Episode begins on exterior shot of the Diaz Household.Marco(v.o.) All right, Star...Cut to interior – kitchen.MarcoFeast your eyes on this!Marco reveals a plateful of hot, cheesy nachos.Star(singing, v.o.) Marco's Super Awesome Nachos!Star claps excitedly and picks up a nacho.Star[gasps] Triangle food!There's a knock at the door. Marco answers. No one's there. Camera pans left as Marco looks around. Camera pans back right, and Marco sees Pony Head.Pony HeadYo, what up, home fries?Marco[screams]Marco falls over, spilling his nachos.Star[gasps] Oh, my gosh!As Star comes outside, she steps on Marco.Marco[groans]StarFlying Princess Pony Head!Pony HeadOh, hello, "B-Fly"!Star hugs Pony Head and giggles.Pony HeadGirl, we're going out tonight! Are you ready to make some ba-a-ad choices?StarLet me just wake up Marco.Marco lies on the ground, motionless and covered in nachos and cheese.Pony HeadOh, that is not a dead person?MarcoNot... dead... [groans]Star picks Marco up.StarPony Head, meet my best friend Marco Diaz.Pony HeadYour best friend?StarHuh? Oh, no-no-no! On Earth! You're my best friend on Mewni. Marco, this is the pony I've been telling you about.Pony Head[snorts] I hate your face. Plus you're ugly. [laughs] Just kidding. That's a joke. Tick-tock, girl. Let's paaartaaay!StarYeah, Marco! Let's paaartaaay!MarcoWith her? Um, okay, well, I was gonna... But I... I was gonna...Star gives a sad puppy-dog pout.MarcoI... Ugh. Alright.Marco picks a nacho off his shirt and eats it.StarMy two besties are gonna be besties!Pony HeadSweet! Let's go!Pony Head reveals a pair of dimensional scissors in her mouth.Star[gasps] Dimensional scissors?! Aah! Jealous!Pony Head cuts open a portal.MarcoWait, we're going to another dimen—StarCome on!Star pulls Marco through the portal.Marco[yelps]Pony Head goes halfway through the portal, looks around suspiciously, and follows Star and Marco. The portal closes. A second portal opens, and three men in masks emerge. The shortest of the three picks glitter off the ground and samples it.Guard of St. OlgaGlitter. She was here.Cut to Star and Pony Head laughing as they fall from the sky. They land on a cloud. Marco falls and lands face-first on the hard floor.Marco[groans] Huh?Camera cuts to several groups of alien creatures around the club and robots DJ-ing.MarcoWhere are we?Camera zooms out to show the entire Bounce Lounge.StarThe Bounce Lounge. My favorite place to chill. Just stay away from the edge.MarcoHuh? [screams]Camera zooms out to show the ground under the clouds – a cap-wearing skeleton is impaled by spikes. Marco flails as he nearly falls over the edge.Marco[yelping]Star pulls him away from the edge and toward a photo booth.StarMarco! Photo booth, photo booth! Come on! [giggles]Star shoves Pony Head and Marco into the booth. She pops up between them in the booth, and they take several photos. In the first photo, the three smile, and captions read "yay", "good times" and "Happy Besties!" In the second photo, Star sticks out her tongue, and captions read "Cheese!", "Get out of TOWN!", and "poot". In the third photo, Star makes a silly face as Marco laughs, and a caption reads "I♡friend♡". In the fourth photo, Star and Pony Head make duckfaces, and captions read "DUCKFACE" and "STYLEZ 4 MILEZ". In the fifth photo, all three make silly faces, and a caption reads "What's up?"StarWhoo! Now... just you two! A souvenir from the night my besties became besties. Yay.Star leaves the booth, and Pony Head glares at Marco.Pony HeadListen. We are not gonna be besties. We are not even gonna be second-besties.The booth takes a photo of Marco and Pony Head smiling, and a caption reads "Super Kawaii".Marco"Second-besties"? That's not even a thing!Pony HeadOhhhh! You wanna make this a thing?The booth takes another photo of Marco and Pony Head smiling, and captions read "LETS ENJOY", "HAY GURL!", and "PARTY LIFE".Pony HeadLook here, Earth Turd. This night is really important to me. You mess that up, and you're gonna get the horn!Pony Head points her unicorn horn at Marco's neck. The booth takes another photo of Marco and Pony Head, and captions read "WE ARE COOL!!" and "#1".Pony HeadGot it?! Good. Real good. Later!Pony Head exits the booth, leaving a frightened and shuddering Marco. The booth takes a photo of Marco's frightened face, and a caption reads "OH NO SHE DINT!" Marco leaves the booth and sees Star and Pony Head on the dance floor.Pony Head[whinnies]Star[laughs]Pony HeadWhoo! Look at this! [whinnies]Marco[whispering] Psst! Star, I need to talk to yooouuu!Star takes Marco by the hands and spins around with him.Star[laughing]MarcoStar, Pony Head threatened to—!Pony Head shoves Marco aside, and he hangs over the edge of the cloud.Marco[screams]SkeletonFall, fall, fall, fall...Marco[whimpering]Star pulls Marco back up.StarMarco, be careful.MarcoPony Head just tried to shove me off this