[The episode opens to show an episode of Pretty Pretty Pegasus, Raven's favorite program. Butterbean and Sparkleface are imprisoned in a purple-pink dungeon with blue bars.]

Butterbean: It's no use, Sparkleface! We'll be trapped in this candy dungeon FOREVER!

Raven: Don't give up, Butterbean. [Beast Boy laughs.] Great. Right in the middle of the best part of Pretty Pretty Pegasus!

Robin: [Pointing to himself.] And so, [Kicks.] I kicked another dirt monster into a furnace, and then I was all, [Points at ground.] "I bet that really burns you up."

Cyborg: [Follows Robin to the living room, laughing.] Like a metaphor. Boo-yah!

Beast Boy: [Laughing as he sits down.] That's too much, dude.

Robin: [Chewing, mouth full.] He didn't hear me though, [Smacks lips.] he was on fire. [Bites sandwich.]

Raven: [As crumbs from Robin and Cyborg's sandwich fall on her head.] Ugh. Seriously? You guys eat like animals.

Beast Boy: [As a pig eating the sandwich noisily and messily.] Uh ... uh ... so good. [Raven stares at Beast Boy.] What, Raven?

Raven: Well, I guess you get a pass, but [Looks up at Robin and Cyborg.] you two are disgusting.

Cyborg: Sorry, it's just Robin makes the best sandwiches.

Robin: It's true. I've developed a sandwich design that will take your mouth on a flavored journey.

Beast Boy: [Transforming back into his human self.] A flavored journey worth a journey of its own!

Cyborg: Oh, yeah. I'd crawl over a hundred miles of broken glass for this sandwich!

Beast Boy: I'd drive across the country in a car that smelled like Cyborg's BO for this sandwich! [Laughs.]

Cyborg: Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me away from this sandwich!

Beast Boy: Well, yeah! I'd do some ... uh ... incredibly difficult stuff for that sandwich ... actually!

Raven: So, you're saying you'd leave the tower if I told you where to find a good sandwich?

Robin: Sure, but it would have to be a legendary sandwich, like mine!

Raven: [Floats off the couch.] There is an ancient sandwich of power, hidden away from those who'd would use its power for evil.

Robin: Ha, okay, first of all that's dumb and you made it up. Second, even if it is true, my sandwiches are the best! Period.

Raven: Oh, but it is true. Behold![A book, Ancient Legends appears, and falls in her arms. Starfire enters with Silkie in her arms.]

Starfire: Oh, is it story time?

Raven: [Voice-over.] In an age long forgotten, an old king summoned his Sandwich Wizard. The king commanded him to create a sandwich of power. The Sandwich Wizard labored in his tower for six days. On the seventh, he brought the sandwich before the king and it was glorious. It would grant him eternal life so he could rule his kingdom forever. It was also delicious.[Robin, Starfire holding Silkie, Beast Boy, and Cyborg are gathered around the couch and awe in delight.]

Beast Boy: Delicious?

Raven: [Voice-over.] One night, the prince betrayed the king and tried to steal the sandwich. The old king was heartbroken. He realized the sandwich was too powerful. It had to be destroyed. So, the ingredients were hidden on the far corners of the world, watched by the fierce Sandwich Guardians. Legend says [Closes book.] it can be reforged if all the ingredients are brought together.

Cyborg: We gots to get that sandwich.

Beast Boy: Oh, man! I wanna eat it twice.

Starfire: The sandwich would look beautiful in my hair.

Robin: No way can it top my sandwich science. What're we waiting for? Titans, GO![Robin leads Cyborg, Starfire who is holding Silkie, and Beast Boy into the elevator which closes upon their entry. Raven floats backs to the couch.]

Raven: Finally.[Raven turns on laptop to resume her show.]

Sparkleface: We have to get the candy keys from Gumdrop Goblin or we'll never make it to Princess Puffballs' birthday party!

Robin: Hey, Raven.

Raven: [Shuts laptop.] Uh, I thought you were making a sandwich.

Robin: We have no idea where to look.

Raven: There are four ingredients. [Summons her book and opens it to show the locations.] The mystical bacon is here, on the Lava Lake.

Cyborg: I got the heat resistance, baby. [Summons twirling fan.] I'm on it! [Exits.]

Raven: The next ingredient is the king's lettuce, buried deep underground.

Beast Boy: I can dig it. [Turns into mole and digs through the floor.]

Raven: The next ingredient is the stellar tomato, hidden among the stars.

Starfire: I shall retrieve the tomato. [Flies through the ceiling.]

Robin: Okay, let's do this. I assume you left the most dangerous ingredient for the leader of the Titans.

Raven: Oh, yes. The last ingredient is pretzel bread. It can be found ... at the supermarket. Here's a coupon.[Robin sulks to the elevator for his mission. Upon his exit, Raven summons the control panel and programs the TV to play all Pretty Pretty Pegasus marathons.]

Sparkleface: With the candy keys, we'll be able to make Princess Puffballs' birthday where all dreams come true.

Raven: You rock, Butterbean.

Cyborg: [Arrives at Lava Lake.] Let's see, according to that ancient map, it should be right around here. Boo-yah! [Flies into the Lava Lake and looks around until spotting a rock which he blasts, revealing a chest.] Too easy, baby. [A Sandwich Guardian looms over Cyborg.] Whoa, Sandwich Guardian! [Cyborg braces himself and is punched away.]

