The only moment I can think all to myself.! Jenny Said while looking at the mess she created slightly raising up her left eyebrows while gazing upon an old dairy.

From her reaction you could read she was feeling all emotions at once she had on her face a rather disturbing look that contradict what ever is going on in her head you can clearly read a face irritated by what she's seeing or rather disgusted.

Ugh seriously I need some growing up to do she said softly fixing her gaze on the seascape painting hanged on the wall.

jenny as always been the type that a stranger will look in one glance and think what an odd person most times people misjudge her sense of humor leading to big misunderstandings at times some people decide to stay away due to her nonchalant attitude but deep down she's just a little lost cat who shows opposite emotions when it comes to feelings just like your typical cat would you know the grabbing you aggressively, the showing of affections with little harmless attack's, the hissing at you to leave them alone  but you know they don't feel so the one's that follows you everywhere like a lost puppy or the M.E and no one else between us yeah a little bit possessive yet understand what personal space meant.

Jenny is the type who gives much even though she knows she might not be treated same way, her favorite quote is yeah I understand, it's normal you're human you have feeling's it might not always be the best, but it's fine.

if she's being treated in an awful way she took it as a challenge I'm the reason they are giving me crap there are some things that can't be fixed, I'll grow stronger enough to shut them down and teach them how to shut their mouth nd deal with their own business.

And if it's something she should be working on she takes on the challenge to fix things giving room for improvement that has been a goal set.

There's another part of her that overthink every situation your one word means a universe of web series, she's choose her words carefully so she won't receive any harmful response however some sees that as sense of pride, some says people pleaser but what ever, who cares.

Everyone is out there adapting, striving for something pushing for someone or something. Everybody says I don't care deep down they care, they care about what people think even if they say they don't give a damn they care.

Sometimes I wonder what's like to be seen in another person point of view, I'm human I do have feelings, I try to understand my feelings by embracing them all to balance each and every part of my feeling.

sadness: why do I feel sad? I ask myself this questions sometimes, at times when everything seems normal, I should be happy but I'm feeling opposite emotions, it can be a reoccurrence of some past memories I thought about, or I found myself in some embarrassing situation that trigger my change of mood, I question my self, I observe , indeed I communicate with it, analyze the cause, reason, reflect and I move on.

Happiness; I'm overwhelmed I feel like I can do anything I'm too hyped the world feels clear and great.! I feel like I've won a lottery I try to analyze the reasons for my sudden change of mood, delight in each moment, embrace all the intense feelings I felt, reflect, analyze, move on.

I believe we have so many emotions worth studying to fully connect with one self.

We're human with feelings, you have a share of that moment of should have been me, I deserved that, I was in fact lucky, yes analyze the cause, the reason, reflect and move on.

my name is Jenny and this is my dairy dairy.

Having so much to say, yet you're struggling with how to put word's together to form sentences that's how It felt like reading Jenny's past dairy you could see she was clearly young she was still figuring things out trying to know where she fit in looking back to her past self she was clearly miserable sorry if that word hit you hard, but i think we all at some point can relate?

Damn.! This language isn't even my first language, she said aloud many misspelled words made it seems raw although all her life she was exposed to this language. she poured a lot of her emotions into writing that she doesn't bother to try to reread her words to check for some errors what word is it called again, the English speaker called it when you're being too emotional.

At home even in school English was the first means of communication, however they had their own invented English which almost everyone spoke and could understand

when you come to a certain age Everyone has to learn to read and write english was still the most used language when it comes to writing.

At home mom and dad uses more of their native language and at school English words was mostly what was learned jenny first language was her native language almost everyone speaks it in their respective accent.

isn't it fascinating how most people from the same region their accent makes one go ooh he/she from this place, that's kinda hilarious and unique.

