"Where are you going?" I asked my mom while eating.

She's fixing something. She rarely tidies up.

"Meeting my friends." She looked at me for a moment and then turned her gaze back to the mirror.

"Do you know what day it is today?" I stopped eating and looked at him.

It's my birthday today, and I'm just hoping that she remembers it. My parents have been divorced for a long time; I was only 12 years old back then. Too young to experience and witness my parents' separation.

I keep going back and forth between three houses. I was only 15 years old when I decided to become independent. I have my own condo.

Every time that Monday to Wednesday comes, I go to my mom's house. When Thursday to Saturday comes, I go to Papa's house. On Sunday, I'll just be at home and they'll come to me, to my condo.

It's tiring, isn't it? You don't know how hard it is because you're not from a broken family. It's hard for me. I'm envious of the other kids. Sometimes I also question myself.

'Why do they have a complete family but mine is not?'

'Why are they happy while I'm sad?'

'Why do they no longer need to go back and forth to three houses while I have to just to be with my parents?'

'Why do they all get the attention and love of their parents, while I have to beg for it?'

'Why do they celebrate important days together while I'm alone?'

'Why them? Why not just me?

I have so many questions in my mind that I can't answer.

She took her cellphone out of her bag and checked the time. "July 16." She answered and put the cellphone back in the bag.

"Ah—Right." I gave a short answer and continued eating. What else can I expect?

I didn't notice that tears were welling up in my eyes. I bent down and gently wiped it so she wouldn't notice.

"Is there a problem?" Her surprised question. I just shook my head and raised my head again.

"Okay." I need to leave. Be careful. Especially when you're home alone. Don't open the door if you don't know them, okay? I just nodded. She approached me, kissed my forehead, and then left.

I didn't look at her because I thought I had held back my tears. So it turns out that when you're deeply hurt, no matter how much you try to hold it back, it will just keep flowing. You can't do anything. You'll just have a harder time if you hold it back.

I cried and cried. It's true what they say that you first feel love in your family, but what if I didn't feel that from them? Who will give that to me? A different person?

What I want is just a whole family. Is it that difficult that my parents can't give it to me?

I wiped my tears and straightened myself. I was about to stand up when my cellphone that was lying on the table rang. I took it and looked, the text came from my dad.

"Hello, baby yena. Sorry, huh? Looks like I'll be late coming home. Don't wait for me, take a rest because I know you're tired. Always be careful. I love you so much." I read his text. I thought my tears were over, but not yet. I cried again because of his text. See? No one remembers my birthday. It hurts. I feel like my heart is burning inside. I-I can't breathe. It's always like this, every year. But why can't I get used to it? Why am I still hopeful?

Since they broke up, I haven't been able to celebrate the important days with them. I, I alone celebrate those.

Even with them sometimes in a house so that I can still be alone. Most of the time they are at work. I still have to beg for them to give me time.

I wiped my tears again and fixed myself. I'm tired, I'm so tired of crying. I want to rest. I went up to my room and threw myself on the bed. My eyelids were getting heavy so I closed them and went to sleep.

I woke up because I felt hungry. I went down immediately. As usual, I'm alone again. The light was off so I turned it on and went straight to the kitchen.

I prepared the leftover dishes on the table and started eating. I took my cellphone and checked the time. How many hours until my birthday is over?

I snorted and ate again.

I was surprised when the door opened aggressively and my parents appeared?

How?—Why are they here?

They both quickly ran to me and hugged me.

"Is there a problem?" I asked confused and broke away from the hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Cayena. We make you feel like your alone. We failed as your parents.” Mama said crying.

“Cayenne. We're really sorry. Your not alone okay? You have us. We're always here for you. We love you.” Dad would have hugged me when I pushed him. I don't even feel pity now but anger!

I hate this. I hate this feeling.

"Sorry? Really? I'm alone! Alone! since you broke up! It's hard and very tiring! I always ask myself. Is it all my fault? Should I not be alive? Did you just give birth to me to abandon me? Am I my parents biggest mistake? Do I really deserve to live?” I asked angrily. Tears quickly fell from my eyes.

They couldn't speak and just looked at me.

"You won't answer? What do you think I need the material things that you give me? No! I don't need those! All—All I need is you! All I need is my family! My parents!” I retreated from them.

