears.

‘Just curious—what did you say to him?’

‘I just requested him that since you have no other shortlists, you should be allowed in

first. That this was your last chance at a decent internship …’

‘Didn’t he know that I had three more shortlists?’

‘He forgot,’she smiled naughtily.

We kissed.

I was happy that we had got into the same company and were going to the same city for

our internship, but I did not like that she had to flirt with someone to get it done. People

talked about it for a few days and then forgot. It hurt her when people said things about her

behind her back, but she tried not to show it.

Assholes.

2

‘Hey!’ I waved my hand from the lift lobby.

She looked, ignored my frantic hand movements across the hallway and went back to the

computer screen. I walked slowly through the cubicles on both sides, and smiled at people

who knew me and they smiled back at me. Most of them knew where I was heading to.

‘Good morning,’ I said. Her perfume wafted into my nostrils. The perfume was my third

anniversary gift, three bottles of it, and she had vowed to wear it every single day. She had

made the fragrance her own. Three days in a swampy tent in Ooty and she would still smell

the same.

‘What the hell were you doing there?’she asked angrily, not sharing my enthusiasm. Her

frown and her wide open eyes didn’t scare me; it just made her look more adorable. It’s as

cute as a puppy wrestling a rubber ball.

‘I was just excited to see you.’

She turned away from me and flicked her hair behind her ear, ‘You don’t have to show the

entire floor that you were excited.’

‘What? Everyone knows that we are together,’ I argued.

She had got fairer, if that was possible. Her nose looked a little red from the chill in the

air; her lips a little more red and cheeks a little more pull-able. She looked gorgeous.

‘Not the bosses. They don’t know about us and they don’t have to.’

‘So what? What if they know?’ I asked, as I pulled up a chair from the nearby desk.

‘They are old people, Deb, they don’t understand all this. Office romances are not seen in

a kind light, Deb.’

‘First of all, we are just interns here. And second, this is not a romance,’ I said. ‘This is

just a fling. All I bear for you is unprecedented lust.’

She caught me in a gaze, her lips slightly parted, infinitely sexy. ‘Is it so?’

‘It sure is,’ I said.

‘Then you really don’t mind,’she turned away from me and tapped on the keyboard, ‘if I

check out other guys’ profiles on Facebook … Oh, I think this one is hot. Should I send him

a friend request? He would be hot in bed too, I guess. But why look outside, when I have

Kabir right here in the office?’

My heart shrank. Even as a joke, it wasn’t funny. It didn’t help that Kabir was taller,

fairer, handsomer and more accomplished; also he had always harboured a soft corner for

Avantika.

‘Why, why, why would I mind? Go ahead. Sleep with him for all I care. I don’t mind. Did

I tell you about last night? Last night was awesome. Malini is incredible in bed. I mean, she is really good.’

Avantika looked at me, her eyes quivering and still big, ‘Never say that.’

‘You started it.’

‘Never.’

‘Okay.’

3

Avantika and I had been going out for quite a few years now, and except for one break-up

that lasted a little while, it had been a smooth ride. Well, not really. The days were smooth,

the nights … rough. I wasn’t complaining. Three years and empty classrooms, hostel rooms,

secluded roads and movie hall: things like these still excited us. We still couldn’t keep our

hands off each other, and we still acted like teenagers on a hormone overload. A girl like

her had no business to even kiss a guy like me, but she did, and I was thankful for that.

‘So, season eight?’she asked, fiddling through the rack of CDs.

‘Whichever would do.’

‘The Man with the Long Stick?’she asked.

‘No, that is a little boring.’

‘The Turkey?’

‘No, that we have seen a million times.’

‘The Gas Burst?’

‘Umm … no.’ I shook my head. ‘Why don’t we watch the fifth season, the third or the

fourth episode?’

‘Why didn’t you say it in the first place?’she said, a little miffed.

‘I like it when you ask.’

‘Drama queen.’

She hit the play button. It was probably the hundredth time we were watching this

episode, but I didn’t mind. Every time, it was funnier than the last time. I had tried watching

those sitcoms alone, but they were never as much fun as they were with her. She snuggled up

to me, passed on the popcorn and closed her eyes. ‘What do you think will happen

tomorrow?’she asked.

