Sinister Obsession
CHILDHOOD GAMES
The warm breeze rustles through the air and I can feel the warmth of the coming summer. I was sitting on the grass on our lawn, weaving little daisies into flower crowns.
The breeze carries with itself laughter of kids but I pay no attention to them because my gaze is fixed on the boy sitting next to me.
Issac, my eighteen-year-old neighbor.
Lilian Winslet
Look! I made it!
With great excitement I show him my flower crown of daisies.
Issac Reed
That's my girl.
Issac Reed
It's so sweet. And beautiful. Just like you.
He gives me a smile as he softly runs his hand through my hair.
Tall and lean with his dark eyes, Issac was not like the other boys in my neighborhood.
He never teased me like my cousins did, never made me cry like the neighborhood boys did, never put me away just because I was a little girl.
He would sit patiently with me, helping me find the best flowers, listening to me with such intensifying gaze as I was his most important thing in the world.
I weave another flower crown and place it carefully and with great gentleness on his head. Then I gaze at his face, admiring my work.
Lilian Winslet
It looks perfect.
Lilian Winslet
Actually...
Lilian Winslet
You look like a king.
Lilian Winslet
Yes! You have a crown, that makes you a king.
Issac Reed
Then, what would that make you?
Lilian Winslet
A princess!! I am a princess.
Issac Reed
That's right, my princess.
Issac Reed
Then, I will have to protect my little princess forever, right?
Lilian Winslet
Of course. You are staying with me forever.
I emphasize on the word so that he knows clearly he's stuck with me for all eternity.
He lets out a chuckle reaching his hand out to touch my nose.
Lilian Winslet
Hey! It tickles.
His hands spread out to my neck, my stomach, my feet, everywhere that tickles.
We roll over on the grass, me attempting to shove his hand off and him holding on to me more tightly.
Lilian Winslet
I have to go home.
Lilian Winslet
I am going to go shopping with my mummy.
Lilian Winslet
Do you want to bring me something for you?
Issac Reed
You will bring me something?
Lilian Winslet
Yes, I can. I am a big girl now.
Issac Reed
Then, can you bring me lilies?
Lilian Winslet
The flowers?
Issac Reed
Yes, my princess.
Lilian Winslet
Okay, I can!
I clasp him into a tight hug before I go running off into my house.
I spent a good time selecting the lilies, promising only to have the best ones. Now, very carefully and with delicate touch I place them into their vase.
Lilian Winslet
Mommy, I am going to Issac's.
I gave a shout to my mom who was in the kitchen tending to her chores.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Sweetie-
Her voice echoed through the house but I had already rushed off, locking the door behind me as I did so.
And I stumbled on my way. A whole lot. The vase with the heaviness of the water was dragging down all my weight. I am pretty sure by the time I reached Issac's house the vase had gone dry.
With great efforts and swinging steps, I found myself standing on their doorstep.
There was a big lock chained on their door.
Lilian Winslet
It's me, Lilian.
I kept shouting hoping he would open up the door and sweep this away as a prank.
My eyes went blurry with swelling tears. The vase loosened from my hand and I ran away without having a glance back.
Lilian Winslet
Mommy! Mommy!! Mommy, where are you?
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Sweetie, what's wrong?
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
What happened?
She clasps me in her tightly as my tears wet her soft cotton top.
Lilian Winslet
I-Is-Issac i-is...
My words come out muffled as I try to speak through my tears.
Lilian Winslet
Issac is gone. He is gone. Why?
The words stick in my throat, unwilling to come out, unwilling to believe it.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
What do you mean he's gone?
Lilian Winslet
There's a big lock on their house with chains around it.
Lilian Winslet
And when I called, nobody answered.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Sweetheart, they must have gone somewhere for a few hours.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
They will be back.
She rubbed off my tears, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. I wanted to believe my mom's words.
But again at night when the stars shined bright in the dark drape I went to their house, the big locks and the right chains had not vanished.
With a downtrodden face, I was about to walk away when a sweet smell lingered through the air, draping itself in the air like a blanket.
I turn around to see a bouquet of lilies on the doorstep, a bouquet that was not there earlier. With shaky hands, I pick it up.
A note attached to it says: I will always be with you, my little princess.
My gaze lands again on their doorstep searching for the vase I had dropped in the morning. But I found no traces of it. It felt like they were never there. But the thing is, I knew they were.
And Issac's words linger in my mind, "Then, I will have to protect my little princess forever, right?"
His dark hair, his smiling face forms in my mind like an injected tattoo.
I stand there with only one thought flowing endlessly in my thoughts, an inescapable thought.
WHAT DOES FOREVER MEAN TO HIM?
THE FEELING OF BEING WATCHED
I wave a hand at Mia with a bright smile on my face as I turn to walk away on my way.
