hi I am vaishvi Prajapati

I am from India

my age is 13 and I am a girl...

so everyone on group and PC. asked me why I have this kinda dp.. answer is that I am in depression. In this novel I will answer your all how when what why questions and tell my story..😁😁

pls read it and like it and subscribe it...

so here I am putting my fav lonely song that I hear.. u will get an idea of my loneliness. 😂😂

**I HATE U I LOVE U I HATE THAT I LOVE U:

.Feeling used but I'm still missing you

And I can't see the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips

And now all this time is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put

Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

I miss you when I can't sleep

Or right after coffee

Or right when I can't eat

I miss you in my front seat

Still got sand in my sweaters

From nights we don't remember

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Messed around and got attached to you

Friends can break your heart too

And I'm always tired but never of you

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that

I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that

I type a text but then I 'nevermind' that

I got these feelings but you never mind that

Oh oh, keep it on the low

You're still in love with me but your friends don't know

If you wanted me you would just say so

And if I were you, I would never let me go

I don't mean no harm

I just miss you on my arm

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could have been?

You said you wouldn't and you did

Lie to me, lie with me, get your fix

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all mixed

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So every lonely night, I sing this song

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

All alone I watch you watch her

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen

You don't care you never did

You don't give a damn about me

Yeah all alone I watch you watch her

She's the only thing you've ever seen

How is it you never notice

That you are slowly killing me

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put

Nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her**

this story is based on my real life...

FEB 13 2018...

it was my sports day and my sister's race was about to start in school.. I was very happy.. and rushed through in hurry piles of the bag in front.. never noticed them.. as fast as I can run and stuck in the piles of the bag. and I tripped over a boy in my class who was standing behind me.. I didn't care I just jogged and I was on time... my sis came first I was very happy. I came back to the tent totally forget about what happened in school.. all eyes were on me and they all started to laugh on me and teasing by calling that boy name.. btw name of him is prajnay. I was pissed off that time but ignored them.. my race the one who is the most good in Sports lost it.. because of that incident when we were leaving boys pushed me down to ground and they were too many for me to fight and I was beaten up.. I didn't said a word and went home.. next day when I came in my bus all seniors came to me talkking about yesterday.. and teasing me I told them to shut up.. but no one did. when I entered the class whole class laughed at me and teased me.. even that boy who I fell on.. even my friends. I didn't do anything but standing empty. during they will put my stuff in boy's drawer and I was so furious but couldn't do anything.. soon in whole day everyone knew the incident and I.. was just smiling not knowing to do what. when I came home I decided not to tell anybody.. and I would cry in midnight when everybody was asleep.. I was used to this every day.. it was too much to me but I was nothing. . my friends we're also with them.. they would splash water in my hair.. tear pages from books and notebooks.. this went to next level..

***to be continued...

I will* add one more lonely song

ECHO** :

Hello, hello

Anybody out there? 'Cause I don't hear a sound

Alone, alone

I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name

Like a fool at the top of my lungs

Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright

But it's never enough

'Cause my echo, echo

Is the only voice coming back

Shadow, shadow

Is the only friend that I have

Listen, listen

I would take a whisper if that's all you had to give

But it isn't, is it?

You could come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name

Like a fool at the top of my lungs

Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright

But it's never enough

'Cause my echo, echo

Is the only voice coming back

Shadow, shadow

Is the only friend that I have

I don't wanna be an island

I just wanna feel alive and

Get to see your face again

I don't wanna be an island

I just wanna feel alive and

Get to see your face again

But 'til then

Just my echo, my shadow

You're my only friend and I'm

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name

Like a fool at the top of my lungs

Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright

But it's never enough

'Cause my echo, echo

Oh my shadow, shadow

Hello, hello

Anybody out there?

till class 6th the torture and bullying I was taking was normal.. but when I came in 7th.. I had enough of it was on next level. the boy that I fell on spread rumours of me that I was in relation ship with one more boy.. that time I was furious and could not hold more so I grabbed his collar and gave him a warning to stop all this shit he was spreading but it got worse. ... when the teacher left the class he announced that shit in whole class and I was standing blank minded.. the classmates looked at me and whole class laughed at me.. that time teacher entered I asked her for a leave of 2 minutes. I went to the bathroom and locked the door.. I sat down on the seat and cried. why me... I thought I didn't wanted to make it worse so I went fast to the classroom holding a fake smile.. the days went even teachers we're like this to me now.. they would call me in front of the class and then insult me or ship me with boys... I was standing in front seeing them laughing and torturing me... I would go to my seat faking a smile like nothing happend so... one day I was so bullied by some boys that I started crying in front of my friends.. they called the teacher.. the teacher asked me why I was crying and then I told her how i was been bullied.. the teacher went to boys and asked them they told a lie and teacher came furiously to me and then I was the one who was scolded ... that time was tge worse of all.. now in the bus.. it was beating me .. i was beaten by a boy named kunal.. he would call me on the back seat and would punch me on my back.. if i wouldn't come he would twist my hand.. that would pain me a lot. when i sat quietly on my seat seeing the outer world and lost in my thoughts form back they would pour water in my ears.. once the bus was full and my seat was occupied.. i found girl seating alone. she was in 1st class.. my bag was very heavy so I sat there that girl.. she took out her belt and beat me... I was shocked and no one said a single word and was watching drama. but she was small and I didn't wanted to hit her.. so I just scolded her... I without telling anyone I just went home... at home also silent never told anyone about anything and when everyone sleep I cried... telling myself to keep down.. to hold myself and go on. but I never knew there was more to suffer.. more to take that shit..

to *be continued...

**please like and subscribe this novel.. I hope u all are enjoying my story... and once again it based on my real life.. my depression and all of this is true..

love u all.❤❤❤💋💋💋***