...The Space in our Heart...
...Chapter 1...
The smell of pine assaulted my nose. The crunching of dried leaves and twigs underneath my boots echoed as I thread my way back to the house, the early morning breeze blowing sofly causing me to shiver, giving goosebumps on my exposed skin. My hands reached for my arms rubbing it. I know walking with just a thin beige satin robe was not a good idea but—inhaling a lung full I smiled as I exhaled. "This day will be a wonderful day!."
My eyes fixated in our backyard gazebo, decorated in flowers or pink, white and red, fairy lights hanging beautifully everywhere as well as all or mine and Zion's pictures. Tables arranged accordingly in the entirety of the garden with flowers and candles on top of pastel pink table cloths. My cheeks burned at the though of tonight's occasion. Heart thumping wildly, my hand reached clutching robe as I try calm myself down by heaving a deep breath through my nose and exhaling it through my mouth.
"God damnit you need to calm yourself down Jade!." I hissed under my breath as I bite my lip, my head hanging low, suppressing a grin. This last few days had been hectic for my family and us preparing for this day... Mine and Zion's engagement party doubled as my surprise baby announcement for my fiance and family, my hands reached for my small belly bump, caressing it gently, to be honest I'm surprised myself my fiance doesn't even notice it yet.
"Baby, Mommy's really excited for tonight." I hummed, as I looked back up realizing im Infront of our backyard porch, chucking to myself I walked inside discarding my boots at the side of the door as my fiance, Zion was now in the kitchen counter brewing coffee.
"Jade? Why're you up so early honey?." I smiled as he glanced at me picking up his coffee, I shake my head as I hummed.
"Nothing, just walking around." My hands wrapping around his torso as his free hands settled on my waist as soon as he reached me, sighing contentedly, his body relaxing as he pulled me closer gently rocking side to side, humming a silent tune.
"Excited for tonight?" He chuckled causing me to pout, burying my head on the crook of his neck as I feel my cheeks heat up.
"Am I that obvious?" I laughed in attempt to dismiss my embarrassment yet failed, sometimes I would just hate myself for flushing so easily like this seriously!.
I lifted my head once again to face him as he put down his cup on the island counter. "Jade, darling..."
"Yes?" I answered. His hands rubbing my sides, my eyes study his side features that's being illuminated by the yellow light of the sun peering out the window sills, his gaze outside probably inspecting the decor.
The smile of his lips faltering for a moment letting out a silent sight, causing my brows to furrow. Is there something he doesn't like? Maybe the color scheme? Or is it just too much? My hands on his hips tightened as I opened my mouth to speak.
"...Zion do—"
"Jade, can we talk about—"
His grays landed on mine as we both spoke and stopped at the same time our gaze locking for half a minute. My lips remained parted as I stared, my head tilting to my right a bit at the slight tension forming in the air. His face held a pensive expression as he shake his head sofly, giving me a small smile, dismissing what his about say.
"I didn't mean to cut you off, what was it?" He immediately said after a moment, causing my shoulders to slouch a bit, his grays avoiding my dark ones, going back to look out the window again.
"Oh... Um." Lips frowning at his dismissal, my teeth bite my lips as my eyes landed on his cup on the counter. There was definitely something else his supposed to say, I just feel it. What is it? My eyes moving up on his slightly furrowed brows, my chest thumping slightly louder at the thoughts of him hiding something.
"Nothing... I, was just uh." My eyes shifted out the garden. "...Thinking if the decor was too much."
He didn't answer for a while making my forehead to crease for his lack of response, is he thinking of backing out tonight? No! He wouldn't do that to me... Right? We've been together for eight years now, he won't back out on me.
Why am I even having this thoughts right now? He's not doing that. My heart now hammering hard on my my chest, shifting my weight to my left foot as quietly swallowed the lump forming in the throat. Right, he won't be doing that, he just won't! Don't overthink Jade goddamnit!
I assured myself, heaving silently, my teeth bitting on my lips once again as the churning in my stomach didn't seem to stop and won't stop any moment now, damnit why am I even thinking things like this?!
"Jade?"
It's not like I overthink things like this whenever he doesn't answer right away. Maybe he's thinking something else? Right, and, and it's not like this doesn't happen... him spacing out. My heart pounding at my chest harder like a caged bird causing an increase in my temperature and of course my palms sweating. Shit this is bad why am I overthinking so much?!
"Jade, darling." A slight shake on my shoulders caused me look at him, his grays staring straight back at me. A wave of confusion flashed my features as my lips parted.
