I am just an

unknown person to myself, family and society too. A person is known to everyone

by their own success or big failure. In my case I am just unknown even I am

successful or failure, I will be still unknown to everyone.

So that`s

why I decided not to share my name and show myself as unknown as I have been

living as.

I always

thought living happily is god`s gift to people. It is a gift to everyone but

only few uses it correctly. I wish I had a big brain to use that

properly. 

  Ok its time to start my journey and try to improve myself as human. Oh I forgot to mention, I am a student who never wishes to attend college. Anyways lets get ready and go to college for

my family`s sake.

I never enjoyed going to college because all I learned there was betrayal

and bullying. I never hate people but I hate their way of treating people.

One day they will show love, the other day suddenly we will become their

enemies. enemies. I hate myself for not being able to meet their standards. I wish I could

love myself to let them love me too.

Anyways, I need to accept the fact that, humans will hate another human

for no reason. It`s time for me to show my acting skills to humans in that damn

college

I got my backpack. I greet my parents before going to college. I am so

lucky to have them in my life. They are not like other parents, they know how

to support and make feel so precious in their world.

Sometimes I feel like they deserve a good, obedient and someone who can

make them happy and give them what they deserve.

God gives broken dolls to undeserved people and gives precious dolls to

some undeserved people. Broken dolls break the precious people and make them

look miserable.

Likewise, undeserved people break the precious dolls and make the

precious one`s break themselves and others too. I don`t understand if it`sa

curse or blessing, but gods things always mesmerises me.

Finally, I reached college. I rush directly towards my place and sit

silent. silent. I dont like this human interactions so I place my head on the desk to avoid human interactions. I know, I may sound so childish, but what can you expect from teenage college student? This life is so messy, lecture is already started. I started to take notes because I dont want to beg someone to share their notes with me. So I

always write my own notes.

And it is not a sin to write notes for ourselves. Anyways, I will just

focus on my lecture now. If I fail in exams, then dad will bring party again

me

Confused after hearing about party? It is not beating or any punishment.

It Is really a home party. Last time I failed in two papers, my parents

congrats me and cooked delicious meal for us. We celebrate my failure in

exams.

I still remember what my father said that day, “you gave your best but

still failed. Life is like this only. Even after your hardwork, sometimes you

will receive failure in the end. That doesn't mean you are really failed. It

means you learned a great lesson. Now too, you learned a good lesson. You know

How to stand for yourself right?”

These are the lines he told me. Too precious to forget. These lines

are the motivation for me to move forward to see what happens in the future.

Successfully, the day completed with great lessons. I am not a top, I

just got good score In exams and my parents never pressured me to get full

marks.

Don`t get jealous of my parents. They give me what they never got when

they were in my age. And I am glad for that.

Let`s go to my favorite place. After college I love to sit there and

admire the sky. Yes, I am totally in love with this beautiful nature. I love you

write some lines, just about my adoration on this beautiful nature.

I am talking like lovesick right? For this beautiful nature, I am too

much love sick.

I reached my favorite place but my smile got suddenly disappeared when I

see that place is filled with construction materials.

This people always get ready to ruin my happiness in seconds. I think

they will upgrade this area now.

With so much irritation I reached home. I just ran to my room and bury

myself on my bed. After a hard day, I need good sleep and I need to find

another good place to stay after college.

Hope I will find one more peaceful place like the previous one. Please god,

just show me one more peaceful place. 

  the more i try to get a peaceful time, the more it will haunt me with loneliness. i give up already. i am tired of everything. i am tired of living this life. i need peace to live peacefully while i literally know i am just a black spot on earth. 

 It must be hard for my parents to support a girl like me. it must be real girl for everyone to accept me as who i am. 

But.....

what  can i do? i am like this only. i am a failure who is walking in human form. 

i deeply sighed cause there is  no other way to describe myself with such words. i am already enough to tangle myself with words. now it's already enough. 

Time to drift into dreamland. i don't want to think anymore. it's hurting my heart, mind and my whole body. i can feel my pain through my eyes. tears won't come out while i helplessly stare into the darkness. 

some unknown thoughts make it hard for me. 

I started to move on from that sad part. I really need to move on and start to love

myself

  Confused hearing about sad part? Its nothing!

Just a random urge to not become a failure like people always portrait me like.

  These people are not there in my liking list.

Wanna know?

A little

small story about why I specially don`t like people. Basically people are

divided into two types.

1. Always

poke their business in someone`s life

2. Follow type 1 behaviour.

They always try to someones life with their useless ideas\. they always portraits someone elses kids to show their own kids as good god`s.   People need to chill and do their own work because I didn`t paid to god

to be born to see their stupid actions.

     So, I really need to move on from these people to show them their place

through the house of success.