Let me describe myself first.I considered myself average when it comes to face. I have tiny moles on my face. I have fair skin, my face is round, my cheeks are round. My height is exactly 5 feet my weight? lets not talk about that My body? well yes, Im Chubby but Men can't get enough of me.I am Esrin.

In HighSchool, I was bullied because Im Fat they all say Im Ugly. Boys at our class doesn't like me as their dance partner or even their seatmate. They claim that I hug their space. You all know what highschool kids are like, they are like bulls with sharp teeth. Then there's Rina, she bullies me everyday but I think she is like that to me I excel at my subjects and she doesn't sooo overrated. Rina, Rina , Rina a person molded from a clay of insecurities. She always say this to me.....

Rina(school bully): Hey pig, dont you wanna eat my lunch? Its fried pork---- wait that cannibalism! hahahaha

Thats all I hear every single day. But one day Earl (Rina's Boyfriend) defended me and thats how they broke up. Little did I know, as time passes by we are together. Rina, on the other hand transfers to another school as she was "defeated" by someone like me.

Earl and I got into a relationship and explored curious things. I had tried simple kissing to kissing with tongue until we had s*x one time. My lady bits felt pain but my body slowly take desire to it. My mind is like floating on warm clouds and my soul went to heaven, I mean I like it, its so pleasurable, wait no let me rephrase that I love it.

My father got angry at me knowing that I got into a relationship at age 15. Someone also tipped him that I visit Earls house on the weekends. Yes, we did have sexual contact at that house. Father followed me one time and confronted us outside. He decided to split us up.

*Father: Leave my daughter alone. She's just young and naive. What if you will do something to her? Impregnate her?! A highschool student like you!

*Earl: No sire. Please I love her.

*Father: No, years will pass by you will move on from this you are both too young for this! Stop this right now!

*Esrin: Dad, stop please so many people are watching.😭

*Father: You choose Esrin "Be with this Guy and forget you have a family or I will drag you out of this and go home?"

At that moment I saw Earl's tears fall. At the same time I saw my Father's piercing eyes. I don't know what to do. Sorry Earl I cannot choose you over Family. So, I left without turning back and looking at him.

My mother cried day and night because of the humiliation I caused, she said as if she was crushed and stabbed to death. As we all know my neighbour's mouth has wings, news fly across from town after another each elderly and adult women calling me a wh*re, sl*t a vixen. I had a bit of embarassment but i never regretted any of it. My mind say that I was right, my mom was just over reacting, my dad is always like that my half-sisters also vnever changed. I became immune to gossips about me to the fact that I don't even care anymore.

Summer vacation came my family planned to meet up with my grandma (father side) they planned to stay at grandma's house for summer vacation and my grandma doesn't like me or my mother at all, she always say that I will grow up just like my mom a homewrecker. That's not true at all my mom married my father 4 years after his wife died. The only reason why grandma doesn't like my mom is that she is a nobody, she's a maid. Enough of that silly story, so way back I said its summer my dad and sisters visited and stayed at grandma's, my mom and I stayed at home. While my mom leaves for work (now she sells clothes at our town) I escaped from home and been roaming around town with my cousin. We go out to eat and have snacks, enjoyed the towns festival, I was so full of joy and laughter. This happened for the whole vacation until I totally forgot about the Earl issue and so did my neighbors.

My father however kept in touch with me so that nothing will happen like that again. He was so strict that I need to persuade and please him every now and then. I wish College life will begin soon so that I can start a brand new life or so I thought?....

Imagine my life being hold on by my dad. He is so strict that he doesn't want me to have boyfriends, go out and shop, hang out with friends. He said he was afraid that I may keep secrets again and always say its all for me. I know whats good or bad. But my dad always insist that Im doing wrong. I was also insulted at home by my sisters, half-sisters I should say and my mom is not always around so yeah this time, I had thirst for freedom, love and attention. This led me to a brand new life.

