Well I was just flirting with my bby, then his phone buzzed.. He checked it, and i saw he was a bit restless.. What could make him restless,"bby are you ok?" I asked.. he forced out a smile... Ok I just didn't want to pry much, so I just hugged him as we cuddled up in the warm blanket... But then the buzzing sound coming from his phone,kept on poking my mind... I had to know what it was . Tar kept on covering and muting his phone whenever it rang... "Who could it be bby" I asked.. " it's nothing ok.. just go to sleep... I looked at him, then nod .. I snuggle closer to him then close my eyes.. after he was sur that I was sleeping, he stood up and took his phone... After some minutes, he came back to me and lay beside me... Thinking I was asleep, he kissed my forehead and spoons me then I just decided not to make a big deal out of it.. so I went to sleep...

***

The next day

After dressing for school, I made my hair, added my hair pin, put on some make up, then went to check on Tae... He was still sleeping.. I bent down hovering over him, I study his face.. so handsome and vulnerable right now... How much I love this guy, but he has been acting weird since my party after recovering... I just couldn't resist the urge to kiss him, I just found my lips connected to his lips... "Stalking me when I'm in your house huh?" He joked with a smile as he kissed me back.. "g.. good morning" I blush as I quickly got up.. he pulls me on top of him, and puts his hands in my baggie hoody... His hands were cold and sexy.. what m I thinking.. I was .. arrh...he just ruined my thoughts as his hand brushed through my pants,.. was he trying to seduce me cuz it's working... I let a soft moan.. "babe.. we have classes in an hour, and from here to school is about half an hour" I said trying to escape which I did... He got up, and got prepared for school.. after we finished, we ate breakfast then left for school...

***

At school

I sat at my normal position by the window... I was my own nerd... But Tae sat beside me... He took my hands in he's,.. he seems more romantic today or am I just hallucinating... What is he hiding.. and from me... I'm just jealous... I need answers to what's... But I was interrupted by his phone.. it rang and I was fast to pick up.. I don't know why, but something just made me pick it... Was I insane.. and then the whole class wass looking,but I gave zero fuck's about it.. I raised the phone to my ear, and what I heard just broke my heart into pieces "hey babe when will we meet up again... I really miss you" unknown.. I clutch my heart... It hurts.. but I just couldn't take the phone off my ear ... Was he cheating on me... I was all sweaty.. he was saying something, but I just couldn't hear it.. I clutch my chest.. ahh.. it hurts...so much.. get ... Get it off... Just rip my heart out... I was in serious pain.."hello.. babe.. why ain't you talking.. hello.. of you don't talk, I'll come over to your school" unknown... Why ... What else am I hoping to hear .. that it's just a prank.. he tried to hold me, but I hit his hands off.. I clutch my chest hard.. I was feeling dizzy.. my heart.. it hurts a lot.. so much.. I .. can't... I can't bare it... I fell.. but before I reached the ground, I fainted..

***

2 days later..

I woke up in my 2nd home the hospital.. I said it, I have to win an Oscar for the most frequently admitted patient..the first person that came to my mind when I woke up was Tae.. I was hoping to see him.. but.. but he.. he was not by my side... No.. it.. it hurts... So much.. I groan in pain, then I hear whisper.. turning my head, I see them.. he hugged him.. he's not even as handsome as I am, not even rich.. what did Tae see in him to cheat on me with him.. but.. my heart still fucking hurt.. I think I was going to pass out.. I clutch my chest hard this time... It was so painful.. then he entered room.. I looked at him, then tears well up in my eyes.. "babe what's it?' he asked.. acting Al innocent with me huh.. "I loved you" was what I was able to say at first.. but why.. why would I want to tell that to someone who cheated on me.. he sits beside me "I know babe.. and I always will love you " he said.. how people shamelessly say lies.. ", you probably don't " I said.. "why would you say such thing baby.." he asked.. I burst out crying"baby please calm down and tell me what's going on.. "who was he" I randomly asked... "Who" he asked.. still playing dumb huh?.. "the boy I spoke with yesterday" I asked.. "he is my Brother.. babe don't tell me you got a heart panic when it happened..  babe please don't scare me like that " he said hugging me.."I.. I was just jealous