cloud!StarOhhhh, noooo. She just gets a little wild when she dances.Cut to Pony Head dancing with an elf-like teenager. She starts riding him like a horse.Pony HeadOh, yes! Oh, you like that! You know you do! You love it!MarcoWell, she also threatened to skewer me in the photo booth!Pony Head(o.s.) Whoo! Yes!StarYeah... She can be possessive. Pony Head! Let's go to the Amethyst Arcade. Marco will have more fun there.Pony HeadNo! Way! Girl! I'm! Getting! My! Dance! On!The three masked men appear through a portal, and Pony Head sees them.Pony Head[gasps]Pony Head quickly joins Star and Marco and opens a dimensional portal.Pony HeadYes, you are right, Star. He will like the arcade better. Let's go!Pony Head goes through the portal.Star[sing-songy] She's warming up to you.Star pushes Marco through the portal and follows him, plugging her nose as if about to dive into water. Scene transitions; Marco is wide-eyed and drooling.MarcoHoly pixels!Camera zooms out to show the whole Amethyst Arcade.MarcoSo many video games!Pony HeadYes, I knew you would like it here. This place is full of squares.Squares[groaning]StarLook. Lance Lance Revolution. That's perfect! You guys, go play!Marco and Pony Head[growling]A 16-bit fighting game versus screen shows Pony Head and Marco.Game AnnouncerPony Head VS Earth Turd!MarcoHey!Game AnnouncerRound 1! Joust!Marco and Pony Head fight on dance pads using small jousting lances.Marco and Pony Head[grunting]Pony HeadYou're going down, downer!MarcoOh, yeah?! Well, your mother's a horse!Pony HeadUh, okay, and your point would be?Marco and Pony Head[grunting]StarAw, look at you two getting along.Star puts her hands on Marco and Pony Head's backs, covering her hands in sweat.StarEwww. Oh! I'll go get us some nice cold icicles to put on your disgusting sweaty back.A square plays a Whack-a-Mole!-like video game. The three masked men approach from behind.Masked ManHey, you. Square.The shortest masked man holds up a photo.Masked ManHave you seen this head?Square #1[confused grunt]Masked ManDon't lie to me, little man.Pony Head hears the masked man's voice, gasps, and drops her jousting lance. Marco wins the game.Game AnnouncerYou win!MarcoHah! Who's the turd now?Pony Head[flies off-screen] Still you!Square #2Uh, I think I'm next. But with less abusive trash talk, please.Star waits in line at the icicle stand.Square #3Um, let's see. Do I want the pointy one or the pointier one? Oh, it's such a tough choice.Pony Head[flies up to Star] Hey, Star, I'm bored. Uh, I know this other club, so let's bounce. Bleh!Pony Head takes out her dimensional scissors.StarSounds cool. I'll go get Marco.Pony HeadOh, no-no-no-no-no. He went on ahead. Um, yes, he wanted to save us a good spot in the mosh pit. Yes, that is the course of events.StarOh, classic Marco. Always putting friends first.Star jumps through the portal, and Pony Head follows. Cut back to Lance Lance Revolution.Game AnnouncerFinish him! You win!MarcoHah! Did you see that, Star? Try and beat that, Pointy Head! ...Star? Pointy Head?The three masked men surround Marco. One puts his hand on Marco's shoulder, and the shortest one breathes heavily. Cut to an underwater club called the Scum Bucket. Star and Pony Head laugh and crowd-surf.Pony HeadIs this not a blast or what, B-Fly?StarYeah-heah! But I don't see Marco anywhere.Pony HeadPfft! You got me, girl. And I'm way more fun!StarUh, what are you talking about?Pony HeadUh, heh, funny story. You're gonna love it. ...I kinda ditched him and left him in the other dimension. Oops. [chuckling]StarWhat?! [screams, falls to the floor]Pony HeadB-Fly!StarHow could you do that to my best friend?!Pony HeadBest friend?! Last time I checked, the best friend was me!StarI can have two best friends. Unless one of them is a friend-ditching liar.Pony HeadThat Earth Turd means that much to you?StarHe's the best turd I've ever known.Pony Head[sighs] Okay.Cut back to the Amethyst Arcade. Marco is tied to a chair as the masked men shine a lamp in his face and interrogate him.Masked ManFor the last time... where is she?!Marco[crying] I'm telling you! I don't know!Masked ManNot talking, eh? What if I do... this?! [flickers lamp on and off]MarcoStop! That's really annoying!Star and Pony Head emerge from a portal.StarThere he is. [gasps] Crystal Dagger—!Pony HeadWait, B-Fly! It's too dangerous, girl! ...Hold out your hand. Bleh!Star holds out her hand, and Pony Head gives her the dimensional scissors.StarYour dimensional scissors?Pony HeadI won't need 'em where I'm going.StarBut, Pony Head...!The masked men surround Marco menacingly.Pony Head(o.s.) Oh, hey, creeps!The men turn to look at Pony Head.Pony HeadI heard you're looking to ride with a pony!Close up on Pony Head's face.Pony HeadSo come and get me!Masked Men[growls]Pony Head[whinnying and laughing]The masked men chase Pony Head around the arcade.Pony HeadWhoo! Out