My family is never love then

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My dad was harder working my mom is housekeeping Everybody dreams of a happy family. I’m lucky because I had been part of one. Growing up in a perfect family was the best! I can clearly remember how my mom and dad took great care of me and my sisters. Every morning my mom would prepare everything for me, from school uniform, shoes, bag, packed lunch, everything. My mom knows what I need before I even think about it. When I’m all set, my dad would drive me to school even if my school was just one block away from our house. Also, they gave me and my sisters the things that we need and most of the things that we want. They took us to exciting adventures out of town too! Undoubtedly, they were awesome parents. I couldn’t have wished for anything more.

Just a little bit of a background about our family, my dad was kind of a businessman and my mom was a dedicated housewife. My dad inherited many properties from our ancestors which became our main source of income. The properties were developed into a farm, a mini-subdivision, and a small building for rent. The others left were sold. Everything in our family was going great until things started to spiral down.

It was during my college years when my family experienced what I like to call “The Great Decline.” My dad’s business started to fail. It eventually came to a point where the business isn’t generating income anymore. Our family struggled financially. But we were strong and we fought. That’s when we, as a family, decided that my dad needs to go work abroad in order for us to make ends meet. It was a difficult decision, and deeply saddening as well. I have spent all eighteen years of my life with my dad. I bond with him every day. We were best buddies, partners in crime, and we share a lot of happy memories together. The thought of not seeing him for a long time is truly overwhelming and depressing. The situation, no matter how heartbreaking, was something I had no choice but to accept.

Before my dad left for abroad, we made a promise to each other that we will be fixing the issues in our family. We promised that no one will give up and we’ll keep on fighting. The promises we made fueled me with motivation to study hard and make him proud. Even though he’s thousands of miles away from us, I know we’re both working hard to fulfill the promises we made. This is the part where we bounce back, I told myself.

I thought things were going to be great again but soon it dawned on me it was not the case. Problems continued to appear. Somehow, my dad seemed to have lost his fire. Until one day he just neglected his responsibilities as a father. He broke the promises that we made. He gave up on us and left us in the middle of nowhere. I came to realize that the happy family we have before is nothing but an old memory.

I hated my dad. After making all those shitty promises and making me believe there is still hope, he just betrayed me. Because of the things that he did, I changed as a person.

Because my heart was filled with anger, I became internally aggressive. My mind was constantly occupied by hateful and dark thoughts. There were times I just wanted to punch somebody in the face for no reason.

Because I was betrayed by my own father, I became pessimistic. I always see the bad side of things and I made it a rule not to trust anyone but myself. My pessimism made me wish I just die.

Because of the fear of being hurt again, I became selfish. I always prioritized myself first and showed minimal to totally no regard for others.

For the past three years, I was living on the dark side. It was the most dreadful years of my life. Fortunately, the rest of my family managed to thrive. With incremental steps, we learned how to handle things without Daddy. My mom started to work. While studying, my sister and I worked too for the family. And thankfully, as things got better, I slowly recovered.

Until this day, I haven’t completely forgiven my dad. I still have tendencies of going back to the dark side. I believe that the solution to this is to finally cut loose the rope that’s holding me back. I need to forget ‘what was’ and accept ‘what is’, and finally, forgive. It’s not easy, and I don’t know how long it may take, but acceptance and forgiveness are the keys to peace of mind. However difficult, I’ll have to take things one step at a time.

Forget ‘what was’ and accept ‘what is’, and finally, forgive.

Honestly, I’m still hoping that someday our family can be complete again, to rid me of the feeling of emptiness. I guess that’s what a broken family does to you; it leaves a huge hole in your heart, like a void forever waiting to be filled. It’s painful to think that I’ve been once part of a happy and perfect family. Funny, now I’m thinking it was all just a dream.

How did this article make you feel?

Do you have a similar experience?

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