Beast Boy: [Burrowing underground.] Uh, huh. I'm digging, digging like a pro yo. Digging, dig-[Sniffs.] Oh, yeah! Lettuce! I'm so close I can smell it [Burrows into a cavern and turns into cat to break fall and then to human self. Runs to chest.] Awesome! [A Sandwich Guardian looms over Beast Boy.] Ah! Sandwich Guardian dude! [Crushed by a fist.]

Starfire: [Flies to a planet and scans for the chest. Spots it underneath green vines.] This must be the containment vessel for the tomato. [Starfire blasts the vines away.] How did anyone manage to transport this Earth fruit to the Lilap system? [Guardian grabs Starfire.] Ah! This is an excessive use of force\, sir. [Sandwich Guardian throws Starfire who becomes dazed by the impact. She shakes it away as the guardian looms over her.][At the supermarket\, Robin pushes a shopping cart with an uneven wheel. He struggles to move it and applies an unnecessary amount of force to move it. He crashes into a Bat-O's display stand and over an old man until crashing into an aisle. He switches to a basket and walks to the deli section.]

Robin: [Addressing the employee.] I need some pretzel bread. The freshest you got. Make it quick. This place is really bumming me out. [The employee gestures at the ticket dispenser. Robin takes number 78 as the now serving screen turns to 23.] Aw.

Cyborg: [Aiming a laser at the Sandwich Guardian.] You're gonna need a fresh drink of water with this hot sauce, baby! [Fires and hits the robot three times. The Guardian grabs a rock and throws it at Cyborg, crushing him against a boulder. Cyborg blasts the rock to free himself.] Oh, it's on now. [Activates jetpack.] Give me that bacon![The Sandwich Guardian lifts his fist and is confused to see nothing there. Beast Boy, as a mouse, climbs on his arm, shocking him.]

Beast Boy: [As a mouse.] Looks\, you're pretty angry\, huh? [Sandwich Guardian shakes Beast Boy off who transforms into a hummingbird to steady himself.] Hey! Be cool\, man! [Dodges swats until trapped by the robot's hands which begins to shake until Beast Boy's gorilla form frees itself.] Okay\, dude. Let's talk about this face to fist! [Punches Sandwich Guardian.][Starfire charges her hands and fires at the guardian. The Sandwich Guardian summons a sword and swings at the Titans who dodges each swing.]

Starfire: I am thinking perhaps this is too much trouble for a tomato![Starfire fires at the Sandwich Guardian and disarms it. At the supermarket, the now serving counter turns to 32.]

Robin: [Talking to citizen.] I mean\, sure\, some people prefer swords or like lasers\, but I like to use this staff. [Begins wielding his staff\, terrifying the citizen.] See? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Right on the head! The knee! Crack! Clavicle! Whatever! It gets the job done. [The citizen backs away slowly.][Cyborg charges at the Sandwich Guardian. He crashes into the Sandwich Guardian's fist who grabs hold of him\, rips his arm off\, and throws him aside.]

Cyborg: My arm![The Sandwich Guardian grabs the sword and slices at Starfire which ends with a huge portion of her hair cut off. It flies onto the planet and is engulfed in flames.]

Starfire: My hair![Beast Boy dodges a stomp and bites the Sandwich Guardian's leg as an alligator, breaking his teeth. He transforms back into a human.]

Beast Boy: My teeth![Robin stares at his ticket, rides a shopping cart across the store, and hits his head on the wall as the now serving counter slowly increases. Beast Boy as a bunny dodges the Sandwich Guardian's stomps and jumps over him. He transforms into a squid and sprays ink on the robot's face. Starfire, angry, fires green starbolts from her hands rapidly as the Sandwich Guardian flinches with every impact. Cyborg fires sonic blasts from his arm which hurts his Sandwich Guardian. Robin reads a magazine, picks his ear, and lays on the ground. Starfire punches the Sandwich Guardian's head with a starbolt, blowing it up. Beast Boy dodges attacks as a hummingbird, and turns into a whale, crushing the Sandwich Guardian. Transforming back into a human, he kicks the robot's head in victory. Cyborg summons missile launchers from his shoulders and uses the weapons to blow up the Sandwich Guardian, leaving only a leg. Robin begins to fall asleep at the supermarket when the counter reaches 78 prompting him to happily hold his ticket as delis behind him yell yay.]

Beast Boy: [Open chest and takes out the lettuce.] Yes!

Cyborg: [Opens chest and takes out the bacon.] Yes!

Starfire: [Opens chest and take out the tomato.] Yes!

Robin: [Reaches into bag and holds out the pretzel bread.] Whatever.

Raven: [Holding Butterbean doll.] Oh, look, Sparkleface, it's Licorice Forest. [Holding Sparkleface doll.] Isn't that place filled with trolls? [Holding both on the couch.] Don't be silly, Sparkleface, it's the home of our new friend, Princess Silkiesoft. Nice to meet you, Princess Silkiesoft. Your hair sure is-- [Silkie eats the Sparkleface doll.] Bad Silkie. [Reaches into Silkie's mouth and takes out the doll when the elevator dings, shocking her. She throws Silkie aside and uses her magic to hide any evidence of Pretty Pretty Pegasus as Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy walk in.] You're back already?

