A classmate asked me “Have you ever fallen in love?” I didn't answer, more like I couldn't. I don't know if I ever did. Classes finished, I walked on the way home but I just couldn't get this question out of my head. I kept wondering why I couldn't. Was it because I never had or I’m just not familiar with love? When I'm curious about something, I don't go home right away instead I visit the sea close to our place. The sunset there always looked lovely, and most of the time I was the only one who got to admire it. Once again, it’s me who gets to watch it. There aren't people who visit often except me. Such a shame. I looked around, the purplish sky and the bright sunset were beautiful. The sound of waves and birds chirping is so calm. I walked and walked and still couldn't get that question out of my head “Ugh! This is so frustrating! It doesn't matter if I don't know. It’s not my fault.” but why am I so bothered by it? “Two hours have passed, and I should go back home.” On the way home, I saw a bird lying on the road and it was injured. It was bleeding. I ran to check on it. “Oh, you poor bird, you're bleeding. I should take you home with me. And let’s take you to the vet tomorrow because it’s late hehe.” I took the bird and held it softly. Embracing it with so much care even when no one has held me this way, I always put so much care into everything I do. Is this love? Probably not. It’s just basic human decency.

I just got home. “Is aunt not home yet? All the lights are still off.” I'm hungry it’s late. I should just cook some Instant ramen and head to bed. I need to take this poor bird to the vet tomorrow so it means I should wake up early.

— The following day.

“Hey! Wake up! You’ll be late for school.” is my aunt home already? I can hear her shouting so early in the morning, on a Saturday too! “Oh shoot! It’s already 10:00 am! I still have to go to the vet.” I rushed and went out to take a shower. “Finally, our princess is awake.” My aunt said sarcastically. “Come on pls, it’s a Saturday I don't have class,” I replied. “Right, I forgot I'm sorry,” she stated. “I’ll leave first because I need to take this sick bird to the vet.” I left immediately because I didn’t want to hear her nagging especially when my head hurt from that random question my classmate asked. If I hadn’t run right away after I told her about this bird, she would probably go “Aya! Who told you to bring an injured bird home?” Or “You little girl! How many times have I told not to bring animals home?” I respect my aunt a lot but I can’t help it. I always feel bad when I see poor things needing help. They are probably just waiting for people to help them, only for people to keep passing by. No one cares. Every day is hard for everyone already, they can’t make time for other things anymore. Especially for unimportant matters. But to me, these stray animals matter because they also have a life to live. We all do. Nobody wants to live a life in despair, even me.

“Ah, I will miss you so much little birdie. I want to cry. Seems like I've been attached to you already even though we just met a day ago.” I sobbed, I didn't want to leave him yet. The veterinarian said “This little guy will be fine. Don't worry! It was a nice decision to keep him company when he was sick. Thank you.” Even though they asked me not to worry, I'm still worried! “Ugh, why do I keep acting like this? It’s not like I have time to care about almost everything in the world. I’ll fail this year and repeat if I keep acting like this. I should prioritize my studies first.” but I can't. I don't like studying. It’s not like I hate it, I just don't find it fun. You know when I look like this “☺️” and someone mentions studying, I end up looking like this “😭”.