of the way, squares!SquaresAah!Pony Head crashes through a group of square nerds. They fall to the floor in a Tetris-like sequence.SquaresYay!The masked men crash through the wall of nerds. Cut back to Marco who's trying to free himself from the ropes. He frees one of his arms.MarcoHah!StarStand back, Marco!MarcoNo! It's okay! My hand is free—!StarShiny Emerald Snake Strike!Star turns the ropes into snakes.Marco[spits] Bleh!StarMarco, stop playing around!Star pulls Marco along. The masked men continue to chase Pony Head.Pony Head[whinnying and laughing]Pony Head uses her unicorn horn to blast several arcade machines, making clouds of dust and scaring the square nerds.Pony HeadWhoo-hoo! I feel so alive! Whoa!Pony Head nearly gets caught by the masked men. She blasts hanging stalactites with her magic, and they fall onto the masked men.Masked MenHuh? [screams]Pony Head[laughing]Pony Head slams into a wall and falls to the ground. The masked men approach her. Star and Marco jump in front of Pony Head to protect her.StarBack off, creeps!MarcoDon't worry, Pony Head! We've got your back! ...Of your head.Pony Head smiles and gets ready to fight the masked men alongside Star and Marco.King Pony Head[o.s., echoing] Time to give it up, cupcake.StarIs that... King Pony Head?King Pony Head appears from behind the masked men.King Pony Head[deep whinnying]MarcoUhhhh...Pony HeadHello, Daddy.King Pony HeadHello, princess.Star[whispering] What is he doing here?Pony HeadOh, B-Fly, it's the end of the line for me. But at least I got in one last night of fun with you, girl.StarOne last night? Before what?Pony HeadBefore this! I'm going to St. O's!Star[gasps] Not St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses?!Thunder strikes. Cut to shot of Pony Head being sent to St. Olga's Reform School on a conveyor belt while screaming. Cut back to Star and Pony Head at the Amethyst Arcade.Pony HeadOh, it's true. I did it to myself. I'm headed to the slammer.King Pony HeadIt's reform school, cupcake, not jail. Although admittedly it is a lot like jail.StarOh, Pony Head! You knew you'd get sent to St. Olga's, but you still came back to save Marco.Pony HeadOh, well, you know... It's hard to say it, but he is your other bestie. Okay, I said it.StarOhhhh... Come here!Star hugs Pony Head.Star and Pony HeadHugs!Star pulls Marco into the hug.Masked ManAll right, princess. Time to go.The masked men muzzle Pony Head and drag her away.Star(o.s.) Bye, Pony! I'm gonna miss you!Marco(o.s.) Hey, Pony Head?Pony Head stops to look back at Marco.MarcoGood luck in princess jail.Pony HeadAw. Thanks, Earth Tu— I mean, thank you, Marco. But don't worry about me! No jail can hold on to me for long! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!Pony Head is dragged through the portal.King Pony Head[sighs] Kids... You have 'em, and then you... wish they weren't around.King Pony Head goes through the portal, and it closes behind him.StarYay! My besties are besties!MarcoYeah... I wouldn't go that far. Hey! We're stuck in another dimension!StarOh, no, we're not. Bleh!Star reveals Pony Head's dimensional scissors.MarcoWhoa!StarNow we can go anywhere we want. Anywhere in the entire universe.MarcoI know just the place.Cut to Marco and Star on Marco's couch watching TV and eating nachos.

(theme song)Episode begins on exterior shot of Echo Creek Academy. Cut to interior on Star and Marco. Star tosses her magic wand up and down.Marco DiazI like red, I like hoodies. So I bought a dozen of them.Justin Armberg(o.s.) Hey, it's that magic girl!A large group of students and the school janitor pass by Star and Marco, saying hello to Star.Star ButterflyHi, new friends! Hi! Everyone's so cool here, Marco. It makes me wish my parents had tossed me out of the castle years ago.MarcoOh, you haven't even met the coolest guys.Cut to Alfonzo and Ferguson standing next to some lockers.Marco(o.s.) Alfonzo and Ferguson.Alfonzo DolittleQuick, here she comes!Ferguson lifts up his shirt to reveal a face drawn on his stomach. A girl walks past and looks repulsed. Ferguson moves his stomach to make it look like it's talking.Ferguson O'durgusonHey, hey. Are those books? Where are you going with those books? Do you like to read—The girl slaps Ferguson's face, slaps his stomach's face, and walks away.AlfonzoOh, dear.MarcoThey're usually cooler.StarI need to fix Ferguson up.MarcoNo.Star and Marco hear rolling wheels and look left. Jackie Lynn Thomas does a kickflip on her skateboard and rolls through the halls.Marco[o.s., gasps]Marco has hearts in his eyes.MarcoJackie Lynn Thomas!Jackie skates past Star and Marco.JackieHey, Star Butterfly!StarHi, Jackie! [gasps] I need to fix you up.MarcoWhat?!StarOh, come on. I'm almost as good at matchmaking as I am with magic.Star accidentally blasts Marco's face with magic, leaving him with a burnt face and frizzy hair with a