I can't breathe, I can't breathe. He's hugging me.

This boy is hugging me.

I can't breathe, I can't. My head is spinning. I feel like I'm going to faint. He- he just killed his uncle! His uncle is now lifeless beside me. I-I can't see. I need to...

Huff, Huff.

I'm hyperventilating. I can't stop trembling. His uncle's hand is on my lap. Why is it on my lap? I can feel his uncle's blood between my legs now. It-its still warm. Why is this kid still hugging me? I want to push him. I want to kick him away from me.

I want to, but my entire body is shaking.

I need to concentrate, concentrate.  My breathing. I-i can't.

"It's fine now, so take gentle breaths in.

My mother explained that the faster you breathe in and out, the more oxygen you lose , and the more carbon dioxide is trapped inside you. Breathing in slowly is quite helpful. Hannah and I shared a similar experience. Try inhaling slowly, okay? Trust me."

What? What is this kid saying? What the f**k is he saying? I can't follow. Why is he calm? Why is he smiling? Does he know he just killed his uncle?

Is he, is he instructing me on what to do? He is scaring me more right now by patting my back. I can't see anything. My heart is thumping hard. I can feel my pulse in my head, my chest and in my fingers. It's radiating all over my body. I can hear it loud and clear. I can hear it more than the noise around me. My view is swirling. I need to get out of here. 

"Hey! Don't try to get up older sister. You'll get yourself hurt."

Hurt? Is he planning to kill me next? Ugh, my stomach. Did I get hit in the stomach?

I feel sick. Ergh....blurgh!

"Now look, you vomited. See~ I told you. You should stay put."

I'm not supposed to be here. I need to find my aunt.

The door, I see the door.

"Hey older sis, come back. You're not safe out there!"

I need..to..

__________________________________________________________

When did this all happen?

Ah, yes.

It was a week ago.

My mother had requested me to go see her sister a week earlier. To go see Aunt Marie on some island. I solely communicated with my aunt through online platforms such as WhatsUp and Messager. What would it have been if I had denied my mother's request back then? When I should have gone to karaoke with my buddies after volleyball practice, or simply ignored her appeal and went straight to bed to rest. I don't think I'd be stuck here on this island. I would have continued to live a quiet life away from this wild stupid island. I miss mom and dad, my brother, and my friends.

I clearly recall the sunlight streaming in through the window beside my bed. The breeze that came through the window. And my alarm clock.

Ring~

Ring~

Ring~

"Aria, you need to get up now honey or you will be late."

I grab my pillow and cover my ears beneath it. I need five more minutes. I couldn't really sleep well last night since I had to study late and had a dream. I don't remember much of it, but I can only visualize a crow or a raven. I was having an ambivalent feeling about it. Was it bad or was it good?

Ring~

Ring~

Ring~

"Urgh. Annoying, fine." I rolled my eyes and sat down. I wipe the morning bloom from my eyes.

I turned off my alarm clock, which was positioned on my study table next to my bed. Now that I am awake, I peek out my window. The sky is so blue, there are no clouds. I stare at it for a few seconds. At the very least, the air is fresh and pleasant. Plus, the sunflowers in the blue vase on my table match the sky nicely today. I put my hands together and utter a small prayer of gratitude.

Looking at how my furniture is positioned, I applaud my mother for her efforts.

My room is on the second story, alongside my brother's and parents' rooms.

My room isn't that huge. If I face my closet, I can see to my left a large window and my study table.

To my right is a large human-sized mirror and the corridor door. My bed is opposite my closet, near my study table, and there is another door that leads to the comfort room.

Oh, the one issue I see is that my bed is near the comfort room.

I tried to question mom, and she explained that having a bed near the window is beneficial and brings good fortune. Okay, it's not like my comfort room stinks. I clean it nearly every day, but nevertheless. I suppose I can't argue against Mom.

Each bedroom has its own comfort area. Yeah, this is quite convenient. So far, my life has been peaceful and convenient.

Knock

knoock

My attention was drawn to the door. It's Mom.

"Aria aren't you awake yet? In 10 minutes the bus will be here. Your father can't take you to school honey. Get up and don't be lazy now. Today is the last school year and tomorrow is the start of summer, remember? You can be lazy tomorrow just not today."

I believe mom came from the kitchen below. I smell something delightful. My stomach growls. Mom must have planned carefully about the meal for today.

"Yeah Mom, I hear you. Just give me some minutes, and I will be downstairs."

I got up, made my bed, closed my window, arranged my belongings on the study table, shifted the vase to the left, washed my face and brushed my teeth, put on my uniform, brushed and tidied my hair in front of the mirror, and smiled. Lastly I grabbed my black wristwatch on the drawer of my study table and wore it on my left hand. I opened my door and went straight to the kitchen, where mom was.

