Oops! We Got Married?!
Drunken Mistake
[GROUP CHAT: GOLDEN MAKNAES]
[Jungkook created the group]
JungKook
YO JIMIN! GUESS WHAT?!
JungKook
I DID SOMETHING STUPID.
[Unknown Number has joined the chat]
JungKook
BRO. I GOT MARRIED LAST NIGHT
JungKook
LIKE. LEGALLY. PAPERWORK AND EVERYTHING.
Unknown
Congrats, I guess?
JungKook
NO, IT’S BAD. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I MARRIED.
JungKook
I was drunk, okay?! It was Vegas! I woke up and there was a ring on my finger and—
JungKook
Wait. Who are you?
Unknown
The guy you married, apparently.
[Unknown Number changed name to Hubby]
Hubby
Nice to meet you, husband. I’m Taehyung.
JungKook
NO WAY. NO FREAKING WAY.
JungKook
JIMIN WHERE ARE YOU? HELP ME.
Hubby
Who’s Jimin? I’m your one and only now~
JungKook
STOP FLIRTING, WE NEED TO ANNUL THIS.
Hubby
Hm. I dunno. I kinda like being married to a golden maknae.
Hubby
Plus, you seem fun when you panic.
JungKook
Panicking even more
Jimin
Sorry I was taking a shower, what’s up—
Jimin
WAIT. JUNGKOOK. DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST GET MARRIED TO KIM TAEHYUNG??
Jimin
BRO HE’S A FAMOUS MODEL AND SINGER.
Hubby
And now, apparently, your lawful husband~
JungKook
NO NO NO. THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING.
Jimin
Jungkook, my guy, my dude. You accidentally married someone way out of your league.
JungKook
??? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON???
JungKook
I NEED A DIVORCE.
Hubby
Aww, don’t be like that. At least take me on a honeymoon first?
JungKook
I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND.
Jimin
Jungkook, I hate to break it to you, but you’re totally married.
JungKook
HOW DO I UNDO A WHOLE MARRIAGE??
Hubby
You don’t. You just fall in love with me instead~
Stuck With You
[PRIVATE CHAT: JUNGKOOK & TAEHYUNG]
JungKook
Taehyung, listen. We need to fix this. There has to be a way out.
Hubby
Fix what? Our marriage? Aww, are you already tired of me, Kookie?
JungKook
STOP CALLING ME THAT. We don’t even KNOW each other!
Hubby
Well, whose fault is that? You should’ve at least asked my name before saying ‘I do.’
JungKook
Groaning Why are you so chill about this??
Hubby
Because it’s funny. Also, because there’s nothing we can do about it right now. I checked.
JungKook
What do you mean ‘checked’?
Hubby
The contract we signed… It has a clause. We can’t file for an annulment or divorce for at least three months. Legal reasons.
JungKook
I’M GOING TO SCREAM.
Hubby
Please do, I’d love to hear your cute voice~
Hubby
You literally have no choice. So, husband, since we’re stuck together, why don’t we make the best of it?
JungKook
There is no ‘we.’ I’m getting this undone the moment three months are up.
Hubby
Sure, sure. Let’s just see if you still feel that way after a month.
Hubby
😏Suit yourself, Kookie.
The Honeymoon Trap
[GROUP CHAT: GOLDEN MAKNAES]
Jimin
Wait, wait, so you two are stuck married for THREE MONTHS??
Jimin
This is the best drama I’ve ever seen unfold in real time.
JungKook
Jimin. Stop enjoying my suffering.
Jimin
I will do no such thing. So, when’s the honeymoon?
JungKook
THERE. IS. NO. HONEYMOON.
Hubby
Oh? But I already made plans~
JungKook
Taehyung, I swear—
Hubby
Relax, Kookie. It’s just a small getaway. A bonding trip, if you will.
Jimin
Oh, I love this already.
JungKook
I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH HIM.
Hubby
Aww, but husband, wouldn’t it be sad if our marriage didn’t have any memories?
JungKook
Taehyung, I will fight you.
Hubby
Oh, please do. I’d love to see that strength up close.
Hubby
I’M LEAVING THIS CHAT.
[Jungkook left the chat.]
Hubby
Oh, absolutely. After all, he can’t resist me for long~
[PRIVATE CHAT: JUNGKOOK & TAEHYUNG]
JungKook
I refuse to go on this ‘honeymoon.’
Hubby
Aww, Kookie, don’t be like that. It’s already booked~
Hubby
Nope. Non-refundable.
JungKook
… YOU REALLY BOOKED IT??
Hubby
Of course. First-class, luxury resort, all expenses paid.
Hubby
If you don’t, you’ll have to pay me back for your half.
Hubby
And yet, you’re still my husband~
[GROUP CHAT: GOLDEN MAKNAES]
Jimin
Wait, wait, wait. Jungkook is actually going on the honeymoon?!
JungKook
I have NO CHOICE.
Jimin
This is my favorite reality show.
JungKook
I will push him into the ocean.
Hubby
We’ll see who falls first, love~
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