‘You will get the job, that’s what,’ I said.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. There’s absolutely no competition. You have worked nights on an internship. No

one does that. You will be their first choice, Avantika.’

She felt a bit relaxed and hugged me tighter.

The next day was pretty exciting for interns like her who were expecting a pre-placement

offer. Which meant a few interns will go back with an assured job in hand with still a year

to go for college to end.

Avantika fancied her chances.

I couldn’t wait to go back to college. It had been two months that I had been going to that

monstrous building made out of steel and glass, wearing a suffocating tie, and I couldn’t take

it any more. Avantika, on the other hand, had been hyperventilating since the morning. We

didn’t exchange a single word till the time we reached office for the last day of our

internship.

‘It will be okay,’ I assured her.

It wasn’t until afternoon that the managers called all of us and gave us an extensive

review on how each one of us had done during the internship. The reviews for Avantika and

Kabir stood out and their managers couldn’t stop gloating over their dedication and the hard

work they had put in. I slept through most of it. I just wanted to hear whether they would

offer Avantika a job or not. That’s all I cared for. The conference ended and we all walked

out. We had expected that they would announce the names of the interns they had chosen for

a job but they didn’t. They said they needed more time to decide since everyone was so

brilliant. Obviously, they weren’t talking about me because my manager described my

performance as ‘he didn’t miss deadlines’. He was a prick anyway.

‘What do you think of the chances?’she asked.

‘You will get through. Did you not hear what he said? You were brilliant, and I didn’t

hear him say these words for anyone else.’

‘You are just being sweet,’she said. ‘Even Kabir’s manager was so gung-ho about him.’

‘Why would I be sweet?’

‘Because that’s what you are,’she answered. ‘I’m so nervous. I think I will pass out.’ She

kept chewing on her painted nails. ‘Deb, do you think we can go to the human resources

department and ask for the cheques of our stipends?’

‘Is that what you want to do on your last day in this office?’ I asked.

‘What do you have in mind?’ Avantika asked. Silly question, I thought.

A little later, we were walking to the conference room, nervous and sweating. The people

in the cubicles who looked at us as we walked past them had no idea what was on our

minds. The walk of shame lasted an hour and my heart was thumping. We bolted the door

behind us.

‘What if we get caught? This is not good,’she said.

‘I know,’ I answered and she put her hands across me. ‘But this is my revenge for

whatever the internship put me through.’

‘They paid you while you sat at my desk doing nothing.’

‘Oh, shut up,’ I grumbled. ‘Don’t kill my anger. I’m really angry and I become a really

good kisser when I’m angry.’

‘Why haven’t I ever felt that?’ She chuckled.

I pulled her close. ‘Whatever.’

The projector of the room was still running. Avantika killed the lights and darkness

engulfed us. We were bat-shit scared, but the thrill of making out in an office conference

room couldn’t have been ignored.

Half an hour later, as we lay on the floor of the conference room, exhausted, she said,

‘Let’s go away, Deb.’

‘Go away? Where?’

‘Anywhere? Somewhere far from here. There are still five days to go for college and we

have nothing to do.’

‘We can just stay at my place and do nothing.’

‘That’s boring,’she said. ‘Let’s go to Goa? It’s not that far! I have been so tense with the

internship and the pre-placement offer. I deserve a break, don’t I?’

‘Are you serious?’ I asked her because in the past two months I had suggested the same

about three thousand times.

She rested her head on my shoulder. ‘I’m serious.’

‘Goa it is then! I just have a lot of packing to do,’ I mumbled.

We smiled. Soon, we realized that we couldn’t lay around ***** in the conference room

much longer. We got up, checked each other’s necks for love bites, kissed each other one

more time and headed back to our seats. A victorious smile broke out on my face.

4

I was really excited about the Goa plan, but packing weighed it down and I was more

hassled than excited. Packing is not a very cool or a masculine thing to do. I got irritated in

a while and called her up for help. My clothes were strewn all over the bed, the dining

table, the washroom … they were everywhere, and I didn’t know where to start. Avantika

had already packed and was on her way to my place. I panicked, grabbed hold of all the

clothes and stuffed them inside two suitcases, and there were still boxers, socks and

trousers, waiting to be folded and packed. Somehow my clothes had expanded during the

two-month stay and wouldn’t fit in the two suitcases they had come in. I gave up. It was a

lost cause.

