Lyla

You'd think not having a wolf is the worst thing that can happen to anyone, a cruel game played by the moon goddess that marks you as different, weak and unwanted … because it is a constant reminder that you're incomplete.

But, have you tried enduring an endless, intense monthly heat cycle – a nightmare that begins when my body betrays me every month, turning me into a walking beacon of arousal – Try putting yourself in my shoes every month when my body would scream for a mate that doesn't exist, with a scent so thick and sweet that it makes everyone around me turn their heads in disgust – except the humans who think I look really beautiful at that time.

My monthly heat cycle wasn't just unbearable, it was a curse that earned me a welldeserved title of a 'Wolfless deviant'.

 Do you know what is worse? My parents… the very people who should care, protect and guide me – have cut ties with me and they look at me like I was a stain on their perfect family portrait – a punishment, a defect they can't erase. A deviant they wish they could forget.

So, if you think you're going through the worst of luck … try living with this fire burning brightly inside you: alone, unloved, unwanted and a walking embarrassment. Then maybe, just maybe, I might listen to your complaints.

But until then… My name is Lyla Woodland – the first-born daughter of Alpha Logan Woodland and Luna Vanessa Woodland of Blue Ridge Pack and this is my reality.

Every. Single. Month

***

I jolt awake, my body is drenched in sweat, with the sheets on my bed tangled around my legs like vines. A familiar fire coursed through my veins, pooling sweetly at the lower part of my abdomen. I felt my woman core clench and release, sending courses of oxytocin all over my body and I knew instantly what was happening…

My heat, again!

I lay there, gasping for breath as frustration and helplessness – emotions I was familiar with tease at the edge of my already frayed sanity.

"Not again," I muttered, staring up at the ceiling. At only 19, I've suffered 3 years of being abandoned by my family and I should be used to it but on days like this, I miss them.

Another wave of desire surged through me, making me moan – unable to stop myself.

"No, no, no," I muttered, stumbling out of bed. "Not now, please, not now."

But my body didn't listen, it never does. I stumbled into the bathroom and caught a reflection of myself in the mirror, barely recognizing the girl staring back at me. Wild, dishevelled hair, framed a face with flushed cheeks – a stark contrast to the composed, controlled, daughter of an Alpha was supposed to be.

But this is what I always become during my heat – a creature of want and desire.

"I'm not really a werewolf, am I?" I whispered to my reflection, failing at an attempt to make a joke out of my situation. "Not without my wolf."

"Lyla!" My nanny's voice, sharp and patient cut through my haze of thoughts. "You'll be late for school. Again."

\~\~\~

The walk to school was torture… every time a man or a woman passed me, I would feel a strong urge to run after the person and demand they touch me inappropriately. By the time I arrived at school, I was a mess.

My underwear was soaked and my warm juices were flowing down my thighs, sipping into my socks. I could feel eyes on me as I hurried through the corridors. Some humans turned to stare and I know they were confused by their sudden attraction to the school weirdo,

The few werewolves I passed, wrinkled their noses in disgust. They knew what was happening to me.

The walk to my locker felt like a trek to the White Mountains. I could feel my pheromones seeping into the air, the scent of my heat thick and sweet, impossible to mask. I finally reached my locker and tried to remember the classes I had this morning.

When suddenly, someone slammed the door of my locker, almost missing me by a hair's breadth. When I looked up, it was Marissa – my tormentor and her friends. She was a gamma's daughter but from another pack.

I ignored her and opened my locker again but she slammed it back, forcing me to stare at her.

"I thought you'd have the decency to stay home when you're like this. You never learn, do you?" Marissa sneered. "Are you hoping someone will put you out of your misery?" she added with a cruel laugh. "Maybe you think parading around like this, would make some poor idiot take pity on you, is that it?"

"I don't want trouble, Marissa," I said quietly, my gaze fixed on the ground, my cheeks burning with humiliation. "I just want to get through today's test and be on my way home."

"And have us endure the entire day soaking in this nasty smell of yours? Who do you think you are, Lyla?" she came closer to me, her eyes flashing with anger "Have you forgotten who calls the shots in this school?"

I didn't answer her, I grabbed a random textbook from my locker, closed the door and started walking away quickening my pace, but the snickering followed me, growing louder as I tried to escape.

I finally made it to the end of the hallway and had successfully opened the door when without warning, a cold splash hit me from above.

Someone had hung a bucket of ice on the door. I gasped as icy water and ice drenched me. Behind me, the hallway erupted into laughter as everyone brought out their phones filming. I whipped around to see Marissa and her minions standing in a corner with satisfied smiles on their faces.

"What?" Marisa shrugged, feigning innocence. "I thought you might need cooling off… a lot is going on within you, right?"

