David Thunder looked at the squidgy teapot in his hands and felt healthy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his derelict surroundings. He had always loved grand Upper Boggington with its jealous, jittery jungle. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel healthy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Garth Grey. Garth was a hopeful teacher with beautiful lips and ugly moles.

David gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a snotty, daring, tea drinker with red lips and brown moles. His friends saw him as a quirky, quaint queen. Once, he had even rescued a smooth toddler from a burning building.

But not even a snotty person who had once rescued a smooth toddler from a burning building, was prepared for what Garth had in store today.

The rain hammered like chatting bears, making David relaxed.

As David stepped outside and Garth came closer, he could see the shiny glint in his eye.

Garth gazed with the affection of 3045 loving lonely lizards. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Internet access."

David looked back, even more relaxed and still fingering the squidgy teapot. "Garth, d'oh," he replied.

They looked at each other with stable feelings, like two selfish, squealing snakes talking at a very bold engagement party, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two brave uncles partying to the beat.

Suddenly, Garth lunged forward and tried to punch David in the face. Quickly, David grabbed the squidgy teapot and brought it down on Garth's skull.

Garth's beautiful lips trembled and his ugly moles wobbled. He looked healthy, his emotions raw like a helpful, harsh hat.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Garth Grey was dead.

David Thunder went back inside and made himself a nice cup of tea.

THE END

Here is another shot story this is a second page

In a cave there lived a squat, freezing pixie named Doris Superhalk. Not a creepy spotty, ribbed cave, filled with glasses and a sleepy smell, nor yet a hot, creepy, frozen cave with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a pixie-cave, and that means happiness.

One day, after a troubling visit from the fairy Suzanne Smith, Doris leaves her cave and sets out in search of three deprived flamingos. A quest undertaken in the company of giants, people and squat people.

In the search for the fairy-guarded flamingos, Doris Superhalk surprises even herself with her diligence and skill as a homemaker.

During her travels, Doris rescues a teapot, an heirloom belonging to Suzanne. But when Suzanne refuses to try walking, their friendship is over.

However, Suzanne is wounded at the Battle of Hastings and the two reconcile just before Doris engages in some serious walking.

Doris accepts one of the three deprived flamingos and returns home to her cave a very wealthy pixie.

Once upon a time there was a tactless boy called Chad Humble. He was on the way to see his Annabelle Blacksmith, when he decided to take a short cut through Idless Woods.

It wasn't long before Chad got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Piglet, but Piglet was nowhere to be found! Chad began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Piglet. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a mean puppy dressed in a green waistcoat disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Chad.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed puppy. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Chad reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from butternut squashes, a house made from chocolates, a house made from jelly babies and a house made from sweets.

Chad could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Chad looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Chad a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Piglet!

"Piglet!" shouted Chad. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Piglet back!" cried Chad.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Piglet out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, three mean puppies rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Chad recognised the one in the green waistcoat that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Puppy," said the witch.

"Good morning." The puppy noticed Piglet. "Who is this?"

"That's Piglet," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Piglet would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the puppy.

The witch shook her head. "Piglet is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Chad interrupted. "Piglet lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Puppy ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Puppy looked at the house made from sweets and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from sweets if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next puppy. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Piglet."

Chad watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Piglet to Big Puppy. He didn't think Piglet would like living with a mean puppy, away from his house and all his other toys.

The other two puppies watched while Big Puppy put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Puppy. "Just you watch!"

Big Puppy pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Puppy started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of chocolates, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Puppy.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Puppy never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Piglet remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Puppy stepped up, and approached the house made from jelly babies.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Puppy. "Just you watch!"

Average Puppy pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from jelly babies. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Puppy started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a puppy!" said Average Puppy.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Puppy, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the puppy away under his arm.

Average Puppy never finished eating the front door made from jelly babies and Piglet remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Puppy stepped up, and approached the house made from sweets.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Puppy. "Just you watch!"

Little Puppy pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from sweets. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Puppy started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating sweets for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Puppy into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Puppy. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Puppy was never seen again.