I was just jealous.. how could your brother call you babe?.. no he was lying to me.."I don't want lies Taeyang" I said.. barely a whisper... My heart still hurts... When I woke up with amnesia, I was also diagnosed with heat problem... Anything could trigger it.. I closed my eyes taking in air.. "why.. what did you see in him to ditch me?" I asked.. sitting up, I take his face in my hands and kiss his lips.. he just let me do what I want.. and I felt more angry.. I bit his lips till he bled.. I licked his blood... He still said nothing.. I burst out crying... He hugs me letting me vent my anger... "Answer me Taeyang Jinsik.. why .. I just need a fucking explanation.." I said between my sobs... "Baby" he said... I wanted to answer, but no... How could I.."don't call me that" I said... "Kim.. he is my biological brother.. he was taken in by my uncle.. and now he's back.. yes he is gay, but I can swear on my life that we only have the relationship between siblings " he says I already forgave him, but I just wanted proof and explanation that will make me say it... I take his hands and place it on my chest... It was beating rapidly and loudly... I look at him... "Tae... What did the doctor say " I asked.. as we locked eyes... He just hugged me I felt it.. he was crying.. his tear fell on my neck.. "tell me" I urged .. he quickly wipes his face and forced a smile.."you'll be ok.. I promise" he said.. I pull out of the hug.."I know what's wrong with me.. but I just want to confirm " I said.. still taking his hand on my chest... He was feeling how hard it was beating... "You.. you have... Baby I'm sorry " he began to cry.. he couldn't bring himself to say that I was dying... I just have roughly 3 years to live.. hh how funny right.. I don't want to hurt him.... I.. I don't want to.. no.. I won't die and let him suffer.. "let's break up " I said out of the blue... He recoils... "W..why?" He couldn't bring himself to talk... "I don't love you anymore" I said.. no.. I can't afford to pass out now . I have to convince him I don't love him again... "I'm sorry babe please.. please don't push me away like this.. I'll die" he says... He was serious... I can feel it... He was crying..we both were... "Then die... I hate you .. I.. can't continue to play with you" I said.. "I know.. I know you love me.. please baby" he said holding me.. he hugged me,but I pushed him away.."I just used you for sex.. yes I gave you whatever you wanted,but I truly never loved you.. you were just my whore.. my sluth.. but now.. I'm done with you.. you bore me" I said I can't.. hold on.. I passed out,but I felt his hands holding me.. he was crying.. but trying to call the doctor.. his voice was a whisper.. "please don't do this to me... I.. know I.. know you love me.. I.. I can't bare it if you leave me.. please Kim" he said.. the doctor came in, and did whatever he did..

***

A week later

I woke up still in the hospital... I checked, hoping to see him.. but he was not there.. I waited for him... I knew he wouldn't leave me.. no.. I'll die if he did.. but then.. I told him to leave me .. I said many hurtful things to him.. I know he still loves me.. the door open,I turn my head in excitement,I wanted to tell him I took back all what I said.. I wanted to ask him to forgive me.. I love him.. "ba..." I pursed mid-sentence.. "ah finally you are awake" she said.. I looked away.. "yes" I answered.. she sits beside me.. I had this bad feeling.. it was bugging me "w.. where is he?" I asked.."you asked him to leave" she answered.."Yoonah please where is he" I asked.. my heart was pounding... This was not good..what have I done..I.. I needed to find him.. "Kim...calm.."but she was forced to shut up as I stood up.. "w..where did.. where did he go?" I asked.. barely able to talk.. I looked so pale and fragile.. I need my baby back.. I rushed out of the hospital clutching my chest... It hurts, but no I was stubborn to give up.. "doctor!!" A nurse shouted as I ran out..

***

Tae's POV

When he said those things to me, I felt hurt.. but I know he wants to protect me from heartbreak.. the doctor said he has roughly 3 years to live... He doesn't want me to get hurt.. but without him, my life is meaningless... I'll die.. but then

"What triggered him to faint?" The doctor asked me.. I looked at him with my swollen red eyes,.. my voice breaking "he said we should break up.. but I.. I was begging him.. he.. he refused.. but.. but doctor.. I know..I know he still loves me.. he knows what is wrong with him.. he .. he wants to push me away so it doesn't affect me after 3yrs.." I said.. the doctor looks from me to him.. "then you should leave.. if you stay, he will always judge himself for hurting you.. and it can be worse than this.. if he has more than 5 break down, he might not live up to a year " the doctor said.. I.. I had to go.. I can't be selfish.. he deserves better... He's too young to die... So I left.. I was never going to cross part with him, so I traveled to Bangkok.. I was going to spend my life there.. but I gave my brother an assignment to secretly watch over him.. on no account should he let Kim know about him

Taeyang's POV

A year had passed, my life has been a living hell.. yeah I really missed Kim... I missed him like fuck... I tried moving on with my life, but I failed... I was now that playboy that changes boyfriends like an underwear... But the funniest thing is that whenever I want to kiss them, I just feel like throwing up... So we break up... I became an exchange student in the Bangkok... I wanted Kim to be happy.. to talk about Kim,my brother kept me updated.. he only came to school, and went back home.. he's more fragile than before.. I really wanted to go to him, but I was scared of triggering his disease..