Beast Boy: Dude, those Sandwich Guardians were way tougher than we thought.

Cyborg: Yeah, no kidding, but look.[Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy show Raven their retrieved ingredients, respectively.]

Raven: You mean the legend's actually true?

Cyborg: This sandwich better be worth it. You know how long it's gonna take to build a new hand with one hand?

Robin: [Enters.] Wow. The supermarket was brutal! I barely made it out of there alive. Hey, Starfire, I like what you did with your hair. [Notices the Titans annoyed faces.] What?[Raven is using magic to hold three candles in the air. On the floor, on top of a circular dais, the four ingredients are laid in intervals as Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire stare at it.]

Raven: Now I will speak the ancient legendary sandwich words of power. [Opens book.] Choroismo rula tomato pasomi! [The dais glows golden and the ingredients are lifted into the air. The pretzel bread opens and stacks the lettuce, tomato, and bacon before closing and flashing a bright light which reverts the setting to the kitchen. Lowers the sandwich onto the ground.] The key to immortality and a delicious lunch.

Robin: Eh, my sandwiches still look better. Well, as team leader and sandwich expert, I should get the first bite.

Cyborg: [Mumbles incoherently.] Hold on now! I lost an arm for this sandwich! I should get first dibs!

Starfire: But I lost my hair. Surely that is more important than a hand. I should get the first of bites.

Beast Boy: Dudes, I should get the first bite. I got the worst of it! [Holds mouth down to show broken teeth.] Look at this!

Cyborg: How you gonna eat with no teeth? You gonna gum the sandwich down?[The Titans argue over one another until spotting Silkie, now free of his costume, crawling toward the sandwich. He opens his mouth and begins to eat it in one bite as the Titans watch in horror.]

Robin: Silkie, stop!

Starfire: Mama's little bumgorf, no!

Beast Boy: [Wailing.] That's not for you![Silkie finishes eating the sandwich and begins to float in the air, a crown hovering over his head. An orange background with clouds and a castle on top of one looms in the background as voice chant. The Titans watch as Silkie vomits out the sandwich. He lands and crawls away as Beast Boy covers his head in sorrow.]

Robin: [To Raven.] I told you that sandwich wasn't great. [To the others.] So, anyone wanna watch Pretty Pretty Pegasus?

[Raven smiles in delight as Beast Boy and Cyborg growl at Robin in annoyance]

Episode ends.

Interior. Titans Tower.

Beast Boy is sitting in front of the couch, drawing on a piece of paper. Raven levitates into view behind the couch, and takes a quick glance at the paper. She stops.

Raven:

What is that?

Beast Boy:

A birthday gift for Cyborg.

Beast Boy shows Raven a picture which depicts a Beast Boy-like robot riding a Cyborg-like dog with flames erupting behind them in a purple background.

Beast Boy:

[Pointing to the dog.] I'm drawing him as a dog, [Pointing at the robot.] and me as a robot.

Raven:

Okay, and you think he's gonna like it?

Beast Boy:

[Puts picture in pocket.] As his best friend in the whole world, [Cyborg enters, walking behind the couch.] I always know exactly what he wants.

Cyborg:

Hey, beast bud, you hungry? [Walks out of view.]

Beast Boy:

[Whispering.] Watch this.

Beast Boy leaps over Raven, knocking her to the ground as the camera switches to the kitchen. Beast Boy lands behind Cyborg, who is staring at an open refrigerator.

Cyborg:

Y'know, I kinda feel like having -

Beast Boy:

Pie perhaps?

Cyborg:

[Gasps.] How'd you know?

Beast Boy:

It's my job to know! And 'cause I love pie too!

Cyborg:

♪ When I say, "I want", you say, "pie!" I want - ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ Pie! ♪

Cyborg:

♪ I want - ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ Pie! When I say, "yummy", you say, "pie!" Yummy - ♪

Cyborg:

♪ Pie! ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ Yummy - ♪

Cyborg:

♪ Pie! ♪

Beast Boy and Cyborg:

♪ Apple, rhubarb, peach or pear. Any kind, we don't care. ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ I love pie! ♪

Cyborg:

♪ Yeah, I love pie! ♪

Beast Boy and Cyborg:

♪ Oh we l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love love pie! ♪ [Laugh.]

Beast Boy:

Yeah, dude. Warm pie!

Cyborg:

I need a slice! [Walks away.]

Beast Boy:

[To Raven.] Yup. He's gonna love my gift.

Interior. Mother Mae-Eye's Pies.

The Titans are sitting at a booth. Mother Mae-Eye passes the Titans while carrying a pie and humming an eerie tune.

Cyborg:

Time to get our pie on!

Robin:

[Looks at Cyborg and Beast Boy.] You guys really like pie.

Beast Boy:

Who doesn't? [Turns to Raven.] Ooh, whatcha got there? [He slowly moves his finger down towards the pie while Raven watches with her normal expression. He then sticks his finger in the pie, takes out a tiny piece, and puts it in his mouth.] Oh, wow, blueberry. [Licks his finger.]

Raven:

[Disgusted.] Ugh, gross!

Beast Boy:

[Wipes his hand on Raven's clothes.] Relax, I just washed my hands.

Raven:

And, I've lost my appetite. [Uses soul-self to throw her pie away.]