Jenny's Mom always mix both language together while her dad always uses his native language bet you're trying to figure where Jenny's from lol sometimes she wonder why she was born there but believe when she says she loves her culture, she embraces her heritage, her country and who ever she choose to be.

guess I'm making things difficult for you, I know but let make it a puzzle, hold on to that thought and try to guess where Jenny's from :) now let go of that thought:) because it doesn't really matter.

Can't remember when jenny start keeping dairy all she could remember was, she was a little kid with so many questions, she couldn't put much into words, couldn't bring herself to ask many questions for the fear of being a burden or being too much the only thing she could do was write it down to be sincere that felt much better, more secured, more like she had a close friend she could really trust.

She still made this joke till date I realized what trust means too earlier than I should have.

She always tells her mom maybe she had many bad energy in her past life because she's always quick to say "trust no one" dream of the worst that could happen accept oh I knew that one day this too will come to an end, don't expect much from people..

these made her much of a poker face cause damn she always appears mean because of her slow reaction to some certain things were unexpected even at some point unintentionally treated her mom same way yeah I know what you're thinking "unintentionally" but knows it… yeah! she does because she is an overthinker and at the end of her day she always reviews herself things she had done and said whenever she's reviewing she put herself in second party position and realize oh my response was quite mean, my reaction was off, I shouldn't have done things that way maybe next time I should have done things this way, there are multiple ways I could have solved that problem then she tells herself never to repeat same mistakes again. simply she lived her life that way. yup she isn't much of a fun person she get that alot.

Don't be too serious with your life, try smiling a bit learn to enjoy the moment...

In the eyes of a man lies so much passion; empathy, kindness and love. Just like how nature works man bloomed without realizing the big bang evolution of greatness and with time ticking none stop the evolution of man came and the freewill to back themselves up grew stronger day by day. man evolved so as the ground they stood on grew taller yes indeed that is the wonders of existing becoming one as man went into light.

How precious would that be if man doesn't see much of its own reflection? Much of its own flaws, would life been simpler?

If man didn't see much of its own reflections will that makes life more livable? If man only saw little of its own reflections if man refection wasn't as obvious would now be different?

unconsciously man became too conscious of its surroundings living became a paradise fashioned hell for all inhabitants you just gotta know more to avoid the unknown and if you're unfortunate enough to not know and still be damn lucky to survive..! that's one hell of a luck you got there.

so many questions with answers that leads to another question, what if man had less of unnecessary demands to meet, less status to check, less anger to fix less of from my own point to view? Less of visibility will that makes living more living? if man has less of nonsense to study will living be more livable?

We live just to die believe me I'm not complaining I'm just trying to understand why I had to live just to die? This expression made me realized something which is how much of a human I am. Man always want to be seen, man always have something to say, always unsatisfied with what they had indeed human have the qualities similar to that of animals the inner rage they keep suppressing shows how togetherness is far from the picture how growing watching the people they hate just to become like them how trying so hard to become things they're not, how much they preach gospel that contradict their teaching. how everything seems so wrong you can't point right, how the word wrong or right makes no sense. Yes that is the big bang evolution of greatness they spoke of the hunting game of predator and the prey only one has to survive who is more wiser? who is more smarter? who has the most luck, who can easily adapt to anything and who is more unfortunate?

The desires to identify oneself grew stronger the wider man chase after the wind how easily they were manipulated.

The hands that feed them they betrayed, the hands that helped them they cut off and If you asked them why they did all they did they all said exactly same thing, it's the voices that tells them to keep hunting, the demonic cultivation of their mind yes that is the big bang evolutionary theory they practice more terror by day, more terror by night nothing is safe.

Oh!.. The life of one man is conjoined tales of many gone and the uniqueness in distribution of features pass down from generations to generations, that also the ultimate big bang revolution of man. The urge to make a change by actually causing a big deal of one hell of a change.

The fight for freedom with so many bloodshed just to be call a traitor by those fought for... the unnecessary fight for anything that arose their desires of their pov

What a pity, What a waste, a life of chasing after the wind, a world were the chase never ends

my name is Jenny and this is my daily dairy.