My favorite areas in our house are the kitchen and our side garden. We have a variety of flowers and herbs. Mom enjoys growing flowers, whereas Dad enjoys growing herbs. Whenever I'm feeling emotional, such as when I'm particularly unhappy or sad, I go to the garden because it helps me to relax. The aroma of mint herbs is something I enjoy there.

I looked around the dinner table. My eyes are twinkling like diamonds, similar to those seen on animated faces in cartoons and animes when they view something enjoyable. The table was crammed with beautifully designed delicacies.

I see Dad coming down the stairs. He is now at present in the kitchen. He pulled out the chair and sat down. I need to say something, oh.

"Good morning dad. How was your day yesterday?"

"Good morning Aria. It was fine, thank you."

Hmm... Dad is as stoic as ever, a man of few words. Sometimes I feel like he's distant towards us, his children. I know he cares, but I want him to express more when his around us, his kids.

I see him looking around.

"Where is your older brother? Could you call Kyle please Aria."

I glanced at my dad and said,

"Sure dad."

On the edge of the stairs, I command my brother with a loud voice.

"Hey, Kyyyyyyyyyylllleeee come down here immediately! You. Hard. Headed teenageeeer!"

I smiled after saying those words. This will surely make him come down.

I heard my brother's door open and him say,

"Aaaaariaaaaaa! when I get down be sure to hide from me or else I'm so gonna twist your ears, brat!"

I returned to the kitchen and spotted mom.

Mom was giving me a disapproving look.

"Aria don't talk like that with your older brother."

I pouted. Mom was about to say more when Dad interrupted her.

"Good morning honey bunny. How was your day yesterday?"

I think I am doing a cringe face right now. I forgot that Dad would turn out like this when he faces mom. It's like, he's a different person whenever he is with her.

Dad is hugging Mom. Is this really my father? I mean, I know dad is mainly expressive to mom, but I guess I'm not used to how he went from 180 degrees to 360 when he expresses his love towards her. Ugh, the discomfort. I think dad might be two faced. On the other hand mom seems to enjoy it.

And now they're in lovey-dovey mode. Ugh, they really are a match, huh? Mom is a chef, therefore I've been blessed with a talented, beautiful, and caring mother. My father is a businessman.

He is strong and simple, some days a challenge to read, and at times monotonous; still this is merely my view of him. Often I believe he is a robot, and mom is the trigger that causes him to become a clingy human being.

Hmm... Looking at them again, I might be exaggerating. I believe dad's greatest assets are his face and body. Oh, and how he treats Mom so tenderly. 

My grandmother, Stacey, on my mother's side, told me that their love story was almost like a well written drama.

Of course I don't believe it. My parents were unbelievable, she exclaimed. She stated that they are not the same people we their children know today.

She told me mom was the rebel and dad was the emo kid. Emo kid? Ha! That's funny.

I turned my left hand to see my wrist watch.

I direct my attention to the food. Right, I have less than 3 minutes until the bus arrives, so I can't take my time savoring Mom's cooking, and I need to avoid Kyle.

He'd really twist my ears.

My brother sticks to his promise. When he claims he'll try to be popular and smart, he genuinely does. His popularity at school is troublesome. He is six feet tall, has charms and he has the right side dimple which girls like.

I'm continually being compared, and his stalkers try to get closer to him through me. He isn't mister perfect. I know his weaknesses. He doesn't like cockroaches, and he doesn't like watching horror movies. Boy oh boy when gets scared he shouts and runs like a lady. If the ladies knew this I bet they would see him in a different light.

Anyway, I'm not gonna let him twist my ears today.

Since I'm only 5.6 ft. I swiftly grab a chair to help me reach the top cabinet, that keeps the kitchen utensils and tapper wares.I got myself some taper wares. I quickly wash my hands and use the serving spoons to get the food that appeals to me the most. This includes Eight Vietnamese rice paper rolls with peanut sauce (inside of it are vegetables, rice, and shrimp), eight Munchi, squid rings with butter sauce, and plenty of lettuce. Lunch will be served in two more Tapper ware dishes. One for the rice, another for the beef and broccoli.

"Honey, don't you think that's too much?" Mom returned the chair I took in its proper place and looked at me, suggesting that I reduce the amount I took.

I pondered for a second and said,

"No, mom. This is just enough for a 17-year-old me." I smiled at my mother. 

Well, the truth is that I'd like to share this with my close gals at school. 

I adore hearing them remark that I'm lucky to have a mother who likes to vary the food every day. 

I enjoy hearing them praise mom. I hear the bus's beep and my brother's hurried footsteps from above.

My bag pack is on the couch in the living room, so I'll have to pass through the stairs and cross paths with my brother.

Shoot!

I have to hurry. I stack and grab the containers.

