Was it me that misunderstood you?

Was it me that treated you unfairly?

Was it me that didn't treat you right?

Was it me that's always doing wrong things?

Questions like these arises from my mind every time we fought, I've always wondered, how a beautiful day would end with a fight. Simple words lead to unimaginable damages to our relationship, simple fights made us tired of each other. Yet we stay, because we love each other. But is it really enough to just love her? I mean, I'm doing my best, I'm constantly changing and shaping myself to be the guy that she wants, but is it really not enough?

At the end of every argument, we fix one thing yet two more problems arise. Simple things are enough to make her mad, enough to give me a cold treatment. "Is it me that's insensitive, or she's just too sensitive" I ask myself. Questions like these comes through my mind every now and then, whenever we fight or whenever I make her sad with my words. But even so, I still disregard what i feel and think that I'm just in the wrong. I wanted the best for her, I wished that every night we had will end beautifully like how a wonderful day started, but that's too good to be true. Arguments over simple things have been common throughout our relationship, is it really because I'm insensitive?

I've heard the words "I deserve better" coming from her, but I just can't wrap my mind around it. I've been sacrificing my life for her, I've isolated myself from every one just so I could keep her company. I've chosen her over my family, became her supporter in everything, but somehow it's not enough. Am I really shit? Or am I not trying enough?

I've felt suffocated from this relationship, but I've been careful to make sure that she knows I'm fine. I love her, and it's an undeniable truth that's why I can't bring to tell her myself how I really feel, afraid that it will hurt her once she knows. You guys must be saying "why not try and tell her at least once?" I did, but she misunderstood it and became even more distant to me because she thinks her actions are the ones that hurt me. It is true, but I don't want her to feel down just because she hurt me.

I don't know what to do anymore, and I'm running out of solutions to solve our fights. I just hope that the future for us will only get better. This days of hardships and this plethora of little arguments should prove to be the sturdy foundation of our relationship, and not lead us slowly to the end of this dear connection that I treasure with all of my heart.