"You've been quite for a whole minute." He spoke softly, his hands cupping my cheeks rubbing it as the other one was left at the side of my hips.
"What are you thinking?." He added, his expression displaying worry, causing me to immediately avert my gaze, his hands on my cheeks falling as I turned my head, shutting my eyes tightly as I inhaled a shaky breath quitely, opening them as looked back.
"N-nothing, in particular... still a bit sleepy I guess..." Smiling as I try to dismiss it, he looked at me skeptically before nodding.
"Alright. I guess it's too early as well, do you want to go to bed again?" He asked rubbing my side sofly, causing my heart to slowdown, but not enough to completely cease it. Yeah maybe... No I'm just overthinking.
"Yeah, that'll be great."
...The Space in our Heart...
...Chapter 2...
The heat of the sun peering down from the window sill a few meters away from our bed woke me up. Grunting as I turned to my right, my hands reaching out only to find empty space. Slowly I opened my eyes. He must've left. Glacing at his bed side table where the clock displayed 10:15 in bold red lights. Still nine hours of waiting.
"Urgh!" Once again grunting as I propped my elbow lifting me up, followed by a yawn. My stomach grumble as I blinked away my tears from yawning. Somehow all my giddiness and anxiety from earlier are mostly gone. My head turned towards the window to my left. The sun is high. I should really eat, specially it's not only me I'm feeding.
Leisurely standing up as I made my way towards the bathroom to brush my teeth. My reflection displaying my disheveled hair, the crusts on the sides of my eyes, to the lathered toothpaste dripping down my chin as I stared at myself. Absolutely not the look of someone who's just been engaged that is.
Spitting the toothpaste out the sink, my face contorted into a scowl. Why am I even acting like this right now? It's not like me to be upset at such foolish things. He, is not hiding something!. Done. Period. Get over with the matter already, is what I am trying to convince myself but somewhere at the back of my head still linger this feeling. Is it uncertainty, weariness of something.
Walking out the bathroom after I've brushed my teeth, my eyes landed on the folded yellow piece of paper pined underneath our picture frame by his night stand. I didn't notice this earlier. Walking towards it I picked it up. My gaze lingering at our photograph, my lips forming into a small smile.
It was our college graduation photo. Happiness plastered on both our faces. Happiness. We're still happy. It's just, that there's this bitter after taste after every embrace, every kiss, touches... Lingering. What is it? Why's it there?
Immediately shaking my head as a way to dismiss my thoughts, I opened the paper...
Jade, darling I'm going out for the moment. Mom called saying there's a problem with the catering menu so I'll be going. I wrote this since I'll probably be too busy to even hold my phone knowing Mom. I'll be back maybe around 2 to 3pm.
P.s. already cooked breakfast so you'll just eat, there's marinated pork in the fridge too. I'll be back soon I Love you ♡.
I sighed, putting back the note at the stand. Well there's that.
Making my way towards the door, down the stairs to our living room. Empty and quite. Roaming my eyes around the sunlit room, white furniture glistened as rays of light bounced off them beautifully as well as the flowers in the middle of the glass coffee table. This could be Pinterest worthy, chuckling lightly I continued to trudge my way towards the kitchen area where my breakfast awaits me.
Seeing an omelette at the table with my mug besides it, a pocket of my favorite tee inside. I glanced at the fridge then back to the omelette. I'm hungry but I'm craving something else. With furrowed eyebrows I stomped my way towards the fridge. Nothing. I, then proceeded to the cupboards, searching for anything else that'll satisfy my craving.
There I found a premade pancake mix. I picked it up. Behind it, cereals. I winced. Nope that's gross, no cereals for me!. Immediately I prepared the pancakes, cook them then proceed to make my way towards the couch and plopped in it, pancakes in hands now drizzled with honey and an assortments of berries and crushed hazelnuts. This... Is the definition of heaven.
And as of cue my stomach growled. Laughing as I gently rubbed it. "Yes, yes I know my dear. Mommy's hungry too."
Grabbing the remote I turned on the TV shifting channels as I devour. Yes devour my food like some kind of hungry dog. Occasionally laughing at the program I'm watching. This is actually good. I haven't really have the house to myself in a while now. Just me laying around, enjoying solitary.
I turned the TV off after a while, pancakes long gone as I glanced at the digital clock saying 12:30 pm. I blinked, looking outside the window, seeing the sun high up. I've been slouching here for two whole hours already, it's not that I have anything else to do.