***

Bangkok school

I came into the class, there was no place to sit.. so I sat beside our nerd... He was just like Kim with blue hair,but it was short... He wore his hoodie and sweatpants, with his glasses... I just kept on glancing at him.. "hi" I said to him.. his cheeks flushed. And he looked down before mumbling "hi" I smile, then dig my fingers into his hair.. just like Kim... And then he looked at me smiling.. wait it's Kim.. "I've been looking through hell to find you.. where did you disappear to?" Kim asked me.. I was smiling like an idiot.. "baby I'm sorry.. but now that I've seen you, I'll not let you go" I said.. I lean in closer to kiss him, "what are ... What are you doing?" The nerd stuttered.. I recoil.. fuck... Was I just seeing things? Am.. am I loosing my mind... "I'm.. I'm sorry" I said then left the class...

Later after school, I was sitting under a tree then I saw a familiar hand.. I looked up and saw his smiling face.. no.. was I hallucinating again... But then the voice "here" Kim said giving me chocolate.. I took it, still spellbound looking at him.. then he ran off with a blush.. I looked at my hand, and yes the chocolate was with me so I was not imagining things... Kim.. he's here... I need to find him.. I ran after him, then I saw him.. he turned and waved at me.. I hugged him.. "I thought I lost you" I said then kissed him.. but then I felt off.. I looked at him and fuck it was that nerd... "I.. I'm.. I'm sorry" I said stepping back and holding my head.. I was going insane.. how could I see things just like that... "Are you ok?" The nerd asked.. helping me keep my balance.. I looked At him tears welling up in my eyes.. he takes me to a corner and hugs me.. I let it all out.. I cried.. just like a baby.. "I'm sorry about what happened in class, and I'm sorry for what I just did.. and I'm sorry for letting you see me cry" I said sniffling. He smiled "it's ok.. but if I'm not prying much, can I at least know what's wrong with our h..hot kid" he asked.. I scoff.. hot kid my foot.. "I'm going crazy" I said

. He gasps.. not fully understanding.. "I see him everywhere I go" I said, covering my face with my palms.. he rubs my back.. "I don't really know what you are going through, but I'm sorry" he said.. I hold his hand, making him to face me.. I was so close to him, he gulps... As his face both his ears were red.. he was blushing... "Kim was, and is still my first love.. we.. we love each other alot.. but.."I told him what happened... But then I stopped when I heard him crying.." hey are you alright?" I asked.. he nods.. "I'm.. I'm sorry.. I'm so emotional.. I only see this kind of things in movies or novels, but I'm actually here with a living example.. and I'm sorry you had to go through all this" he says wiping his face.. I smile.. "but I really love him.. I.. I can give my heart for him, but I know.. I know he'll reject it" I said.. "you both need an award for the best couple" he joked trying to lift the mood.. I chuckle.

***

The next day in my apartment

I took a shower and decided to chat my brother up..

Babe:

Hello

                                                         Shinwoo:

                                                         Hi babe

Babe:

How's my boyfriend                  

                                                    Shinwoo:

                                                    As always..                             

                                                  But I became

                                                     his friend

Babe:

Ok. Thanks..

Just make sure not

TO FALL IN LOVE

WITH HIM

                                                 Shinwoo:

                                              I can't promise

                                                you that,

                                                 but I'll try

Babe:

Bye.. I just got

Jealous

I went offline.... I sigh.. his birthday is tomorrow I have to go back to Korea.. we had break at school for 2 weeks,so I'll just go and watch him from afar... Yes.. from afar.. nothing else.. I was repeating it in my head to convince myself.... But I'll have to buy him gifts and ask Shinwoo to give him.. I went shopping... Yes I worked part-time, and I was earning more than I needed.. so at least let me spoil my boyfriend from afar.. I bought him a hair pin, his favorite perfumes and some makeup kits.. yes.. when we were alone, he used to love crossdressing.. so I bought him some girls clothes and shoes... I smile at myself... I booked an online flight.. I'll leave today.. yes.. today so I'll have time to make a plan with Shinwoo.. but I'll have to go and see.. him.. I began to pack.. I packed my clothes, took a leave for a week, and went to the airport.. after waiting for an hour, my I board the plane and..KOREA HERE I COME.. And also..KIM BABY HERE I COME.. I was over joyed.. I'll be seeing my Kim for the first time in a year.. then now I begin to think.. how will I react when I see him.. will I be able to stop myself from running to him?.. I should just have given Shinwoo the gifts to give him.. how selfish I can get sometimes..