Starfire:

The Mother Mae-Eye makes the best pies in all of Jump City!

Mother Mae-Eye holds up pie.

Robin:

I wonder what her secret is.

Raven:

I hear she bakes [Eyes widen.] people into her pies.

The Titans burst into laughter.

Robin:

Someone's been reading too many fairy tales!

Starfire:

No, I suspect the secret ingredient is love.

Behind Starfire, Mother Mae-Eye hypnotizes a man sitting in a booth behind the Titans and leads him away.

Cyborg:

It's time we talked about something really important. [Arrows pop out of him and point to him.] This guy's birthday!

Starfire:

Oh, yes! I have decided to plan Cyborg's day of birth festivities myself.

Robin:

[Puts his hand on Starfire's.] No offense, Starfire, but maybe someone else should plan this party.

Starfire:

Oh, please allow me. [Squeezes Robin's hand, and he flinches in pain.] I promise I will learn all of the proper Earth customs.

Cyborg:

Well, the party can be lame, [Turns to Beast Boy with an excited expression.] as long as the presents aren't!

Beast Boy:

And you best believe I know exactly what my best friend wants!

Cyborg:

I bet it's not that new video game that a certain cybernatic organism has been dropping hints about! [A thought bubble with the video game appears.]

Beast Boy:

[Eyes widen as he thinks about his drawing for Cyborg.] Video game? [Thought bubble shatters.] Uh, it's totally the new game! The really expensive one! The one you should know I can never afford. Yep, that's what I got you.

Cyborg:

And that's why you're my best friend!

Beast Boy frowns.

Exterior. Game Bear.

Beast Boy stares at the game Cyborg wants as it stands in the display case. He pulls out his pockets to see that they're empty. He transforms into a kangaroo and checks his pouch, which is empty as well. He transforms back into a human, and tears form in his eyes as he has flashbacks of him and Cyborg hanging together. The flashbacks include them having a burping contest and beating up a criminal that they've captured. After the flashbacks, Beast Boy whimpers as Cyborg's head appears on the body of the video game's main character.

Cyborg:

[As a hallucination.] And that's why you're my best friend!

Beast Boy:

But I can't afford the game.

Cyborg:

[Still as a hallucination, glares at Beast Boy.] Then get a job, you bum.

Beast Boy:

[Smiles.] I will get a job! For you, Cyborg Window Hallucination.

The Cyborg hallucination smiles back.

Interior. Chemical Bear.

Beast Boy:

[Working in a lab, putting chemicals together in a flask. The liquid begins to bubble up.] Oh, wow, bubbles. [He chuckles just as the liquid explodes, sending him out the window.]

Exterior. Chemical Bear.

Beast Boy takes out a list of his dream jobs and crosses out the word "chemist".

Interior. Court.

Beast Boy:

And that, ladies and gentleman of the jury, is why he is guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt! [A man whispers into his ear.] What? I'm supposed to be defending him? [He points to someone off-camera, and the man nods. Beast Boy chuckles nervously as the gavel hits the sounding block.]

Jump City.

The man that he was supposed to defend glares at him as he is put into a jail truck. Beast Boy crosses "lawyer" off his list.

Interior. Hospital.

Beast Boy:

[Performs surgery on a man, and he pulls back as he stares at something.] Oh, gross, gross, gross! What's that squiggly thing?! You mean, that's what's inside people? [He faints and is thrown out.]

Exterior. Hospital.

Beast Boy glares at the building as he crosses "surgeon" off his list.

Interior. Mother Mae-Eye's Pies.

Starfire:

After much research, I have decided to hold the festivities for Cyborg here.

Raven:

[Surprised.] That's actually a good choice.

Starfire:

Ooh! I've also made these for the party. [Takes out balloons with small live animals inside them.]

Raven:

Ah, balloon animals?

Starfire:

Correct. [She lets go of the balloons, and they fly into the air.] And, there will be a game called "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"! [Takes out a giant pin, Raven flinching from it.] Do you think this spike will be sufficient for tail-pinning?

Raven:

[Smirks.] Uh, yeah. That's about right.

An actual living donkey shivers and brays nervously.

Robin:

[Notices Beast Boy's sad expression.] Hey, you okay, Beast Boy?

Beast Boy:

Aw man, it's just ... I can't afford the present that Cyborg really wants.

Robin:

Friends don't care about how much money you spend. Just that you put some thought into it.

Cyborg:

[Walks in.] What up, Titans? [Jumps into the booth.]

Robin:

Which reminds me. [To Cyborg.] Hey, Cyborg! I thought I'd give you your birthday gift a little early! [Gives him his soda.]

Cyborg:

[Looks down at the soda with an unsatisfied look.] Your gift to me is a half-drunk soda?

Robin:

What? It's not expensive enough for you, fancy pants? [Crosses arms and looks away.] You know, I'd like to think it's the thought that counts. [Whispers to Beast Boy.] We cheapos need to stick together.

Behind them, Mother Mae Eye hypnotizes a man cleaning a table and leads him into the kitchen, humming her semi-eerie song. She then puts up a card that reads "Help Wanted" on the counter. Beast Boy notices this and stands on the counter, wearing a uniform. Mother Mae Eye hands him a shovel and walks away, and he scoops up the unfinished pies. In the kitchen, he transforms into an octopus and flattens three pieces of dough with rolling pins at once. Then, he transforms into a dog and licks the dishes clean. After that, he goes to the bathroom, and, upon looking into a bathroom stall, empties out his cleaning bucket and vomits into it. Back at the front, he cleans the counter, just as Cyborg walks in and sees Beast Boy.