On the first day of college I stumbled on Mia and we instantly bonded. She is totally unique from any friends I ever had. She doesn't mind my exhausting silence at times. And she hears me out. Always. Whenever I need someone. I don't think I have had someone like that since...
Never mind. That was ten years ago. That is a past I no longer associate myself with.
The streets are filled with overflowing college students but I silently walk my way through to my apartment.
It is a small apartment, not the majestic kind. I could have just stayed in the college, and not bother renting a place and coming all the way over and go again the first thing in the morning. But I like my freedom.
Until freedom didn't feel so liberating.
As I walk through the dark hallway, I feel a shiver going down my spine.
The weight of being watched.
I swip around to only see the blackness of the night sky.
I clutch my apartment keys tight between my fingers, pacing as fast as I can to my apartment.
As I close the door behind, I release a breath of relief.
Exhausted from the long day full of classes, I kick off my shoes and toss my bag over on the sofa. I walk to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.
And suddenly my phone rings through the dead silence, getting a shriek out of me.
Thank God I didn't drop the glass from my hands otherwise it would be a mess to clean up.
I head over to the living room to grab my phone.
Oh, it's mum. Face-timing me.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Sweetie!
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
How are you?
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
How was college?
Lilian Winslet
Mum, I am good and college is awesome.
Lilian Winslet
I even made a friend.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Within one week?
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
That's something.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Oh, are you done decorating your apartment?
That reminds me of the pending decorations I have and my eyes sweep around the room.
Lilian Winslet
Well, little bits left here and there.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Show me!
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
I can't wait to go over but you know... Busy with work. I will visit, don't worry.
Lilian Winslet
It's fine, mum. You also have a life.
Lilian Winslet
Anyway, let me show you.
I switch over the camera to show her the rooms. There's not many though. One bedroom, the kitchen, the living room, the washroom and the balcony.
Lilian Winslet
Wait, hold on.
Lilian Winslet
I need to show you this.
I flip over on my bed and show her my most valued possession. My bookshelf!
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
OH. MY GOD.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
That is gorgeous.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Congratulations!
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
You finally have your dream bookshelf.
Lilian Winslet
Though it's going to be a menace to carry over when I get placed.
I can't help smiling because as I take in the view of my bookshelf I see the little girl who always dreamt of nothing but a big bookshelf stocked up with books.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Oh, don't you worry about that.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
We will manage.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Now, have some rest. I will hang up now.
Mrs Winslet (FL mom)
Bye, darling.
Lilian Winslet
Bye, mum. Talk to you tomorrow.
She blows me a kiss through the screen and I do the same before pressing the red button.
I go over to the kitchen to finally have my glass of water.
Something in the feels different.
I put down my glass and take a quick scan of my apartment. Nothing. Everything's the same as it has been.
My bag on the couch, my phone laying over on the centre table, my shoes tossed around, the bedroom door slightly open as I had opened it just now. Everything is as it should be.
I take up the glass, sipping water as I slouch down on my bed scanning my bookshelf for my next read.
The shiver down my spine.
My eyes land on the lowest bookshelf, one which has wrapped itself in dust.
Lilian Winslet
Where is my book?
Maybe I forgot. Maybe I placed it somewhere else.
I find myself asking because I always remember to put my things back in place.
I always remember to put my books back into place.
I stand up upright, my eyes sweeping across my whole room. A wind flows in through the open window and my eyes land on my desk.
My eyes open wide, half in horror, half in disbelief.
My childhood book, my favourite is wide open right there on my desk.
My steps are shaky as I reach over.
The book is open on its last page. With silent eyes I read the page and as it ends I see something which isn't supposed to be there. Which wasn't there. EVER.
With a dark shade of red are the words written: FOREVER, MY LITTLE PRINCESS.
Lilian Winslet
No! This is crazy.
Lilian Winslet
I was lending this book all over the place, to everyone.
Lilian Winslet
Someone must have written it and as I almost completely forgot the existence of this book, this slipped out of my mind.
I try my most convincing words yet that night I find myself triple-checking my door and bolting the windows.
I am just tried. It has been a long day today. Yes, that's it. I just need some goddamn sleep.
Before I switch off the bedroom light I see the silhouette of a person across the street, staring right at my room.
I rub my eyes, entirely convinced my mind is playing dirty tricks on me. When I open my eyes, the silhouette is gone.
See? There's nothing there. Go to sleep, Lilian. Just go to sleep.
I slip into my duvet, shut my eyes and try to drift off. But something tells me this isn't paranoia.
THE UNSEEN HANDS
The morning sunshine falls through my window waking me up. The sun is up and ready for the day's work.
I hide from the sunlight for a few more minutes under the duvet before throwing it off. I put on my slippers and throw my hair into a messy bun.
Lilian Winslet
Time to get working and no time to spare.
Lilian Winslet
First things first. Tidy up the bed first.
