One more year passed by

Still stuck on the same pace

Fighting against myself.

Now it feels like being comfortable with it

Want to out from it. But don't know how....to do it.

Feels like being choked from thoughts

Deep down inside dead..

Darkness of my room feels like heaven but outside sunshine feels like burning in the fire of the hell.

Fingers pointing towards me like a knife with the same sharpe smile..

Feels like next moment is the last one

Goodbyes never meant to be good and bye

Sometimes want to runaway from whomm..to myself or to my thoughts..

Failed once again from the past to the present but not with the future in hope for a better smile..

Wanted to end things but stuck with the same pace and same smile....

How i feel today no idea its just want to cry loud but no one can hear it. Want to blame but don't know who to maybe mee.. Right now just want to runaway. From everybody to their where no one know about me. Want to live but don't know how to. Cause am a bloody loser who still don't know how to leave a place where you feel like your trapping in a place called... Still want to be loved still want to be happy. Seeing no hope for tomorrow but hoping everything will be ohk one day..

Wasting everyday by doing nothing just like am eating a candy.. But whats the worst part of it no one values you. Respect that word comes with lots of money when you earn it the people around you give it. But i don't even have that.

I can't even say that am stuck in a situation like 6 years not a joke nh but nothing is happening good. Everything becoming even worst just like their word for me like should i just die that will gonna be a good option.. For everybody but i can't even do that cause i don't want to end this. I want to live....and be happy and want to be loved just like how other do.. Can't i have those simple things... Idon't even know how to write and how to say am just worst at everything just like they say not even good at anything..I've seen everyone family friends everyone no one knows..

They just

Right now i want to say lots of things but don't even know how to..but this is all i can say .....

Hello everyone

This is Yuni.. you can also called me amateur in this writing journey. Who started writing today with lots of thoughts and imagination.

I hope i meet your expectations a little bit

If I don't then please don't get mad but suggest me what should i need to improve in it.

With my broken english i'll try my best to put my words to your heart..

Thankyou for your precious time..

So see you soon.

What kind of mindset i have.

No Idea!!

You were thinking why i am saying all these things. Actually i don't have any one to talk. So i started talking to myself. Isn't good nhh.

Rather than asking them for their attention its better not to have anyone.

When people around you consider you as an option in their life its better not to have them....

Probably this kind of lifestyle am having..

In this world full of expectations somewhere happiness buried under the point where money is the only way you can survive.

Just for saying.. belongs from the good family where each and everyone have stable jobs.

I'm the only one has nothing.

Not a place not power.

Just like puppet for them to use it and throw it.

My family includes 4 members. Mother

(Doctor), Father (Businessman), Brother(Doctor).

And there is me with nothing..who don't even know what going to be happen in the next moment..

Leaving everything for now lets move on to the next phase of my life...............

I started living alone two months ago for my inners peace.

...Well don't get confused..I just want to ...

live alone.. Because i just can't eat for free..just kidding..(not always)

The moment i moved out from the family every things cutoff.

Well ofcourse nobody was happy from this decision but how can i let them control my life till i decided to end it.

...How can i just end it without seeing my self happy....

I just want to be happy and this is the only wise i want to complete. But now it seems like fading from me.

You were guessing why i didn't say a single thing about my love. I mean love life..

Well i just don't have anyone or you can say not interested in it..

But my family thinks I'm wh**e i don't know from whom they heard of but no matter how i explain them or try to do it they never believe.

The truth is i was only once in a relationship it was i long distance relationship.

Where things never started with i like you but ended. So basically it was in start secret ends in secret.

I don't even understand myself why i agreed on it.

Let's just move on........

Today is my first day at the part-time job..in the bakery..

Feeling excited and nervous about it.

Because i have to talk to people which i don't really like.. Why...

I don't know also...you were thinking that i'm an introvert person.

...Nope...

I'm an extrovert person who enjoys to be with someone i know not with everyone..

Working in the bakery is quite fun to do. And the most exciting part of it is tasting it hihi...

After working for some time i realised that all you need some sweets in your life when everything around you is bitter..

One day in the work i meet Love..

...No no not my love guys...

You guys nhhh😅 Love is actually my classmate in the college.

Now you're thinking she is the one..Nope. Love is my friend who is quite interesting person who is not easy to be friends with.. and not easy to be approach friend.. You were thinking what i'm saying..

According to the class she is arrogant, egoistic, selfish any many more words you can think about the person. But for me she is very kind and easy going. Eager to do things and the most important she is too funny..if you talk to her once you'll gonna know it why i'm saying it.

But one thing i never understand about her she listens everybody's good,bad things. But not even once i've heard anything from her about what's going on her life. Except i or her other friends her about it. Sometimes it feels like she only tell those things about her which she want us to know it not exact thing.. Overall she is the best person i know or you can say she's the best when it comes to console people like when you have no one to talk the only person you can think of she's the one..

You guys thinking why i know a lot about her. Well we're like the same one she don't know that i know this or think like this..not everybody talks about themselves..

She's like a mirror to me. Reflects what i am really. Not even a bit different

You were thinking how we meet eachother. Well i know her since high school. She didn't know me back then so i also used to think she is unapproachble so i always hesitate to initiates the conversation but one time she helps me in the science compitition

She was a very soft , kind and happy person to talk at the entire compitition. It was like i know her already. That day i know her that side that nor everybody knows it. Just like I'm falling for her. Yes back then i used to like her not as crush but as a person.

We became friends in the college where she has the same major with me.. after spending time with her we became good friends.

..."Not used to but i still do it ...like"...

(Back to present)

Today i meet her again in the bakery.

Love usually came at my backery with SAMU.He is also our friends in the college..

^^^But today was kind of different at the shop a couple was arguing about something. And suddenly samu come inside and asked a water bottle. I asked him what happened why are you so furious. He said he'll tell me later. So that's what happened today at the shop.^^^

(After leaving the shop)

Pu was walking on the street going home. Suddenly she saw a shop that solds lottery tickets. She looked and said should i buy it or not .

If i buy i don't think so i have that kind of luck to win it..😂not to mention my bad luck...

But at last she decided to buy one for her in the name of god(😂).

What attracted her to buy it was she price but it was not the money. The first one will get to go to the Thailand for a week. For a damn whole week...not to mention everything was free.

The living expenses and the food...

She thinks if by any chance she wins it will going to be the best out of best days for her. That why in the hope for travelling she bought it...

You never know what's in your destiny has written for you.

Let's see what is going to be happen in the next chapter.

Thank you for your precious time spending with me and sorry for English mistakes.

So say tuned..

And have a good day...bbyeeeee