Cyborg:

[Laughs.] Nice hat! Whew! Comedy gold!

Beast Boy:

Just trying to make a few extra bucks for something important.

Cyborg:

Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough! [Pushes a springy pie on top of Beast Boy's hat and laughs.] Oh! Oh my goodness! Whew! [Beast Boy looks at Cyborg with a bored look as he continues laughing for a several more seconds.] Anyway, I'm just making sure my best friend is gonna be at my party. [Points at Beast Boy's outfit.] Not dressed like that, of course.

Beast Boy:

About that ... [Rubs the back of his head.] Uh ... I have to work Friday.

Cyborg:

What?! It's my birthday!

Beast Boy:

If I don't work, I can't - I mean, you won't have - Look, I just - I can't be there.

Cyborg:

You are making less sense than usual.

Beast Boy:

What I'm trying to say ... is that I'll be there, but ... I'll be working.

Cyborg:

Oh. I see. So, basically, making a few extra bucks is more important than your pal. [Beast Boy shrugs sadly, and Cyborg begins to tear up.] Well, do not take my quivering lip as a sign of profound disappointment. [Runs out of the store.]

Beast Boy looks down in guilt and looks at the drawing he made. A tear slips out of his eye and falls onto his drawn face, making it look like it's crying as well. On Friday, the pie shop is set up for Cyborg's birthday party, the balloon animals set up everywhere. Cyborg, Raven, and Robin are sitting at a booth while Starfire flies around top, playing a literal game of Duck Duck Goose with them.

Starfire:

[Puts a live duck in front of Cyborg.] Duck [Puts a live duck on top of Raven.] Duck [Puts a live goose on top of Robin.] Goose!

Robin screams as the goose chases him.

Starfire:

[To Raven.] Did I get that right?

Raven:

That's how I play. [Zaps the duck away.]

Cyborg:

[Clinks his glass of juice.] I just wanted to thank you all for coming. And, you know, [Glares at Beast Boy.] taking time off from your jobs.

Beast Boy looks down sadly as he continues cleaning the counter.'

Cyborg:

[Purposely drops his glass of juice, and it shatters and spills.] Oops! Speaking of jobs, guess someone is gonna have to pick that up!

Beast Boy, annoyed, goes over to clean up the mess.

Cyborg:

[Shoves a pie down onto the floor.] Man! I am so clumsy today! [Shoves down another pie and shouts into Beast Boy's ear.] Oh, cleaning crew! [Pulls away.] I guess my so-called best friend will have to come over and -

Beast Boy:

[Throws pie at Cyborg's face.] How dumb can you be?! I'm only working here so I can buy you an expensive present!

Cyborg:

[Throws pie at Beast Boy.] I never told you to get a stupid job!

Beast Boy:

[Throws pie at Cyborg.] Well, my hallucination of you in the store window did!! [Throws pie at Cyborg again as tears form in his eyes.] And the real you made fun of my pie suit. [Throws another pie at Cyborg.]

Cyborg wipes the pie off his face and glares at Beast Boy. He activates his gun and shoots multiple pies at Beast Boy, who retreats behind the counter and avoids them all. He transforms into a hippo and roars. Cyborg continues throwing pies, and they all land in Beast Boy's mouth. He throws them back out at Cyborg, who dodges them. Some of the pie gets into Robin, Starfire, and Raven's faces.

Robin:

[To Starfire and Raven.] Think we should stop them?

Raven:

Nah. This is the first time I've actually enjoyed a birthday party.

Starfire:

Oh, wonderful! Then the celebration is a great success!

As Cyborg and Beast Boy continue throwing pies at each other, Mother Mae-Eye walks up to the other Titans, humming her eerie song.

Raven:

Um, I don't think we need anymore pies, Granny.

Mother Mae-Eye opens her yellow eyes and smiles, revealing pointy teeth. An eye on her opens, hypnotizing the three Titans. Meanwhile, Cyborg jumps behind a table and uses it to block the incoming pies from hitting him. He then uses his guns and shoot pies at Beast Boy, who avoids them all. The hypnotized Titans follow Mother Mae-Eye into the kitchen while Beast Boy throws pie at Cyborg, jumps down from the counter, and jumps away. Cyborg rolls towards him and shoots more pies at him. Beast Boy transforms into an octopus and catches them all, and he throws them back at Cyborg, who uses a propeller shield to slice them, creating an imprint of his body behind him. In the kitchen, the hypnotized Titans are dropped from a claw and put into a hole in a machine. Mother Mae-Eye laughs evilly and walks away.

Beast Boy:

[To Cyborg.] Since you love gifts so much, [Takes out his drawing.] here's what I was gonna give you, [Sticks drawing in pie.] when I still liked you! [Throws the pie in Cyborg's face.]

Cyborg:

[Removes drawing from his face and looks at it, speaking angrily.] This is what you got me?! I love it! It's well drawn and thoughtful! Thank you! [Takes pie and smashes it on Beast Boy's head.]