‘How much more time will you need to pack, Deb?’she asked as the cab driver piled up

five of her seven suitcases neatly over one another in the drawing room.

‘Avantika? Exactly how many clothes do you have?’

‘Leave that,’she snapped and paid the cab driver.

She was positively shocked when she entered my flat; she looked around like she had

stepped in a post-war Nazi camp with bodies lying around, decomposing. It was a rotting

bachelor’s pad, and I had done well to keep her away from it during our internship.

‘This smells like a rotting crime scene,’she grumbled.

‘Why do you think I spend more time at your flat than mine?’ I asked. She was rolling up

her sleeves. ‘You don’t have to bother with that, Avantika. Let’s just pack and leave.’

It was already too late; she was already mopping. She was an obsessive cleanliness

freak. A speck of dust and she would rush to dust the whole room, one soiled pair of boxers

in one corner of the room, and she would make it her agenda to get my whole wardrobe

washed. The only reason why my room in the MDI hostel was probably the cleanest of all

rooms, including the girls’ rooms and excluding hers, was Avantika.

‘Deb, is this how you pack?’ She yanked open the suitcases and the clothes spilled over.

It was like the suitcase threw up all over her. ‘And you have mixed all your stuff. These are

so smelly. And don’t just sit around there. Come and help me with this.’

I walked up and pretended to fold clothes and jammed them into suitcases.

‘You are doing nothing, Deb. Just go and do whatever you want to do,’she said angrily.

Not wanting to piss her off more, I just sat there and looked at her as she neatly segregated

the clothes and then placed them in different bags and suitcases, her face constantly

crumpled due to the ungodly smell.

‘It’s insane that you can look so great even while you’re packing clothes into a suitcase,’ I

remarked.

‘Shut up and don’t distract me,’she said. I could sense her smiling even as she pretended

to be angry.

‘I am done,’she said.

The bags and suitcases were done, the wardrobes were empty, the toiletries and the shoes

had been packed, the utensils had been washed and the flat now looked habitable; it also

stank less somehow.

‘So, we leave now?’ I asked.

‘In a while,’she said. ‘Let me catch some breath first.’ She flopped down beside me.

‘You’re by far the dirtiest boy I have ever seen.’ She breathed heavily.

I leaned in to kiss her but she slapped me away. ‘Your mouth stinks of dead rat. Did you

even brush today?’ She scowled.

‘I did!’

‘You still smell like shit.’ She laughed.

‘Why don’t you simply say you don’t want to kiss me?’

‘Didn’t I do that just this morning?’

She pulled me by the collar and planted a long one on my lips. And as it happened every

time, bolts of electricity ran through my spine as she pulled me deeper inside her mouth. Her

sweet lips and rampaging tongue turned my world upside down every time they touched

mine. She let me go while she still stared into my eyes.

‘You taste terrible.’

‘But you seem to like it.’

‘I love it.’

The plan to Goa was cancelled, like every other plan. There was never a better plan than

just being in her arms. She told me that she was tired and I told her that we should just hug

each other, sleep and not leave the bed for the next five days. Avantika nodded like a little

child and buried her head into my chest.

‘So we are not going anywhere then, are we?’she asked, her eyes twinkling.

‘Does it look like we are going?’

‘Are we just sleeping?’she asked.

‘Yes,’ I said and made her lie down on a pillow.

‘Where are you going? I need someone to hug,’she said adorably and my heart melted in

unrecognizable blobs.

‘I will just come.’

‘Okay,’she said, rubbed her face on the pillow, closed her eyes and smiled.

I took a mental note—burn the pillow, she loves it. I returned with a ring I had bought for

her with the stipend of our first months’ internship. My friends advised me against getting

her a ring because of the obvious symbolic connotations of buying a girl a ring, but I

couldn’t care less. If anything, I bought the ring for its symbolic connotations.

‘Come here. I missed you already,’she said and pulled me inside the quilt, ‘and go

nowhere.’ She kissed me.

‘I am not going anywhere.’ I kissed her back. ‘I have something for you.’

‘I want it if it is a long hug.’

‘That too,’ I said and fished it out of my pocket. ‘This is for you.’

‘What is?’she paused and took the little red box in her hand. She gingerly opened the box

as if she would break it. ‘Oh! This is beautiful, this is so beautiful!’she exclaimed, running

her fingers over the tiny stone studded in a gold ring. ‘Thank you so much, baby! Won’t you

help me wear it?’she asked.