bald spot. One strand of hair is on fire.MarcoI'm good.Scene transitions to the classroom. Star draws on her desk.StarLook-look-look-look-look! It's my name! It's my name! With a star inside a butterfly and two hearts. And a spider.Miss Skullnick slams a test paper on Star's desk, and she looks monstrously annoyed. She hands out test papers to the rest of the class.SkullnickAs you can see, class, most of you have done a pathetic job.StarNot me! I got an "F" for "fantastic"!MarcoThat's an "F" for "fail".StarHuh?MarcoWhat? You don't have tests on Mewni?StarUh... So what grade did you get?Marco[holds up his test paper] Only the best grade you can get: A-plus with a smiley face.StarOoh... I want the best one too!Star walks up to Miss Skullnick. Marco tries to stop her and fails.MarcoWait, don't!Miss Skullnick writes on the chalkboard.Star[o.s., sing-songy] Oh, Miss Skullnick!Miss Skullnick crushes the chalk in her hand and turns to Star with a growl.StarHey, Skullzy! Can you please do me a teeny favor and turn my "F" into an "A"?SkullnickYou're whining about a lousy grade? I finally got a guy with a boat, and he left me at the dock!StarThe dock?SkullnickThe dock isn't the important part!Star nibbles on her wand.SkullnickI guess I'm doomed to dry land.StarI got it! I'll cast a spell to get you the perfect guy, and you can give me the perfect grade.SkullnickWhat?!StarMan Magnet...SkullnickWait!Star...Love Storm!Star transforms Miss Skullnick into a hideous green-skinned troll.Students[gasps]MarcoStar, what did you do?!StarI-I think I turned her into a troll.StudentWha...?JustinStar Butterfly rules!Students[cheering]Skullnick[screams] I'm hideous!MarcoQuick, change her back!StarOh, okay, yeah, right! [laughing nervously] Okay, yeah... Lightning Change Back!Skullnick[screams]Star, Marco, and Miss Skullnick vanish from the room.Students[gasps]Star, Marco, and Miss Skullnick magically reappear in Star's bedroom at the Diaz Household. Skullnick screams and runs up and down the room.StarHuh. Where are we?MarcoYou just zapped us back to the house!StarOhhhh... I wish I knew how I did that. It could really come in handy if I don't feel like using my legs.Skullnick appears close to the camera and screams again. Camera pans left to Buff Frog watching from outside the window.Buff Frog[laughing evilly]Cut to exterior shot of Ludo's castle. Inside, Buff Frog jumps out of a dimensional portal and salutes Ludo.Buff FrogLudo, master. Star Butterfly has come home from school early today and she seems... distracted.Ludo licks an ice cream cone.LudoDistracted? Excellent! This is the moment I've been waiting for.Ludo's ice cream falls off of the cone, and Bearicorn puts it back.LudoNo one's at their best when they're... distracted! [laughing] Finally... [drops his ice cream cone] I'll get my hands on that glorious wand!Ludo imagines holding the wand.Ludo(v.o.) When it transforms, it'll match my hat!The wand magically changes from a purple form with white wings to a skull form with black wings.Ludo(v.o.) And I'll get my big boy body! [laughing]Imagination Ludo suddenly grows into a large, hulking form. He terrorizes Mewni by zapping everything with magic.Ludo(v.o.) Kick down the tower. Zip, zap, zip-zip, zip, zap! And... I'm a lifeguard!Imagination Ludo is suddenly in a hot spring surrounded by buxom beauties. Cut back to Ludo's throne room. Ludo imagines giving CPR.LudoOne, two, three... [blowing]BearicornIs that CPR?LudoSilence! ...Yes. Unfortunately, I was too late.Scene transitions back to Star's bedroom. Miss Skullnick is tied to a chair. Her uncontrollable sobbing makes a large puddle on the floor.StarPlease don't cry, Miss Skullnick.MarcoStar, we can't keep stalling. You're gonna have to call your mom. She'll know how to reverse the spell.Star[gasps] No! I can't ask for help! If my parents find out about this, they're gonna send me to...Thunder strikes. Cut to exterior shot of St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses.Star(v.o.) St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses!Cut to interior; Star is strapped to an operating table with her hair tied back and the words "CUT HERE" and a dotted line drawn on her forehead. A demonic-looking surgeon appears before Star. He has a buzzsaw for a left hand, and his right hands holds a scalpel.Star(v.o.) It's a terrible, horrible place, and no one who goes there ever comes out the same! [screams]Cut back to Star still screaming. After a few seconds, she stops.MarcoIs it all out yet?StarAlmost. [screams] Okay, I'm done.MarcoLook, Star, you just need to get the information without letting her know what's going on. You know, dance around the truth.StarI'm a great dancer!Star dances as she goes up to a curtain. She pulls the curtain back to reveal her interdimensional mirror.StarMirror, mirror on the wall... Call Mom.MirrorCalling Tom.StarW-W-W-W-W—Tom