Beast Boy:

I knew you'd like it! [He takes pie and throws it at Cyborg's chest, then his eyes widen and he licks the pie off his face. He looks at Cyborg.] Face pie?

Cyborg:

[Licks the pie off his face as well.] Ah, the best kind. [Smirks.] Huh, pie bro. ♪ When I say, "I want", you say, "pie!" I want - ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ Pie! ♪

Cyborg:

♪ I want - ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ Pie! When I say, "yummy", you say, "pie!" Yummy - ♪

Cyborg:

♪ Pie! ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ Yummy - ♪

Cyborg:

♪ Pie! ♪

Beast Boy and Cyborg:

♪ Apple, rhubarb, peach or pear. Any kid, we don't care. ♪

Beast Boy:

♪ I love pie! ♪

Cyborg:

♪ Yeah, I love pie! ♪

Beast Boy and Cyborg:

♪ Oh we l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love love pie! ♪ [Fall to the floor, laying on their backs and laugh.]

Beast Boy:

Oh man, my pie, bro!

Cyborg:

[Puts arm around Beast Boy.] Oh, why were we ever fighting?

Beast Boy:

[Hugs Cyborg.] I love pie.

Cyborg:

[Hugs Beast Boy back.] I love you and pie.

Beast Boy and Cyborg stand up and look around.

Beast Boy:

Hey! Looks like everyone went home!

Cyborg:

Just means more pie for us! [Both sit down at a table. Cyborg whistles for Mother Mae-Eye, and she comes out carrying a tray of three pies, each looking color-coordinated to the other three Titans. Cyborg picks up the Starfire pie and looks at it suspiciously.] Something tells me I just figured out what Mother Mae-Eye's secret ingredient is.

Beast Boy:

[Looks suspiciously at the Robin pie.] Uh huh.

Cyborg:

[Takes a bite out of the Starfire pie, enjoying it.] Love. [Gags and takes a strand of Starfire's hair out of his mouth.]

Beast Boy:

[Eats the whole Robin pie, enjoying that while he takes Robin's badge out of his mouth.] Yep. [Throws the badge away and grabs the Raven pie.] The secret ingredient is definitely love. [Takes a bite out of the Raven pie.]

Cyborg and Beast Boy continue eating their pies. The other three Titans, with some pie on their now-torn clothes, stand next to them. Robin and Raven glare at them while Starfire tightens some ropes around Mother Mae Eye, glaring at them afterwards.

Robin:

(Sarcastically) Seriously?

Cyborg and Beast Boy:

(Oblivious) What?

Episode ends.

Interior. Titans Tower. Monday.

Beast Boy is playing a video game in his bedroom. He has just reached the Ultimate Boss.

Beast Boy:

This is gonna be the greatest achievement of my life.

Beast Boy starts fighting the Ultimate Boss. He's managing to avoid the Ultimate Boss's attacks and has knocked the boss's health down to nearly zero. Suddenly, Robin kicks Beast Boy's door down.

Robin:

Beast Boy! Emergency! No time to explain! Come on, get in the car! Gotta go!

Beast Boy drops the controller and follows Robin. The Ultimate Boss destroys his character, and the words "YOU ARE DIE" appear on the screen.

Jump City.

Beast Boy is driving Robin in the T-Car.

Beast Boy:

What's the emergency?

Robin:

Got a monster to deal with. [They stop at BurgerSplode!] A monster case of the munchies! Cheeseburger, fries, milkshake, and a small side salad, stat!

Unintelligible language is heard from the drive thru speaker. Beast Boy looks annoyed.

Interior. Titans Tower. Tuesday.

Cyborg is running a backup on his computer memory. It's only at 14%.

Cyborg:

Man, these backups seem like they take longer every week.

Robin:

[Enters.] Cyborg! Emergency! No time to explain! Come on, get in the car! We've gotta go!

Robin pulls Cyborg away from his computer. When the plug pops out, a "Warning" "Data Lost!" error appears on the screen. Cyborg is shown driving Robin.

Exterior. Game Bear.

Robin:

Check it out. Dog Simulator 2000.

Cyborg, looking annoyed, smacks the game out of Robin's hand.

Interior. Titans Tower. Wednesday.

Starfire is picking berries off an alien plant. Silkie reaches for them.

Starfire:

You cannot eat the berries, Silkie. They are bad for you. Yes, they are. Oh, yes, they are.

Robin:

[Crashes in through the window.] Starfire! Emergency! No time to explain! Come on, get in the car! We've gotta go!

Robin grabs Starfire and pulls her off the chair. Silkie takes advantage of this to devour the berries and the pot containing them. As a result, Silkie bloats up horribly.

Exterior. The Cave.

Starfire is parked and Robin rushes to the establishment.

Robin:

Pick me up in an hour! Thank you!

Starfire growls angrily, her eyes glowing green.

Interior. Titans Tower. Thursday.

Raven is fending off a demon that is trying to appear through a portal in her room.

Raven:

Back, foul demon! [Blasts it with dark magic.] Azarath Metrion Zin -

A buzzing sound is heard, and a piece of the ceiling drops in.

Robin:

[Through the hole in the ceiling.] Raven! Emergency! No time to explain! Come on, get in the car, we gotta go!

Robin drops in, grabs Raven, and uses his grapple to leave through the hole. The demon looks around, then escapes.

The beach.