Stop this drama. I'm gonna head home and study instead. The midterm exams are coming up, I can't afford to fail man. As I walked home, once again I decided to stop by the sea and watch the sunset. As usual, it’s just me and the waves again. All alone, sitting and enjoying my own company. I looked around and saw a guy sitting two meters away from me. I kept looking at him wondering who he was since I don’t see other people often here. He looks kind of familiar. Who is he? I wondered. He looked like he was crying and I felt bad. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but it's best to stay out of trouble. It’s not necessary to be nosy in other people’s life. But I can't help but stay curious! Once he raised his head, I decided to take a glimpse just to see if he was crying and of course to Know who he is. “Wait, what?!” what is going on? It’s the vice president! Of our class? What’s he doing here?” I whispered to myself because I was shocked to see him here knowing that he lives far from here. I thought “Oh well, I should just leave nice and quietly. I can't be seen by him. I don't want to be involved in this.” I stood up fast and walked quietly so he wouldn't notice. “Aya.” omg WHAT WHAT WHAT! He noticed me! NOOOO. “Is that you?” he asked. Well, obviously it’s me. “Ah, hello. I was just passing by.” Man, I wanna leave this place so bad right now. “So, you saw me crying haha. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. You know things at school and home are stressing me out. I can't handle Al—” he replied. “Stop. You don't need to tell me all this hehe. It’s your life. You don't need to explain and all. It’s okay to cry :D.” Yes. It’s okay. I should leave now. I turned around silently to get back home. I can’t stand the awkwardness. What is this feeling? Even though he’s laughing, his tone still sounds sad. I feel bad, I can’t leave just yet. “Thanks Aya. It means a lot,” he stated as I was about to leave. I didn't even say much but he’s thanking me for having basic human decency. “Haha. No worries! It's nothing. I should go now, my aunt is probably looking for me. It’s getting late! Bye-bye.” I hoped that sounded sincere and not awkward. “You’re right. It's getting late, you should head home.” He said with a smile. “Are you okay with going alone?” he asked. I just replied “Of course, I'm used to it. I always walk home late and alone.” I’ve been saying that I should head home for the past five minutes but I’m still here talking to him (😓) “okay, bye. Take care on the way and see you on Monday.” Why does he talk so casually like we’re close or something. It’s bothering me. “Bye-bye.” I ran. I can’t even count how many times we said bye to each other. Feels like we got close after this or maybe not.

— Monday

I woke up early today because it’s Monday. And Monday is my least favorite day of the week. I feel cold, I forgot to close the window last night, think I'm gonna be sick. Ugh! I’m on my way to school, I decided to ride my bike instead of walking because I don't feel well.

The class bell rings*

AHH I gotta run, can't afford to be late! I don't like being punished. Do people really think twenty squats is easy? It’s not! I can’t believe that there are people who think this is easy like !? Whatever at least I got here on time. Oh, is that the class vice president? NO NO NO. I'm not running into him today, not today. After that awkward conversation, we had at the beach there's no way I would want to run into him. Finally, I’m in the classroom already and our seats are far from each other hehe. I can calm down now. Why does it feel like he’s looking at my direction? Wait, it’s not my direction! It’s me! He’s actually looking at me. Now what? Why is he standing? And walking towards me? NOOOO! okay calm down! I need to calm myself down. No need to get all worked up just because he wants to interact with me. It’s just gonna be a normal conversation between classmates. Yea it will.

Haruki went to Aya with that sunshine looking smile of his. He was well known at school, good at academics, friendly, and very attractive. He has brown eyes and hair, fair skin, and a nice smile. Most of the time He caught everyone’s attention. This is mostly the reason why Aya avoids him a lot. Because she doesn’t want to be the center of attention. You know when someone is noticeable and you hang out with them, it’s obvious that other people would notice you too.

— Their conversation

Haruki : Good morning Aya :D

Aya : hi! Good morning

Haruki : You don’t look well, you’re very pale. Are you okay?

Aya : Yes I am. I caught a cold because I forgot to close the window last night. I fell asleep when I was studying. I was studying math too! I could not understand a thing HAHAHA.

Haruki : HAHAHA. I can teach you if you want. Maybe when you get better?

Aya : No it’s okay. I know you’re busy. Being part of the student council and all. I can try reading books when I get better. All I need to do is drink some medicine and get some sleep and I’ll be better in no time. This cold is nothing. I’m strong!

Haruki : hehe, that’s cute. I hope you get well fast. I will keep you in my prayers.

Aya : t-t-thanks.

Haruki : No worries. I also want to thank you for uh you know. At the beach, Thank you for staying with me.

Aya : Ah, it was my pleasure. You should go back now, the teacher’s here.

Haruki : Okay. Talk to you later. Ba bye :D

What? He thought I was cute? Or maybe what I said was cute? What was cute about that? This guy, he’s making me confused. Seems like we are talking casually now. Maybe our relationship has upgraded. I think. Is this how friends are? Maybe we are friends now.