Nervously, I slipped it on her ring finger, not worrying about what she would think I

meant.

‘I didn’t know you had any taste in junk jewellery,’she nudged me.

Junk jewellery? Maybe I should have listened to my friends and not trusted my terrible

taste in jewellery. I kept shut.

‘Deb?’she said as I stared blankly at the ring, which had seemed beautiful to me when I

bought it, but now looked awful. Why? It looked all right before. Even the over-eager

salesgirl had said I had brilliant taste and that my girl would be very happy. Liar, I thought.

Scumbag, I thought.

‘This is real,’ I said. ‘It’s not junk.’

‘Real, as in?’she asked, a little puzzled.

‘This is real gold, and this is a real stone. I got it from a nice place,’ I said, dejected.

‘Even the salesgirl told me that I had made a great choice. Is it that bad?’ It almost never

happens, but I was, like, teary eyed.

‘Don’t tell me. This …’she looked surprised. ‘It is really nice.’

‘You don’t have to lie now. You just said it. Never mind, it is for you. You can get it

changed if you want to,’ I said, trying not to sound low. I added, ‘I have the receipt, and if

you see the salesgirl, smack her for me. That lowlife.’

‘Deb? Are you crying?’she asked. ‘Are you?’

‘Me? No! No, not at all. Why? Why would I cry?’ I asked.

‘Aw! That’s adorable.’ She looked at me like I was a puppy run over by a minivan. ‘I

could tell you the item code of this ring, Deb. I know it’s real. I was just joking! And I,

absolutely, LOVE it!’

‘I positively hate you,’ I grumbled. The useless tear streaked down my cheek, washing

away my masculinity.

‘No, you don’t hate me,’she responded. ‘You wouldn’t have given me this ring. Deb, this

is very expensive.’

‘Money’s never an issue,’ I said, my head held high in mock arrogance.

‘I would just hate to marry a guy with no bank balance!’

‘Marry?’ I asked her. ‘How many times do I have to say it is just lust?’

She snuggled up to me and whispered, ‘For all the macho shit you pull on me, Deb,

you’re like a little child inside. You’re like a soft toy with extra testosterone.’

‘That has to go down in history as the strangest compliment, ever,’ I answered.

‘I know,’she said, closed her eyes and rested her head on my arm. ‘You smell nice.’

She wrapped her arms around me and purred.

5

It was late evening when we woke up amidst the packed suitcases and nowhere to go. I was

hungry, but too lethargic to reach out to the phone and call for food. Avantika’s eyes were

still closed, her lips quivering, half-awake, half-asleep. ‘What do you want to do for the

next three days, baby?’ I asked her.

‘Don’t disturb me, let me finish the dream,’she said and turned away from me.

‘It’s not a dream if you are awake,’ I said and she punched me. I waited for five minutes;

her closed eyes fluttered and her lips curved into a small smile.

‘What was the dream all about?’

‘Nothing much, the usual,’she said.

‘Either you don’t tell me such things or if you do, complete them! Tell me what the dream

was about?’

‘Umm … we were … you know … kind of getting married,’she murmured. I was

pleasantly shocked and infinitely happy that she, too, thought about the idea.

‘So where was the wedding?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Who all were there?’

‘I don’t know,’she said. ‘All I know is that it was a wonderful feeling. You were there.

There was me, and a lot of flowers. There were promises and the vows that we would

always be together. Your parents were there too.’

‘And yours?’

She didn’t answer. It had been a year since she last talked to her parents—conservative

idiots—and they had called her a disgrace since she was overage, unmarried and was

dating somebody. For them, she was a commodity to be married off in a family that would

accentuate their name, and more importantly, their business. She hadn’t seen much of them

since she started working.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, finding nothing to add to her wedding dream. ‘Hey, do you still want to

go to Goa?’

‘Nah, I just realized after two months of office that all I want is to stretch and relax,’she

said.

‘Umm … Aparna Di called when you were asleep. We can go to her place,’ I said,

wanting to cheer her up. ‘It will be a change.’

Aparna was my crazy elder sister who got married a couple of years ago, and she knew

about Avantika and me. There were more than a few reasons for me to believe she was fonder of Avantika. They had met just a couple of times but there was an undeniable mutual

liking between them.