I snatch the duvet from the bed, fold it neatly. Then I even out the bedsheets and put the pillows in place. I finish it by throwing the duvet over.
Lilian Winslet
Now, breakfast.
Lilian Winslet
Making food is always a menace.
Lilian Winslet
Guess I will just make some scrambled eggs with toast. And a cup of coffee, perhaps.
Lilian Winslet
That ought to make up for yesterday's missed dinner.
Then it suddenly slams into me.
My eyes instantly go to my study table. The only stuff there is my neatly stacked books and copies with a pen stand.
I cross-check my bookshelf to see the book standing there. Exactly where it should be, even after all this time.
See? It was all just a dream. All just a bad dream.
Maybe mum was right after all. Maybe I should take a break from the thriller and psychological thrillers. I need to change genres for sometime. Yeah, I will buy myself some romcoms.
That's the thing about novels. You never know when they become your alternate reality and when both realities start mixing up.
Lilian Winslet
So, what do I need?
I stand by the open fridge, scanning it.
Lilian Winslet
Two eggs, four pieces of bread. And milk.
I grab them all clumsily and push the fridge door shut.
I turn the stove on and reach for the frying pan. I put the bread into the toaster and turn it on.
Spraying some oil, I prepare my scrambled eggs. Then I get on with my coffee. Yeah, I am a bit abnormal with that. I don't get an upset stomach even if I have eggs and milk together.
Just on cue, my toast is done. I plate them all up nicely and take them to the dining table.
Lilian Winslet
Thank you for the food. Let's dig it!
After finishing breakfast as I was putting the plates and cup into the sink my mind has already wandered to what outfit I should wear today.
I walk over to my bedroom and throw open my closet.
My eyes scan it with great focus. Long dresses, shorts, t-shirts, pants...
I pull out one pair of my jeans and pair it with a black top. And to withstand the cold AC air, I take out the black leather jacket.
I decide to close the curtains in case some perverted creep is peeping over.
As my hands reach over to pull the curtains my eyes fall on the muddy imprint by the windowsill.
My eyes squint trying to focus on the shape of the imprint, figuring out exactly what it is.
And when I do my mind goes blank in disbelief. Because it can't be.
I rub my eyes, hoping again it would be a trick of the eyes.
Lilian Winslet
No... This isn't real.
Lilian Winslet
Yesterday wasn't.
Lilian Winslet
How can this be..?
My voice is a whisper in fear someone might hear. Someone whose presence I am unaware of.
Because the imprint is a handprint. HANDS!
Yesterday, the book... It wasn't a dream?
My body goes limp with fear.
Just then the doorbell ripples through the house. My mind takes its time to register that.
And when it finally does, my body doesn't co-operate enough for me to go over and answer it.
The doorbell rings again as if getting impatient. I force my legs to walk before all this makes me lose my sanity.
I call out standing in the doorway.
Lilian Winslet
Damn! These thrillers are turning my life into one goddamn thriller itself!
I curse out. I muster all my courage and my lips won't stop praying as I open up the door.
A moment doesn't spare after I open the door that the fragrance of lilies fill in the air. My eyes take in the whole view of the bright red lilies lying on top of a brown packaged box.
My eyes search for the delivery person but no one is there. Maybe they left.
I pick up the bouquet, taking in the fragrance of the lovely flowers.
Maybe this package isn't part of the horror scene.
I pick up the package and it's astonishingly lightweight. I carry it over to the living room and place it down on the centre table.
I bring a cutter before sinking down into the sofa.
I cut the packaging with anticipation. It would be a lie to say the horror of what I just witnessed a few moments has vanished. It still lingers.
Lilian Winslet
Now, now. What might it be?
I catch a glimpse of the package which reads: NO RETURN ADDRESS.
Lilian Winslet
No return address? That's weird.
I feel the horrifying feeling settling back in and my hands going shaky.
But I still open the package. I need to.
And what the package holds takes me back through time to my childhood.
It's my childhood doll. My princess doll. My favourite.
One I remember losing and crying till my tears dried up and my body so exhausted that it went to sleep.
I never got it back. I never found it. We searched everywhere but all traces of it had disappeared.
Lilian Winslet
Who found it?
I pick it up not wanting to disperse those fond childhood memories but the horror is also covering me like a second skin.
Lilian Winslet
If mom sent it, why no return address?
I put it back, and package it back again, this time tighter than how it arrived.
I pick up the lilies to put them into a vase. I don't want them to dry up.
Just then a note falls down from it.
Lilian Winslet
What's that?
I pick it up and my eyes silently read the words.
There was only one who called me that.
I am no longer the little girl I was ten years ago.
No longer that chubby little girl with fluffy cheeks and chocolate hair.
No one recognises me. No one can. I made sure of that.
I play these words in my mind but my heart won't stop pounding.
The feeling of being watched.
I try to dismiss it but the thought lingers on.
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