*Father: Esrin, as you know we don't have any College or Universities here at our town so you will have to enroll on Adrelliana University that is 2 hours away from here. I want you to be successful. I will not be there for you this time so please behave until you graduate.

*H. sister: (whispers) you are free now hihihi do whatever you want. Don't even come back if you want.

My half sister's words entered my brain and made me realize that I will get my freedom that I have always wanted after a few days. I never have been excited my whole life. I can do whatever I want, I can eat whatever I like, date whoever I met. Its like a dream come true.

I got into Adrelliana University and 1 year past I love my life, my school, my friends, my apartment, but something's missing? I know Love life hihi.

Second year of College, too many things to learn and adapt. I was stressed out that I managed to start vices like smoking and alcohol. Soon after I joined a Motorcycle Club then and there I met Migs. He has fair complexion, black hair, a clean trimmed beard and he dresses clean. I like him until one day...

*Friend of Migs: Hey, you know my friend Migs noticed you staring at him this whole time and wants to ask you for your number.

I freaked out and blushed as I heard him say that. But my friends insisted and gave my number. That moment on, Migs and I are friends. We texted day and night. Until he invited me to his house. I was hesitant at first but agreed later. Hey, whatcha wanna do sit down and knit while my friends enjoy their dates well hell no. Not that type of goody two shoes anymore.

We talked and talked, laugh and watched movies together 1 whole day then night came. He kissed me softly and caress my body. I was turned on and kissed him back. He grabbed my chest and caress it once more. It went to a romantic night full of pleasure. I want it that feeling , it lingers through my veins. I wanted more. I let him do what he likes to me all night and it was unforgettable.

After 3 weeks of communication. I wanted to see him. I was eager, I remembered that feeling it was Hot, Steaming and I felt enough. So I picked up my phone and called him.

*Phone rings 2x

*Phone rings 6x

*Phone rings 12x

*Phone rings 28x

At 29th call someone answered. It was his cousin.

*Migs cousin: Hello, who is this? Im sorry is this important?

*Esrin: Is Migs around?

*M. cousin: Is this Frolla?

*Esrin: (heart drops) Frolla who? Im his Girlfriend Esrin

*M. cousin: Ow sh*t, Im sorry are you the girl he met at Motorcy. club?

*Esrin: (crying) Yes, huhuhu is he there I want to talk to him

*M. cousin: Dear look, I will make it easier for you okay Migs told me to never answer your calls. He is not here anymore.

*Esrin: What do you mean? 😭

*M. cousin: He--- my golly migs! Why do you do this to me! Well he is in Canada right now to visit his Fiancè. He is getting married this week

*Esrin: Okay thanks ( puts down call )

I cried long into the night. I was betrayed and toyed around like a pillow. But my heart speaks of love so I still tried to contact him and he managed to replied on social media saying

" Sorry, I like you but I love my girl I cannot leave her for someone like you , I only tasted what it feels like to have intercourse with someone fat like you". I never replied back neither did I cried cause its all true. I moved on easily by posting pictures on social media. I became friends with men on it too. That all started Freedom, Betrayal and Seeking for affection it ate me all up.

I met a man on social media. We exchanged numbers and it went well. His name is Nick.

Nick is an architect and has a high paying job. He cherish me and gifted me brand new phones, loads, allowance and even payed half my tuition fee. What's more? He is good in bed I told you before I want more pleasure more connection.

I know myself that I can't love someone anymore I was afraid that all of those things will again happen to me. So I promised myself I Esrin, will never be toyed by any man again. They will be the one who will suffer now.

Months had passed and still I kept my Nick .He became obsessed with me, calling me day and night even in between my classes. He wants to monitor every move I make every person I meet, I felt like he had chains on my neck, arms and legs. I never chopped my chains because I need him and I want his. I like the way his hips sway and thrust through me, he was that good that I want to experience more.