appears on the mirror's surface.TomStar!StarNo. No.TomW-Wait! You're here, I'm here—StarI said "call Mom", not Tom.TomNo! Star! [in demonic voice] DON'T HANG UP!Star presses a button on the mirror, and Tom's image vanishes.StarI really gotta delete him off my mirror.Queen Butterfly appears on the mirror's surface.Queen ButterflyOh, Star, darling, what a pleasant surprise!StarSo, Mom... let's just say that someone accidentally turned someone into a troll with the wand. Not that I would do that, no, because that would be completely irresponsible—There's a loud crash and scream off-screen. Marco dashes across the screen.Queen ButterflyStar, what is going on?!Star quickly closes the curtains.StarGotta go, bye! What happened?!Marco stands next to a large hole in the wall.MarcoShe jumped out the window!Miss Skullnick, still tied to a chair, runs across the house yard. Marco tackles her to the ground. Star lands on top of Marco.StarWow, good job, Marco.Ludo[o.s., mocking] "Wow, good job, Marco."Camera pans left to reveal Ludo and his army of monsters.StarLudo! What are you doing here?LudoCatching you at your most distracted!StarWhat? I have been way more distracted than this.LudoI don't know. You seem... pretty distracted.StarNah, not really.LudoOh, well... What's that over there?!StarWhat?! Where?!LudoGet her!Ludo's army[roaring]Star and Marco[screams]Marco and Star run away. The monsters chase after them, trampling over Miss Skullnick in the process. Ludo climbs up his giraffe minion's neck and jumps onto the back of a flying bat creature. As the monsters approach Star and Marco, Star jumps into the air.StarDagger Crystal Heart Attack!Star fires a volley of hearts from her wand.StarFeel the love!The monsters fly backward with hearts stuck in their bodies. Marco faces down Bearicorn, Big Chicken, and Three-eyed Potato Baby.MarcoI'm obligated to warn you...Marco ties a white band around his head.Marco...I'm a green belt. With a stripe.The monsters fake being scared. Marco picks up a rake and spins it around. He smacks Bearicorn and sweeps Three-eyed Potato Baby's legs and strikes his face with the rake end. Big Chicken attacks Marco from behind and pecks at him continuously.MarcoOw! Hey! Ow, ow! Owww!Marco kicks Big Chicken in the beak and knocks him over. Emmitt appears behind Marco and cracks his knuckles. Buff Frog throws a punch at Star. She dodges and bites Buff Frog's arm.Buff Frog[pained yelling]The crocodile minion snaps its jaws at Star, misses, and smacks her tail with its tail. As Star flies backward, she spins around and strikes a three-eyed minion with her wand, making a large bump on his head. Emmitt puts Marco in a headlock and continuously punches his stomach.MarcoOw! Oww!StarRainbow Blast!Star blasts Emmitt with a rainbow beam. As Miss Skullnick stands up, Emmitt flies into her, knocking them both down.Emmitt[incoherent babbling] Ohhh...SkullnickUhhh...Emmitt and Miss Skullnick look at each other with hearts in their eyes.StarNarwhal Blast! Narwhal Blast! [looks at Emmitt and Miss Skullnick] Awww... Narwhal Blast...Star smiles at Emmitt and Miss Skullnick while blasting Beard Deer without looking.Emmitt[incoherent babbling, chuckling]Emmitt returns to the battle as Marco fights the giraffe minion and Big Chicken in the background.Emmitt[incoherent babbling]Miss Skullnick looks lovestruck. Marco continues fighting the giraffe minion, Buff Frog, and Three-eyed Potato Baby. Star pops in from off-screen.StarHey, Marco, you can handle this for a minute on your own, right?MarcoOh, yeah. No problem.StarCool, thanks!All of Ludo's monsters appear behind Marco.MarcoWait...Marco turns around.Marco[screams]The monsters all pounce upon Marco. Miss Skullnick tries climbing over a fence.Star[sing-songy] Oh, Miss Skullnick!SkullnickWhat?StarSee that monster over there?Emmitt lifts Marco up and tosses him.StarHe thinks you're cute.SkullnickReally? [climbs off the fence] Ooh! What should I do?StarWait right here.Emmitt stands over Marco and is about to draw a sword. As Star enters, Marco crawls away in pain.StarHey there, monster guy. See that troll over there?Emmitt[excited babbling]Emmitt runs up to Miss Skullnick as Star watches. Behind her, Ludo and his army chase Marco.MarcoStar!LudoGet him! Get him!StarHey, guys! I think you forgot something.Star's wand glows yellow. The monsters stop chasing Marco.Ludo's armyHuh?LudoGet the wand!The monsters run up to Star.StarThermonuclear Butterfly Blast!Marco, Ludo, and Ludo's monsters all scream in terror on a seven-way split screen.LudoNot again!A loud explosion covers the yard in rainbow light and butterflies. Screen briefly fades to white. Fade in on Star, looking surprised, surrounded by unconscious monsters and small fires. Ludo falls out of a tree.StarWhoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!Marco is covered in soot and butterflies.Marco[whimpering]Ludo