It hurts, my chest. Why won't it stop hurting. Hot tears roll down my face, but the cold rain mixes in, making it feel even more miserable.

How did my life come to such emptiness. As I held a knife against my chest, wanting to kill myself but not being able to.

"hah, they really make this shit look easy on TV." I think to myself, wondering what I'm waiting for.

A few days ago, my life fell apart, not like it was put together in the first place, but let's just say the only one keeping me alive had left. I'm deciding if I should do the same, leave this shit hole of a life, and maybe go straight to hell instead.

The only person who had made my life worth living is dead. I killed her for deceiving me and cheating on me, but what can I do now that she's gone. I can't think straight. I don't think I ever have. my brain doesn't work like most, maybe I should have left this world sooner or my fucked up mind could've gotten more killed. I deserve to die like this, actually worse.

right now I'm stranded in the middle of some random country side road in bright daylight while it rains. I haven't heard of anyone suiciding in bright daylight while it rains outside, so I guess I'll be the first ha ha. my death might create a rainbow in the sky who knows.

here it goes...

*stabs *stabs again

again again again and again .. I keep stabbing till my arms stop moving, and my legs fall to the ground.

A dead body on the ground.

hot blood everywhere

eyes, lifeless

mouth grinning

I finally did something!

I finally killed myself!

mind now blank.

*darkness

.

.

.

*GASP

fucking shit my head is spinning, how much did I fucking drink, realization just hit me.

how the hell am I alive, istg I just stabbed myself just now..did I just come back to life. absolutely the fuck not I'm naked and wrapped in bandages all over my chest,

"argh, shit this hurts".

Where am I for real though? Nothing makes sense.

I'm in some bright room with plants and books everywhere but in an organized manner. silk pillow sheets and comfy bedding, definitely not my cold apartment. This place had a warm feeling I have never felt. It was cozy and nice.

There was a picture on the side desk by the bed of an elegant women and an old man who looked like a doctor, mostly because he was wearing hospital scrubs and maybe the women was his daughter.

"You're awake." a gentle voice of the elegent women in the photo came into the room.

She was even more beautiful then she was in the picture, she starts checking the monitor and the drip.

"what's going on?" I ask

"nothing I'm just trying to save your life." a smirk on her angelic face.