I stood there, dripping wet and mortified. The heat inside me, clashed violently with the chill of the water, my clothes sticking to my skin. My vision blurred with tears I refused to let fall. I wanted to scream, to lash out but all I could do was stand there, frozen in place, wishing I could disappear.

Marissa came to me again, her nose wrinkling with disgust "I thought all that ice would drown out your stupid scent… but I was wrong, Perhaps, what you need is the strong scent of coffee."

"What did I ever do to you?" my teeth chattered as I asked.

"Existing, Lyla," she responded with a smirk "You never should have been born.".

Then she reached out for a cup of sizzling, hot coffee, and removed the cover. I cringed, taking a step back…I wasn't like other wolves, I didn't heal fast, if I allowed her to pour the hot coffee on me, I'd scald and get burns.

She backed me to the wall, her eyes filled with amusement, just as she raised her hands to empty the liquid on me, a hand reached out and snatched the cup away from her.

The laughter had died down and the air in the hallway seemed tense. When I looked up, my heart pounded as my father, Alpha Logan Woodland, came into view. He snatched the cup from Marissa and threw it inside the recycling bin.

Marissa turned, her bravado faltering when she saw him. "Who the hell do you think you are?" she snapped. She hadn't expected anyone to intervene much less someone like him. "What's it to you?"

My father growled, his eyes flashing with annoyance "I'm her father and I won't tolerate anyone treating my daughter like this."

The other students backed away, fear flickering in their eyes including Marissa whose eyes widened with surprise.

"Touch her again and I promise you, there'll be consequences," My dad warned, his gaze sweeping over the crowd. "I don't care who your parents are or what pack you belong to. This ends now!"

For a moment, gratitude surged through my heart and I clung to it. This was the first time in three years I had seen him

. "Dad!" I said tentatively. "What are you doing here?"

My father whipped around; his brows drawn in disgust. "You're a disgrace," he said bluntly "This –" he gestured to my dishevelled appearance and the lingering scent of my heat "– this is exactly why you're an embarrassment to this family. You're so weak that you cannot stand up for yourself."

I flinched, his words cutting deeper than the taunts of my classmates. I thought he was saving me. "I didn't ask for this," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I didn't choose to be like this."

"I guess the feeling is mutual," he hissed "I wish I never had a daughter like you."

The crowd had dispersed now, at least the humans had – just a few werewolves, lingered. My father tossed a white envelope at me, his gaze narrowed in disappointment.

"Tonight is the annual Werewolf Pairing Gala and you will attend," he said, his tone brooking no argument. "Invitation came from the Lycan Leader himself and since your sister isn't of age, you will represent us. You will behave yourself, keep your head down and try not to embarrass me further."

"Tonight? I whispered. "Dad, please. I can't. Not like this."

"Then should we disobey the Lycan Leader because of you?" he snapped. "Prepare yourself, we leave in two hours."

Lyla

I stood at the foot of the grand stone steps, my heart hammering against my ribs. The pack house loomed over me like a fortress, its cold walls whispering memories of a life I had been cast off from.

I couldn't believe three years had passed since that fateful night when my parents had sent me away in the dead of the night. I had felt like a thief, banished without explanation or warning and nothing but a thousand dollars, clutching a single bag that was my clothes forcing me to vow never to return.

But now I was back. I swallowed the knot in my throat, steeling myself. I didn't want to come, but my father's command was not a request. The annual werewolf gala was tonight and I was to attend.

I had no choice. Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the heavy oak door, and the rush of familiar scents filled my lungs, bringing with it a flood of childhood memories both painful and good.

I had barely closed the door when my mother's voice reached me. "You're late," she hissed, her eyes narrowing as she took in my appearance. Her sharp eyes flicked over me as if she was inspecting something unpleasant on the bottom of her shoe. Beside her, my sister, Clarissa, gazed at me with a look that was somewhere between pity and disdain. "I see you still haven't learned to control yourself during your heat," Clarissa scoffed.

"Father, it's not a good idea for her to go like this. She reeks…". "You think if we had a choice, I would have driven four hours to go and get her," My father hissed "The invitation had stated that every family must send a representative that is 18 and above and ripe for mating.

I had no choice. She was never an option, to begin with." I flinched. "I'm sorry," I began but my mother cut me off with a sharp gesture. "Save it," she snapped "We've been doing so well without you and we want it to remain that way. Just remember, you're here because we had no other choice.

Don't disgrace us today. If you cause a scene, or so much as draw unwanted attention… we will remove your name from the family register and disown you. Do you understand?" I wanted to tell them that none of this was my fault but I nodded instead, my throat was too tight to speak. The last remnants of any affection my family had for me had vanished a long time ago buried under shame and disgust. I had never been enough for them, not without a wolf, not with the monthly humiliation of my uncontrolled heat cycles.