shakes an unconscious Beard Deer.LudoGet up! Get up!StarTold you I wasn't distract— Wait, did I just kill that guy?LudoNo, he's not dead. He's probably just bleeding internally and being a total baby about it!Ludo kicks Beard Deer in the head.LudoStupid wuss...He opens a dimensional portal.LudoGet up, you dipsticks!Ludo's monsters stand up, groaning in pain and covered in bruises, and shuffle toward the portal.Skullnick(o.s.) Ooh, you're so muscly...Marco and Star look back toward Emmitt and Miss Skullnick.MarcoBleh!StarOoh!Skullnick[amorous noises]StarSo... now that I hooked you up, how about that "A"?SkullnickHoney, please! I'd give you an A-plus if I was still a teacher. I'm setting sail with Captain Triceps here. [chuckling]Emmitt[excited babbling]StarWhat about my "A"?!SkullnickTry studying.Marco[imitating a sad trombone] Wah-wahhh.Cut to Echo Creek Academy classroom.StarSo anyway, long story short, Skullnick ran off with this weird man-bull guy thing to another dimension, and now she is gone forever.Camera zooms out to show Miss Skullnick's empty desk.JustinStar Butterfly rules!Students[cheering]Students crowd around Star, shoving Marco aside.JackieWow, Star, that is so rad, girl!StarThanks! But actually...Star pulls Marco into the middle of the crowd and in front of Jackie.Star...It's Marco who deserves all the credit.JackieReally? That's awesome!Marco[blushing, chuckles nervously]Students[cheering, "You're awesome, man!"]Marco and Star smile at each other. There's a bright light and scream off-screen. A dimensional portal opens over Miss Skullnick's desk, and Miss Skullnick falls through, smashing the desk. The portal closes.Students[gasps]MarcoMiss Skullnick?SkullnickHe dumped me. I think. I don't know. I couldn't understand a word he was saying!StarWelcome back, Skullzers.SkullnickGet ready for the worst pop quiz of your lives!Students[groaning]Jackie looks at Marco disapprovingly before walking away.Marco[whimpering]Justin kicks Marco's desk away from his, and Marco sits down.Star[whispering] Sorry, Marco. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of Jackie.Marco[whispering] Are you kidding?! That's the most she's ever talked to me!Star[gasps] Then that means I'm even better at matchmaking than I am with magic!Star accidentally blasts Marco's face with magic, giving his head butterfly wings and antennae. One of his antennae is on fire. The butterfly wings briefly flap. Star tries to blow the fire out.

(theme song)Episode begins at the Diaz Household. In Marco's bedroom, Marco positions his hand over a plank of wood.Marco Diaz[breathes deeply]Star Butterfly[skipping by] La, la-la, la-la, la-laaa. Huh?MarcoHiii-yah!Marco chops the wood in half.StarWhoa. You hate wood, too? Yeah, crush that wood! Wood's the worst! [grunts]MarcoNo, I'm practicing for my upcoming Tang Soo Do tournament.StarOh.MarcoYou see, Star, martial arts is all about honor and discipline. Which is why... I'm going to kick Jeremy Birnbaum's butt!StarJeremy Birnbaum? Isn’t that the talking bear that used to rummage through my parents' garbage?MarcoHe's just this creep in my dojo who's only any good because his rich parents buy him fancy equipment and private lessons. But Saturday, he's gonna get a taste of this!Marco stacks three planks of wood.MarcoHiiiiii-YAH!Smash cut to black.Marco[screams in pain]Fade in on Marco's broken arm in a cast. The cast reads "Get well s♡♡n! Star!" and has several drawings on it.Marco[groans] This is a nightmare! If I can't fight Jeremy, he'll say I wussed out, and he'll never let me live it down!Star uses her magic wand to switch hairstyles.StarPigtails? Ponytail? Pigtails? Ponytail? Pigtails?MarcoWait a minute. You have a wand! You could just fix my hand!Star's last hairstyle is a hodgepodge of pigtails and ponytails.StarYou know... That sort of spell is not really in my comfort zone. Oh, but if you like, I can give you a pretty wicked set of pigtails.Star gives her pigtails again.MarcoPigtails? [groans]Star[gasps] Unless... I could look up a bone-healing spell in the magic instruction book that came with the wand.Star pulls a giant book out from under her bed.MarcoWhat?! This whole time you had a magic instruction book?StarYep. Whenever the previous owner of the wand mastered a spell, they scribbled it down in here.Star opens the book, creating a cloud of dust.Star[coughing] But it's a complete disorganized mess. It's gonna take me foreeeever to find—Oh! Here it is.MarcoReally?StarHmm. It's in an ancient language. Releasio Demonius Infestica!Star shoots a beam of magic that coils around Marco's cast.MarcoAhh... ahhh...! I can feel it working! My fingers are tingling!Marco's arm is turned into a long, blue tentacle. It leaves a slime trail on the floor.Marco[screams]Star[gasps] Don't worry! There must be a spell in here that can change it back!Star flips through the