‘She called me, too, in the morning. But I didn’t give it a thought because we were going

to Goa. Yes, we can. That would be nice.’

‘You want to go?’ I asked her.

‘I would love to go. It’s been like ages since I met her. And she has been asking for so

long to meet up,’she said.

‘That is probably because Arnab is out on a tour and she has nothing better to do.’

‘Shut up! She just likes me so much,’she said. ‘And you are just jealous that she likes me

better.’

‘Oh, please! Keep me out of such TV-soap-opera-type feelings!’

She laughed. ‘So when do we leave?’she asked.

‘Let us leave tomorrow.’

‘Check the bus timings?’

‘As you say,’ I said, like a puppy would. ‘The last thing I would do is try to argue with

someone as pretty as you.’

‘Men are not meant to win arguments,’she said.

‘Yes, they are not.’

‘I am so excited to see her,’she said, clutching my hand.

We took the next available bus to Pune, which wasn’t until the next day. Aparna Di had

been living in Pune since she got married and I had not seen her in the longest time. She had

settled into the role of a wife more comfortably than I had imagined; she had been a problem

child for all her life, spoilt and loved and boisterous and outgoing.

‘Why? I have spent eighteen years with her and let me tell you, she is boring.’

‘Did I ask you anything?’she said.

‘By the way, Kabir called when you were loading your baggage. He wanted to know our

plans for the day. I told him we are going to Pune,’ I said.

‘Why didn’t you give me the phone?’

‘You were busy.’

‘Oho!’she said and started tapping her phone. I was miffed at her eagerness to call Kabir

back, the self-satisfied bastard. Luckily enough, the call didn’t connect.

‘You seem to be pissed,’she said and smiled.

‘You know why. I don’t like the guy. He’s just … I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘No, let’s talk about it.’

‘I don’t want to. It is better that we don’t talk about a guy who is probably better than me

in every sense and likes my girlfriend.’

Being with Avantika was a constant battle; the feeling of insecurity never went away. I

was just an average-looking guy with strange hair and a patch of beard on my chin. I didn’t

deserve a second look or a second date. Avantika always told me that she liked my dimple, but people usually missed it. No one, absolutely no one and that includes my mother, found

me cute.

‘He doesn’t like me,’ Avantika said.

‘But he is better, right?’

‘He is not better for me.’

‘But he is better. If you were not with me, he would be your obvious choice. Or someone

like him.’

Why couldn’t she just lie that I was better! I never said Malini had better hair, or wore

better shoes. It wasn’t true, but still I wouldn’t have said it even if it were true.

‘Deb, if I were not with you it would not matter. But I am with you and for me, you are the

best. I would prefer a shoe from a street-side shop than a Jimmy Choo that doesn’t fit me.’

‘Firstly, it’s interesting to know that men are like shoes to you. And secondly, he’s a

Jimmy Choo and I’m a street-side shoe? What’s next? That I’m a pair of slippers and he’s a

pair of stilettos?’

‘You’re taking the analogy too far,’she growled.

‘You started it!’

‘You are making me angry now,’she said, her eyes widening to show it.

‘I’m sorry. I just don’t like the guy. He’s so good at everything he does, and he’s fucking

arrogant about it.’

She held my hand and calmed me down. ‘By the way, how do you know he likes me?’she

asked. ‘Just curious.’

‘I just know. It is evident. I have seen him look at you. He shuffles his feet and sweats and

he’s not his usual bastard self when he’s with you,’ I explained.

‘But he has a girlfriend, Deb. And that is all he talks about.’

‘So what? I can tell by the way he looks at you and drools. I don’t blame him for that,’ I

said.

‘Do you drool at other women too?’

‘I am yet to come across a girl who is half as hot as you are. And I never move around

without you. It is good for my ego to have you by my side. But yes, put Angelina Jolie with

nothing on, that might stir something more than emotions,’ I smirked.

‘Good for you. I think there is an empty seat there. I will go there and from now on you

can think of her and stir whatever you want to,’she said irritably.

‘What? Why are you being angry?’

‘I am not angry. I just want the best for you.’ She smiled and tip-toed her fingers up my

thigh. ‘So who are you thinking about now? Angelina Jolie?’she smirked.

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