"Is that difficult? It's a good thing I'm alone, no siblings because I don't want them to feel what I'm feeling now! No child deserves everything! Shouldn't I be the first to experience what they say is love? But why! Why can't I feel that about you?" Mom tried to approach me but I pushed her which caused her to fall down.

“You deserve it!” I screamed. I was surprised when dad slapped me.

“That's too much, cayena!” His opinion.

"Ha! I'm still the one exaggerating? How about the both of you? How about the things you did to me? I just pushed her, didn't I? That's not even enough! You abandoned me! Abandoned!” I ran out of the house. Do I really deserve this? At the same time as I cried, the rain fell.

"Looks like god is on my side today?" I whispered and ran faster. I didn't notice that I was already in the middle of the road.

“CAYENA!” My parents called me. I looked at them and was surprised to see the approaching truck.

"CAYENNE! NO! NO!” The event is fast. They both came to me and made me cry. I'm slowly losing consciousness. "I'm sorry." I whispered before taking a breath.

"Let's divorce." I said seriously to my husband who was sitting in front of me. You can see the surprise on his face and so does the butler behind him.

I'm here in the husband's office-Let's say the male lead in the story.

I have to break up with him to avoid my tragic ending. Who wants to die right?

Divorce, run away, make lots of money and live freely. That's what I want but before that lets have a divorce with the male lead!

My name is Athanasia Jayden Mcknight, 18 years old. The villain in the story. I don't know how that happened. All I remember is that I was run over by a truck while running away from my parents and that was the last day I lived as Cayena Blaire.

I just woke up in another world and only then did I realize that I was inside the book when miya mentioned my name to my maid.

The one in front of me is Kaiden Knox McKnight, 20 years old. The male lead in the story who will eventually fall for the saintess who will be the cause of my death.

Because my character became possessive of Kaiden. He only wants her. When she found out that her husband loved someone else, she did everything to torture the saintess, the female lead in the story. When Kaiden found out about that, he immediately killed his wife. After her death, the two lived happily ever after.

Like what the f*ck? To be honest, when I was still living as a cayena, I didn't like this story. The plot is so ugly! Only pov's of the lead stars are shown! What about my pov? How selfish of a worthless writer! So let's go back to reality.

"What's the matter? If you need money, just say it directly. It's not that you still have money. Butl-" I didn't let him finish speaking because I might hit his face. I knew it would happen so I prepared myself. My patience is so short and then I'm going to waste my time on this f*cking j*rk?

"I don't need your money. What I need is your signature on the divorce paper." I sighed before taking out the divorce paper from my bag that was just by my side. I put it on the table and brought it closer to him. He took it and read it.

I looked at the butler behind him and saw that he was also reading the divorce paper.

"Is this a new tactic to get my attention and love? I'm sorry to inform you but no matter what you do you won't get my love nor my attention. I can't even see you as a woman." He said directly. I laughed at what he said and went back to being serious.

"Oh really? I'm sorry to inform you too but I don't need your money, love, attention nor you. All I want is for you to sign here then we're done. You'll be free and I'll be free too. Let's go in our separate paths and forget each other." I looked again at the butler who was confused by the incident.

We've been married for almost six years so maybe he can't believe it. He was surprised when our eyes met.

"Lady?"

"It looks like we are going to talk for a long time. We are going to talk about a private matter as a 'Married Couple' so you may leave now, butler." In the reaction he showed, he obviously didn't want to leave and wanted to listen, but that wasn't possible.

Even though I look serious now, deep inside I'm shy and nervous.

"Yes? But lady, I still have a lot to tapu-"

"Finish what you're going to do when we're done talking. We need privacy. You know that, right? Your a married man after all."

He is 47 years old and has five children. I looked at my husband and saw that he was just looking at me as if he was still enjoying what was happening.

"Yes, Lady. I'll be right back." He bowed his head and left the room. I sat up and faced him again.

"So let's con-" My eyes widened quickly when I saw him tear up the divorce paper.

What the f*ck? Are you so determined to kill me? We're just going to get a divorce! Is it that hard?!

I combed my hair with my fingers then looked at him intently.

I can't step because miya will surely scold me.

She said it should be feminine.

