Hello! Please move on to the next episode for the beginning of the chapter. Today I will discussing some important details that author-san has forgotten...

Author-san..your work has already has a great start..but you may have overdone the revenge part to the point that every chapter is pretty boring..She will get framed..then she will be hot-headed..then her husband is going to give her love and I think that the love part is a bit late but I'll discuss that later...and the story has lost color...

Author-san, as a critique and a frequent reader, here are the things that you completely missed and I hope you won't get mad

You were unable to follow the story mountain.

The Story Mountain consists of:

•The Beginning

•The Rising Part

•The Climax

•The Falling Action

•The Ending

Here is how I see you made your Manga

✔The Beginning

I give it a B+

Your Beginning has a great catcher..Now that Girl Power manga's are in demand you have to have a more unique background for girl power. you know what I mean? I mean..all of the girl power genre can't just be reborn and revenge..you have to come up with something unique..like She was bullied in modern times and now that she is reborned to ancient times, she is able to fight back because the original owner has the same experience of bullying like the M.C in the first place..kinda of like that..

✔The Rising Part

Your Rising Part is definitely a D-

The Rising part is the part is supposed to be the longest part and one way to elongate its episode span is by adding love parts..I noticed that the love parts was added a bit late and it gave me a weird feeling because in the past episodes she wasn't so soft infront of Sikong Jin..She was a lot firece so by adding love parts cannot only elongate it but lengthen the episodes and at the same time viewers like me who expect she doesn't show her soft side to the M.L (because in past episodes she doesn't do that) will get used to it!

Another thing that you completely missed and let me tell you this trick not only LENGTHEN the episode COMPLETELY but also to let the F.L have character is by letting it FAIL! I Know! Letting it fail?? Yes! Because Chu Xiyao is representing a human, and as a human she also fall from the traps of others!

Letting her win all the time can build a fierce reputation for her..but your episodes will get affected..because then no one dares to provoke her!! Look at "Revenge of the Fierce Princess" they have followed that pattern because (spoiler alert) one of her maids died because she got carried away from revenging and that's how stories should be! Not only letting the maid die gives her more reasons to revenge..then again episodes have been lengthened! You get what I mean? My point is don't go overboard building her fierce character..while the episodes are still short..show she has a soft side..Making mangas is about lengthening the span of episodes it's also adding that she's human too and can be a fool..Just because she is reborned she also can make a mistake, you know😉😉

Also in this part..You should add a lot of SMALL DETAILS! YES! Small Details MATTER!! They can make an entire story flip because of THAT! It can make a huge slap in the face because of a small detail. Take "Young General, Your Wife is Too Cunning"

In one episode the F.L was accused of stealing something. The F.L retaliated that she would not steal using a bag that has a hole. See? That is a small detail (hole in a bag) but it made a difference!

Another small thing that you could make is letting the antagonist fight the F.L. It could add excitement to the readers and the readers are gonna keep up to via😉😉

✔The Climax

This is the part where the table should turn

Keeping in mind that the F.L fails this part of the story is somewhat short and keep it simple. Also this part is the exciting because the truth is getting revealed and the good things happen.

(I'm not gonna rate the author on this one because author did it early and the grade is quite disappointing)

✔The Falling Action

I have nothing else to say here because author presented well and early C-

(because falling action was too early and that's a deduction)

✔The Ending

The Ending was also early and what the other readers don't know is, you guys are actually in a sequel and the sequel of Mind Reading Princess is good. Like the episodes in the sequel are much better than the earlier episodes. Quite dissatisfied there, but please don't take my opinion to heart.

One Manga that you can definitely inspire from and let me tell you I give it an A+ (in my opinion) is The Dream of Night Bloom.

The details that I was looking for was followed..

"Why??!! Why has fate brought me to this?!?!

I can't believe my own sister who is just above by a lowly maid can plan to take away what's mine!! Sikong Shengyu! I loved you! I can't believe your standards for a woman is low!! Liking my non-biological sister?!?! Your standards are really getting low at this point!"

Chu Xiyu slapped her in the face.

"How dare you speak ill of me, the future wife of the crown prince! You are so naive to think that he loves you! What a fool! And I wonder where one Earth you got that personality..Oh did you get that from mother and father??"

Chu Xiyao slapped her sister..

"You can speak ill of me but not our parents, you should be thankful you vixen for letting my parents feed you, give you shelter and give you life and now what?? Our parents is now lost and yet you still speak so illicit towards them?!?!"

Sikong Shengyu pulled her hair and she fell to the ground

"Aghh... My head hurts!! Sikong Shengyu Chu Xiyu once I come back from the dead..I..will..let..you..pay.."

Chu Xiyu smirked "As if THAT could happen!!"

She leaned in closer to Xiyao.

"If you did come back and reborn, I don't think I will give you the chance to ever live..So don't even come thinking of living again and destroying me!!"