Deciding to stand up, empty plates in my hands, walking back to the kitchen, taking out the marinated pork out the fridge to cook it. Maybe I'll eat it later when I got hungry. I should really do the dishes. Yeah, dishes.
Picking up the used utensils and pans, I put them all to the sink. Rinsing... Scrubbing... Bubbles from the dishwashing liquid making a mess in the sink since I put too much on. Come to think of it maybe there should be bubbles when I announce that I'm pregnant? Laughing at my idea I shake my head. No that's silly and too much, plus it'll put another work to the already packed day!.
As I gently rinse the bubble out of my plate, I was rinsing the glass when a knock on my took my attention. The sharp sound of it breaking just between my feet made me squeal.
"Shit!" I hissed. "Who is it?!." I asked loud enough to the person out the door to hear.
"Delivery for Jade Fontablles!." They declared. Sighing, I cautiously, ever so carefully navigated my way out the broken glass to make my way towards the door.
"Alright just a moment!" I answered back, grabbing my indoor slippers and putting them on. My eyes roaming the room to find a broom and dustpan in my way to the door.
"Delivery for Jade Fontablles?" The boy asked confirming if it's me, when I opened the door. Smiling politely I nodded.
"Yes that's me."
"Ah, then can you sign here, and here." He handed me where to sign, pointing where to and I did what's told. After that he handed me a large rectangular white box, a red bow in the middle of it wrapped like those christmas present one's.
"Thank you ma'am." He said then left. I stood there smiling at him one last time as he drives away. This must be my dress.
I closed the door behind me. Walking into the living room, I placed the box on the couch. My foot going towards the dust pan and boom next. The broken glass' still scattered around the floor. Sighing I swept it up, thrown in the tash, then dampen a cloth to wipe the floor. Extra precaution.
After all that, I stood up. The cloth that I used thrown in the trash as well. That that for my favorite glass. My mom bought that set.
Staring outside the window out the garden, I sighed. My shoulders slouching with lips slightly forming a pout.
"Now what to do next.." I continued to stay in my position for who knows how long till a buzzing kept going.
I tried to ignore it. Maybe a bee stuck or something. But it kept going and going. Exhaling through my nose then huffing it out again, I stomped my way towards the couch seeing that it's not my phone that's going off.
My brows furrowed. Then where's it coming from?. I followed the sound, leading me to the kitchen washroom, there a phone kept vibrating. Zion's phone. Shouldn't he have this? Did he forgot it? My brows ceased. Oh that man, always forgetting stuff when in a hurry.
Chuckling I picked it up. 3 missed calls... "Jane?..."
Checking the contact number up just make sure. This is definitely my sister's number... Why's Jane calling him? I stopped and stared, my fingers hovering over the call button.
Should I call? Tell her Zion left his phone? Or— Ting!. A message.
Trisha Jane❤️
Babe!
Zion??
Helloo~
I've been calling!
Where are you?
Did you told her already?
✓read 12:47pm
My lips thinned forming a straight line. What is she talking about? My pulse raising by the second as I clasped the phone. Wait no, I'm being an over dramatic again, this is not good!. For god's sake this is my sister, why be jealous of her...
But why's her contact name with a heart? And she called him Babe! Another part of my brain yelled. Closing my eye tightly I sighed. I'll talk to him after he gets home and— Ting!... Another message popped up.
I dropped the phone. Tears forming in my eyes as my trembling hands hanged in the air...
What... What the hell?!
Trisha Jane❤️
And Babe, can you
bring some pineapples
on your way?
✓read 12:48 pm
Trisha Jane❤️
Oh right! I'm at our usual spot,
sneak out from mom later.
I have some good news!
Can't wait to see you later!!!
Love you MUAH! 💋
✓read 12:48 pm
...The Space in our Heart...
...Chapter 3...
Standing in my royal blue lantern sleeve ruffle hem dress. I stood. Lips parted as I stared at Zion who's now kneeling down on one knee in front of me.
"Zion- what?..." I gasped, my trembling hand gripped the bouquet of sunflowers, while the other's on top of my lips. My heart hammered in my chest as he smiled at me, pulling out a black velvet box from his back pocket.
"Jade..." My eyes grew wide as tears brimmed in them. I bit my lips hard when he gently grabbed my trembling hands.
"Can you make me the happiest man tonight..." His piercing gray eyes locked on mine. Pausing.
He took a deep shaky breath. "Will you marry me, darling?."
My lips quivered. Nodding quite to eagerly saying yes with voice pitched too high. Overjoyed. I tackled my now fiance in to a hug, making us fall to the grass covered ground.