"No. No divorce will happen. Just talk to me when you're sober." He stood up and turned his back on me.

"I know everything. You love someone else aren't you? We don't love each other. You and I were forced to get married. I know you don't want this marriage and so do I so let's just break up We'll both be free then you can marry the person you love." I said as he turned his back on me.

"No one else. Are you sure the real reason why you want to break up is because I'm with another woman or you're with another man?" He suddenly turned around and approached me.

"I-I don't have anything else, and if there is, it's of no use to you. As long as we separate!" I was surprised when he brought his face close to my ear. My hair rose quickly. I can't move because I feel so nervous.

"As long as you don't tell me your real reason then." He walked away and turned his back on me.

"You and I won't get a divorce." He said last before leaving. What's wrong with you?!

What's wrong with this a**hole?

I'm freeing you! are you stupid?

"You f*cking st*pid b*stard a**hole. You sh*tty peanut size brain! You motherf*cker!" I screamed loudly because I was so annoyed that nothing came out of my mouth. I threw my sandals at the door.

I was surprised when the maids entered the room.

Miya was with them. Miya is my personal maid, since I became Kai's wife. She is the one who takes care of me.

Everyone knows that I am possessive of my husband and not only that, I also hurt the workers because I am a 'villain'.

That's why they are all afraid of me, but I will change that until I divorce my husband.

I will win people's hearts. I need my allies inside mcknight's mansion because I'm alone here.

Miya quickly came to me and supported me.

"My god! What happened here, duchess? Why is this place so messy? Did you and the duke fight? Are you all right?" She asked confused. She took my sandals and returned to me again.

I looked at her companions. Almost no one tried to approach me. Am I like that with them?

I don't have time to think today. I'm tired and I want to rest first.

"What are you doing? Go fix the duke's office!" She ordered them which they immediately obeyed. Besides my personal maid. She is also the head maid.

"Get some rest. You look tired, duchess." She said it was amazing. I just nodded and we started walking.

'Duchess?' Ha! 'Duchess without powers?'

Even though I'm a duchess here, there are still a lot of people who look down on me because apart from the fact that he didn't came to our honeymoon, 6 years ago. I also come from a not so rich family.

I need power. Now that I am a duchess I have no power and people look down on me. I'm sure if we divorce people will look down on me even more.

McKnight is the richest family here in the Obelian Empire. Kaiden's father Maximilian is the younger brother of the emperor. They are three siblings, Emperor Charleston, the eldest. Prince maximilian, the second and Princess sheena, the youngest.

Kai's father died when he was 15 years old. At a young age he immediately became a duke because he was an only child.

When we got to my room. I immediately threw myself on the bed which surprised miya.

"Duchess!" She scolded and hit my foot. I just looked at her.

"You can't do that! Remember! You are the duchess of the richest family in the obelian empire next to the imperia-" I cut her off and stood up. I sat on the bed and fixed myself.

"I know that, but I'm tired so can I sleep now?" I asked her.

She just snorted and nodded.

"But first change your pajamas."

I stood up. She took my sleepwear. She helped me remove my dress that was as heavy as a chandelier.

After that I changed too. I lay down again and she sat next to me.

"I can only ask. What happened inside? Why is it so sparse? Did you fight with the duke? Did he hurt you?" She asked one question after another.

“No.” My answer is short.

“But sir—”I cut off her word and I answered.

"I asked him if we could get a divorce." Her eyes widened quickly and pulled me upright.

"M-miya?" I asked hesitantly because she was looking at me very sharply.

"WHAT?!" She shouted loudly. She grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me.

"W-what was the duke's answer?" She asked nervously.

"B-let go of me first." She followed what I said.

"Of course—" I cut off what I was going to say and looked at him. It's cute HAHAHAHA

She was waiting for what I would say next. “Of course—No.” She seems to have been pulled out by what I said.

She wheezed. "That's good." I stood up and pushed him out of my room.

"I answered your question. You can go out now." I quickly closed the door.

"Duchess? B-but?"

The 'villains survival diary' starts tomorrow! Let's see if I can save myself from my tragic ending.

I lay down again and closed my eyes.

Can I save myself? Can I avoid my tragic ending? Or can the writer's writing be followed?

The real battle begins tomorrow.