Allina POV

I was born in a broken family, my father who loves me so much had an accident and died, I watch my mom cry every night after my dad dies.

I was just a simpler minded kid back then, I watch my mom fall into depression as I grow up, I bow to make my mom happy I did everything from having a high grade to working just to buy mom everything she likes, but why is it never enough.

Why are you looking at me like that mom as if you had nothing to live, I just want to see mom smile again why is it so hard, but it's better than living alone right?.

That's what I thought but when I was 17 years old after walking back home after buying a cake for myself, it's my birthday I want to spend it with mom I like hearing him say happy birthday to me, because it's the only day I will ever hear him speak to me.

Even if it's just a simple greeting I have always liked, it's enough as long as I hear mom's voice I'm already content.

After returning home I immediately search for mom around the house eager to hear him greeting me happy birthday but what I saw in her room had made my life scramble.

Why just why? I did everything to just made my mom happy, I don't care even if she doesn't talk to me, even if she doesn't leave the house or do anything just having her presence was enough why would God doesn't even allow that, just what sin did I committed that even my mom was taken from me, I just want to hear her voice today am I too greedy? What's wrong with me? Am I too unlikable why would everyone want to leave me, what should I do with my life now, my parents leave me, it's all my fault?

I cry all night the birthday cake forgotten as I hug my mother's dead body all day.

Since that day I had no will to live I even thought to just end it all but during my attempt to jump off the building someone saved me, I felt a warm arm embrace me.

Looking at her worried expression makes my heart beat, why is he worried, I'm just a misfortune, he should stay away from me, that's what my thoughts but since then I have always found myself looking at Richard, admiring her or just simply looking at her.

I found a will to live maybe it was love at first sight but I don't care I want to be better to be someone deserving of her, so I study harder acing every exam and finally landed a full scholarship on a prestigious college he was also attending.

And after a year of pursuing him he finally liked me back and immediately suggested a marriage I was happy I felt like the luckiest woman in the world without hesitation I agreed, I can finally experience being Love!

Allina POV

I always thought marrying Richard will be the best decision I made, but I was wrong.

At first, he was sweet always taking care of me and I love every moment of it.

He's always there for me, comforting me doting on me and always bring me gifts, it was the happiest moment in my life.

I think this will never change, he lovesd me hell never change that's what I always say in my thoughts.

Until she appeared Cristal she's Richard's childhood friend she's the kindest and sweetest and when I meet her she alway call me big sister and acts coquettish, I found her adorable, so i treat her like my younger siblings since I didn't have one.

But overtime I notice how my marriage slowly turns cold, no matter how I cling to Richard he always seems busy I just thought it must be because of work.

But one night one of Richard friend called me and ask me to come a bar I was confused but do what he said and when I got there my heart shattered into a million pieces I saw Richard kissing Cristal, tears fall down my cheeks, I opened my mom to speak but no voice come out only I choked sound.

I run away from that place without thinking, I come back home and lock myself in my room crying all night.

The next morning Richard came home and handed me a divorce paper "**sign it**" he said commandingly not giving me a choice

If divorce can give me a piece I'll willingly do it, I sign the divorce paper and leave the house.

I feel like every steps I take was a stab in my heart but I don't care anymore, I'm tired of this why does everyone leave me, what's wrong with me, am I unlikable.

Why am I so pathetic I hate myself for always running away from my problem, I'm always like this a coward, would rather choose death that to face my pain.

I boarded a bus and went to my hometown, I wish this could help me have some peace, and it's also the only place I can be truly alone , no one can disturb me even if I cry my heart out.

I enter the house looking at the surroundings and bring back painful memories I buried deep inside me I broke down crying, I can't help it I'm not strong like *you*, it's so easy to make me cry and I'm emotionally broken.

I cry all night pouring my heart out until I fall asleep, it was raining heavily as if the rain was sympathizing with me and every thunder bring me a strangely comfort, I had always love the rain because no one can hear me cry because of it every strong thunder represent my resentment but just like how the thunder was loud but doesn't strike I'm also like that, I had a strong resentment but I'm too much of a coward to fight back I hate myself, why am I this pathetic?.

Allina POV

I don't know how many hours have passed, but I just found myself laying on the floor I must have fallen asleep here while crying last night.

I stand up and immediately take a shower to cool down, after I'm done I rummage through my closet and choose a simple white dress before I went to the kitchen, I actually doesn't have any appetite I feel like not eating.

But I should still eat even just a little in the end no matter how depressed you are you should still take care of yourself and not punish yourself by starving or self harm.

I admit I had thought of doing those things countless times, human emotion is fragile no matter how strong you act, you know in yourself how fragile you are, when problems occur or if you feel so much pressure you might think or doing those things, I'm just like you.

After I finished eating some bread and drinking a glass of milk, I decided to busy myself by cleaning the house, My grandma's house was not that small it had 4 room's and second floor.

Now that I remember I haven't introduced my grandma yet, when I'm 17 and mom died my grandma found out and take me with her, grandma was my father's mother, I admit she was strict and perfectionist, but it's fine at least I have someone by my side...I'm afraid to be alone.

I live with my grandma till I'm 20 and during that time I had always pursue Richard, I just move out of my grandma's house when Richard and I decided to marry.

it's been 8 years since then and my grandma died when I was 26, now I finally come back to this house.

I started cleaning the first floor before I went to the second floor, after cleaning every room, there's one more room left, it's my grandma personal room she doesn't want me to go there and one time I got caught trying to sneak in she lock me in my room for week and till now I'm still afraid to went inside her room..

"snap out of it Lina grandma is already dead who would scold you beside her room also needs cleaning" after calming myself I open the door and look around everything is normal and neat well it's expected since she's a perfectionist.

I started cleaning the room but because of my clumsiness I tripped on nothing how stupid, I stand up but bump my head on the nearby table causing a book to fell over my head "ouch" I hiss rubbing my head I pick up the book and stand up, I looked the the book and I hand and curiously open it, it's my grandma's diary....but why is it empty there's no words there only a strange symbol was written "সূৰ্য্যটো উজ্জ্বল আছিল অহহ পোহৰৰ শক্তি, মোৰ পথলৈ মোক গাইড কৰিবলৈ অনুগ্ৰহ কৰি খুলি দিয়ক"

I looked at the word's what does the meaning of it I'm really curious, I continue looking at the strange symbols, I sigh and close it what the use of looking at it when I can't even understand it I was about to put the book back to the table when something sharp prick my finger, I hiss immediately sucking the finger that got prick, I looked at the book glaring at it before I noticed something strange I open it and I can actually understand the words written on it, it's Assamese, I immediately read it "the sun was bright oh power of the light, please open it up to guide me to my path" the house suddenly shake and the big mirror on my grandma's cabinet emit a blinding light and I don't knowing what happened next since I passed out