Chu Xiyao took the courage to still breathe and say her final words.."Dream on! Once I come back I'll...destroy.."

"hiss..so bright!! Oh where am I??"

"Milady, please get up..the third prince is here to see you.."

Chu Xiyao is left in shocked. She could've sworned that she passed away but then she realized fate let her live again so she can make up for her mistakes..

"Ha! Life wasn't mean to me! It was just me who was a fool deciding for myself! Oh..My..In this lifetime..I'll give no mercy to anyone.."

She wiped her lips and got ready to meet the third prince..She looked at the mirror to let her sister know she is in charge!

She walked out of her manor to go to the garden where she usually stays. The third prince saw her and tried to impress her with some poems.

"The day is indeed beautiful to meet your lover..but more beautiful in the night.."

"Ha! You think I'm impressed?! It sounds to me you are a sxx maniac!" she wispered lowly

"My dear Xiyao..I didn't know you where in the garden.."

"I always go in the garden to mesmerize nature, were you not informed?..or were you to busy hanging out with the other girls?.."

"It sounds to me like your jealous.." Shengyu rebutled

"Jealousy are for lovers and for people that envy. I am too mature for jealousy."

Xiyao left the garden leaving Shengyu in stunned.

"Did something happen to Xiyao? Why do I feel like she suddenly changed?"

Xiyao was walking back to her manor when she passed by her sister

"Good Morning sister!" Xiyu exclaimed

"Good Morning to you too! What a fine day to be so beautiful and attract men... don't you think??"

"As a woman, we do like being attractive don't we sister??" Xiyu exclaimed while holding onto her sisters arm

Xiyu whispered in her mind "Don't you dare lay your fingers on Shengyu! Shengyu is mine, he only plans to use you.. then he promised me I'll be queen."

Xiyao was surprised! She can actually hear the enemies thoughts..She never expected that she was really foolish back then and that it was all planned long time ago! She smirked and said to Xiyu..

"Am I foolish??"

Sikong Shengyu saw Xiyao frok the distance...He was elegant infront of her...

"Good morning, my princess!!" he said expressively

His plans were all like this..He was going to greet Xiyao in a loud voice so that everybody in the manor could hear him. Then Xiyao's father wouod approve their marriage..

Xiyao came upto Shengyu..

"Why are you screaming so loud this morning!?!? Are you in labor pain that you have to scream as if I'm a mile away??"

Shengyu was surprised! "What happened?? She ususally come running to me and hug me?? Why the different response??"

he said in his mind!"

"You think I don't know what you've been upto?? Clinging onto me for father's approval?? Ha! Nice try.." Xiyao said giving a cold look to Shengyu

"I have to leave..I have some things to do myself anyways.."

Xiyu and Shengyu looked at each other confused..

"Uhhh..sister..why did you.."

"Act indifferent to him?? He was really annoying!! I realized that his way of greeting sounds like a 7 year old..And I don't want a fiancé that acts like a child.."

"Ohhhh.."

"You'll soon thank me for acting like that on him.."

She walked more faster and Xiyu stopped walking and was left in a dazed..

"What does she mean that I'll be thankful for her acting like that??"

"Sister..Are you going to greet grandma???"

"Ummm..I'm coming.."

They both went to her grandma's manor

They both greeted her

"Good Morning to the both of you.."

Grandma felt a cold aura at Xiyao..

"What's up with Xiyao?? Why do I feel a cold aura at her??"

"Grandma, should I get a blanket to loosen you up..I think you feel quite cold as the winter season is indeed coming near, it's best of grandma takes care of herself so grandma can have longevity.."

A servant gave Xiyao a blanket and a cup of hot tea..

Xiyu was jealous inside, because Xiyao took her thunder..

"Let me see what you are thinking of dear sister.." Xiyao said to herself cunningly..

"How dare you try and steal my thunder, you vixen..Brazen enough to let grandma favor you..but don't ever think of Shengyu..Even in your dreams.."

Xiyao laughed inside..

"Do you think I want that useless scumbag??

Sure he got the looks, but he is more useless than you think..Moreover..manipulative..."

*flashbacks*

Shengyu and Xiyao were in the royal garden talking to one another while eating some royal pastries..

"Hahahaha..Shengyu..You always tell all the funniest jokes!!"

"Why of course, all of these jokes are reserved for my princess"

Xiyao blushed..

"Once I become King you will be my Queen..And there will be no other concubines than you.."

"Ohhhh.. Shengyu..you always say that..but I believe you because our love is truly eternal and nothing could ruin it.."

They hugged one another..

"Xiyao?? Xiyao?? Are you okay??" Grandma asked

Xiyao was hugging onto grandma and grandma pities her..

"Poor child..are you overwhelmed with the marriage?? Do you have problems.."

"Well.."

Then she remembered something..