We both laughed, kissing me gently before leading us both to stand. He started at me, his hands cupping my cheeks.
"Then can I?" I looked at him puzzled. Pulling out the ring from the box then looking at me, then my hand.
"Oh! Y-yes!" My eyes averting his when my cheeks grew red. I was too excited. He then gently put it in my ring finger, slowly leading it up to his lips. His gaze never leaving mine as he did.
"I love you, Jade." He said
I stared at him, my smile never leaving my lips as I replied. "I love you too."
...◆ ◆ ◆...
Two months ago, if you told me something like this would happen. I'd laughed at your face then tell you to piss off, but...
Why is this happening now? Why has it have to happen now of all times, and why would he even propose to me when he and my sister are having an affair...
I sobbed, followed by fat tears slowly streaming down my cheeks. Why did he do this? Am I not enough? In those eight years—just how long have they've been having... this?!
No, wait maybe... just maybe it's a mistake on my sister's part?. Gnawing the insides of my cheeks, I bend down to pick up the phone. It's cracked. Of course.
Looking at the previous exchange of messages only broke my heart further, like an already broken glass. Only to be crashed more till the powdered remains exists. Why did I even think it's a mistake.
Their third year anniversary was only two months ago. Two fucking months ago. The same two months where he proposed to me! Oh, how can I be so blind... so stupid?!.
Was the ring really meant for me? Or was it an accidental proposal due to me 'accidentally' receiving the message meant for her?... Come to think of it he called me the same endearment he had with my sister, the only idiotic thing I did was to brush it off!. Like always.
I was too blind. My love for him blocked all those obvious hints of Zion and my sister having an affair were treated win an excuse of them 'getting along'. My eyes trailed from the phone, down to the tiled floor.
I need to get out, to breath. To escape. I can't stay here, I don't want to, it feels like if I stayed here longer I'll go insane. All of this... Happening all at the same time are to overwhelming. I stubbled out to the kitchen.
That one moment my heart were fluttering with excitement for our evening and all that's going to happen after that. Our plans... My plans for our future as husband and wife.
I wish I could go back to that moment where I was still blinded by the loving, loyal façade my fiance was playing, but at the same time I don't want to.
My fingers gripped the cold countertop further cracking the already damaged phone underneath my hands. I stared down the trash... Why?.
These tears that seemed to never stop are already getting annoying. I don't want to cry anymore! I don't want to look pathetic anymore.
"Jade honey, I'm here!" That familiar grandiose, high pitched way of speaking. Mom.
I immediately wiped my tears away, plastering a smile. "Mom, can I talk to you for a moment."
The clicking of her jimmy choo's were hurried as it echoed down towards my direction in the kitchen, revealing here wearing a white Chanel dress with gold frills with detailed design to her matching coat.
"Oh honey why aren't you still dressed, and that face!" She walked towards me cupping my cheeks."why so... You look terrible, honey!"
"Tell me what's wrong." She said
My lips formed into a straight line. "Right... Thanks. Mom can we—."
"You know what nevermind mind, we will talk about that later. For now let's get you dressed." She let go of my cheeks and now pulling my hands up to tye living room where my dress laid.
"Mom please listen—." I pulled my hands stopping her. "It's... I..."
"Jade, honey. I know you're nervous I felt that too, but right now you need to look your best for tonight alright." She said giving me a warm smile. I can't phantom how I can't word out what happened, I could just shove the phone on her face to let her know what happening. But I can't. Why can't I?
It just seemed like my body doesn't want to. I nodded at her, she then proceeded to pull me. I don't know why I'm acting like this. Maybe shock for all that just sinking in, but one thing is for sure I don't want that bright smile on my mom's face to vanish... Even for just a while longer I want to see her in this happy state...
I don't know how of when we got up here in my room but we did. How she pulled my fazed self and at the same time grabbed my dress was unknown. But I'm here now in my bathroom zipping my dress up. It was a nude floral print sweetheart neck lantern sleeve dress. Simple but romantic.
I got out from the bathroom to which was were mom is waiting. "What do you mean? Okay that's fine."
"Mom? What's wrong?."
She turned towards me frowning a bit. "Your sister said that the catering had a bit of a hold back so, she's dealing with it. Then, Zion's nowhere to be found so, she'll be looking for him as well."
My face fell. I can't say I didn't see this coming, but it still hurts.
"It's so not like those too to—"
"Mom lets just get to the make up." I cut her off. Turning my back to walk towards my vanity. Damn this sucks. I sat turning my head away as my tears fall. This suck big time.
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