Robin grabs a surfboard out of the T-Car and rushes to the waves. Raven goes demonic with rage.

Exterior. Titans Tower. Friday.

The escaped demon eats the seagull outside the tower.

Interior. Titans Tower.

In the living room, Raven is meditating, Beast Boy is asleep on the couch arm as a cat, Cyborg is using a tablet, and Starfire is holding Silkie, who is still bloated. A smoke bomb flies in and goes off, revealing Robin.

Robin:

Guys! Emergency! No time to explain! Come on, get in the car! We've gotta go!

Robin runs off, but none of the other Titans move. Robin returns.

Robin:

GUYS! EMERGENCY! CAR!! GO! NOW!!!

Robin runs off again. The other Titans still don't move. Robin returns again.

Robin:

Guys? Heh heh ... Emergency?

Raven:

Oh, yeah? So what's the big emergency, Robin?

Robin:

[Hesitates a moment, then holds up a flyer.] Everything's half-off at the Dollar Store!

Cyborg:

Man, all week you've been bumming rides for stupid stuff. You know you messed up my weekly backup, right? You're lucky I didn't lose any important data.

Starfire:

I must agree with Cyborg. It is most irritating.

Cyborg:

Thank you. [Suddenly looks confused, and scans Starfire. The identity scan comes up blank. He turns to Robin.] Who's that orange girl? [Suddenly glitches.]

Beast Boy:

Why can't you just drive yourself, dude?

Robin:

[Hesitantly.] Uh ... my, uh ... [Clears throat.] My license was ... suspended.

Beast Boy:

[Turns back to normal with a yowl.] What?!

Robin:

Yeah, ah ... I was in a little fender-bender.

Flashback begins.

Robin, on the phone, is standing across the road from the wrecked Batmobile.

Robin:

No, no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! You don't need to come down! It's just a scratch.

The Batmobile suddenly explodes. Robin drops his phone.

Flashback ends.

Raven:

So ... you destroyed the Batmobile.

The others are silent for a while, then Cyborg and Beast Boy start laughing.

Beast Boy:

You did not ...

Cyborg:

Oh! Ah ... you're in trouble.

Starfire:

[Giggles.] It is fun to laugh at someone else's misfortune!

Robin:

Anyways... I found a guy on the internet. He says he'll get my license back, no problemo.

Raven:

Sounds kinda sketchy, Robin.

Robin:

It's on the level. Besides, how can I not pass? I am a master driver! [Gives a thumbs up.]

Exterior. Jump City Bank.

Robin:

Well, this is where the driving instructor told me to meet. [Takes a note off a car's window.] "Get in, start engine." Okay.

Robin gets in the car, fastens his seat belt, then turns the ignition key, starting the car. He turns on the radio, then starts changing the station. Finding a song he likes, he starts bobbing his head to the beat. Outside, an alarm bell rings, and Ed runs out with a duffel bag stuffed with money. He sees Robin waiting in the car nearby and runs to it. He tosses the duffel bag of money into the back, grabs a clipboard, and closes the trunk. He gets in the car and fastens his own seatbelt. Robin is car-dancing along with the music. Ed turns the radio off, getting Robin's attention.

Ed:

My name is Ed. I'll be your driving instructor.

Robin:

Ed? As in "Driver's Ed"? [Chuckles.]

Ed:

Just Ed. The way this works is that every time you fail to comply with an instruction, I make a deduction. Too many deductions, you fail.

Robin:

Hey, what's that noise? Is that -?

Ed:

Pull out into traffic and proceed through the intersection.

Robin:

B-but what about -

Ed:

And that's a deduction. [Marks the clipboard.]

Robin:

Okay. Right, right. I'm going.

Robin pulls away as a police officer runs up. The police officer shoots at the car. Robin looks back, hearing the gunshots.

Robin:

I swear that sounds like -

Ed:

Eyes front.

Robin:

Sorry.

Ed:

That's a deduction. [Marks again.] Left here.

Jump City.

Robin turns the car.

Ed:

No signal. Another deduction.

Robin:

Oh man ...

Ed looks back, seeing police cars coming in pursuit.

Ed:

Increase your speed.

Robin:

If you say so.

Ed:

Now turn right.

Robin makes the turn, followed by the police.

Robin:

Are you sure -

Ed:

Deduction. Left.

A dog is about to pee on a fire hydrant, when Robin hits the accelerator and is launched over the dog and its owner.

Ed:

Deduction. Hard right.

Robin drives back past the dog and his owner, sending them spinning. The police follow, sending them spinning again, until the dog is holding the leash on the owner.

Ed:

Turn right.

Robin:

[Notices the ocean is to their right.] But there's no -

Ed:

Two deductions. Hard right.

Robin turns the car to the right, sending them through a guardrail and dropping into the ocean. The cops stop at the edge above.

Ed:

I think we're finished here.

Robin:

So? How did I do?

Ed hands him the sheet, marked with "Fail."

Interior. Titans Tower.

Raven:

So, you failed your Driver's Test?

The other Titans start laughing.

Cyborg:

"Master driver," huh?

Starfire:

[Giggles.] Laughing at your shortcomings makes us all feel better about ourselves. [Giggles again, then floats over to Robin.] It is okay, Robin. A lot of people fail the test of driving.

Cyborg:

Will someone please tell me who this strange woman is?