book's pages. Glossaryck briefly appears between two of the pages.StarI can fix it!Marco[whimpering]Marco's monster arm slithers about on its own, knocking the book through Star's window. Scene transitions from night to morning. Marco wakes up in bed.Marco[yawns]The monster arm smacks his face, leaving slime all over him.Marco[groans]In the shower, Marco washes himself with soap. The monster arm slaps the soap out of his hand, smacks his face...MarcoOw!...and turns the shower handle to "Hot". Steam fills the bathroom.Marco[high-pitched screaming]At the breakfast table, Marco's body is burned red. The monster arm slaps the toast out of his hand before he can eat it and knocks over everything on the table. Star enters and sits down.Star[yawns] Morning, Marco. Morning, monster arm. I was up all night, but I haven't found a way to reverse the spell.The monster arm grabs Star's orange juice, pours it on Marco's head, and throws the empty glass away. Cut to Echo Creek Academy – cafeteria. As Marco and Star walk with lunch trays, Marco keeps his tray out of the monster arm's reach.Lars Vanderdud(o.s.) Hey, kid. I got a joke for you.Lars harasses Francis as students watch.LarsWhat's the most important meal of the day?Francis SmithingtonHuh?Lars slaps Francis Smithington lunch tray out of his hands.LarsIt's breakfast! [laughing]Francis[laughing nervously] That's a good one, Lars.Francis leans down to pick up his tray, and Lars shoves his face in pink frosting.Lars[laughing]Marco's monster arm punches Lars across the face.Students[gasps]LarsWho did that?!Marco[pointing to monster arm] Uh...LarsNo one hits La—!The monster arm slaps Lars nine times. He runs away crying. The monster arm picks Francis up and cleans his face.FrancisI, sir, am in your debt.Ferguson pops in and knocks Francis aside.FergusonYou're a hero!Students[cheering]Jackie Lynn ThomasCan I check out that arm?MarcoUhhh... sure.Janna OrdoniaI want it to be my boyfriend!Hope HadleyMe too!JackieHigh five!Marco smiles.Francis[breathing heavily]Cut to Diaz Household at nighttime.Star(v.o.) A-ha! I found it!In Star's bedroom, Star looks through her magic instruction book while Marco plays with his monster arm on Star's bed.StarA reverse tentacle spell! I think.MarcoUh, maybe you should practice on something first.StarWay ahead of you.Star takes out a potted plant.StarReturnio Armius Normalritecus!Star's spell burns the plant to a crisp.Star[shuddering]MarcoUh, I'm going to bed now. [leaves room]StarDon't worry! I'll get it!Star takes out another potted plant.StarReturnius Armius Normalrinny!Star's spell makes the second plant explode.StarUgh...Scene transitions from night to morning. Star's failed attempts include a stump with eyes, a green foot, a multi-layered hand, a foot with six toes, a large rock arm, flowers with toes, and ballooned hands.Star[exhausted] Returnio... Armius... Normalrino...Star's spell makes a normal human hand.Star[gasps]The hand gives a thumbs-up.StarMarco!Star runs out of the room, then comes back to retrieve the hand. Marco does push-ups in his room with the monster arm.Marco673... 674... 675...StarI did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I DID IT!MarcoHey, I think this monster arm might actually help me take out Jeremy. Hiiii-YAH!Marco breaks nine stacked pieces of wood with the monster arm.Marco[breathing heavily]StarWait. You're gonna fight with that? That sounds kind of unfair.Marco[slowly approaching Star] Ohhhh, funny how you never have a problem using your magic when it benefits you, but as soon as it gives me an advantage, you want to take it away!Star[looking scared] Marco, I think that arm's a bad influence on you.MarcoAnd I think you should go.Marco pushes Star out of the room.StarWhat? Fine! But I don't—!Marco slams the door in Star's face.MarcoHuh! Man, what does she know?The monster arm comes alive and sprouts a mouth.Monster ArmDon't listen to her. She's just jealous.MarcoWha...?! You can talk?!Monster ArmYou don't need her anymore. I can give you everything you ever dreamed of.MarcoReally?Monster ArmFirst, we're gonna destroy that little punk Jeremy.MarcoYeah...Monster ArmThen we're gonna get Jackie Lynn Thomas to like you.MarcoYeah!Monster ArmAnd then we're gonna slaughter all humans and feast on their bowels!MarcoYEAH!!! Wait, what?Monster ArmI mean, uh, w-win the tournament!MarcoYeah!Cut to dojo interior. A small crowd sits in the seats.Star[o.s., exhausted] Excuse me.Man(o.s.) Ooh! Watch it!Star[o.s., exhausted] Sorry.Girl(o.s.) Hey! Ow!Star moves through the crowd's top row and sits next to Alfonzo and Ferguson.Star[exhausted] Sorry. Sorry. ...Sorry.Alfonzo DolittleAre you okay, Star?Ferguson O'durgusonYou look terrible, and I have very low standards.Star[yawning] I've been up for two nights trying to fix his monster arm, then he gets mad, and then I got to come here and watch him karate, you