"I understand," I whispered. "Good," my mom said coldly. "Clarissa will lend you something from her wardrobe. You might want to also fix that stupid hair of yours…" She turned to my sister "Give her one of your wigs too

. It's enough that she's emitting pheromones, showing up with two giant silver streaks in her hair will make everyone think she was adopted."

"Okay, Mom," Clarissa nodded and indicated that I follow her. I bit my tongue, feeling the sting of tears behind my eyes but refusing to let them fall. I followed Clarissa, my hands trembling as we went.

An hour later, one of the pack warriors dropped me off in front of the grand ballroom, my father had been too embarrassed to do it. I smoothed my dress and headed towards the ballroom. The sound of laughter, music and clinking glasses grew louder with every step.

The scent of power, strength and pure werewolf dominance filled the air as I reached the entrance and the moment I stepped inside, I felt it – the weight of hundreds of eyes turning in my direction. I felt like a lamb among wolves. I could feel the heat crawling up my neck, my cheeks flushing against my will.

y body betrayed me again and my pheromones spilled into the air announcing my presence like a siren's call. I heard the whispers before I saw the faces. "What's that smell?" everyone turned, their noses wrinkled in disgust. "Is she… in heat?" "No control at all. Disgusting? She should be locked up and not here. Or is she trying to snag a mate with those smelly pheromones?" My fingers dug into my palms, my nails biting into my skin as I willed myself to remain calm. If I just ignore them… everything will be fine.

But then, a sharp voice cut through the murmurs and I saw Cassidy Thorne step forward, a mocking smile on her perfect lips. "I didn't realize they let mutts attend this year," Cassidy drawled loud enough for everyone to hear. Cassidy Thorne – was the epitome of Lycan and Werewolf beauty and elegance. Everyone dreamed their daughters would be like her… there was a time when I wanted to be her so badly.

"I suppose they'll let anyone in these days." Laughter rippled through the crowd and I felt my composure crumbling. Murmuring an apology, I forced myself to look away and moved to a quiet corner of the room, my hands shaking.

I hated how powerless I felt, how my body betrayed me every month turning me into a joke among the very people with whom I should by birthright associate. I pressed my back against the wall, trying to steady my breathing and fight back tears when I felt a strange prickling sensation at the back of my neck.

Something from across the room caught my eye. Across the room, a man stood alone, dressed in black from head to toe, melting perfectly with the shadows. His gaze was fixed on me.

He had amber eyes, that were sharp and piercing like molten gold. He was devastatingly handsome, with chiselled features and an air of quiet strength…but more than that, there was something in his gaze that I couldn't place. For a moment, the noise of the ballroom faded and all I could see was him.

There was something about his eyes that held me captive – curiosity and …something more... My heartbeat quickened, not out of fear but out of a strange, unfamiliar longing. Who was he? Before I could dwell on it, a shadow fell over me. I turned to see a young Alpha, Darius standing in front of me, his lips twisted into a sly grin.

He has taunted me since I was a child and was the first person to spread my wolfless situation when we were 16. All this was because I had rejected the offer to be his girlfriend when we were 12.

He still bore malice against me. "Well, well, if it isn't the Woodland disgrace," Darius sneered. He was with a group of friends, all dressed impeccably with eyes gleaming maliciously. "What's the matter, Lyla? Couldn't find a better place to hide?" My throat tightened and I tried to edge away but Darius moved closer, blocking my path.

His friends closed in on me too, forming a circle around me, all of them wearing identical smirks. "I see you're having a little – heat problem," Darius continued, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "Maybe we could help you with that, hmm?" My pulse raced with fear. I knew that look in his eyes. I tried to step back but Darius grabbed my arm, his fingers digging into my flesh. "Please," I whispered, "Just leave me alone." Darius laughed and held my chin "I see someone is getting feisty here. Have you forgotten your place? How dare a deviant like you speak in my presence!" "Get off me!" I shouted, my voice trembling with both anger and fear. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, mixed with his musky scent. It made me nauseous. "You know," he said reaching to twirl a strand of my hair around his finger "Some might find your condition – intriguing. All that heat, with no way to satisfy it.

I bet you're just dying for someone to help you out, aren't you?" "Don't touch me," I shrieked looking around desperately, but no one was coming to my aid. His hand moved from my hair to my waist, and I felt panic rising in my chest. I tried to pull away but I found myself leaning into his touch, biting off a moan.

My body wanted this… I wished he could run his hands up and down my engorged nips peeking from my dress already…

"Don't act like you don't want it," he whispered "I can smell it on you." His hand covered my bosom, roughly squeezing it, drawing another illicit moan from me.

"Please," I breathed, barely able to keep my voice steady. "Let me go." Darius's grin widened but before he could say another word, a low dangerous growl cut through the air, freezing everyone in place