Little Puppy never finished eating the front door made from sweets and Piglet remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Piglet."

"Not so fast," said Chad. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from butternut squashes. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the puppies. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Chad.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Piglet back."

Chad ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from butternut squashes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Chad sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Chad. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Chad's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from butternut squashes. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Chad was down to the final piece of the door made from butternut squashes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Chad had eaten the entire front door of the house made from butternut squashes.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Piglet or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Chad hurried over and grabbed Piglet, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Piglet was unharmed.

Chad thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Annabelle. It was starting to get dark.

When Chad got to Annabelle's house, his threw her arms around him.

"I was so worried!" cried Annabelle. "You are very late."

As Chad described his day, he could tell that Annabelle didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Annabelle.

Chad unwrapped a doorknob made from chocolates. "Pudding!" he said.

Annabelle almost fell off her chair.

The End

Tom Pigeon looked at the squidgy ruler in his hands and felt worried.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his cold surroundings. He had always loved picturesque Paris with its impossible, innocent igloos. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel worried.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Kevin Ball. Kevin was a callous doctor with hairy toes and fluffy feet.

Tom gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an admirable, courageous, tea drinker with pink toes and ruddy feet. His friends saw him as a gentle, gifted god. Once, he had even helped an ashamed deaf person cross the road.

But not even an admirable person who had once helped an ashamed deaf person cross the road, was prepared for what Kevin had in store today.

The drizzle rained like singing foxes, making Tom sleepy.

As Tom stepped outside and Kevin came closer, he could see the breakable glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want love," Kevin bellowed, in a giving tone. He slammed his fist against Tom's chest, with the force of 2649 donkeys. "I frigging love you, Tom Pigeon."

Tom looked back, even more sleepy and still fingering the squidgy ruler. "Kevin, I admire your eyebrows," he replied.

They looked at each other with shocked feelings, like two grated, graceful goldfish singing at a very articulate wake, which had R & B music playing in the background and two forgetful uncles laughing to the beat.

Tom regarded Kevin's hairy toes and fluffy feet. He held out his hand. "Let's not fight," he whispered, gently.

"Hmph," pondered Kevin.

"Please?" begged Tom with puppy dog eyes.

Kevin looked angry, his body blushing like a smoked, sour sausage.

Then Kevin came inside for a nice cup of tea.

Here's a Poem

One day at a cake shop,

I met a man selling apples,

For money he wanted to swap,

But I really wanted some dapples.

"Got any dapples?" asked I.

"For that's how I'll spend my money."

"No dapples here!" said the guy.

He seemed to find it quite funny.

"We've got some lovely cakes,

I'll give you a very fine price."

"I'd rather have some sakes."

The man blinked rapidly thrice.

The man seemed exceptionally tall,

And his manner was strangely amused.

He wasn't what I would call overall,

Great disdain he noticeably oozed.

Like others, he thought I was odd,

Some say I'm a bit weak.

Still he gave me a courteous nod,

As if he thought I was plenty chic.

So in search of my goal I departed,

But before the cake shop could I leave,

The man came running full-hearted,

"I can help you I believe."

"Apples, dapples, you shall find.

Cakes, sakes, you can get.

You must now open your mind,

And get down to George St Market.

So to George St Market I decided to go,

In search of the dapples I craved.

The winds it did eerily blow.

But I felt that the day could be saved.

There were stalls selling tights,

Buns in many shades.

There were even stalls selling seitz

People were scattered from many trades

I was greeted by a peculiar lady,

She seemed to be rather weak

I couldn't help thinking she might be quite shady.

I wondered if she was at all chic.

Before I could open my mouth,

She shouted, "For you, I have some dapples!"

I headed towards her, to the south,

Past some cakes and apples.

"But how did you know?" I asked,

"Do you want them or not?" she did say.

Silently, the dapples she passed.

Then vanished before I could pay.

As I walked away I hard a crackle

Or was it, perhaps, a hushed cackle?