"Goodbye, mom and dad. I love you," I said without looking at them. Not enough time; I'll just do it properly the next chance I get.

"Be careful." I heard dad say. I smiled at my parents.

"If you drop the food, I'll let you clean it up, and you'll be late." Mom's voice is a touch loud and serious.

When I try to glance back, I see Kyle in the corner, almost at the brink of the stairway. Approximately six steps. Sheet of paper! He is nearing by the second!

"You dumb girl," he said, emphasizing the phrase. I do not like hearing that from him.

He jumps immediately, skipping the last step of the staircase, and tries to grab me. Sheet, oh sheet! I held the containers securely, keeping them close to my body ensuring it wouldn't fall, and docked my head until his waist, or just enough to avoid his attempt, then a little spin to the left going to the right then I successfully escaped from him and commented:

"You freak!" I gave him a delighted and smug grin, then hurriedly placed the containers inside my bag and grabbed it, sprinting towards the door. When I noticed the bus door open and I saw the driver in front, I cried out.

"Wait!" I raced to the bus. 

Now that I am inside the bus, I am secured. I found a free seat in front next to the window near the exit and sat down. The adrenaline rush I felt just now is like the time our team is facing a competition.

I know Kyle will not go after me. I didn't get to see his reaction, but I bet he was annoyed that his sister got away from him. I grin at that thought. He never goes to school without eating mom's prepared meal.

Now that I'm comfortable and can look out the window, I'm experiencing a wide range of emotions. Like..

"Hey Raven, I played that mobile game you suggested last night. What was the name? ML? Man, I got so addicted, so I didn't get to compile the things needed to pass for the student clearance today."

"I told you to play it when you have free time, dimwit. Don't blame me for it dogu."

"Hey what's dogu?"

"It means, dog you."

"Dog you? I feel like I'm being called a dog poop or something to do with dog mating. It sounds insulting to me my dear Raven."

"It was meant to be an insult and don't call me dear. I don't know you ."

"I didn't call you deer. I call you my dear. Why are you so mean? Why are you cranky today Raven?"

"Well, you tried to blame me for something that you should be held responsible for."

"Oh I know, is it your red day? Oh come on. I was only.."

'Dogu,' I said, smiling. Nice term. I think the students at my back are cute. I bet they'd make an excellent couple. Are they childhood pals, sweethearts? It seemed that the guy here desired her attention.

I'm going to utilize the word 'Dogu'. The word makes me grin. I believe the girl is a genius for making this up.

I wore my earphones. I took my phone from the bag. I like classical music, because it usually comforts me while traveling.

My thoughts drifted to the phrase I heard earlier "student clearance" in the conversation. I close my eyes and lean against the bus window.

I am quite grateful to our subject teachers. They had concluded that a quiz might be a better idea than letting students pass projects to them. Projects that will only for sure take up their office space. At the very least, all I have to do is to go to school and just worry about my test results today.

Thanks to them, my tapper wares fit within my bag. I am glad that I don't need to bring a single book, notebooks or projects. My bag simply has my pencil case, a fully charged mobile phone, my team volleyball sports attire, and a change of clothing  for after practice. These things are the items which I put together last night before heading upstairs to my room to study.

Good job Aria. You deserve some self appreciation. Thanks to your advance thinking you were able to escape your brother and was just in time for the bus.

I didn't realise I'd fallen asleep on the bus. Oh, here we are. We've just arrived at the school entrance. The bus driver pulled up in front of the entry hall and waited for us to get out. The students who had been conversing behind me, the girl I heard was named Raven, and her, I guess, childhood friend were the first out.

As I kept my earbuds in my backpack students are getting off the bus. I checked my possessions before standing up.

I saw three buses ahead of us, and students are getting off. Then, on the third bus, I saw Jared, my longtime crush. He has lengthy eyelashes, lovely thick brows, beautiful curly brown hair and stunning brown eyes.

I assumed he sensed that somebody was staring at him as he turned towards my bus. It could be a coincidence, and I know I'm still inside the bus, but why is it that when your crush looks at you, you tend to hide, as I am doing now?

When I noticed him glancing, I instantly cooped my body so I could touch the bus floor. Rationally, I know that, this is a poor attempt to get away from his sight, but I can't help myself. It's as if other parts of my body have their own mind. Aria what are you, a grade schooler?

"Is everything alright?"  I heard the lady driver inquired nicely.

I looked out the window to see whether Jared was still there, but I only saw his back as he headed towards the hall. I looked around the bus and noticed that I'm the only student remaining.

"No, nothing. Um, sorry, I'll get off now."

Why should I feel embarrassed? Why am I feeling embarrassed? Human feelings are complex. I went and headed towards the exit door. I can't stop myself from feeling shy no matter how I try to rationalize my actions.