Behind Cyborg, outside the tower, the demon slithers by.

Robin:

Look, I'm a great driver. I'm just ... not a great test taker.

Flashback to Robin taking a vision test.

Robin:

L, R, alligator, and blurry spot. [The eye machine lifts away, revealing Robin, without his mask, has very tiny eyes. He walks away, but crashes into the wall.].

Flashback ends.

Robin:

The good thing is, I can keep re-taking the test until I pass. And I will pass, because I am a master driver!

Robin poses. No one else reacts. Robin walks away.

Raven:

He's gonna fail, isn't he?

Cyborg:

Big time.

Exterior. Pawn Dudes.

Robin is in the car outside. Ed runs out with a bag of loot and gets in the car. Robin drives off as a police officer comes out, shooting at the car.

Jump City.

Robin:

So last time, I think you freaked me out a little. But now I'm ready. [Reacts in shock to the sound of gunshots.] Did you hear that? That sounds like -

Ed:

That's gonna be a--

Robin:

Okay, okay! No deductions!

Robin continues driving with the Jump City Police Department's squad cars in pursuit.

Ed:

This music is terrible. [Changes the radio station.] That's a deduction.

Robin is coming up on a roadblock. He hits one of the barricades and goes airborne, sailing over the roadblock and landing on the other side.

Ed:

[Checks a stopwatch.] Only three seconds in the air? Deduction.

Interior. Food Bear.

Robin drives into Food Bear with the Jump City Police Department still following. Ed has a basket of groceries in the car now, and grabs another item.

Ed:

I asked you to turn down the cereal aisle.

Robin:

I know. That's a deduction.

A chase montage ensues which ends with all the police cars crashed into one another, and Robin and Ed getting away safely. Robin drives out of Food Bear and stops the car.

Jump City.

Ed:

Meet me for a re-take in front of the casino. [Holds up another "Fail" test score.]

Exterior. Casino.

Ed runs out of the casino with a bag of loot and gets in the car. Robin drives off as a policeman runs out and shoots at the car. Robin fails again.

Ed:

By the money factory.

Exterior. Money Factory.

Robin once again drives Ed away from a crime scene as a police officer shoots at them. Robin fails yet again.

Ed:

At the end of the rainbow.

End of the rainbow.

Ed gets in the car with a pot of gold and Robin drives away. A leprechaun runs out and fires a golden gun at them. A flood of failed tests rains down.

Exterior. Justice Java.

The demon peeks out of the sewer, then ducks back down. The Titans are gathered at one of the tables.

Cyborg:

[Focuses his eye on Starfire.] How 'bout you just tell me who you are? [His eye extends further.] We went to school together, right? [Another eye pops out.] You look a lot like my cousin. [More eyes pop out, making Starfire cringe.] Did we eat at the same restaurant the other night?

Raven:

Hey, is that Robin?

Across the street, Robin is waiting in the car outside of Diamonds A'Plenty.

Beast Boy:

Huh. He's supposed to be meeting his Driver's Ed instructor. I don't know why he's in front of a jewelry store.

They suddenly hear an alarm. Ed runs out with a bag of loot and gets in the car. Robin drives away, as a police officer shoots at them.

Raven:

Looks like it's because he's the getaway driver.

Starfire:

Surely Robin is not aware he is aiding and abetting a criminal.

Cyborg:

Well, that's why we gotta warn him ... whoever you are. [Glitches again.]

Jump City.

Robin hears honking behind him. Looking back, he sees the T-Car and the other Titans trying to get his attention.

Robin:

What are they doing here? Oh, they're here to laugh at me. "No superpowers and can't drive." I'll bet that's what they're saying. I'll show them!

Ed:

Make a right here.

Robin:

Stow it, Ed! I've got this one.

Robin accelerates. Cyborg activates the T-Car's rockets to turn up their own speed. Robin aims his grapple gun out the window and fires it around a lamppost, making a sharp left. The T-Car can't turn in time and crashes into the building across the street. The T-Car is behind Robin again, though. Robin drives for a building, going straight up it. The T-Car smacks into the wall, but then drives up the building itself. The two cars are soon jumping from rooftop to rooftop. They then drive up a slanted roof.

Outer space.

They launch into space. Robin smoothly drives between a trio of asteroids, but the T-Car bounces off them like a pinball. They re-enter the Earth's atmosphere. Cyborg and the others, as well as Ed, are freaking out, but Robin is in complete control.

End of the rainbow.

Robin lands on the rainbow and drives down it, as the T-Car bounces off it. Robin's car bounces off the leprechaun and comes to a perfect stop. The T-Car lands, bouncing and smashing, and settles onto its tires. It then explodes, dropping the Titans to the ground.

Raven:

Nice driving, Cyborg.

A tire lands on Cyborg, causing him to glitch out again. The tire impact, however, restores his memory.

Cyborg:

Hey, when did Starfire get here?

Ed is badly shaken up, but he hands Robin the results.

Ed:

You pass.

Robin:

Yes!

Ed:

But only because I never want you as a getaway driver again! I was using you the whole time and you couldn't see it!

Robin:

Nope! I knew. That's why I'm not warning you about the demon.

Ed is seized by the demon and dragged, screaming, into its portal.

Robin:

That's right. Master Driver! [Poses, with fireworks bursting around him.]

Episode ends.