know?Sensei BrantleyAllow me to introduce our first competitor, Jeremy Birnbaum!On one side of the dojo, a seemingly tall man in a blue cloak sips water served to him by one butler while another butler massages his shoulders.JeremyHiii-yah!He pushes the butlers away and throws off the cloak, revealing a little boy standing on a footstool.StarThat's Jeremy?!Ferguson(o.s) That kid can't be any more than eight years old!Jeremy[laughing]Cut to Jeremy's parents in the crowd. His father holds up a sign that reads "WE ♡ JEREMY".Mrs. BirnbaumWe love you, son!JeremyShut it, Mom!SenseiAnd his opponent, Marco Diaz.Camera dramatically zooms in on Marco on the other side of the dojo. His body is half obscured by shadow.Audience[gasps]Mr. BirnbaumNow that's an appendage.JeremyHey, wait! He's got a monster arm! That's not fair!SenseiYeah! Pretty cool, right?Marco's monster arm lashes around Jeremy's neck and tosses him around the dojo.Jeremy[grunting and screaming]Audience[gasps]SenseiHey-oh!Jeremy knocks into a trophy shelf and through the ceiling.JeremyWhoa!Jeremy lands on the floor covered in bruises.Jeremy[groans]SenseiPoint, Diaz.MarcoWhere are your private lessons now, Jeremy? Huh?The monster arm picks up Jeremy's body.Monster Arm[laughing] He's beaten. Now finish him!MarcoWhat?Monster ArmThis is what you've always wanted. Destroy him! Eat his bowels!JeremyNot my bowels! I love my bowels!MarcoHey, listen, I just wanted to win the tournament so he wouldn't make fun of me!Monster ArmIf you're too weak to finish him, I'll do it myself!The monster arm tears Jeremy's shirt, revealing his stomach.Jeremy[screams]MarcoStar was right about you...! You are a bad influence!Monster ArmAnd you are pathetic.The monster arm throws Jeremy into a punching bag. The punching bag swings backward and hits Jeremy's face.SenseiPoint, Diaz.Monster Arm[roaring]The monster arm attacks Marco, attempting to devour him.MarcoStar?! You can change it back now!Alfonzo and FergusonStar! [gasps]Star sleeps with her head on a man's shoulder. Ferguson tries to shake her awake.FergusonStar, you gotta wake up!MarcoStar!The monster arm repeatedly hits Marco against the ceiling.FergusonStaaaaar!!!The monster arm uses Marco's arm to slap his own face.Monster ArmStop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.FergusonHey! Wake! Up!AlfonzoHere, try this.Alfonzo hands Ferguson a beverage.FergusonOh, thank you so much. [slurps]AlfonzoNo! On Star!FergusonOh, right.Ferguson splashes Star with water, and she wakes up spitting out the water.MarcoStar!The monster arm coils around Marco's neck, choking him.Star[gasps] Returnio Armius Normalrino!Star blasts the monster arm with magic. The monster arm dodges, and the beam turns a punching bag into an arm.StarReturnio Armius Normalrino!The monster arm dodges again, and Star's magic turns a dumbbell into an arm. A third blast turns a towel into an arm. A fourth blast creates a pair of arms next to Sensei that pound together. Sensei bows to the arms in return.SenseiHai.The monster arm keeps dodging Star's magic, making arms all over the dojo.AlfonzoWhoa!The monster arm hangs from the ceiling and swings gently back and forth.Monster Arm[laughing] I could do this all day.StarUgh! He's too wiggly!Marco looks down and sees all the arms Star made with her magic. He pushes himself and the monster arm off the ceiling, and the arms catch them as they fall. The arms hold the monster arm.Monster Arm[groaning]MarcoNow!StarReturnio Armius Normalrinooooo!Star's magic finally hits the monster arm, and it begins to shrink back to normal.Monster ArmYou'll never get rid of me! I'm part of you now! [slowly fading and getting high-pitched] You can treat the symptoms, but you'll never cure the viruuuus...!Marco's arm returns to normal.Marco[groans]StarMarco, are you okay?Marco[looks at his arm, gasps] My arm! My beautiful arm. It's back to normal.Marco's fingers suddenly crack and snap out of place.Marco[groans] And totally broken.JeremyBroken arm? Hah! Well, it looks like I win.A set of golden brass knuckles falls out of one of Jeremy's gloves and clangs on the floor. One of the animated arms picks it up and holds it in front of Sensei's face.SenseiBrass knuckles? Seriously?JeremyPfft! Brass? They're gold.SenseiYou boys have brought shame and dishonor to this great and noble sport. 'Tis a sad day for strip mall dojos everywhere.Jeremy briefly looks at Marco before angrily kicking over some arms and walking away.Mrs. Birnbaum[clapping] Oh-ho, bravo, son! Bravo!Jeremy[growls] I wish I could fight you, Mom.Mrs. Birnbaum[whimpers]FergusonWhat a turd.Marco[sighs] Sorry. I should've listened to you, Star.StarI know.MarcoHey, uh, when the monster arm said he'd be back, that's nothing to worry about, right?StarUhhh... probably not?Close-up on Marco's extremely worried face. Camera pans down to his broken arm. Cut to black.