"Hey," I heard the lady driver and turned to look at her before taking another step down the school bus, and I noticed she was smiling.

"You don't have to hide like that girl. He might not even know you. Just, chin up and act chill, okay?"

Oh, she knew. Yes, she could have been looking in the front mirror and been drawn to me because I was behaving strangely. I feel me going red. Her words were precise, but she didn't need to hit it in my face like that. I merely smiled awkwardly at her. I have nothing to say since it's a fact. I saw her shaking her head and smiling as she closed the bus door and drove away.

I want to go somewhere far from here. I'm imagining a mountain or a forest, a beach with sounding waves. I wanna scream. Scream from the top of my lungs. Until it hurts. I feel like crying like a spoiled kid wanting mommy to buy her that thing she wants. This is, this is..Urgh! Frustrating. I don't want this feeling. Is this what they call butterflies in the stomach? I looked at my watch. It's about time for the school bell.

_____________________________________________________________

After class

"Hey, Aria, how was the exam?" Beth approached me and placed her bag near mine. She's my closest friend. Her skin is darker and healthier than mine, and she has long legs and arms—ideal for a volleyball player or a model. She is taller than me, at 5.9 feet, with long, curly hair and a gorgeous grin. That pink hairband of hers makes her more attractive. We've known each other since middle school. I like her because she speaks without a filter and directly from her thoughts.

"Good. Oh, wait, the skin is the largest organ of the body, right? Tell me I got that right."

The volleyball team is getting ready for practice on the volleyball court bench near the sideline.

"Yeah, you got that right, little one." She laughed.

"Hey~" I smiled at her. She was not wrong, though, because I am the smallest member of the squad.

"What? You might lack the height, but you're the fastest and the spiker on the team, so be proud." She smiled and softly elbowed me on the arm side.

"Yeah? But I'd rather be a beautiful blocker. How is it you still don't have a boyfriend with that pretty face and body Beth?" I looked at her half serious and joking.

"I see~ so you're attacking me like that? Well, because boys know that they're best to stay away from me. Ha! One slap from me can send them flying." We both laughed. I agree with her. Avoid messing with volleyball players. I can assure them that a mark in the face will take time to heal. Imagine the strength of everyday Practice.

Beth elbowed me again at the arm side. I looked at her and I followed her gaze. There across us is the coach and our math teacher. I think they would make a good couple. I let out a small giggle.

"You know what, I don't get why they are still not together. I mean look. It's obvious really." Beth rolled her eyes.

"Beth, don't get jealous and don't comment bitterly. The right man at the right place, at the right time, and for the right reason will come for you. Just you wait." I turned to her and offered a hug, which she returned back. 

"You're sweet, Aria, but I am neither jealous nor bitter. I am even actively searching for my man."

She looked at them again, which made me say, "No way. No. Don't tell me, you and the coach?"

"What?! Ew, Aria. I know my limits, and I will not set sail that kind of ship, okay? What were you even thinking?" Her reaction right now is funny because she is so vehemently rejecting it. I continued smiling. Then the coach arrived and blew the whistle. We begin positioning ourselves for the drill.

Beth and I separated and when Daisy got close to me, she asked,

"Hi Aria, so um, I invited the team to celebrate my birthday today in karaoke after our practice. Will you and Beth come? Of course it's my treat, so... Um.. It's the last day of the school year right? I am hoping this time. You know...if you could..."

Daisy seems like a bright and lovely young lady. She's got blond hair, blue eyes, and pink lips.

Despite being so wealthy she is courteous and humble. She literally got everything. Is this girl really real?

Are the females here at school that attractive? Am I the only one who doesn't stand out or seems ordinary?

Yes, I will admit that this girl is making me feel insecure, and I know it is not her fault. I don't want to be rude to her, but I can understand why some people dislike her.

She's like a Disney princess. She is kind and sweet. I suppose we have the same vibes or energy. We could have been closest friends, but the fact that she is so wealthy prevents me from befriending her.

I could talk about her being a nice and happy person all day. It's only that my father's firm is at the mercy of her grandfather. This makes our relationship awkward and feels plastic. For me, it doesn't feel right.

I don't want to befriend her because I don't want to feel like I'm using her for benefits or advantages.

Also, not all wonderful and positive individuals are meant to be in your life, right?

I am aware of all her efforts to form a bond with me. I guess the problem is me. Maybe in the next life I will be her best friend, but not this one.

I believe she is sincere, and I applaud her courage in approaching me. She was timid and blushing as she inquired. I sighed and said, "I'll see. If I have nothing to do, sure, I'll go." I smiled tiredly.

"Really? Thank you!" She's even thrilled and excited. I don't want to appear like a villain, but that's impossible with her. Clearly, her presence indicates a female protagonist.

"Hey girls, focus!" our coach interrupts us.