My mind and body wanted more, for me he wasn't enough. I became tired of him and his suspicious behavior so I gained more men. For me men are just like dolls I can play with and have sex with.Il I enjoyed my sex life to the point that my grades went down and my Father got angry again. I resolved my father's issue by promising that I will graduate with ease and high grades.

Promises are meant to be broken, my grades still went low and my sex life high. My father got exhausted telling me what to do so he stopped nagging and let me out of his grasp. Telling me...

*Father: Esrin, I had enough of you. Im not angry or whatsoever but please do something for me just graduate for me and your mom that's all I have to give you--education.

*Esrin: Yes, dad and im sorry.

That signal just gave me another starting line to do whatever I like. Well, I didn't change at all. At that time I meet numerous men. Kurt from OJT, Ace a manager at a fast food resto, Jeric from the club, Liam a police trainee, Clark who is an Engineer, John a senior highschooler, Toni a soon to be medtech, Freddie my childhood friend, Gadz a criminology student and Neil who was introduced to me by my friend. Did I mentioned that all of these men obey what I say, do what I like? They also gave me money and mobile phones so I really dont depend that much from my father. I felt like a Goddess I was pampered like a baby and I loved it. I have to hide from Nick so I blocked him from social media and created a lot of account to hide the truth. Well, Im just a girl trying to hide my behavior and remain "loyal" (or so they thought) Yes, I was so good at hiding that it continued to months. I texted them and call each if I have an urge to have sex, I was on peak that I cannot stop it, it felt like an addiction.

I never let any of my men go because I was afraid. Afraid of not being loved by anyone because Im fat. Girls tell me that Im ugly that Nick only kept me because of my big boobs. So, I have to prove them wrong. Well, I wanted attention and got it. These men fill me in and felt like I was too beautiful. Not only that I even got what I wanted--sex. It was smooth sailing year until...

I was on class when...

*Nick: (called 56x)

Texted him : why? whats wrong with you

*Nick: Who the f*ck is Gadz, and Neil?

*Esrin: I donno what your talking about

*Nick: Then why did they tell me they had been sleeping with you? What am I to you?!

*Esrin: So you knew?

*Nick: Shut up. Didn't I tell you I love you Why are you like this

*Esrin: I just can't love anyone. If you like you can leave. Leave me alone and don't ever come back

Part of me knew that I am not that vile of a woman. So I make out with Nick once again and fixed our relationship. He knows that I have other boyfriends besides him. He knows that I had sex with them, but he never let go of me and says he loves me dearly that he cannot live without me. Now that he works hundred miles away from me, I had freedom once again, but this time I came clean and told all my guys my situation.

Kurt, (the one I met at OJT) is one of my favorites wanna know why? His d*ck is so thick that I feel satisfied when he thrust me over and over again plus he's tall, handsome and strong. He is a bit older than me maybe like 10 years or so. He knows I had boyfriends and didn't care at all. He referred us as f*ck buddies.

Ace, (fast food manager), My most handsome boyfriend that even my gay friends want him and my most clingy one. D*ck is average, height is average, skin is fair, gentleness is high, downside? He has a girlfriend. He also agreed that we'll only meet during holidays and sundays.

Jeric from the club, John the senior highschooler and Toni a soon to be medtech left as soon as I came out clean. Never heard of them ever again. I had no regrets on letting these three go because Jeric has small and thin d*ck, John acts like a kid and Toni is a mother's boy. In short they are jerks so hmm.

Gadz and Freddie? I never saw them again. I didn't care, these two a shy type of persons I can't stand them.

Liam the tall, buff and brown guy now a police and Clark the tall, fair handsome guy with a lot of cash (engineer), they also fulfill my desire so I can't loose these two. They gave me money and treat me into malls and dinner dates every girl can dream of. They also know about it now and agreed to meet on specific dates.

Thats it I was left with five men. Nick my main boyfriend, Kurt, Ace, Liam and Clark. I think I need advise now don't you think?......